Plain, Factual, and Uninflected Sentences Written In 2018

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > Plain, Factual, and Uninflected Sentences Written In 2018

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ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Papa John got fired for saying the n word

# ? Oct 2, 2018 00:51

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# ? May 13, 2024 15:55

paul_soccer10: Mar 28, 2016; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

bill cosby bad man

# ? Oct 2, 2018 00:55

Homocow: Apr 24, 2007; Extremely bad poster!
DO NOT QUOTE!; Pillbug

"Black lives matter" is controversial

# ? Oct 2, 2018 02:20

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

During a campaign event, Donald Trump mocked and then sympathized with the people of Connecticut by telling them that they can' get enough for their houses to move out of state.

# ? Oct 2, 2018 02:35

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Someone broke into their neighbor's home, murdered them, and is unlikely to face any charges.

# ? Oct 2, 2018 02:37

dads friend steve: Dec 24, 2004

Months before declaring that they fell in love with each other, the President of the United States regularly took to Twitter to personally insult the North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un

# ? Oct 2, 2018 02:55

Taintrunner: Apr 10, 2017; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Bernie Sanders forced the richest man in the world to give his employees a raise.

# ? Oct 2, 2018 16:24

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

But that sentence doesn't sound like it comes from an unbearable hell world

# ? Oct 2, 2018 18:01

Willie Tomg: Feb 2, 2006

When helping service an eviction notice, an FBI agent dodged a deadly hot tub before being shot by a booby trapped empty wheelchair at a 15-acre property littered with Home Alone-style traps.

# ? Oct 2, 2018 20:05

Lawman 0: Aug 17, 2010

Willie Tomg posted:

When helping service an eviction notice, an FBI agent dodged a deadly hot tub before being shot by a booby trapped empty wheelchair at a 15-acre property littered with Home Alone-style traps.

Glad I wasn't the only one who saw thsi

# ? Oct 2, 2018 20:12

Captain Billy Pissboy: Oct 25, 2005; by Nyc_Tattoo; College Slice

the epa decided that small amounts of radiation may actually be healthy

# ? Oct 3, 2018 02:44

Scrub-Niggurath: Nov 27, 2007

Willie Tomg posted:

When helping service an eviction notice, an FBI agent dodged a deadly hot tub before being shot by a booby trapped empty wheelchair at a 15-acre property littered with Home Alone-style traps.

gently caress yeah

# ? Oct 3, 2018 03:12

Segata Sanshiro: Sep 10, 2011; we can live for nothing
baby i don't care

lose me like the ocean
feel the motion

"ACAB." -kevin mcalester

# ? Oct 3, 2018 06:26

Chillgamesh: Jul 29, 2014

Willie Tomg posted:

When helping service an eviction notice, an FBI agent dodged a deadly hot tub before being shot by a booby trapped empty wheelchair at a 15-acre property littered with Home Alone-style traps.

source please

# ? Oct 3, 2018 07:34

Willie Tomg: Feb 2, 2006

Chillgamesh posted:

source please

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/fbi-agent-shot-booby-traps-house-oregon-gregory-humboldt-a8564416.html

Please try to constrain yourselves, everyone, this thread is for plain and uninflected single sentences describing things that happened this year.

# ? Oct 3, 2018 07:50

Willie Tomg: Feb 2, 2006

Rian Johnson is now convinced that the negative reaction his Star Wars movie received is a result of an active campaign of disinformation run by either the FSB or the GRU, he's not sure which.

Willie Tomg has issued a correction as of 07:54 on Oct 3, 2018

# ? Oct 3, 2018 07:51

docbeard: Jul 19, 2011

Facebook is using phone numbers provided for two-factor authentication to target advertising.

# ? Oct 3, 2018 10:57

Rogue Copter Pilot: Apr 12, 2005; a dead whale or a stove boat

ikanreed posted:

But that sentence doesn't sound like it comes from an unbearable hell world

Most of them still are not making a living wage

# ? Oct 3, 2018 11:27

Xand_Man: Mar 2, 2004; If what you say is true
Wutang might be dangerous

Willie Tomg posted:

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/fbi-agent-shot-booby-traps-house-oregon-gregory-humboldt-a8564416.html

Please try to constrain yourselves, everyone, this thread is for plain and uninflected single sentences describing things that happened this year.

