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Goons looking for love is hillarious. Want a woman? Take your anime expectations and throw them out the window. Then get a job, don’t be creepy and you’ll be the kinda man a woman actually wants to be with.
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Jul 9, 2018 22:11
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Richard Cabeza posted:Goons looking for love is hillarious. Want a woman? Take your anime expectations and throw them out the window. Then get a job, don’t be creepy and you’ll be the kinda man a woman actually wants to be with.
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Jul 9, 2018 22:17
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Smile
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Jul 9, 2018 22:18
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I'd like to touch a boobies before I die
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Jul 9, 2018 23:17
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Lowtax posted:I'm such a dreamboat I've been married twice. To ANIME I believe they prefer to be called "asian-american", 'Taxmam
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Jul 9, 2018 23:18
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I'd like to have sex with a beautiful animal *everybody boos* ok ok a woman jesus christ
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Jul 9, 2018 23:25
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1. Pet a pallas cat 2. Scritch all the birds 3. Be just hella tall for a couple days
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Jul 9, 2018 23:34
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Why make a bucket list when you're immortal like I am? I know I'm not supposed to talk about it, but this is something awful. It's okay.
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Jul 9, 2018 23:43
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Stop bogarting the eternal life, rear end in a top hat 
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Jul 9, 2018 23:49
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Fluffy Bunnies posted:Why make a bucket list when you're immortal like I am? I know I'm not supposed to talk about it, but this is something awful. It's okay. Because there are things you'd like to do before the heat death of the universe.
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Jul 9, 2018 23:55
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I know I've spent this whole thread advocating against it, but I really want a Mr. Bucket and I want to feed him/it Hot Wheels even though I know the danger.
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Jul 10, 2018 00:00
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Who What Now posted:I believe they prefer to be called "asian-american", 'Taxmam
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Jul 10, 2018 00:16
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Worked on a case where a guy got his probation revoked (i.e., he went to jail) for failing a drug test for cocaine. When the judge asked him why he did cocaine, he asserted that he had not intended to do coke, but that he was having sex with a girl who - unbeknownst to him ans without his consent - had poured cocaine into her vagina immediately prior to their having sex. So, long story short, I want to have sex with a woman who has just poured cocaine in her vagina.
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Jul 10, 2018 00:20
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As I take the last bite of the best steak I ever had my throat malfunctions and I choke on the loving thing. Eyes wide I jerk bolt upright and flip over the table, sending poo poo flying everywhere, clutching at my throat and turning redder than Satan’s rear end in a top hat. Sweating and making ghastly groaning noises I crash around the restaurant bouncing off tables and walls like a bull in a china shop, stopping to ram my stomach into table corners, but it is to no avail. The last of my energy is spent and I collapse to the floor twitching , belly heaving. Finally as all the horrified patrons stare I explosively death poo poo and am dead. Rigormortis freezing my clawed hands into double middle fingers.
cardiacarrest123 fucked around with this message at 01:37 on Jul 10, 2018 |
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Jul 10, 2018 01:20
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To not wake up morning having to piss, only to find it impossible to get back to sleep after. gently caress middle age.
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Jul 10, 2018 01:28
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receive a handdrawn picture of a spaceship by Lowtax
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Jul 10, 2018 01:29
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cardiacarrest123 posted:As I take the last bite of the best steak I ever had my throat malfunctions and I choke on the loving thing. Eyes wide I jerk bolt upright and flip over the table, sending shut flying everywhere, clutching at my throat and turning redder than Satan’s rear end in a top hat. Sweating and making ghastly groaning noises I crash around the restaurant bouncing off tables and walls like a bull in a china shop, stopping to ram my stomach into table corners, but it is to no avail. The last of my energy is spent and I collapse to the floor twitching , belly heaving. Finally as all the horrified patrons stare I explosively death poo poo and am dead. Rigormortis freezing my clawed hands into double middle fingers. 
