- bird.
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lying on a raft in the pacific, holding a coconut with a face carved out of it: "i should have listened to them when they told me not to marry for looks" *throwing the coconut into the deep blue sea*
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#
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Sep 27, 2018 02:21
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 9, 2024 09:28
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- bird.
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days later, lonely, as i see her drifting back into grabbing distance: "oh my god i've missed you so much what we're we even fighting about??"
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Sep 27, 2018 02:21
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- bird.
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"there's the sage advice, after the first break-up cut it off.... don't let your daily impulses dictate your relationships" the coconut stares back at me. "i'm glad we've come to a more mature understanding, i think this was a valuable lesson." *gently place in her in the water to float away*
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Sep 27, 2018 02:23
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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Years later I sip a pina colada and cry in torrents. They ask me to leave the Fudruckers.
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#
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Sep 27, 2018 02:24
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- bird.
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Years later I sip a pina colada and cry in torrents. They ask me to leave the Fudruckers.
the waitress sets a fresh coconut on my table "you're too young for me." the coconut is silent. reflecting for a moment, i say "i'm telling you, i've seen ones like you in my past and i'm dangerous." a bus-boy bumps the table and the coconut rolls towards me. "you like dangerous boys?"
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#
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Sep 27, 2018 02:58
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- Punk da Bundo
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by FactsAreUseless
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it had been 5 years since the fire took my coconut wife, who i had made with such tender care, support, and love over the course of 1 lonely summer. she was flawless, sturdy, and able to be dropped down stairs, and ridden, like a sled. was she fire proof? no. . . nobody is perfect. you know what, life is a journey, and when that girlscout asked me if i wanted to buy some samoa girlscout cookies in the parking lot of that kroger, i lost it. i'm trying not to to cry, but my bail is pretty high, but my coconut wife never shed a tear. i need to be strong, like she would have wanted.
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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#
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Sep 27, 2018 03:50
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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can... can i get this coconut to go?
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#
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Sep 27, 2018 03:53
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- Abugadu
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1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.
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When you cut a hole in a coconut, put it in the oven for a bit to warm it up, then put your dinger in there, you know what you get?
Coconut crabs!
but seriously though, this rash is p unidentifiable, what the hell is it
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#
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Sep 27, 2018 07:26
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- Punk da Bundo
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by FactsAreUseless
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*sticking a happy coconut wife , happy coconut life bumper sticker on the back of the ol van*
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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#
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Sep 27, 2018 12:08
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- artoke
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Turns out that song about putting a lime in a coconut is NOT meant to be taken as advice for spicing up various bedroom activities. I have been sleeping on the couch for a week now.
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#
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Sep 27, 2018 14:44
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- kalel
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lying on a raft in the pacific, holding a coconut with a face carved out of it: "i should have listened to them when they told me not to marry for looks" *throwing the coconut into the deep blue sea*
days later, lonely, as i see her drifting back into grabbing distance: "oh my god i've missed you so much what we're we even fighting about??"
"there's the sage advice, after the first break-up cut it off.... don't let your daily impulses dictate your relationships" the coconut stares back at me. "i'm glad we've come to a more mature understanding, i think this was a valuable lesson." *gently place in her in the water to float away*
the waitress sets a fresh coconut on my table "you're too young for me." the coconut is silent. reflecting for a moment, i say "i'm telling you, i've seen ones like you in my past and i'm dangerous." a bus-boy bumps the table and the coconut rolls towards me. "you like dangerous boys?"
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#
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Sep 27, 2018 17:56
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- kalel
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furious when my coconut son brings home "spaulding." "no son of mine will date one of... them," I say. but later that night I watch "cast away" for the thousandth time and cry myself to sleep, confused and angry. my coconut wife says nothing
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#
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Sep 27, 2018 18:23
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- lmbo calrissian
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i'm into fashion
men are my passion
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a newgrounds flash animation of a banh mi fighting a coconut
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#
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Sep 27, 2018 18:54
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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a newgrounds flash animation of a banh mi fighting a coconut
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#
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Sep 27, 2018 19:11
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- Dungeon Ecology
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#
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Sep 27, 2018 19:16
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- Drink-Mix Man
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You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.