The rapid rate at which scandals, gaffes and darkly comic absurdities emanate from the American government causes a subjective time dilation effect because human perception of time is based on our recollection of memorable events.

# ? Oct 3, 2018 12:07

Lawman 0: Aug 17, 2010

The president is a tax fraudster

# ? Oct 3, 2018 12:12

Slamhound: Mar 27, 2010

Detractors of a high school boy who survived a school shooting, masturbate to a photoshopped image of him as a girl.

# ? Oct 3, 2018 12:52

Lawman 0: Aug 17, 2010

Slamhound posted:

Detractors of a high school boy who survived a school shooting, masturbate to a photoshopped image of him as a girl.

Also they made images of other school shooters as girls

# ? Oct 3, 2018 12:55

Slamhound: Mar 27, 2010

A Supreme Court nominee denied accusations of rape while his supporters claimed it happened but was no big deal because all boys do it.

# ? Oct 3, 2018 12:58

Ramrod Hotshot: May 30, 2003

Donald Trump texted every mobile phone in America on October 3rd, 2018

# ? Oct 3, 2018 13:35

docbeard: Jul 19, 2011

The president of the United States openly mocked a sexual assault survivor at a campaign rally.

# ? Oct 3, 2018 13:49

Lawman 0: Aug 17, 2010

docbeard posted:

The president of the United States openly mocked a sexual assault survivor at a campaign rally.

The crowd of subhumans in attendance cheered this

# ? Oct 3, 2018 13:51

Larry Parrish: Jul 9, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Ramrod Hotshot posted:

Donald Trump texted every mobile phone in America on October 3rd, 2018

I never got his message so technically it's untrue

# ? Oct 3, 2018 14:39

crazy cloud: Nov 7, 2012; by Cyrano4747; Lipstick Apathy

That DICK! posted:

Donald trumps the president; he loves piss, his best friend is kim jong un, he throws paper towels at disaster victims for fun. his latest Supreme Court pick is the rapist villain of an 80s movie about a ski resort who said �beer o�clock� a record-breaking 69 times at his confirmation hearing. his best friends are squee and new fat mike.

the leaders of the Democratic Party are a lady that makes Dianne Feinstein look like Boudica, a man waitin for his soup to cool as the world burns and an assistant Denny�s manager that agreed to let Obama install a restraining bolt in his spine. they�re collectively 202 years old.

obama? well, he took off that fancy tan suit to reveal the black and white colors of the nWo and too sweeted Richard Branson. they�ve presumably blasted off to mars to gently caress 16 y/os and smoke cigs. oh yeah president trump - who�s gettin sued by a porn star he had his dipshit lawyer pay to keep quiet about his Toad(from Mario) dick and his great fear of sharks secret by the way - has repeatedly vowed to expand our military to include a new military branch called �Space Force.� he thinks stealth planes are invisible

so the president definitely took a bunch of money from the Russian government, because despite running on what a self-made financial genius he is the president hes a dumbass who lost so many hundreds of millions of his father�s fortune that his dads skull tried to escape his head to get away. there�s some other bullshit with Russia, a dour rube named Mueller, but it�s boring mostly. whatever. moving on.

BILL COSBY DRUGGED AND RAPED 50 WOMEN! he�s been convicted and is in jail for the rest of his life! Elon musk went from IRL iron man to getting sued for calling a guy a pedophile and stealing a drawing of a farting unicorn. the SEC sued him too, for setting Tesla stock to 420 to impress his girlfriend pop punk traitor Grimes, but he paid 40 million so that�s good. he loves rick and morty, which is bad now

nazis are back but they�re called �proud boys� now, after an Aladdin musical. modeling their lives after the noble lobster, they chant for milk and carry tiki torches and consume of �the gorilla mind.� they used to follow the pizza gate guys but now they follow some anonymous internet man known only as �Q�. these nazis do NOT jack off, and they�re very clear about this.

speaking of jacking off - Louis CK! in front of girls! but he�s gone now!...although actually I guess not cause he�s just gonna jack himself off for an unwitting unwilling audience anyway and nobody�s gonna stop him... metaphorically! also basically this for Chris Hardwick.

