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 Wat is this? In 1995 Jon van Caneghem developed and released a game called Heroes of Might and Magic: a strategic quest. Set in his already wildly popular might and magic universe the turnbased strategy game was a great success. Such a great success even that in 1996 Jon had already finished work on the second installment. Heroes of Might and Magic II: The succession wars. Set 25 years after the original it follows Lord Morglins sons, Roland and Archibald Ironfist as they fight over the throne their dear departed father left behind. I have no idea what happened to their mom, but let's assume that she's dead as well. So what was changed? A lot, the graphics were greatly improved, the battlefield was increased in size, more creatures were added, more artifacts, more heroes and of course 2 completely new factions (Wizards and Necromancers). The racial inherent bonuses were replaced with an actual skill system and the hilariously broken magic system of the first was completely replaced by a more standard spell point system partially dependent on the aforementioned skills. Don't worry, we'll explain it when we get there. The game was also setting up the return of the Might & Magic franchise, that had been dormant for several years since Sword of Xeen. It even had some previews to Might & Magic VI as a secret easter egg in the main menu, showing it in all its 3D glory... well, as glorious as early 3D could be anyway. Likewise, Might & Magic VI would continue right where Heroes II canonically left. Enough talk, let's see if we can still run this thing: System Requirements: 60 MB hard drive space SVGA graphics card Microsoft compatible mouse 8MB RAM Double speed CD-ROM drive Windows 95 or DOS 5.0 or greater IBM 486 66Mhz or greater and 100% compatibles  Nope, we cannot. Fortunately Dosbox and Good Old Games have us covered. Actually I won't be playing that version, I'll be playing the version enclosed with the Heroes complete edition. Fellow goon PC Snob however will be playing the GOG version. PC Snob? Who, what, where? PC snob who you may remember from his unfinished (due to circumstances) Supreme Commander LP and contributing in the discussion of my original Heroes I LP will be joining me. While Heroes1 had only one storyline which was identical for all four lords this game actually has two distinct storylines. One for each brother, with Roland being the good storyline (Knight, Sorceress and Wizard) and Archibald being the evil side (Barbarian, Warlock and Necromancer). PC Snob will be playing the not so good Archibald, while I attempt to take care of the canonical storyline featuring the exploits of Roland. This game has some very fun cinematics, especially the opening and PC Snob has managed to rip everything from the game in excellent quality.  If you're nostalgic or have never seen them, I highly recommend watching them. In addition we'll use GIF's where we feel that they will better communicate some of the better parts of this games and we'll link to the excellent music this game has. In fact, when first launched the game's soundtrack was the real bottleneck for PCs of the time, which could handle the graphics fine, but would usually choke at the complex Opera soundtracks, courtesy of the amazing duo of composer Paul Anthony Romero and producer Rob King. They added lower-quality MIDI versions of the soundtrack as well so machines with less potent sound cards had a chance to keep up as well, but it was still a tall order. Why this game? Well, pretty much the same reasons as when I played the first. It's a fun game, it has great and varied mechanics, graphics that still look pretty nice thanks to marvelous spritework and art design as well as a sense of humor that was partially lost starting with Heroes3. It was also the first Heroes game that I or PC_Snob owned, so nostalgia helps. (PC_Snob Comment: Heroes II was actually the game that turned me into a gamer. I had played other games like DOOM, Wolfenstein 3D and stumbled my way through a confusing SimCity before, but it was just silly distractions to me. It was with Heroes II that I started to see games as something that would become a central part of me as a person. It even encouraged me to buy my first game: the original Heroes I. So this will be some great fun to me too.) Didn't this have an expansion? Why yes it did. The Price of Loyalty was an expansion pack released in 1997. Because many unsuccefull attempts have been made at LPing Heroes2 we figured we'd start small and focus on the base game first. If either of us still feels like playing this game after we're done we'll probably do it as well, but for now let's focus on the succession wars first.  Wait a minute! I'm having a deja vu! Wait! What?! Me too! It's almost like me and PC Snob Let's Played the majority of this game before some personal tragedies got in the way of finishing it. Man that last paragraph about the expansion looks pretty funny in hindsight. In all seriousness, a lot has happened, but this has been in the back of both our heads the whole time. We want to finish what we started, build a house for a grandmother and break the Heroes of Might and Magic 2 Lets Play curse even if it kills our respective moms! So since it's been so long and I'm not sure if everyone can check out the original thread, we have decided that we'll be reposting our old posts using the testpost tool from Baldurk in the post following this OP. After that we'll post some new material and slay this purple dragon! If you can check out the old thread and haven't, do yourself a favor and check out the etmology section. Awesome stuff.
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Oct 9, 2018 19:15
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Index: Original thread Reposts Update 0 LVL1 Roland update 1 update 2 Update 3 Update 4 Archibald: Mission 1 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 LVL2 Roland Preparations Update 5 Update 6 Archibald Mission 2 Part 1 Part 2 LVL3 Roland Preparations Update 7 Archibald Mission 3 preparations Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 LVL4 Roland Update 8 Update 9 Update 10 Archibald Mission 4 preparations Part 1 LVL5 Roland Preparations Roland Update 11 Archibald Preparations Archibald Part 1 Part 2 LVL6 Roland Update 12 Update 13 Archibald Preparations Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 LVL7 Roland Preparations Update 14 Archibald Part 2 Part 2.1 Part 2.2 LVL9 Roland Preparations Update 15 Update 16 LVL10 Roland Preparations Final Darth TNT fucked around with this message at 21:17 on Oct 22, 2023 |
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Oct 9, 2018 19:21
