getting horny for sports

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > getting horny for sports

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City of Glompton

*watches a little minor league baseball to get worked up before hitting the gym*

# ? Jul 23, 2018 03:02

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# ? May 5, 2024 23:15

City of Glompton

I don't know Jen...he's just so intense when we're working out...it's like, he learned everything he knows from watching the Olympics. He gave me a gold medal, I mean, who does that?

# ? Jul 23, 2018 03:03

City of Glompton

Mayor Davis, you outta know that we won't support that kind of indecency in our town, no matter how much tourism money it could bring in. A triathlon, of all things. Might as well just have an all-night gym on Main Street.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 03:05

City of Glompton

Ugh you guys...Mom walked in on me doing burpees. I told her I was just looking for a lost contact, but my face was red and sweaty and my form was perfect so there's no hiding what was happening. I'm so embarrassed.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 03:12

alnilam

Thinking about sex to try to last longer at baseball

# ? Jul 23, 2018 03:21

cda: by Hand Knit

alnilam posted:

Thinking about sex to try to last longer at baseball

# ? Jul 23, 2018 03:22

City of Glompton

alnilam posted:

Thinking about sex to try to last longer at baseball

lol

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Jul 23, 2018 03:25

WindmillSlayer

alnilam posted:

Thinking about sex to try to last longer at baseball

# ? Jul 23, 2018 03:59

WindmillSlayer

combination fetish round winner: boxers

# ? Jul 23, 2018 04:00

google THIS

alnilam posted:

Thinking about sex to try to last longer at baseball

# ? Jul 23, 2018 04:06

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

parent walks in while their kid is watching espn

"i raised you better than this!"

# ? Jul 23, 2018 04:09

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

I'm just really into coordinated team ball handling.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 04:10

WindmillSlayer

[shot over a intense boxing match, an impact font explodes on-screen, accompanied by a dramatic narration]
SPORTS
[close up to the fight, a solid punch to the gut lands]
*punch noise*
MASOCHISM
[close of up one fighters chest, sweat dripping]
EXHIBITIONISM
[the larger fighter punches the poo poo out of the other guys face with a crushing one-two]
*face breaking noise*
SADISM
[the second fighter goes down, bleeding on the mat]
PUBLIC HUMILIATION!

boxing is an extremely horny sport, which is why it wins combination fetish olympics sport edition.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 04:11

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

WindmillSlayer posted:

[shot over a intense boxing match, an impact font explodes on-screen, accompanied by a dramatic narration]
SPORTS
[close up to the fight, a solid punch to the gut lands]
*punch noise*
MASOCHISM
[close of up one fighters chest, sweat dripping]
EXHIBITIONISM
[the larger fighter punches the poo poo out of the other guys face with a crushing one-two]
*face breaking noise*
SADISM
[the second fighter goes down, bleeding on the mat]
PUBLIC HUMILIATION!

boxing is an extremely horny sport, which is why it wins combination fetish olympics sport edition.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 04:14

City of Glompton

WindmillSlayer posted:

combination fetish round winner: boxers

WindmillSlayer posted:

[shot over a intense boxing match, an impact font explodes on-screen, accompanied by a dramatic narration]
SPORTS
[close up to the fight, a solid punch to the gut lands]
*punch noise*
MASOCHISM
[close of up one fighters chest, sweat dripping]
EXHIBITIONISM
[the larger fighter punches the poo poo out of the other guys face with a crushing one-two]
*face breaking noise*
SADISM
[the second fighter goes down, bleeding on the mat]
PUBLIC HUMILIATION!

boxing is an extremely horny sport, which is why it wins combination fetish olympics sport edition.

Luvcow posted:

parent walks in while their kid is watching espn

"i raised you better than this!"

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Jul 23, 2018 04:15

google THIS

Adrian! Adriaaaaaan!! Was it good for you?

# ? Jul 23, 2018 04:16

bog pixie

alnilam posted:

Thinking about sex to try to last longer at baseball

# ? Jul 23, 2018 04:16

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Joe Sports Announcer: You can either Viagra or you can jock strap!

Jim Sports Announcer: What the hell ever do you mean, Joe?

Joe: Simple. If you want to get into the sport, be a sport and you know, take a performance enhancing pill.

Jim: Ok, I get that.. but what's with the jockstrap, are you saying I should cope with my erectile dysfunction by hiding my shame behind a jockstrap???

Joe: No, Jim. I'm saying you can always be an athletic supporter...