Hillary Clinton walked into the woods following her defeat and has only been seen on full moons since, emerging to throw rocks at Bernie Sanders window and call him a pussy. Lindsay Lohan steals immigrant children. Linda McMahons in Trumps administration, Vince McMahon is bringing back XFL as an all-white league.

the 9/11 mayors back now and he�s fuckin CRAZY dude, even like more than before. his mouth is loving gross and he�s the presidents personal lawyer now because Michael Cohen was a fake friend. trump and a bunch of saudis put their hands on the orb. Melania Trump regularly goes missing for weeks. trumps young autistic son Barron�s big-tittied elf drawings are readily available on the internet, and he�s a drat Gamer.

Ted Cruz likes step-mom porn on Twitter. conservatives are outraged at the cancellation of Roseanne, she called Michelle Obama an ape and some poo poo about dressing as Hitler, idk. she had likely grown frustrated with Michelle, who appears as a ghostly apparition above all our beds every night to look disappointed at us without ever getting more than that. radiation is good now. flint still has no water.

they�re doing a joker movie starring Jared Leto. if that�s not your thing don�t worry they�re doing a joker movie starring Joaquin Phoenix and Marc Maron. Star Wars is back and is bad but it�s just easier to say it�s good because everyone will yell at you .

the governments brought back detention camps to tackle the epidemic of children in early cognitive development not being separated from their mothers. every day some guy from your hometown dies of a fentanyl overdose, but so far , eh, you saw most of them coming. and yo check this - Kevin Spacey is GAY!

this has been the news at the top of the hour, that�s it for me today - January 20th, 2017. this is that dick, signing off

# ? Oct 3, 2018 15:36

is pepsi ok: Oct 23, 2002

Rename this thread to TrueFactsStated

# ? Oct 3, 2018 16:02

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

National policy is often established by tweet

# ? Oct 3, 2018 16:06

Poniard: Apr 3, 2011

Mike Pence hosed a horse.

# ? Oct 3, 2018 16:19

dads friend steve: Dec 24, 2004

Poniard posted:

Mike Pence hosed a horse.

Mike Pence was hosed by a horse

# ? Oct 3, 2018 16:35

docbeard: Jul 19, 2011

Larry Parrish posted:

I never got his message so technically it's untrue

I don't think it's supposed to happen for a couple hours yet.

# ? Oct 3, 2018 17:32

Homocow: Apr 24, 2007; Extremely bad poster!
DO NOT QUOTE!; Pillbug

A known war criminal is the current National Security Advisor to the President.

# ? Oct 3, 2018 20:20

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Dead Beef posted:

A known war criminal is the current National Security Advisor to the President.

Plain, factual, uninflected sentences from 2005

Plain, factual, uninflected sentences from 1997

Plain, factual, uninflected sentences from 1986

Plain, factual, uninflected sentences from 1983

Plain, factual, uninflected sentences from 1969

Like you could make the case that every national security advisor for decades is a war criminal, but these are just the unambiguous ones

# ? Oct 3, 2018 20:31

Homocow: Apr 24, 2007; Extremely bad poster!
DO NOT QUOTE!; Pillbug

About 10% of the Israeli population is older than Israel.

# ? Oct 3, 2018 20:57

Jewel Repetition: Dec 24, 2012; Ask me about Briar Rose and Chicken Chaser.

Susan Sarandon is still catching flak for her accelerationism.

# ? Oct 6, 2018 07:55

Sing Along: Feb 28, 2017; by Athanatos

Jewel Repetition posted:

Susan Sarandon is still catching flak for her accelerationism.

info please

# ? Oct 6, 2018 08:31

Jewel Repetition: Dec 24, 2012; Ask me about Briar Rose and Chicken Chaser.

Socks4Hands posted:

info please

https://twitter.com/CharlesMBlow/status/1048317472846303239

# ? Oct 6, 2018 08:37

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# ? May 13, 2024 15:55

Sing Along: Feb 28, 2017; by Athanatos

Jewel Repetition posted:

https://twitter.com/CharlesMBlow/status/1048317472846303239

wow i like her infinitely more. anybody willing to actually go full accelerationist on msnbc has my utmost respect

Edit: reminder that Chris Hayes was the one who did this: https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2018/jul/26/msnbcs-chris-hayes-fuels-outcry-describing-climate/
and in the followup interview Susan is focused entirely on climate change

Sing Along has issued a correction as of 09:40 on Oct 6, 2018

# ? Oct 6, 2018 09:31

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > Plain, Factual, and Uninflected Sentences Written In 2018

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