I will answer no questions. [MOD IMPROVED]

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > I will answer no questions. [MOD IMPROVED]

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

I am authorized to answer questions for the OP. Please ask me any questions you wish to ask the OP.

# ¿ Sep 19, 2018 23:22

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 15:40

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Sudbina posted:

Why are you answering questions then?

As the OP's representative, I have prepared the following statement:

"Because I, the OP, am lazy and have poop in my hair."

Thank you.

# ¿ Sep 19, 2018 23:23

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Hustlin Floh posted:

Which hair?

We will not be releasing this information to the public at this time. However, I can tell you that the OP smells extremely bad, and he thinks that Uruguay and Paraguay are the same country.

# ¿ Sep 19, 2018 23:28

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

A question is a language exercise. During questions, a player's pieces are used to attack and capture the opponent's pieces, while supporting each other. In this way, it is possible to gain information. For instance, one might learn that the OP has many nipples, none of which are on his chest.

# ¿ Sep 19, 2018 23:31

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

lol but seriously I posted:

obviously the username is a funny funny joke but is that all the op has in common with the famous pederast michael jackson?

No, the OP also fathered children with Debbie Rowe.

# ¿ Sep 19, 2018 23:32

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

bring back old gbs posted:

u diddle thos kid?

I have advised the OP not to answer this question, but you can just tell he wants to by looking at him, right?

# ¿ Sep 19, 2018 23:53

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Honky Dong Country posted:

Why does the OP always try to lace his shoes up with linguine?

Because spaghetti won't fit through the eyelets.

# ¿ Sep 19, 2018 23:58

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Honky Dong Country posted:

Just how bad does it burn when you spray your butthole with cologne and why does the OP prefer this to wiping and regular showers?

Having conferred with my client, I can answer this in two parts:

1. Not so bad after the butt nerves die
2. Sexual reasons

# ¿ Sep 19, 2018 23:59

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Honky Dong Country posted:

How many times has the OP been arrested for approaching pedestrians while swinging his scrote back and forth and asking them for whom do the balls toll?

Twice, but the charges were dropped after OP proved in court that he has no balls.

# ¿ Sep 20, 2018 00:10

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

nextlevelstart posted:

Five seconds to realize your purpose here on the planet.
It takes 5 seconds to realize that it’s time to move.
It’s time to get down with it.
Brothers, it’s time to testify and I want to know,
Are you ready to testify?
Are you ready?

OP is clearly unprepared to testify or eat solid foods.

# ¿ Sep 20, 2018 00:10

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 15:40

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

King of Bees posted:

My cutlass does 1d6 damage and my dagger does 1d4+1. What should I use to fight this cave slime?

Dagger

# ¿ Sep 21, 2018 02:03

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > I will answer no questions. [MOD IMPROVED]