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My coconut wife wears a little coconut bra made from flesh
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#
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Sep 27, 2018 21:17
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- vanisher
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Coming home from Sprouts I open the door and my coconut wife is sitting in a chair across the room.
"Honey its not what it looks like, this is a cantaloupe."
As I fumble with the bags to show her a can of coconut water falls out and rolls towards her.
"I didnt want you to find out like this"
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#
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Sep 27, 2018 22:27
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- vanisher
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Coming home from Sprouts I open the door and my coconut wife is sitting in a chair across the room.
"Honey its not what it looks like, this is a cantaloupe."
As I fumble with the bags to show her a can of coconut water falls out and rolls towards her.
"I didnt want you to find out like this"
Missed a great "cant elope" joke right here.
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#
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Sep 27, 2018 22:29
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- lmbo calrissian
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i'm into fashion
men are my passion
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her coconuts (coconut's coconuts) were so juicy
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#
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Sep 28, 2018 01:13
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- bird.
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Please spoiler tag NSFW images ty
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#
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Sep 28, 2018 01:22
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- bird.
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furious when my coconut son brings home "spaulding." "no son of mine will date one of... them," I say. but later that night I watch "cast away" for the thousandth time and cry myself to sleep, confused and angry. my coconut wife says nothing
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#
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Sep 28, 2018 01:27
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- bird.
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Day 797, to my dearest departed,
I miss you. I miss the way you used to comb over the follicles of your frizzy brown hair. I miss the way you looked back at me when I was looking at you. I haven't found anyone that I could talk to you like the way I used to you... You remember those times?... back on that sparse and sand-set desert island beach... I feel like we really connected, like you were the only one who could really listen to me. I know you are gone now, returned to the lonely ocean, and that really this letter is to myself... but it feels good to write it. I feel like I'm writing to the image of your spirit, and in this way you live on. Like the shavings on a german-chocolate cake.
Love always,
B
bird. fucked around with this message at 03:39 on Sep 28, 2018
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#
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Sep 28, 2018 03:30
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- google THIS
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Hot girl: So what are you doing this weekend?
Me: (beans her with a coconut) Sorry, she's a little jealous.
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#
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Sep 28, 2018 12:50
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- google THIS
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Principal: In light of your child's recent behavior, we have no choice but to—
Me: (beaning him with a coconut) Don't talk about her little angel that way.
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#
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Sep 28, 2018 12:54
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- google THIS
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Old Lady: (peeking into our stroller) My, don't you just look scrumptious!
Me: (hitting her repeatedly with a coconut) That's their word. You can't use it.
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#
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Sep 28, 2018 12:57
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- google THIS
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Me: What? I mean... (pulls the doll's dress off the coconut and starts hitting myself in the head with it) No! I mean no, it doesn't make you look fat!
google THIS fucked around with this message at 13:05 on Sep 28, 2018
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#
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Sep 28, 2018 12:59
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- google THIS
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Me: (sitting on the curb next to a cop holding an ice pack over my eye as my coconut wife gets led away in handcuffs) It's not her fault. She just...needs help.
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#
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Sep 28, 2018 13:01
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- google THIS
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Radio: If you like piña coladas...
Me: (has an acute PTSD attack)
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#
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Sep 28, 2018 13:02
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- kalel
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Radio: If you like piña coladas...
Me: (has an acute PTSD attack)
Lol
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#
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Sep 28, 2018 16:04
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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#
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Sep 28, 2018 16:14
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- vanisher
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(Carefully putting my walnut with googley eyes into a very small carseat)
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#
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Sep 28, 2018 17:15
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- google THIS
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Walking around in public with a body pillow with a drawing of a sexy coconut on it.
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#
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Sep 28, 2018 19:27
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- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 9, 2024 09:28
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#
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Sep 27, 2018 02:21
