|
Pushing my Costco four wheel drift cart just a little too fast around the end caps full of low-priced snack nuts in gigantic containers while listening to punk on my Google Play Music subscription account through Bluetooth headphones on my inexpensive iPhone; thinking about all the leggings with skulls on them I can buy at a discount. Eating the loss- leader rotisserie chicken in line before I pay for it while wiping my hands on too many complimentary napkins while giving the stink eye to other, less edgy, Costco moms. Screaming at my kids, Kaelynne and Jaerad, to get the gently caress off the god damned swingset then buying them bat shaped fruit snacks. |
#
?
Aug 30, 2018 23:13
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 6, 2024 17:32 |
|
|
Scoffing at the minivan giveaway out front of the Costco because it's not even black with red interior like my clearly superior Honda Odyssey. Only shopping in the RED wine section because rosé is for basic bitches who can't handle their boxed wine. Stealing a block of cheese by shoving it down the front of my LuLaRoe brand leggings (no longer a rep, GOOB, check my Facebook group) to feel alive.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2018 23:17
|
|
|
*eating all the marshmallows out of a giant box of lucky charms and then stashing the rest onto a shelf in the oils and salad dressing aisle before turning to the old man who is gazing at me in horror* "what!? whatchu going to do about it old man!?"
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2018 23:41
|
|
|
|
purposely forgetting my membership card so they have to look me up in their database. eventually theyll know me by name and just forego the whole lookup process |
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2018 23:50
|
|
|
Stealing one of every flavor of eclair from the Frozen section to assemble my dessert because gently caress your rules, Costco, maybe I wanted a mixed pack
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2018 23:53
|
|
|
the costco employee offers Edgy Costco Mom a jacket to protect her from the intense cold of the walk-in freezer. Edgy Costco Mom simply gives him the finger and walks in.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2018 23:55
|
|
|
|
hold up |
|
#
?
Aug 31, 2018 00:26
|
|
|
Lizard Wizard posted:hold up *krump-walks
|
|
#
?
Aug 31, 2018 00:43
|
|
|
Pulling the fire alarm in the Costco so I can shop alone in the relative peace and siren-blaring quiet without the other, less edgy Costco moms getting in the way of my purchase of 300 pounds of pork steak for my large sons.
|
|
#
?
Aug 31, 2018 01:31
|
|
|
Trying on the Costco bras and underwear in the middle of the aisle without giving a drat about changing rooms or etiquette.
|
|
#
?
Aug 31, 2018 01:32
|
|
|
Teaching my kids how to scam a free soft pretzel out of the Costco food court guy while buying their chicken bakes.
|
|
#
?
Aug 31, 2018 01:33
|
|
|
Taking free samples, but replacing them with my own home cooking to really show the fuckers who's the boss. |
|
#
?
Aug 31, 2018 02:00
|
|
|
|
wearing Kirkland logo on my minivan like a racing sponsorship. at red lights rev my engine aggressively at the car next to me while crunching a seaweed snack for energy and focus
|
|
#
?
Aug 31, 2018 02:11
|
|
|
Doing lines out of the 50 pound bags of powdered sugar, right off the shelving rails.
|
|
#
?
Aug 31, 2018 02:17
|
|
|
|
"Excuse me? Did I ask you for your suggestions" |
|
#
?
Aug 31, 2018 03:38
|
|
|
|
[kids point and laugh at casket on sale for $599] mom: “maybe we’ll buy grandma that once we find her a nicer home” |
|
#
?
Aug 31, 2018 06:32
|
|
|
|
convincing your kids that a forklift is a shopping cart for grownups |
|
#
?
Aug 31, 2018 06:33
|
|
|
grinding a bag of weed in the bulk coffee grinder |
|
#
?
Aug 31, 2018 06:44
|
|
|
Crushing a rail of my kids ritalin in the bathroom while I wait for my tire alignment. |
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2018 03:08
|
|
|
fondling the mini cucumbers in a bag and wishing i had gotten that divorce already
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2018 03:34
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I'm just here to get a hot dog, you don't need membership for that right?" *Bolts for the produce section when no one is looking*
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2018 09:27
|
|
|
|
*Burns half a gallon of gas waiting in line for 20 minutes to save 5 cents a gallon on gas*
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2018 09:28
|
|
|
Stands in front of the Lil Smokies sample cart while attendant is on break, slurping barbecue sauce directly from crockpot of assorted sausage products.
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2018 14:15
|
|
|
Stole Dr. Kirkland's prescription pad to get T3s |
|
#
?
Sep 6, 2018 09:24
|
|
|
|
hamjobs posted:
The Costco's near me are not allowed to sell alcohol and now I feel excluded. Gonna have me an 80% return rate on electronics purchases.
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2018 00:47
|
|
|
bought two gallons of kirkland brand vodka to drink in the parking lot of the whole foods while my kids get groceries then drive me home
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2018 20:12
|
|
|
|
the Kirkland brand bud is good but you have to buy like two pounds of it |
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2018 02:19
|
|
|
Manifisto posted:the Kirkland brand bud is good but you have to buy like two pounds of it pfffft that's a good weekend in Edgy Costco Mom World
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2018 03:56
|
|
|
Kirkland Kush |
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2018 04:19
|
|
|
*Hip checks the frumpy Sam's Club mom at Lakynn and McKarty's soccer game*
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2018 15:45
|
|
sig by Prof. Crocodile
BYOB spells: Mutually Assured Kindness
|
listen, pal, i don't know what you might've heard about me but my name's tammy and i fuckin OWN this costco, you hear me? i fuckin own it. i do. i come here every fuckin saturday and i have a BUSINESS account, not a REGULAR account like you pedestrian rear end motherfuckers, which means i get to come in an HOUR EARLY. have a business? no, i mean kind of, i sell plastic wrap with essential oils on it to my cousins that i get from some company in utah, but it QUALIFIES, okay? you bet your rear end, buster, that i buy those costco bags of pita chips with my tax-free discount card because i use them for my "business parties" where i "sell" people "wraps" okay? it's for business.
|
|
#
?
Sep 10, 2018 01:13
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 6, 2024 17:32 |
|
|
*small son asks if we can get the 50 pound bag of Swedish Fish* DO we LOOK like a SAMS CLUB FAMILY *angrily pointing out that the SUV we came in is 2019* ---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Sep 10, 2018 03:57
|
|
