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How long does it normally take for things to sink into archives?
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Jan 23, 2019 22:05
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Darth TNT posted:How long does it normally take for things to sink into archives? I think like 6 months, but hey, at the rate of people trying to low-key shame you into updating, years in this case.
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Jan 23, 2019 22:27
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I think there's still things that are technically open that ended around 5 years ago
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Jan 24, 2019 00:08
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Those Armageddon O-faces were amazing.
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Jan 24, 2019 13:31
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bunnyofdoom posted:I think like 6 months, but hey, at the rate of people trying to low-key shame you into updating, years in this case. I'm a nerd, I'm impervious to subtleties. I finished the level and I'm writing an update.  But as I was writing and researching it occurred to me that Heroes of Might and Magic is really, really dead at the moment.  The most recent game carrying the might and magic name was this FTP mobile Gacha game. Which apparently is might and magic in name only. I wanted to try it out, but the image of a locked crate in the promo images turned me off immediately.Jon van Canagem made this totally not might and magic mobile game. And the last real heroes of might and magic game was Might & Magic Heroes VII in 2015 with an expansion in 2016. Why have the heroes games been failing? Is turn based dead? Was turn based gameplay an artifact from the past, brought on by limitations which don't exist anymore? When you think about it, heroes games are a perfect fit for mobile. Easy to pick up and play and put away whenever the train finally arrives. Yet, all we're getting are obvious F2P infested bullshit. It's really a little dissappointing considering it did seem like Ubisoft was giving it a good try, with a good sense of style. Even if the world was a bit less interesting.
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Mar 17, 2019 21:51
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I mean the XCOM games have been wildly successful, so turn based still has some steam.
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Mar 17, 2019 22:00
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Darth TNT posted:Why have the heroes games been failing? Is turn based dead? Was turn based gameplay an artifact from the past, brought on by limitations which don't exist anymore? HoMM just hasn't been able to innovate in such a way that both satisfies the core audience and still makes sufficient progress in the formula. HoMM VI had a lot of interesting ideas, but I don't think it was particularly well received by the core audience due to reduced unit/resource structure, a lot of overly tanky units, really wonky designed magic system, and a LOT of bugs and Ubisoft backpedeled so hard that they made HoMM VII which was VERY boring and samey (not to mention half-finished due to underfunding). There's still an audience out there (there were some nice HoMM V mods and I heard that there's a fan-patch that fixes a lot of the issues with HoMM VII), but two failed games in a row probably killed the series in Ubisoft's eyes. AncientSpark fucked around with this message at 04:29 on Mar 18, 2019 |
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Mar 18, 2019 04:20
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SirSamVimes posted:I mean the XCOM games have been wildly successful, so turn based still has some steam. That's right, that game had critical acclaim and supposedly good sales. That game was in 2016 with an expansion in 2017. Has any follow up been announced. Xcom is turn based, but it's closer to Jagged Alliance than to Heroes of Might and Magic. AncientSpark posted:HoMM just hasn't been able to innovate in such a way that both satisfies the core audience and still makes sufficient progress in the formula. HoMM VI had a lot of interesting ideas, but I don't think it was particularly well received by the core audience due to reduced unit/resource structure, a lot of overly tanky units, really wonky designed magic system, and a LOT of bugs and Ubisoft backpedeled so hard that they made HoMM VII which was VERY boring and samey (not to mention half-finished due to underfunding).  Where can you find good Homm 5 mods?
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Mar 18, 2019 09:21
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There's a couple mods out there, but from what I understand, a lot of them are untranslated. Still, the big one to try is Heroes 5.5, which there should be a lot of links out there. Try this thread: http://heroescommunity.com/forumdisplay.php3?FID=18 AncientSpark fucked around with this message at 15:49 on Mar 18, 2019 |
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Mar 18, 2019 15:46
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The curse of HoMM is 3 was so loving good that it effectively killed the future of the series.
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Mar 18, 2019 16:41
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Newsflash. I've written my update, I needs a little love to tweak it a little and a good looking over by my counter part, but it's pretty much done. Speaking of love, PcSnob got married this week, which is one of those things which eats up a lot of time. But woop for PcSnob! 
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May 31, 2019 12:35
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Yes! Wonderful news! Congratulations PCSnob! Looking forward to the update, gonna be fun!
