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This thread is brought to you by Ferreterías El Lagar: send some actor to Russia to speak "mock Russian" by adding "-oski" to every word and make the cringiest add campaign for your hardware store. Hi friends, this is Costa Rica  We think we are "more European" than the rest of Central America and we also think we are a green country all about the environment. Neither of those beliefs are true at all but we are going to the World Cup again and that's all that matters. History https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANKtS2ygc90 We first went to the World Cup in 1990, luckily I was 7 at the time and wasn't to young to remember and enjoy it. The team barely got there with very little money and resources, in a friendly against Wales before the WC the players switched shirts after the match but then were made to go and get them back because the team had only one set of home and one set of away kit. There was a movie made about it and it's not very good but kinda fun https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3759256/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1. We had an incredible run beating Scotland 1-0, Sweden 2-1 and barely losing 0-1 against Brazil. Our star goalkeeper Gabelo Conejo was injured in the last match and without him we were eliminated in the knockout stages by Czechoslovakia after a 4-1 defeat. We were poo poo for a decade and then made it back to the WC in 2002. We beat China 2-0, drew against Turkey 1-1 and lost 2-5 against Brazil. We ended up third place due to goal difference and then Turkey went on to somehow end up on third place. We went back again on 2006 and hosed up completely, losing 2-4 against Germany, 0-3 against Ecuador and 1-2 against Poland. We missed out on 2010 and were a surprise on 2014 by beating Uruguay 3-1, Italy 1-0 and drawing against England 0-0. Then we drew 1-1 with Greece and beat them on penalties and finally drew 0-0 against Holland and went on to lose on penalties. Qualifying https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZHBqkpPdAQ lmao usmnt  The Squad  GK - Keylor Navas (31, Real Madrid) Keylor is the greatest and he will play all the matches, if he's injured we're beyond hosed.  GK - Patrick Pemberton (36, Alajuelense) Oscillates between decent and terrible so is a huge liability.  GK - Leonel "Osito" Moreira (28, Herediano) Pretty good for our lovely local tournament.  CB - Johnny Acosta (34, Rionegro Aguilas) Old and past it but is one of the coach's favorites and he is usually pretty solid.  CB - Giancarlo "Pipo" Gonzalez (30, Bologna) Pipo is great but sometimes he turns off his brain and gets sent off for incredibly dumb poo poo.  RB - Cristian Gamboa (28, Celtic) He's insanely fast and has like 5 lungs to run and run all match. Celtic pays him but he hasn't played in ages.  LB - Bryan Oviedo (28, Sunderland) He's pretty good but made of glass  CB - Oscar Duarte (28, Espanyol) He was born in Nicaragua and this pisses off all the racist fucks who blame immigrants for all their problems.  CB/LB - Francisco Calvo (25, Minnesota United) He used to be a dumbass who was frequently sent off for stupid poo poo but his time at MLS has mellowed him out a bit (this is a theme for several players here)  CB - Kendall Waston (30, Vancouver Whitecaps) He's huge and he owns, very solid central defender  LB - Ronald Matarrita (23, NYCFC) He's a good young LB, he's there in the very likely case that Oviedo breaks  RB - Ian Smith (20, Norrkoping) Young promising kid, probably won't play  CDM - David Guzman (28, Portland Timbers) Another one in the "used to be a dumbass red card magnet but was mellowed out by MLS" club, he's a very decent CDM now.  CDM - Yeltsin Tejeda (26, Lausanne) Funny name, used to be great but never really lived up to his potential.  CDM - Celso Borges (30, Deportivo La Coruña) The elusive intelligent footballer, fluent in 4 languages and plays drums and also there's a locker room rumor that he has a big dick, quite the renaissance man. His dad played in the 1990 WC and was the manager in the 2002 and 2006 WCs.  CDM - Randall Azofeifa (33, Herediano) Used to be great at free kicks but is kinda poo poo now  LW - Rodney Wallace (29, NYCFC) He's pretty good imo but probably won't play a minute.  LW - Daniel Colindres (33, Saprissa) Has the rare "meant to cross it but it went in" talent and uses it all the time  RW - Christian Bolaños (34, Saprissa) Should be old and past it but there's still some magic in him, was extremely important in the qualifying  CAM - Bryan Ruiz (32, Sporting CP) The great captain, our best player after Keylor.  Garbageman - Johan Venegas (29, Saprissa) Dumbass piece of poo poo who shouldn't be anywhere near the squad but will probably start and miss a bunch of sitters and cost us dearly, I loving hate him.  FW - Joel Campbell (25, Betis) Has been injured for a long time but even though he hasn't played and is out of form, Joelito will still do well.  ST - Marco Ureña (28, LAFC) The only actual striker we have in this squad lol, almost missed the callup because some rear end in a top hat broke his face but he will make it and play wearing a mask.  Manager - Oscar "El Machillo" Ramirez Great defensive tactician, that's why many people here don't like him because they feel entitled to win every match 5-0. If we make it out of the group it will be thanks to Keylor and to Ramirez's defensive tactics. The Group I am not optimistic about our chances but I wasn't either last time so we'll see 
Simone Poodoin fucked around with this message at 01:18 on Jun 3, 2018 |
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Jun 2, 2018 20:59
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Is this a grupo del muerte? Because it looks like one. Vamanos Ticos (hope I didn't mangle that)
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Jun 2, 2018 21:57
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It's a grupo de la muerte in the sense that Brazil are gonna definitely murder the rest of the teams hard.
