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Three weeks ago, I brought my dog Bingo to work. This loving mutt. Now, he's the fax king and getting all the good vibes from the C suite. For the last week I've been neging him to seed doubt. I'll say things like, "adequate boy", and instead of giving him those biscuits after doing a trick, I've been giving him broccoli and telling him he needs to lose some weight. I figure the next stage will be intercepting his emails and misspelling his name on all incoming emails to mess with his self worth. The goal is to make him make social and technical miscues in a state of depression. Please help me with ideas on how to gain office status. thank you, -desperate |
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Sep 28, 2018 01:43
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| # ? May 3, 2024 07:03 |
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considering going with "Bungo" on the misspell strategy |
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Sep 28, 2018 01:45
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spread nasty rumors that his gf is NOT a bitch |
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Sep 28, 2018 01:47
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Spread a rumor that he humps his OWN leg |
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Sep 28, 2018 02:09
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list him on petfinder.com and leave the screen open for him to see
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Sep 28, 2018 04:18
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Tether a line around his neck and lead him about in the grassy area outside of the offices with windows in order to shame him publicly.
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Sep 28, 2018 07:43
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Talk loudly about how he eats cat poo poo out of the litterbox and when he comes around the corner, just be like "oh heyyyy Bungo."
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Sep 28, 2018 15:23
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Put a slice of bologna on his face and yell at him sternly "no!" every time he goes to eat it
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Sep 28, 2018 17:57
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Splatmaster posted:Put a slice of bologna on his face and yell at him sternly "no!" every time he goes to eat it |
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Sep 28, 2018 20:08
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don't listen to these fools op. what you need to do is bring in a second dog. just lavish him with attention and pay no attention to your other dog. then when the first dog comes to you begging... now get this... you bring in a third dog |
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Sep 28, 2018 20:22
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just fill the whole office with high performing dogs, edge out the human employees, and rake in those referral bonuses baby |
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Sep 28, 2018 20:23
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Bingo burying his finances in the backyard. |
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Sep 28, 2018 20:32
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buy a roomba and constantly give it treats to vacuum up
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Sep 28, 2018 20:35
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Manifisto posted:buy a roomba and constantly give it treats to vacuum up https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Sep 28, 2018 22:08
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Chew up an important report from your other coworkers desk and leave a trail of shreds into your dogs office where tge rest of the report is all torn abd saliva soaked warning do NOT get caught in the act on this one |
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Sep 29, 2018 00:48
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SciFiDownBeat posted:don't listen to these fools op. what you need to do is bring in a second dog. just lavish him with attention and pay no attention to your other dog. then when the first dog comes to you begging... now get this... you bring in a third dog I mean this sounds pretty solid.
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Sep 29, 2018 13:48
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Tell everyone he has a drinking problem and that everyone has to keep the toilet lids down now
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Sep 29, 2018 15:09
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tell him the jerk store called and they're running out of him |
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Sep 29, 2018 22:34
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Leave a trail of ripped up baby carrot bags (the little packs your boss really likes and brings every week for lunch) from the fridge to your dog's desk and then go tell the boss there's a lunch thief.
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Sep 30, 2018 03:02
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knock the trash over and spread some of the contents around on the floor and say he did it
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Sep 30, 2018 13:40
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Yell "SQUIRREL!" in the middle of his financial projections slide |
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Sep 30, 2018 15:13
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albany academy posted:Yell "SQUIRREL!" in the middle of his financial projections slide
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Sep 30, 2018 21:18
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rump buttman posted:considering going with "Bungo" on the misspell strategy "how's it spelled again? *clap, clap* N G O, right?" |
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Oct 2, 2018 03:50
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you should mark territory around the office so that when he gets caught remarking it the CEO hoots through a paper towel tube at him and makes him bark real loud
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Oct 2, 2018 17:04
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so it goes. I was making headway until he devistated me with a power move I don't know how I didn't see coming. I was there, talking with Sally and Hank from accounting and he started HUMPING MY LEG. He just flung his tie over his shoulder and pounded my shins worse than rec league soccer. I tried to kick him off but but he's a weiner dog and has a very strong upper body, plus the short legs really lock in the leverage. Later, I walked in on Hank giving Bungo a belt buckle for a clean 8 seconds. Sally won't even make eye contact with me. I've got my yearly review in two weeks, and Im not sure where to take this duel. -super desperate |
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Oct 3, 2018 04:50
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| # ? May 3, 2024 07:03 |
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You need to bring out the big guns. You need to get a puppy and a kitten. Have em on your shoulders at all times. Tell everyone that Bingo adopted them and then abandoned them. |
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Oct 6, 2018 00:40
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