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Update 16, level 9: Corlagons Defense So it's been forever since my last update. A lot of things happened, some really bad, some pretty good but hard work and all that has been sorted out fortunately. However part of this update was written before everything started happening and so unfortunately there's a minor break in flow. I'll denote it when it happens. But for now, let's finally finish this level. Last time we saw me lose complete track of time and it's not impossible that I'm using a different date system for unrelated reasons. Week 3 day 4  Haart goes out to find the escaped hero or to attack orange, whichever comes first.  Meanwhile, Halon the perfectly average wizard decides he's strong enough to go wipe Jezebel off the map and give us a little more peace of mind.  Eliza picks up some money from the Wheeler. Week 3 day 5  That's probably nothing to be worried about.  Let's just ignore it until it goes away.  Crag meanwhile didn't like me taking his castle and is on route to get it back.  Time for an intercept course Haart! Ramming speed! Angle the deflectors!  Halon is still on his way. I haven't seen Charity in a while now, I wonder if she suicided somewhere.  Eliza actually has an army now. I just need some rangers and we're good to go. Week 3 day 6  Found her!   I win.   I think we can take him without reinforcing. Which is preferable since it means that I can spend money to fortify against Charity.  Save me Wrathmont. Hold me gently and look me in the eyes for old times sake. Tell me everything is going to be all right.  Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies.  Our armies are pretty even at least and I have the defenders advantage.  Let's just blind someone.  It's okay, I'm not panicking yet that sweat is supposed to be on my brow. We have lightning bolts and magic arrow.  So I stick magic pointy things into the flying girls and my gargoyles attack them. They're probably the most dangerous and need to be killed on my turn anyway. It was later found that this was redundant since they froze in terror. I wonder if it was related to my magic pointy thing. Charity meanwhile easily toasts my zombies.  Well no wonder. I smell artifacts in my immediate future. If I can win this.  Crackadoom! And they turn to dust. My centaurs were killed by the vampires and the halflings. The halflings and the vampires were killed by arrow towers and dwarf axes. I hope that her lightning bolt fails against my dwarves, that would swing this match to me. As it stands each lightning bolt of hers kills something on my end.  Keep doing that please. And then her zombies had their turn and she turned my dwarves into fried dwarves. After that it was her turn to start the round and she fried the battle dwarves.   And my last lightning bolt was enough on my turn to finish her weakened zombies. I had one mutant zombie left. No one should ever talk bad about them ever again. Week 3 day 7  She picked up a lot of good stuff.  That wasn't there before.  I know that she doesn't have spells since there's no way for them to have built the mage guild already. I'm not worried I have vampires.  Enjoy the dinnershow.  Eat up zombies, you've earned it.  And we're done.  Flawless.  diplomacy it is.  Corlagon is back!  Eliza is on the move. Everyone will be converging on the top castle in the coming days. Haart however will wait for a bit so green can time out and I can give him Ogre Lords. Week 4 day 1  That was quicker than I thought.  Off you go! Week 4 day 2  Back! Turn back! Week 4 day 3  Wrathmont is also going to help. He has the artifacts and some decent enough units. At worst he can hand those off. Week 4 day 4 I had Haart vacate the castle again to lure the enemy. Corlagon and the other hero swapped some units around. Week 4 day 5  I'm going to try and lure him. The AI isn't very good at planning around movement.  I'm not sure if Eliza should enter the portal.  Go and get him Haart!  We can take him easily.  Especially when he runs. Oddly this does remind me that Corlagon knows blind and ever since I beat Charity I have an anti blind pendant. I hope I can put that to good use.  Halon arrives. I'm not feeling very confident in his abilities. Week 4 day 7 So a lot of stuff happened in between, like becoming an orphan and moving house. So, between the following bit and the preceding bit there's about a years worth of hiatus thanks to me. Sorry about that. But let's finally continue.  I can't believe that I'm only just realizing that this refers to THE lord Slayer from the first game. I figured he was just sir doesn't-appear-in-this-game. I wonder how he died and why that one barbarian looks so much like him.  Like I said earlier (like sometime at the beginning of 2017 for me), I'm not very confident in Halons abilities. Fortunately, Wrathmont is here to save the day!  Wrathmont drives a hard bargain as Halon the Frog soon finds out.  Luna still exists and has taken a few key mines back from Red.  Go Wrathmont!  He's going to get it now.  So my first move is part of a brilliant plan. Either that or I was confused and thought that the vampires were selected. I may be a little out of practice. It's okay, we can totally do this. It's not like I'm facing the enemies strongest hero or anything. On the brightside, he can't blind my units. I wonder if that means that the undead can't see or if they're just mindless puppets we're sending into battle.  Huh, that defense score of his combined with the Gargoyles natural sturdyness is really slowing me down. Corlagons magic seems to consist solely out of magic arrow and blind. One of these is a lot more annoying than the other.  The gargoyles, content at neutering my POWER liches fly away to the NON POWERED liches.  This keeps happening. So annoying. Good thing Wrathmont can really cast a mean lightning bolt.  Okay, I feel like I should be able to take him out without him running away. That's why I hadn't cast my spell yet. I do 150 damage per bolt. Hydras have 75 HP, I need 2 bolts. I figure if I do one at the end of my turn I can do another on my new turn. Archers brought lunch for my vampires.   Get back here! I apparently couldn't cast another spell immediately after. Week 5 day 1  With Corlagon out of bounds for now we start our attack run. All units converge! Week 5 day 3  Eliza was actually very close to the castle as well and guess who made it back home? Let's make sure he stays there and Eliza is strong enough to block him.  Wrathmont tries to pull a fast one on Haart, like he did with Halon. However Lord Haart pulls rank and easily gets his way and the anti blind pendant I found earlier. This should be good.  In case you forgot what he looks like. We brought the vampires along for some "BLAH" superiority.  Not that we needed it, I forgot that Lord Haart had Ballistics. So his catapult immediately opens up the walls. Corlagon meanwhile demonstrates his ability to cast one other spell. Steel Skin.  But let's be real here, I just need my 64 dwarves to hit things.  The sturdiness of the trolls really shines here. The AI is basically all in on killing them despite the vampires being inside the walls.  The ogre lords perform their best He-Man impression before whacking the Hydras good. Yes, they're ignoring the zombies, after all, they're only zombies.  The catapult is totally going to wreck this place.  Haarts spell selection is rather limited as well. So I default to either bless or a pitiful 60 damage cold ray.  No more towers means that Corlagon can't one shot the self healing war trolls.  I have one more bless in me, better make it count.  Cleave!  Victory! And Corlagon explodes into artifacts: Minor scroll of knowledge Wand of Negation Endless Vial of Mercury Ice Cloack Endless Pouch of Crystal Snake Ring Pendant of Free Will Free Will my rear end, you're working for Archibald.  This looks nice. So that leaves one tiny thing.  Yes, she's still on the island cowering before my mighty yellow Lord. (2 days later)  So Eliza was the only one with something resembling an army, so she was elected to go after the stray wizard.  This bearded lady is not bad, but this should be easy. I'll just open up a can of magic whoopass.  I probably should've done something about that at some point. Maybe after making Phoenixes.  It's so much better when it keeps happening to you. She knows blind, so this could take a while.  When all you have is a bless, bless the poo poo out of everyone!  I wonder what kind of experience the swordsmen are having. They're blind, but not deaf. I don't really mind them not helping at present as ganging up on hydras is always a bad idea.  Medusas have a very small chance of causing the stone status. I keep expecting that to happen.  Blind is really getting on my nerves as everyone is blind.  Even 20 rangers are just plain good.  One and done.  Red is dead.  What he said.  A quick sneak peak for the next cinematic. Well, it took the better part of a year, but I totally made it to the last level. Join me and PCSnob next time as we prepare for the final battle! Darth TNT fucked around with this message at 21:30 on Oct 9, 2018 |