Jim: Oh! Hey, that's true- thanks, Joe!

Joe: Any time, Limpy!

Jim: *%$@&

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Jul 23, 2018 04:20

City of Glompton

Table tennis? That's a little suggestive for an office activity, don't you think? I'm pretty sure it won't fly with HR. Maybe we can just get some strippers?

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Jul 23, 2018 04:47

google THIS

Husband: Welp, me and the boys are going to go bar hopping, get totally trashed, and I'll probably come to in a hotel room somewhere with a woman no older than our daughter before slinking home. Don't wait up!

Wife: Don't give me that bullshit! You're going bowling, aren't you?

# ? Jul 23, 2018 05:01

WindmillSlayer

we've asked a famous psychologist about people that are horny for sports. he had this to share with us.

"they're horny first for the sport - yeah he could use a hockey stick for self pleasure but being sports related isnr what this sexuality is. it's about f*"*ing sports. there is nothing sexier than being(or even watching) part of a good play. a touchdown is a touch down there, but the mental stimulation is what really does it. you'll see I've disabled sports center on the office TVs and... To put it bluntly the cleaning bills were getting too high!!"

# ? Jul 23, 2018 05:12

Macnult

alnilam posted:

Thinking about sex to try to last longer at baseball

# ? Jul 23, 2018 05:12

Macnult

google THIS posted:

Husband: Welp, me and the boys are going to go bar hopping, get totally trashed, and I'll probably come to in a hotel room somewhere with a woman no older than our daughter before slinking home. Don't wait up!

Wife: Don't give me that bullshit! You're going bowling, aren't you?

# ? Jul 23, 2018 05:13

Macnult

That thing on the rail, what'd you call it? A grind?

# ? Jul 23, 2018 05:15

Macnult

WindmillSlayer posted:

combination fetish round winner: boxers

a coach's obsession with footwork fundamentals

# ? Jul 23, 2018 05:19

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

"Making out, touching breasts, hand sex, and loving" as a cute little euphemism for rounding the bases in a ballgame

# ? Jul 23, 2018 07:30

Macnult

fouled soccer player getting freaky with the ground

# ? Jul 23, 2018 07:33

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Insisting on playing every backyard football game as "skins and skins."

# ? Jul 23, 2018 07:36

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Insisting on playing every backyard football game as "skins and skins."

leather v lace

# ? Jul 23, 2018 07:39

Macnult

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Insisting on playing every backyard football game as "skins and skins."

full-contact, no score because everyone wins

unless you wanna score :wink:

# ? Jul 23, 2018 07:39

Macnult

Jedrick posted:

leather v lace

# ? Jul 23, 2018 07:40

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

The leather gimp in Pulp Fiction except he's wearing full-on catcher's gear

# ? Jul 23, 2018 07:43

Twenty Four

I really don't know what to quote to say that not only are there some really great jokes here, but I also really like baseball so I don't know what to do!

# ? Jul 23, 2018 13:35

alnilam

Twenty Four posted:

I also really like baseball so I don't know what to do!

I mean who doesn't like the ol hit n run, who doesn't enjoy a bit of the ol squarebaggery, but at least try to use some euphemism, this is a SFW forum

# ? Jul 23, 2018 13:48

cda: by Hand Knit

Drink-Mix Man posted:

"Making out, touching breasts, hand sex, and loving" as a cute little euphemism for rounding the bases in a ballgame

# ? Jul 23, 2018 13:50

cda: by Hand Knit

Son, I was just about your age when my dad passed this down from his little league days. I can tell you're ready because I've noticed you practicing. Now, it won't fit right at first, but if you wear it in, it'll become a part of your body, an extension of you, just like it did for me. Son... I'm... I'm proud of you.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 13:52

cda: by Hand Knit

Treat it well, son. Lubricate it regularly and it'll always stay supple.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 14:04

cda: by Hand Knit

My kid was poking around my bedroom yesterday while I was making dinner and she found my Louisville Slugger. Thank God I managed to convince her I just use it to massage my G-spot.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 14:06

cda: by Hand Knit

Why is Cinderella bad at blowjobs

# ? Jul 23, 2018 14:12

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# ? May 5, 2024 23:15

Twenty Four

alnilam posted:

I mean who doesn't like the ol hit n run, who doesn't enjoy a bit of the ol squarebaggery, but at least try to use some euphemism, this is a SFW forum

NSFW The Pirates

# ? Jul 23, 2018 14:20

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