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Jul 10, 2018 01:31
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1. Become millionaire. 2. Buy a condo in Hilo, Hawaii 3. Marry a nice chocolate woman or thai woman that can cook really good curry 4. Have cute asian or black babies. Win if combination.
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Jul 10, 2018 02:46
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1. Wake up not wanting to die one time before I die. List complete.
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Jul 10, 2018 05:14
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I wanna lose enough weight so I can be a professional ostrich racer
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Jul 10, 2018 05:39
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DrPossum posted:receive a handdrawn picture of a spaceship by Lowtax As well as a fabulous, bird-related prize
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Jul 10, 2018 06:29
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Lowtax posted:What are the things you eventually want to do before you die? Mine is simple: Meet Lowtax and drink beer. Oh wait ... I've already done that. Maybe gently caress a chick from Azerbaijan?
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Jul 10, 2018 06:35
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put my penis in a vagina
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Jul 10, 2018 07:15
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eat the rear end (again)
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Jul 10, 2018 07:16
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I have another request, can you put that little hog back on the upper right corner of the front page? I am dying of Pucket's toe, it is my dying wish.
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Jul 10, 2018 08:34
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I want to own a boat. A big gas-guzzling one, with bigass twin engines.
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Jul 10, 2018 08:37
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Kill italy Buy a boat Destroy another boat with my boat Have a threesome Have a foursome Pork a transexual Make something big explode Have sex with a black person Scuba diving with my girlfriend Buying new pants Keep most of my hair until at least my 40's Try steroids again Become the new Elon Musk. I will call myself Max Power Invent something sexual Live long enough for robotpeople to become real
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Jul 10, 2018 08:44
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get shot into the sun
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Jul 10, 2018 08:49
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Collapsing Farts posted:Keep most of my hair until at least my 40's
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Jul 10, 2018 08:54
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I kept my hair after the first time I tried them so I'm gonna roll the dice again
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Jul 10, 2018 08:54
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Foul Ole Ron posted:To not wake up morning having to piss, only to find it impossible to get back to sleep after. gently caress middle age. Install a urinal in your bed so you dont have to wake up all the way
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Jul 10, 2018 08:55
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Former DILF posted:Install a urinal in your bed so you dont have to wake up all the way https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imkyXiEegAg
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Jul 10, 2018 09:01
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Donät drink a lot before you got o bed you donkey
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Jul 10, 2018 09:02
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im definitely cathin up whenever it gets too onerous to wizz traditionally. Its a mans right to lay in bed all day
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Jul 10, 2018 09:04
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Collapsing Farts posted:Donät drink a lot before you got o bed you donkey But I'll loose my vital fluids and purity of essence if I don't. Think of the fluids!!
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Jul 10, 2018 09:05
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I... Lay with women, Mandrake. But I do not let them take my... Essence.
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Jul 10, 2018 09:08
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Fidget spinners were stupid. Then came eating Tide Pods. I want to live for at least 200 years, just to see exactly how stupid the trends become. I will keep a list, date and describe each trend and rate just how stupid it is. I will also keep tabs on which generation is responsible for each trend, and what previous generations think about this younger generation. And since I will be the only living Boomer, I will keep tabs on just how much future generations blame poo poo on us in the future.
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Jul 10, 2018 09:18
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genesplicer posted:Fidget spinners were stupid. Then came eating Tide Pods. I want to live for at least 200 years, just to see exactly how stupid the trends become. I will keep a list, date and describe each trend and rate just how stupid it is. I will also keep tabs on which generation is responsible for each trend, and what previous generations think about this younger generation. This is a good plan.
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Jul 10, 2018 09:27
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Why do people keep their lists in buckets? Keep it in your desk, or in a filing cabinet you can access.
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Jul 10, 2018 10:53
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genesplicer posted:And since I will be the only living Boomer, I will keep tabs on just how much future generations blame poo poo on us in the future.
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Jul 10, 2018 10:55
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