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Oct 9, 2018 19:30
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General Snob, Mission 7, Part 2, Wacky Race Last time in Colony.  On Enroth: _Compressed.jpg){kind=spacer} On Dragon Isle:  On the Valley of Kings:   The yellow dragon lord was blind-sided by a passage through the mountains that allowed Mandigal, the Alchemical Vampire, to pass through and conquer its barely-garrisoned castle. The once-great Warlock Emperor Alamar, who was aligned with the yellow dragon lord, vanished into the desert and deserted the dragon lord to its own luck. Will the orange dragon lord and his lackeys be able to avenge their kin? Will Archibald's handsome heroes capture the dragon king himself? Who knows? DAY 21   "Just about enough resources to build the cyclops' pyramids. Someone at the market must want all this mercury the Barbarians have no idea how to put to good use."  "There. The alliance with the cyclopii has been restored!" "Look at them go. Making holes in each other's chests with lasers already. Such great friends." "Great! It’s been soooo long since Thundax had had a decent challenger. Well, accounting for the fact Thundax was literally under a rock." "I’m afraid to ask what kind of challenge..." "Arm-wrestling of course! Well, that and chess. These one-eyed monsters are surprisingly clever at strategy." "The chess I can believe, but there’s no way you actually arm-wrestle with these giants." "Well, it is the natural progression, after all. It is not safe to arm-wrestle with the ogres anymore. Not safe for the ogres." "Thundax saw orange lord send his forces towards the border to our region, great warlord Snob the General! He might take Dragon Watch or Bloodreign. Or maybe split his forces and try to take both! That’s what Thundax would do." "Hopefully, we can distract them with Tsabu. I’m willing to bet his flesh is tough meat enough to give a dragon indigestion for centuries. One can only hope."DAY 22   "Nevermore" "Don’t you dare you carrion pidgeys! Say that to me again. One. More. Time!" "Oncemore. With feeling. NEVERMORE!" "I’ll have you for dinner!"  "The Great Tsabu of Terra returns to his ship to sail gloriously once more and spar with the sharkmen." "Who gave you that order? You were to stand in the way of our enemies and delay them slightly with your life! Not pretend play with fantasy creatures from your head!" "Oh, but they are real. They come from the strange world of Ash..." "Oops. Lost his scrying signal again. What a pity." "Thundax visited wise knight of the Gazebo while it was safe, but alas, the knight was unable to teach Thundax anything new, so Thundax is going back to Bloodreign to defend it from wicked warlocks."  "I’ve traded away all the resources for gold in order to hire more minotaur muscle before setting forth to explore further, great General Snob."  "This sawmill seems like a good claim for Archibald the notoriously soft-skinned. In the neck. I'm hungry again." "Away with you, blasphemers. This sawmill belongs to the Dragon King, not foreigners." "Elves? Aligned with Dragons? And cutting down trees? This is an interesting conundrum that certainly awards further inquiry..." "Who cares? Elves under dragons or under druids are just better dealt with well done. Crisp even. Let’s get back to the natural order of things, where green dragons eat dandy elves."   "Punyling vermin, you truly believe you can make the feat of felling a mountain with your little stings? The reign of the dragon king is no-more. The reign of Archibald, the edible-sized, will rise. And, speaking of edible." "Tried to protect the troops with Mass Shield, General, but the dragons shrugged it off like they do all magics. The elves took the chance to focus-fire the dragons. I don't think the lack of magical protection made them soft targets, however. No losses, General. But plenty of blood! Oh, and a sawmill with our glorious banner."  "Alas, my plan succeeded! By opening the way to the castle while pretending to take this mill, that warlock, Agar, has gone for Dragon Watch. Now that he's in the open, I'll defeat him easily." "That's way too good of a plan to have came from you. I call blind luck since Agar could have recaptured Dragon Watch if he was better at logistics." "You can tell Archibald it was your plan." "Like if I wasn't already. And it was a great plan." "General of the Snobs, seems like two warlocks from the orange lord are coming for Thundax. Thundax will retreat to Bloodreign."DAY 23  "Worry not, Thundax the Odd. The Great Tsabu of Terra has come with reinforcements!" "Good. Thundax will need unite the ogres if they are going to overthrow the chains of draconic tyranny."  "Who defies the Dragon King?" "It is I, BLAGH!  The Mandigal, wizard supreme, alchemical vampire and Archibald's mercenary." "Heresy! Who gave you permission to use my precious minotaurs, cheap-vampire-knock-off-of-a-sorcerer's-apprentice?" "Excuse me? Your minotaurs?" "Outrageous! Yes, mine! Gargoyles, sacrifice your expendable bodies to lure the fiery breath of those traitorous dragons. He doesn't deserve to use my elite minotaurs. Created to join in one body the two most powerful traits!" "Dragons really are unruly, they do not care to kill allies with their breath, it seems. Couldn't they just use their claws? BLAGH! Anyway, what traits are you talking about? The intelligence of men and the strength of bull?" "Indignity! No, it was the feet of men and the horn of bull. Your pitch is much better though... Alamar would have liked it more." "BLAGH! Two can play at that game." "Tarnation! Defeat those heretics! They'll disrupt my next experiment. Attaching magic eye-stalks and tentacles to a highly developed evil brain." "You really seem to be a master of bad ideas, Agar." "Poppycock! My minotaurs are the perfect soldiers. You became a vampire by accident, you're not one to talk." " They're strong, sure. But they're only good soldiers while you feed them enemies to defeat and sate their bloodlust. Once they're fresh out of enemies... well, I think the emotional nature of humans and the bad temper of bulls will not mix so well when they become restless and bored." "Preposterous! That's just baseless conjecture."   "Inconceivable! I must flee." "Could have run way without the farewell lightning bolt on my ogres, jerk. Oh, he left some pretty lucky dice behind! Mine!" "I already told you I won't congratulate you again, Mandigal."  "Oof! That was close. Claiming that sulfur mine was almost enough for that other draconic loyalist to reach me!" "Oh, chief General Snob, that warlock seems to have been distracted by the crystal mine. It'll buy Thundax some time."DAY 24  "The great Tsabu of Terra will borrow those cycloses from Lord Slaughter lookalike so he can visit scary haunted wreck." "That's all Thundax could recruit. Not many crystals, Thundax afraid." "The great Tsabu of Terra is proud of his brother Cyclopses and Ogres. They didn't die to ghosts. Well, they didn't die much."As always, the golden rule of facing ghosts is "take something tough and toughen it out. NEVER TAKE PEASANTS."  "Well done, Great Tsabu of Terra. Thundax can use the gold to hire more ogres before those angry draconic loyalists get to Bloodreign. Keep these ogre lords. And remember to take those pixies with you as well. Thundax knows how ogres can get pretty hungry on the sea."DAY 25  "Hmm... Arie seems to have given most of his troops to Agar. Still, he could have defeated me with magic alone while I was spent. After a night drinking the blood of virgin sorceresses on the mage's guild, I'm all filled up." "What? Since when that's an option to refill on magic in the mage's guild? I've been scammed! Oh, wait, you're talking about drinking their blood through their necks, right?" "They squirmed a little. " "That's disgusting. You're as disgusting as that Rialdo creature." "After reclaiming the sulfur mine, I'll keep myself here to block Arie if he comes in again." "The great Tsabu of Terra has landed to the north. Or is it east? I'm all lost now that I discovered the map was sideways this whole time!"DAY 26  "Thundax patrolling near the hill fort after battle master taught more ogres how to grow beyond their social strata." "This Thundax guy is really dumb. He always says non-sense gibberish meaningless words like 'social strata'."DAY 27  "The great Tsabu of Terra has claimed another sulfur mine for the king Snob." "Archibald is your king. I am but a humble general." "Humble? Could have fooled the great Tsabu of Terra. Also found more ogre food." "Help! They keep drooling at us!" "BLAGH! I've taken a bit of a detour to visit this Shrine. The kind priests taught me how to curse lots of people at once." "No, we are cursing YOU, abomination. Comes to our shrine and threatens us with rebellious dragons. Only the Dragon King can give us orders. YOU ARE CURSED!" "Yes, yes. You've taught me well." "Thundax intercepted warlock going for Dragon Watch." "Is this the traitor Arie? If you bring me his head, I'll not only stop hating you, I'll even stop cursing your name before going to sleep, Thundax." "This explains that big rock that fell on Thundax' head the other day. It really hurt a bit." "It really IS you, mate Slayer! And to think I was visiting Dragon Isle for a bit of tourism. Now I've been recruited by the big lizard the Dragon King himself (what a bewdiful beastie he is!) and now I get to meet the king of savages in the flesh! I could die a happy lad, ya I could." "Oh, that could certainly be arranged."  "First step, of course is blinding the big ogres. See? Now that these beauties are blinded we can get close to get a better look safe and sound." "What are you doing? Ogres are people, not some zoo attraction for warlocks to throw peanuts at. Thundax will not stand for it." "Cyclops pals, go and fry those goblins and hydras. Don't let them get close to the ogres." "Oh how I would SO love to show my friends a real live cyclops up close. But safety first I'm afraid. Kill any extraneous specimens with cold ray or lightning bolt to open the way. Our time is short." "Now bullmen, get close and get Arie a tissue sample from the ogres! Well done! Now we leave." "Hey, get back! Thundax has to avenge cyclops pals!" "Should've known you'd fail me. Why do I keep putting my trust on barbarians, I do not know. I told you to buy a damned spellbook on Bloodreign."DAY 28  "Since the warlock that went for the crystal mines is still lost in the pass, Thundax will visit Dragon Watch to buy a spellbook the General wants so much."   "The great Tsabu of Terra fought some angry water elementals. They killed the little fairies, but at least we made a very good soup with the remains. So I used the blessed elemental water to strengthen the hinges of my catapult. I also found an old geezer who gave the great Tsabu of Terra a working compass. This really IS the east side of the beach." "Thundax, you idiot. You left Bloodreign open for an attack! And it is Kastore, another traitor to the cause."DAY 29  "Falagar, I don't know what you're doing in this island nor do I care." "You just sold me some mercury last week, young man! We even talked at length while we negotiated." "Nor do I care. You're hired. Protect Bloodreign from Kastore will you?" "But I haven't finished researching what went wrong, oh so wrong, with the crystals of piezo..." "Oh, sorry, that sounded like a request. It was an order. Now follow it."  "The great Tsabu of Terra found a fluffy foot. It was so soft that I decided to do five thousand push-ups to celebrate. The push-ups made me so lucky that the air attacked us, but my ogres cut the air with lucky blows." "Your scrying channel is closed. Not only closed, it was blocked by powerful wards. HOW ARE YOU STILL TALKING TO ME?"  "The great Tsabu of Terra sees more air. And an ore mine with the orange dragon lord's flag being worked by ogre slaves." "No. Not even if you give us intel, real, actual intel, I will want to hear you through the scrying channels." "Also, I took the giant flail from a dead giant. It is mine now. A bit heavy, though. Could be a bit smaller. But good flail, nonetheless." "GAH! My intellect is being sapped away listening to this nonsense." "Thundax buys a spell book since it will make the general of the Snobs happy. Not sure how useful it'll be, though." "You're not supposed to throw the book at your enemies, you know." "Thundax knows that. But Thundax not exactly powerful magician. The strongest lightning bolt Thundax can conjure is still just a slightly annoying jolt. Thundax prefers to do what Thundax is good at." "Stop it. You're not going to convince me that you're smart." "Thundax is off to the desert to go look what interested Alamar so much in all this sand. And Thundax already sees Cyclops friends."DAY 30   "The great Tsabu of Terra has found some untended treasure for Snob of the Generals." "Untended? That's our treasure! We toil day and night robbing the tribute caravans for the Dragon King and you dare steal from us?" "Oh, I am so, so sorry." "So embarrassing. The great Tsabu of Terra almost took that treasure without killing its owners first, as it is right. As punishment, I'll will only do a puny 100 push-ups before sleeping tonight." "Must be before the Dragons moved in. Ancient kings from the time of the silence, maybe? Thundax not know. But if valley full of kings, it full of these king's treasure too!" "Hey, cyclopses friends. Thundax need that black pearl of yours." "Puny man, dis is our pearl. Our tribe will nevah surrender its magical power. You want it? You bettah be willing to die for it." "Not a problem for Thundax. Ogres, fall back. Let them come for us and wait for Thundax' command." "Oh, those Cyclopses are swift. Brace for it, ogres! Well done, you've made Thundax proud. Now, charge!" "Thundax believes in the lust for blood of the ogres. Have no mercy. This is life for life. The oldest form of barter." "Chief Thundax dumb, but sometimes smart. Life kills life. Ogres want more blood!" "Don't worry General Snob. Your servant is just collecting some loot he left behind when he went through the pass. For the cause. And maybe I might find a supple neck or two." "I've traded all resources for more troops as ordered, grand warlock Snob." "Then what are you waiting for, old man? Go kill that bastard who's been claiming our mines for the Dragon King. I'm tired of this insolence." "The necromancers are more respectful of their elders, you know." "They're weirdos like that. Who cares?"  "Kastore! You'll pay for your betrayal of Archibald the Pretty." "Ah, don't be like that. There are matters much, much above your simple understanding at work, old magician. You see, I'm an..." "Alien." "Excuse me?" "I know all about you blue elves. Don't go on thinking you're the only visitor from another world here in Enroth, young man. I got here through a stargate from Xeen," "Oh, is that so? Well, then. No theatrics. I must silence you for the good of my mission." "First I will take out of the equation your strongest troop." "Don't be daft, blue elf. You're not dealing with an amateur. You should've opened with a blast. I was just prepared for you to try and blind my trolls." "And I'll block you minotaurs with my ogres. They're about equal in strength. They should be tangled in there for quite a while. What is your rebuttal? It has to be a powerful spell." "Don't insult me, fossil. I'll block your precious trolls. And then I'll drive them berzerk." "Oh, is that so? With only your griffins for them to rage on against?" "No, wait. Griffins, come back. drat the ancients!"The AI is, unfortunately, really awful at selecting berzerker targets. They'll often target a creature that has no other target than the AI's creatures, effectively wasting the spell.   "Very well. I recognize when I'm defeated. Maximus, beam me out." "Oh, he is gone with a beam of light. This is new. He did leave a map behind. It is a map of trails throughout the valley of kings. What were his plans dealing with the dragons, I wonder? This is Falagar. I've defeated Kastore, General Snob." "I may have underestimated you, old man. Now go and reclaim any mines Kastore had stolen from us. Remember the ogres who are their true taskmasters." "Wasn't it 'liberators'?" "Same thing."DAY 31  "The great Tsabu of Terra has found more ogre friends in this mountain pass. They agreed to join me and train into ogre lords after I defeated every single one of them in a staring contest." "No, we have an alliance that's why they joined. Don't bother our recruits with your weirdness. And also, I've ordered you to stop using scrying channels." "Much easier for the great Tsabu of Terra to defeat the air now. Don't even need any tactics at all! Well, barely any tactics."  "Big griffin had the black pearl. It was a good fight, Thudax fell from the cave in the mountain a couple of times. Griffin had one eye like the cyclopses. But I am now victorious. And have powerful magic pearl AND a one-eyed griffin skull. Best day since Thudax was rescued from rock. My magic is now mediocre instead of pitiful. Thundax should teach ogres a bit of magic." "This is the most stupid idea I've ever heard. And that's saying something. I hear abysmally bad ideas every week."  "Thundax had ogres fill their share in an oasis. They got so happy we pressed on and found some nomad horsemen." "Hold there, this area of the valley of kings is ou... wait... stay back! AGH!"  "Thundax suppose common robbers aren't worth the diplomacy. We're not common, though. We do it in the name of King Archibald and General Snob. That makes us royal robbers and therefore arbitrarily in the right." "Horseman funny. Can't own things if dead." "BLAGH! I'm afraid I ventured too far to the south. The orange lord is taking advantage of my mistakes."DAY 32  "Can't reach Dragon Watch in time to defend it General..." "I'm not your nanny. You did what you thought was right. Except it proved to be stupid. Next time I'll keep a closer eye on you, vampire." "Captain of Dragon Watch." "I have a name." "I couldn't care less. You're a flunkie who's not good enough to lead armies in the field or grow beyond mediocrity. Just hire whatever you can with this gold and try to defend Dragon Watch... though you'll inevitably fail." "  Its Eusta..." "Don't care. Can't care. Just die already but try and at least take someone else with you." "Oh. It looks like the elementals are crazy in this part of the island because this crow is accidentally summoning them by the batch with this ring. The great Tsabu of Terra can't do much with it, but will keep it as a memento." "Lucky already! Found the castle of the Orange Dragon Lord, champion Snob." "Then siege it at once! I hope you've collected enough ogres for the task." "Thundax found an excavation full of forgotten reanimated skeletons. Felt so bad for them I allowed them to join my Glorious army. Now, at the end of this trail into the Valley of Kings, Thundax sees lots of Dragons, both living and dead, and a big sculpted sphinx. Tomorrow will ask what she is doing here."  "I'm back. And I will take my revenge on that orange mutant simpleton!"  "Hah! I've recaptured Dragon Watch! Victory and vengeance is mine and mine alone! See, Dragon King? You don't need to eat me yet."DAY 33  "BLAGH! Did someone offer himself in a platter?" "No! Get away. Let me savor my victory!" "Don't be like that. Look it at the gloomer side! One way or another, a dragon is going to be well fed today. Several dragons, in fact." "You're ruining it. You're ruining it all! I was supposed to have my revenge!"  "This was a very profitable raid, my good general! Since Vesper couldn't flee from the castle, I took every artifact the Dragon King gifted him with. Also learned quite a few things about commanding dragons and keeping them paid." "You're lucky your blunder paid off, or I'd disband you myself."The AI can be very coy about a direct engagement sometimes. Leaving a lightly defended castle open can be the perfect bait to trap that annoying hero that keeps fleeing.  "With the great Tsabu of Terra's upgraded catapult, it was easy to break down the walls and kill the snakes inside. They stood no chance."  "The great Tsabu of Terra has claimed Dragon Hill, general of the Snobs!" "Great news! Tsabu, you're not completely worthless after all!" "The great Tsabu of Terra even buy book since mage's guild so tall and mighty. But I think this is not good news." "Oh... not again."Here's Armageddon. The sore loser's favorite spell. We've already suffered from it when we tried our skeleton hordes against the Titans of the wizards.   "Be smart or be eaten? Thundax finds fair." "Nooo. You idiot better keep your mouth shut." "But Thundax know that one. If one is poor with one's time, one is wasting it."  "See? Thundax now has cool boots to walk on hot desert sand."This is the sphinx. Unlike the demon cave, which has a random result, the sphinx harks back to the RPG roots of the game and asks you a riddle. If you get it right, you get a good artifact. Wrong, you lose your hero.  "Bone guys, you've followed Thundax all this way. I need you to protect the ogres. I know you can take on your bigger friends... uh... not like that. That doesn't help much. Sorry, bone guys." "Ogres, this is the final hour. Thundax will stay with you to the end. Stand your ground against the famished dragons. Unfortunately, ogres won't get to eat these enemies if they win. But ogres will get glory of victory!" "No food? Now we real mad!" "Maybe Thundax should give that defense thing a try. Too much senseless waste of ogre lives. Also heard somewhere that dragon teeth make good luck charms. Will keep a couple dozen." "Thundax really shouldn't. Really, really shouldn't." "What are you waiting for! Ransack that geometric mausoleum. We need the gold." "But we already captured the castles of the Orange lord and the Yellow lord." "We always need more gold, you simpleton."  "Oh, well. Thundax has no choice then. Ghoulies and bloodsuckers fill this pyramid. Ogres need to kill the vampires first or else they'll keep draining your blood."  "So, what treasure did you get?" "Thundax learned not to ever enter a pyramid again. And defend his troops better." "Not what you got, you idiot. What you got for us." "Oh, there's some inscriptions in the walls about a spell to take over the minds of the weak-willed. But Thundax not know how to do all these rituals." "Blast it! That's what I get sending illiterate idiots and expecting a good result. Come back, Thundax. The Dragon King is certainly not in this section of the Valley of Kings."This is the desert pyramid. Fight a bunch of annoying undead and you get a fifth level spell. Basically the upgrade of the spell shrines you find about, but well guarded. Also, for some reason it ALWAYS has the hypnotize spell for me, easily the worst fifth level spell.   "Ergon? What in the name of the Ancients are you doing here in this dragon-infested hellhole?" "Ergon was just surveying how you taking care of Bloodreign. Also, Ergon studying to become better leader of the tribes. Learned new words, like 'surveying'. Now not that lost when other leaders talk around me. Especially when talking about me." "Would you care for a scouting job?" "Ergon finished with Bloodreign. Why not? Nice that you finally got a house for the ogres that the Dragon king didn't immediately burn." "Great! Go west of Dragon Watch and claim whatever you find on the way."DAY 34  "BLAGH! It was a good idea to hire more people, General. Now I can defend Dragon Watch better." "You just let it be recaptured. AGAIN." "Just part of the plan. It is Agar. Again. BLAGH. Last time he fled with a farewell lightning bolt. Now that he trapped in the castle, I'll be the one with the last lighter." "That better not have been a pun Mandigal. Or I swear I'll leave you bound and naked in the middle of one of these deserts surrounding us." "I'd never, General. " "Astounding! Hah! I've recruited my precious bovine warriors before you had the chance to defile their purpose! I won't be made a fool again." "You trapped yourself in a castle when I had several dragons to siege it and you're worried about my ogres? You indeed do lack basic foresight, warlock." "Fiddle-faddle! I've haven't locked myself in. I lured YOU into a trap! I won't allow my creations' purpose to be so thoroughly defiled by the likes of you. Even if I have to destroy them with you!" "You maniac. We've seem what Dragon Hill's mage's guild had to offer. You mean..." "Blood and thunder! I call down an armageddon on this castle! Perish all!" "I can't believe it. He had the last spell again! I should've finished it with meteor shower when I had the chance." "Thundax entered Shrine at the end of dune ridge and then found himself in shrine inside island. Since that lighthouse has our red banner, I think this be lighthouse Tsabu found. I'm going back to Bloodreign then to get reinforcements. Thundax' ogres done too much already."DAY 35  "Arie, you delinquent. You stop with this useless behavior right now. Or else." "You left your castle open to the taking, old mate. Come now, me beasties. The Dragon King commands us."DAY 36  "Don't be foolish boy. Surrender now. Archibald will give you another pet dragon to play with. And maybe he'll reward me with a better crystal of..." "Sorry, old geezer. But the Dragon King commands." "Wait. No! Foolish boy, don't do it!"  "Too late. I call an armageddon on this land!!! Mate!"  "That reckless brat! Oh, ancients, I don't think he survived that..." "Who cares? You won, didn't you?" "Yes. I did. But at what cost..." "At the cost of defeating the last of the Orange Dragon Lord's heroes. Since we took his castle he's got nowhere to go now. Maybe he'll ask the Dragon King for clemency, but dragons... well, they're not known for that."
The_PC_Snob fucked around with this message at 20:44 on Oct 9, 2018 |
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Oct 9, 2018 20:35
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DAY 37 "News from the great Tsabu of Terra to great warlord general Snob the not mighty!" "Is it good news? Are you mortally wounded and have no chance to survive? If not, please... break your goddamn scrying crystal and never put it back together again" "The great Tsabu of Terra can never be mortally wounded. I mean, I probably could, but I'd never allow it, so I don't see how. No, the great Tsabu of Terra saw a gang of Green Dragons northwards. Or is it eastwards?" "You're already making me regret hearing you. Regret more, that is." "They were guarding a Golden Bow, warchief. But the Great Tsabu of Terra doesn't have any orcs or trolls, so he ignored it."  "Instead the Great Tsabu of Terra went southwards, or westwards, and visited a tree in the middle of the desert, looking for Oasis. But it was just weirdly erotic tree." "You don't always have to kill, you know? Some creatures are worth talking to and getting to know. Speaking of..." "It talked nonsense about protecting oneself. Which the great Tsabu of Terra scoffed at. How are you going to get any killing done when you're busy defending?" "Ergon found crystal mine in the desert. Ogres in mine said Dragon King resides in Dragontopia deeper into desert. Hope Warchief Snob can make good use." "Raise a Red tower in Dragon Keep. I don't want to see myself behind the chromatic curve here if it gets down to it." "Of course, my liege. No-one wants to be caught with greens when you could have reds." "This is the respect we get? We've allied with you and now you replace us so easily? We are still more powerful than anything else in the land other than titans, and yet..." "And yet you're yesterday's news. Get on with the times. Or else, you're gonna get left behind."DAY 38  "General, the great Tsabu of Terra has something to report." "Begone vermin. You'll never get to the dragon kin... ack... since when are ogres so strong? Stop!" "Ten thousand push-ups!" "I am right now going to Dragon Hill to learn Armageddon just so I can cast it on top of you, wherever you are, Tsabu. What is so important to report?" "That I AM so proud right now. With such a body-health minded force of ogres, I'll kill the Dragon King with ease." "What? NO! You idiot! We are to capture the Dragon King! Blast it, Tsabu is, as always, a liability. I call all other commanders. Reach the Dragon King before Tsabu. I'll grant you... a good title this time. I'll grant you the title of Fidalgo." "Ergon already is chief of the tribes, so no need for noble titles. But while scouting in the desert, I've seem a path through the west of the dunes. Maybe someone can cut off Tsabu from here."DAY 39  "General, the Great Tsabu of Terra found a Dragon Utopia in the middle of the desert. He wonders if Dragon king is there for the slaying." "Do NOT kill the Dragon King you idiot!" "General Chief Snob, Thundax going through passage wolf-pelt guy said. So far only found gem mine and a nomad tent in the distance. Incredible how many nomads make a living under the tyrant fist of the Dragon King."DAY 40  "The great Tsabu of Terra is almost reaching the Dragon Utopia. All that stands in his way is..." "This is your last warning, vermin. Begone or else... no! This is not how it goes! Stop! Ack! Gah..." "One round... hunt... hunneth thousand push-ups!" "Is nothing! The great Tsabu of Terra will slay the foulest of beasts! How to celebrate? A hundred thousand push-ups? A hundred million? The possibilities for the great Tsabu of Terra are endless!" "Thundax will stop Tsabu's dracocide! Only need to get past a few reds..." "This not good for Thundax. A couple of Blacks are commanding this wing of Reds." "Luckily, Thundax came equipped with spellbook. Unluckily, this is the only effective spell Thundax can cast... Cyclopses, brothers! Fill with rage, for if Tsabu kills the Dragon King, this will have been all for naught!" "We are on the offensive now brothers! Show your strength!" "Waaaaaaagh! I kill you last because I like you least!"  "Thundax is victorious, but at a high cost. Too many brothers lost, again. Thundax not in a state he can stop Tsabu anymore. Maybe barbarian way needs to be changed..." "Just as expected... Anyone else? Please? Is anyone competent in this ancients-forsaken island?" "BLAGH! Good thing you asked, General. I'm tailing Tsabu, but the desert heat hasn't made it easy. And there's this group of mummies in the way." "Ugh, I hate to admit. But you're my last hope Mandigal. Stop that mad man."  "Do not trespass, mortal. We are kings of ancient times, our bodies still bound to this world by the dragon king. Begone, or suffer the curse of the dragon king!" "He he he. You know. I've always wanted to do this. I, Mandigal, call an Armageddon upon this land!"DAY 41   "The great Tsabu of Terra has reached the Dragon Utopia, General. Victory is ours!" "Tsabu, get this into your protein-saturated head: If you at all value your life, you are going to leave this Dragon City right this instant and surrender yourself to our dungeons." "Ah, the dragons have answered the great Tsabu of Terra's call for challenge! Can't turn back anymore, chief of the Snobs." "FREEDOM! TO SMASH!" "Smash the Dragons and we can workout with impunity in this land!"  "Curse you to your hundredth generation and hundredth ancestor, Tsabu. You've ruined everything." "The great Tsabu of Terra is sorry, but now he has to capture the Dragon King." "Wait? What? Why? I mean, why now you listen to me?" "Because chief of the Snobs said someone had to stop Tsabu from killing Dragon King. Since the great Tsabu of Terra was the only one within reach of the great Tsabu of Terra, it was easy, really. Besides, he wanted to know what a Fidalgo is. Oh, and Tsabu couldn't kill last of its kind." "Last of its kind? Wait, I've had a suspicion this whole time. I'm creating a dimension door to your area. If I'm correct." "DISPEL MAGIC! Hah! I knew it! The dragon king is the last of the purple dragons!" "And I'd get away with it if it wasn't for you meddling warlocks and that stupid barbarian. My venerable kind was hunted down by dragon slayers to near extinction for our beautiful purple scales. Now that I am exposed, the purple dragons are no more." "Oh, boo hoo. Stop lamenting yourself, we are not here to hunt you. We are here to secure an alliance. Your secret will be safe with me and Archibald." "Do you truly mean it, mortal? Can I trust your word?" "Sure you can. Naturally, I'll also require a monthly fee. To bribe people who might learn about you. I hope you understand."General Snob's Journal posted:To Archibald the King of Dragons The_PC_Snob fucked around with this message at 22:48 on Oct 9, 2018 |
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Oct 9, 2018 20:41
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General Snob's Journal posted:My king. I am glad to say that I am reaching near Roland's rural regions to fight on my duty to yours truly  "Finally we are leaving this fetid island and its goddamn ogre and dragon population." "Better behave, Dragon King, Ergon knows it must be demeaning to have a leash, but there's no other way. We must show we subjugated you." "Just keep your end of the bargain. You orange monkey and your purple monkey boss both." "Ergon will do what he can as chief of the tribes. You can have my word." "Hear Thundax, mighty ogres! Cunning goblins! You are all powerful in your own way... hmm... still not right tone, doggy." "Woof!" "For the troll matriarchy!" "Agh! Why, troll ladies? Why you bury Thundax again?" "You dangerous ideas. General Snob told us as much. We need keep culture safe. Also, he offered gold." "Guess Thundax go back to sleep under comfy rock now."quote:
 "The great Tsabu of Terra likes this land." "Who in the pit kicked you in the head and made ya stupid?" "The great Tsabu of Terra is pretty sure he has't been kicked in the head. Not recently. The great General of the Snobs gave this land to the great Tsabu of Terra." "Snob? Who are you talking about? Who is this one who I now have to hunt down and make a chamber pot out of his skull?" "The great Tsabu of Terra is fidalgo of Krewlod. You have to obey me! Give me ten thousand push-ups." "Fidalgo? Oh, not another bastard son. You bunch really need to learn to earn your own place the right way. Killing whoever is there and claiming it for yourselves. If you all come to me for hand-out slaughters how are you supposed to grow into capable warlords yourselves? Get him in chains, later I'll figure what to do with him." "Bound in chains? This is a new work-out technique? Very well, the great Tsabu of Terra will break these chains, whatever it takes." "I hunger for a feast. Let us find an elven village. I want fried pegasii wings."quote:
 "Come back! I will tell you a really sad story! Come on! Just try and cry a little. It doesn't hurt." "Get away from us, you creep. You severely overestimate what this alliance entails."quote:
 "So you're the vermin they left behind. Stay out of our way, mortal, and we won't need to devour you." "Oh, yes. Quite, uh... quite. I'll ask just a little favor first. Do you see this crystal?" "Crystal, what crystal? What are you... what is... happening...? What is your biding, my master?" "Eureka! It did work! It did! Wyrm, do not call me master. Call me superior being and ruler of all that slitter and crawl." "Yes, superior being and ruler of all that slitter and crawl. But we dragons do neither." "Oh, right. All that slitter and breath fire then." "As you wish, all that slitter and breath fire." "NO! You're the ones who breath fire. The other lizards are the ones who slitter." "You wish is my command, one who breath fire and lizards who slitter." "Hmm... I'll have to refine my approach. For now, you're free from my biding and you'll forget what happened." "Strange... dream. A human? In the domains of the Dragon King? Prepare to be feasted upon!" "No! Wait!"quote:
 "We could be flying instead of traveling in this very flammable vessel. Dragons don't travel on top of other things." "Oh... Ergon's afraid only you can fly, king. Barbarians aren't very keen on it. Not here in Enroth. I heard that the barbarians of Antagarich have the alliance of the Rocs and some even ride on them, but that's a very different place." "Typical humans. Can't do anything by themselves and have to create machines and subjugate other creatures to do their biding." "Our tribes try to not rely much on these things." "That's because ogres and orcs are too dumb to build these machines and tame any creature other than wolves, who are already subservient." "Ergon believes this discussion can't be won."https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmuakCBtIiU  "Well done. The dragon king is cooperating with us now, and I have him on a short leash. (aha ha ha.) They will supply extra forces for our armies and will cooperate if you encounter any in the wild. Carry on with the attack against Roland's vassals." "I am humbled to know you are satisfied with my service, Archibald the Omnipulchrum. It was no easy task, but then again, I am not easily vanquished either." "Good to know, my loyal servant. Now that the alliance is secured, I hope you are ready for your next mission. I hope you remember the intelligence I provided?" "I remember it well "Precisely right, my dear General. Precisely. My appointed warlock is about to meet with you leading the task-force I hand-picked myself. But first he'll pick the artifact of your choosing. Have you made your mind?" "Not yet, my liege. I'll give you an answer post-haste." "Good luck, my General. You are going to need every ounce of it you've got. Go with my blessing, as the one true king."Time to choose: Logistics (+10% movement on the adventure map), Power Axe of Dominion (+2 attack) or the Black Pearl (+2 knowledge and spell power)? EDIT: the high resolution maps are the work of MarkonPhoenix from Deviant Art and the sprites I've been using in the last update were datamined by Cyrus Annihilator from The Spriters Resource. The_PC_Snob fucked around with this message at 23:33 on Oct 10, 2018 |
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Oct 9, 2018 20:41
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Well this is a pleasant surprise. First the Warcraft 2 LP made a return and now this. I even remember clearing out the old thread for my bookmarks like a week ago. Movement is always good I suppose so my pick is Logistics.