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Jun 2, 2018 21:59
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This summer we are all ticos
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Jun 2, 2018 22:03
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grupo de la muertovski
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Jun 2, 2018 22:03
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Man o man its this time of the year! Time to get in business. Also yes Brazil will probably stramroll everyone and will leave us to fight the good fight for the second place. The lads know they’ll have to outperform themselves from last WC so the psychological pressure is high. Interesting facts: - This will be the third time we face Brazil in a WC match. Last two games were 1-0 and 5-2 to Brazil, and they were pretty intense marches (at lesst for us) - Our “friendly match curse” has been lifted, which means we wont be as good as we usually are in the WC. Allow me to explain: if Costa Rica’s doesn’t win any of its pre-WC friendly matches, we’re bound to do good in the WC; if we manage to win at least one, it’s not going to be pretty. We’d like to thank Scotland for loving us up. - Remeber Junior Diaz from last World Cup? Remember how Drogadon hated him with a passion? Multiply that hatred x20 and thats how he feels about Johan Venegas.
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Jun 2, 2018 22:18
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Whats the deal with Ian Smith/Rod Wallace/Joel Campbell? Is there a historic British immigrant community in Costa Rica?
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Jun 2, 2018 22:59
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SandersPacheco posted:
And Junior ended up doing well and the only good cross he has done in his life was the assist for the goal against Italy. Blue Star Error posted:Whats the deal with Ian Smith/Rod Wallace/Joel Campbell? Is there a historic British immigrant community in Costa Rica? Not British. The eastern province, Limón, has a big Afro-Caribbean population and culture. Many """"""""white"""""""" ticos are racist shits and only respect Afro-Caribbean ticos when they're good at football though. Right now we have a black vice president and the racist comments about her are really disheartening and disgusting. Just so I don't end this reply on a sad note, have some cool calypso from Limón https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xf7NP4lRvc8
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Jun 2, 2018 23:32
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i like that the player named Borges is really clever and intelligent and cool
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Jun 3, 2018 00:03
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I still remember Ruiz and the rest as the cool underdogs of 2014. Hopefully both you and Switzerland go through after putting 7 goals past Brazil each
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Jun 3, 2018 00:59
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How would you compare Ramirez to Pinto. Pinto was a solid manager, if overly defensive, and Ramirez seems to be the exact same guy?
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Jun 3, 2018 02:07
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Ramirez was a very successful coach at the club level and he made it to the world cup on his first run as head coach, that's pretty good. He is very similar to Pinto, even when it comes to public opinion about him. Before Brazil, people thought the same about Pinto as they do about Machillo now: too defensive, not good enough, always calls up his preferred players as opposed to others who deserve it more. Of course after Brazil everyone forgot that and made him into a god even though he left the team with controversy because he was an rear end in a top hat tyrant megalomaniac. People still want him back even though his run with Honduras was less than stellar. In the end how Ramirez is remembered will depend on what happens in Russia, but he has been a successful coach in my opinion.
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Jun 3, 2018 02:20
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I'm convinced that Venegas has some dirt on Machillo and that's why he plays. https://twitter.com/fedefutbolcrc/status/1003309234166095872
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Jun 3, 2018 17:33
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Can you smoke weed in costa rica
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Jun 3, 2018 17:55
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Growing and selling is still illegal but consumption is decriminalized. It's also not illegal to carry a "small dose" but rear end in a top hat cops get to decide what a "small dose" is when they frisk you and steal it from you to smoke it themselves later.