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Oct 10, 2018 15:26
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Cooked Auto posted:Well this is a pleasant surprise. First the Warcraft 2 LP made a return and now this. Good to know we were missed, even if just by one person. Logistics 1. Voting closes by October 15th.
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Oct 10, 2018 22:48
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oh poo poo this thread's back, awesome.
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Oct 10, 2018 23:14
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The black pearl. More magical power, and earlier. So what it takes longer to get to places, more magic!
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Oct 10, 2018 23:40
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oh yeah, voting. black pearl so everything can burn
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Oct 11, 2018 00:27
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Logistics, always Logistics. Also, is it me or does Vori's location on that map make no sense for a frozen wasteland?
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Oct 11, 2018 00:48
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ChrisAsmadi posted:Also, is it me or does Vori's location on that map make no sense for a frozen wasteland? Magic! The_PC_Snob fucked around with this message at 01:14 on Oct 11, 2018 |
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Oct 11, 2018 01:11
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holy cow, you're all still around! Alright, well we gotta go with the black pearl because how can you say no to +2 to power AND knowledge on turn 1? Also because 
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Oct 11, 2018 02:40
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Holy crap, this thread lives again. Welcome back, both of you. I'm also voting for black pearl to start off with.
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Oct 11, 2018 04:32
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Logistics! And welcome back!
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Oct 11, 2018 04:49
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Final mission preparations:”Darth TNT, arbiter of Justice” posted:Dear Diary, And there we have it. The final mission lays before us and one final choice has to be made. Roland, being the good King that he is has given us a choice of powerful objects with which to turn the tide of battle. What awesome goods will he give me, maybe a white pearl or an endless bag of gold?   What the hell Roland! Do you even want the crown? All right, pick from the following please:  The taxlien: costs 250 every day  Hideous mask: Allows me to enter Karaoke bars and causes monsters to run away  Fizbin medal: Add a –2 to MoraleVoting closes on the 17th
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Oct 11, 2018 08:17
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"At last, the war draws to an end. My brother refuses to surrender in the face of your army, and instead sends his undead armies to continue their war against his own people. I must redirect the forces you so cleverly led to victory against general Corlagon to the defense of the people. I have decided to put Lord Haart in charge of the defense and you in charge of the attack against my brother's weakened armies. You have free access to the holdings you recently confiscated from Archibald's vassals. Use them wisely and capture my brother! Let us bring this civil war to an end!"
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Cooked Auto posted:Well this is a pleasant surprise. First the Warcraft 2 LP made a return and now this. And now you've learned a valuable lesson about keeping the flames of hope burning brightly in your heart.  I just love the voice acting on Archibalds mission briefing. That evil laugh is just so perfectly mustache twirling evil.
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Oct 11, 2018 08:21
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Considering you have carry over forces I say tax lien since that won't hurt you too much compared to the other 2
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Oct 11, 2018 15:53
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Wait what? Is this cursed artifact thing supposed to be a foreshadowing of Lord Haart betraying you in 3? . Or is these some other even more convoluted explanation? I guess take the mask just because it seems like the easiest to write jokes for.
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Oct 15, 2018 20:19
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Logistics 3 vs Black Pearl 4 The people have chosen.
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Oct 16, 2018 20:00
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Darth TNT posted:
Voting tax lien.
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Oct 17, 2018 21:46
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Guildenstern Mother posted:Wait what? Is this cursed artifact thing supposed to be a foreshadowing of Lord Haart betraying you in 3? . Or is these some other even more convoluted explanation? I really have no idea why I get all the cursed artifacts. I dig your explanation about lord Haart. Alternative explanations I can come up with: - Roland has no idea what he's doing - Roland doesn't want the crown - Archibald hacked our artifacts - The Russians did it For me it's going to be the unending Tax lien with a 2-1 win against the hideous mask. I wish I had an unending tax break artifact. To the computer!
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Oct 18, 2018 18:47
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Darth TNT posted:I really have no idea why I get all the cursed artifacts. I dig your explanation about lord Haart. He's working up to the greatest achievement of his life, getting kidnapped by devils.
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Oct 19, 2018 20:04
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Guildenstern Mother posted:He's working up to the greatest achievement of his life, getting kidnapped by devils. I'm not sure if that falls below or above making babies with 
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Oct 21, 2018 19:45
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fond memories of the various other HoMM LPs over the past decade mainly in that pointing out that Queen Catharine must have very high pain tolerance because the chaffing from her chainmail bikini must loving HURT
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Oct 22, 2018 00:08
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Its the plate armor thong that always gets me
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Oct 22, 2018 00:41
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Oh dear. I guess the succession war ended in a draw and nukes falling.
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Nov 10, 2018 17:56
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but, but that's impossible. Black Dragons are immune to Armageddon 
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Nov 10, 2018 18:01
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Hey, welcome back! Glad to see you're still doing this LP. Oh and pick the Tax Lien.
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Nov 10, 2018 21:35
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There's a reason we haven't given ourselves a schedule. I'm trying something which is taking more time as usual, which is amazing because I have less time than expected. Don't worry, this zero division will fix everything.
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Nov 10, 2018 22:06
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My problem is two fold. Problem 1 is that the map I'm playing is enormous AND covered from top to bottom in features and I'm trying to cover it well in my style without making it bog down too much. (I apparently have a style. Huh.) The second is that my country just went through a really stressful presidential election that is only going to go downhill from here. I'd never thought I'd say that, but I envy Americans right now.
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Nov 23, 2018 08:59
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in the interim between this thread and the last I had forgotten that you go well beyond just posting timgs of character portraits and the like. It's actually really cool what you do and adds a fun little bit of fluff for fans of Might and Magic. But man I cannot imagine how much extra work that requires from you to make everything.
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Nov 23, 2018 16:20
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That sure is a speed we have going here.
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Dec 17, 2018 16:10
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Darth TNT posted:That sure is a speed we have going here. We believe in you.
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Dec 17, 2018 16:16
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Darth TNT posted:That sure is a speed we have going here. Welcome to December, where time disappears in a haze of stress and obnoxiously short daylight cycles that force you to drive in the dark because the sun is down by the time you're off work.
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Dec 17, 2018 18:15
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Darth TNT posted:That sure is a speed we have going here. Hey at least you didn't take 3-4 pages between the OP and the first update this time, that's marked progress is what that is! Also gently caress December.
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Dec 18, 2018 09:30
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Holy poo poo this LP is back, it's happening!
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Dec 18, 2018 11:04
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thetruegentleman posted:Welcome to December, where time disappears in a haze of stress and obnoxiously short daylight cycles that force you to drive in the dark because the sun is down by the time you're off work.  TitanG posted:Holy poo poo this LP is back, it's happening! Yes, we're back?
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Dec 18, 2018 21:32
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| # ? May 7, 2024 07:00 |
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So glad to see this LP back - HOMMII is one of my favourite games of all time and I hope everything is going better for both you guys
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Jan 4, 2019 00:34
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