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Jun 3, 2018 17:59
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Bryan Ruiz (and to a lesser extent Azofeifa) is a club legend for my team, so I'll cheer for Costa Rica in group E op
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Jun 3, 2018 20:06
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Belgium better kick our asses in the upcoming friendly, otherwise these guys are gonna be all cocky and overconfident in the group stages.
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Jun 3, 2018 20:19
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Here to support los ticos. They won me over in 2014 and I have actually set foot in the country. Let's hope we don't get crushed and make it to at least round 16. Pura vida.
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Jun 14, 2018 22:57
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Matarrita suffered a muscle injury and will miss the cup, Kenner Gutierrez is joining the squad to replace him
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Jun 15, 2018 00:06
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Why is costa rican food so drat bland
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Jun 15, 2018 05:51
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one of my favorite memories from last WC was the game against Greece where after Costa Rica was down a man and greece equalized, they turtled up to preserve the score and make it to penalties. this left poor joel campbell as the lone attacker and he did what he could against like four greek guys by himself just battling the ball down the field to give the defense a rest. He was so exhausted that during PKs he did the thing where you fake one way and lazily kick it the other but still got it past the keeper i also enjoyed the OP of last WC's thread getting really drunk in the streets of wherever he lived and liveposting about it
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Jun 15, 2018 19:28
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African AIDS cum posted:Why is costa rican food so drat bland no idea, most of it is blandified versions of better dishes from other central american countries anyway, the food on the caribbean coast is different and better Johnny Five-Jaces posted:i also enjoyed the OP of last WC's thread getting really drunk in the streets of wherever he lived and liveposting about it lol that was me and it owned
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Jun 15, 2018 19:34
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I’m doing all the cheers for Arsenal legend Joel “Goal” Campbell
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Jun 15, 2018 19:46
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Simone Poodoin posted:no idea, most of it is blandified versions of better dishes from other central american countries anyway, the food on the caribbean coast is different and better I for one enjoy its 'rustic simplicity'
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Jun 16, 2018 01:33
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Simone Poodoin posted:no idea, most of it is blandified versions of better dishes from other central american countries anyway, the food on the caribbean coast is different and better Is that why you think you're more European? Bland food?
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Jun 16, 2018 03:07
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lol I never thought about it this way but it makes a lot of sense
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Jun 16, 2018 03:18
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Getting in on the ground floor boys, tico in Europe here. My ex is from Serbia so I'm getting loving blasted tomorrow to forget one way or the other! machillo pls let us win
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Jun 16, 2018 16:51
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In this bizarro World Cup anything can happen so I'm allowing myself to believe that we're not going to lose 7-0 despite Keylor having 69 saves.
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Jun 22, 2018 00:45
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Bobby Digital posted:I’m doing all the cheers for Arsenal legend Joel “Goal” Campbell In England gaol is pronounced jail so I'm going to assume goal is pronounced joel and call him Goal Campbell from now on.
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Jun 22, 2018 00:47
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Last time we faced Brazil in the cup https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jjgDHbzWdQ
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Jun 22, 2018 05:28
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Time to pack it in?
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Jun 22, 2018 14:51
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I still love the beautiful nation of Costa Rica and all of the posting pals it contains even if they are filthy juventini.
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Jun 22, 2018 15:01
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Gigi Galli posted:I still love the beautiful nation of Costa Rica and all of the posting pals it contains even if they are filthy juventini. Mods?!
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Jun 22, 2018 15:10
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mods please rename me I WISH NEYMAR WOULD BREAK BOTH HIS LEGS ON A FREAK SELFIE ACCIDENT
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Jun 22, 2018 16:11
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I really like Navas and Bolaños and Bryan Ruiz and Joel Campbell and I rooted so loving much for (and was thoroughly entertained by) you guys in the last World Cup so on behalf of my country I gotta say I'm sorry for Neymar 
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Jun 22, 2018 16:16
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Mystic Stylez posted:I really like Navas and Bolaños and Bryan Ruiz and Joel Campbell and I rooted so loving much for you guys in the last World Cup so on behalf of my country I gotta say I'm sorry for Neymar I really like Brasil, my parents met while in school there so I kinda owe my existence to your country, but as long as Neymar is in the squad your team makes me physically sick
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Jun 22, 2018 16:19
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