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Jun 3, 2019 18:28
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congrats to PCSnob, we wish him many happy *BLAH*s on this momentous occasion
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Jun 4, 2019 00:07
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 This is us. She is mine and I am hers. I'll try to get my update done before we travel wednesday. This has been a very busy year. Scrambling to do a lot of stuff. We moved, had to get rid of a lot of stuff and then there was the marriage. After we are back, I should have more free time to get future updates out more reasonably. Hopefully. I still have 3 missions to go... and they can be very long.
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Jun 4, 2019 00:54
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Congratulations, you two make a great looking couple.
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Jun 4, 2019 08:48
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The Main reason I don't like the new Heroes games is that their setting kind of bored me the story was kind of meh. I can overlook the shoddy gameplay of stuff like the music, plot and creature design is inspired. Sadly most of that felt pretty generic or subpar in the later games.
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Jun 4, 2019 17:24
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Hey congrats Snob!
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Jun 5, 2019 01:03
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King's Bounty 2 reveal trailer  So...maybe Heroes isn't quite dead yet?
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Aug 15, 2019 08:42
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In Enroth._Compressed.jpg){kind=spacer} South Paradise Hills.    General Snob's Journal posted:
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This is an alternative way you can win this mission, if you feel overwhelmed or chose the necromancer's alliance. This is the map that shows the disparity between the two choices the most. Brother Brax, the level 5 necromancer, should be a better deal to balance it out. Either giving him a good army when you recruit him (30 skeletons, 10 zombies, 5 mummies and 3 vampires would suffice to even out the huge advantage that is to not only NOT fight enemy ogres, but having them joining you. Only one group of ogres joining is usually already much stronger than this proposed initial army). Or increasing his level to 8 or maybe even a bit higher. Or, at the very least, making him a free hire, spawning next to your main hero on missions. (Not sure the engine could handle anything other than having him higher level though). This is specially true because this map is full of ogres you can't deal with easily with the necromancer's alliance. The one true advantage is that regardless of choice of castle, you’ll always have access to necromancy and the skeleton army that accompanies it, but without an undead army you need some way to counteract the morale penalty. DAY 1    “G'day General mate Snob.” “Oh, great. You survived your own casting of armageddon.” “Sorry mate General Snob. The dragon king thought you were going to kill him. Couldn't let you kill such a bewdy, for sure.” “Wait… you're the commander Archibald assigned to me?” “In the flesh, mate.” “How did you manage to survive that? “Oh, I had a black dragon hide vest under my clothes, for sure. It didn't protect me fully, which was a shame. But it did allow me to survive, which is neato.” “Neato is not the word I'd use. Did you do anything useful while you awaited?” “Yessir, General mate. I sent a few goyles to scout the land a bit. The rural lords all allied with each other with the rumors of our arrival, it seems. Boomer. There's an abandoned sorceress castle to the east that could suit us. It belonged to Astra, but she stormed off for whatever latest slight Roland committed against her, leaving only a small garrison. Finally, I had brought some raid-acquired supplies with me that I left a day's distance to the west, but one of Roland's knights happened upon the stash on patrol. It’ll take him some time to haul it all, though.” “What? He's taking MY supplies? Go stop him at once!” “Righto, mate! But… if we lose time hunting him we may lose the window to get a foothold in the region.” “You'll manage, don't worry. Just go.” “One last thing, General mate. The black pearl… well… it is peeling off.” “WHAT?” “That cunning shrewd fox. It was just a white pearl all along. Still quite powerful, but not as advertised.”My bad for misleading all of you. I messed up. I proposed the wrong artifact in the voting on accident. Then again, it is not unlike Archibald to deceive his minions with exaggerated promises of power. So it fits.   “Take the chance to learn something from the locals with bribes from your supplies.” “Done general mate. This witch taught me how to learn spells just by witnessing them in action.”Learned eagle-eye on the off-chance of learning Lightning bolt from enemy heroes. Having an offensive spell is paramount in this map because of Knights’ troops’ ridiculously high defense (compounded by their heroes also high defense) but low hit points. DAY 2  “That bloke seems to be trying to escape, General mate.” “After stealing from me? Hunt him down.”One thing I'll say about Heroes II AI, at least it doesn't see through the fog of war. Constantly you'll see enemy heroes exploring into your explored area, bumping into a more powerful hero, and trying to escape. AIs who can see clear through the fog of war are so common this is worth noting.   “Who dares trespass into Roland's lands?” “Hey there. I'm here to claim it in the name of King Archie the Friendly.” “Pitiful! My knights of the Shining Mustache will put an end to this nonsense right now.” “You'll not block my archers. Knights of the Shining Mustache dispose of these mustache-less monsters and charge into the enemy lines!” “Sorry bloke, but you took the bait. That single gargoyle was just a feint. Go wild Goyles.” “You've defeated me, villain. But I'm just leading a patrol party. When the armies of Roland's knight lords knock on your door you won't be so lucky.” “Oh, I will be waiting for them. Let them come. DAY 3  “Now that our supplies are secured, I can climb that lookout to see what route to take.”DAY 4   “The sorceress fortress I told ya about is through that thick forest. Can't get an army through so we have to go around. It's got an ore mine and a lumber mill nearby also abandoned when Astra left. To the north it has an alchemist's lab with plenty of alchemists looking for work.”DAY 5  “Skeletons in these holy lands? Kilburn was doing a really shoddy work patrolling the border.” “Lady Astra dictates no-one can pass through.” “Astra, eh? That's interesting. Suppose she didn't leave her castle completely abandoned.” “Guess you can tell Astra her necromancy sucks if you meet her here. This pitiful force won't keep me from taking her castle.”   “That's no witch, ya dumwit.” “No, I'm not. I'm a warlock. Peasantry bore me. Nothing interesting about them. Just dung-dwellers.” “Dat's last time I believe Billy boy. Never witches. You said witches.” “Gods, I don't want a peasant infestation. Not another one. The necromancers are powerful enough as it is. Exterminate them and cremate the bones, will you Arie?” “Done and done, General mate.”DAY 6  “Just one more day, General Mate. Heard from the locals that the name of the Sorceress Castle is Pinehurst.” “Ugh. Typical Sorceress strategy. Naming their regions in a manner so stupid no-one would want to conquer them.” “So… look for somewhere else?” “Of course not! Archibald can always rename it something better after we conquer the land. Like Chillwater or Dark Eternal.”DAY 7   “Hold right there, monsters. This castle belongs to Lady Astra and no-one else. Turn around or we'll pelt you with our arrows.” “They're trying to threaten us instead of engaging us. Ye know what this means, right General mate?” “Yes, it means that they are too few to defend against us. Storm the gates!” “Wait, no. We can negotiate!” “Negotiate this, stick-legs. Gargoyles, you can feast on their little butterflies.” “Told ye noone sees an elf and says 'yep, better turn around'. drat sissies.”  “Now to store some elven blood, dwarf beard and pixie dust in a flask to improve my magic reserves.” “Speaking of, shouldn't you be able to rain doom upon them and create a dimension door right over the forest we just went around?” “Oh… right… yeah. I got a bit wee too seedy after partying from the last time I worked for ye, General mate. I’m afraid I blacked out from all my spells.” “Stop calling me that.” “This castle is now the property of Mate Archibald. Anyone who disagrees will be fed to the minotaurs. Aight?” “And as much as it pains me to say, I want a crystal glade built at once so it'll attract more sprites like moths to a flame. Gods know how, but you elves seem to be able to direct these pests into battle somehow. Seems like the basics are already covered in the castle. Only the phoenixes are lacking, but we don't have the resources to remedy that.” “The crystals shall grow. Exponentially.” “Good. Wait… don't. Do NOT let the sprite-attracting crystals to keep growing. Just enough to have a few more, not another infestation.”  “I knew SOMEONE would show up in this DUMP to make things INTERESTING.” “Wrathmont… you robbed one of my dragons last time we met.” “And we went THROUGH a great adventure together. He ATE his fill of fat bureaucrats and I STAYED very much drunk!” “Unfortunately, or fortunately, you're the only warlock in the region. I need you to go north and remind those dwarfs they ought to stay out of our way.” “They remember ABOUT our brutal genocide! I feel TOUCHED!”  “The Dwarfbane? Here? Och, we had just settled. Run lads, run for yer lives!” “What is this FEELING? Joy? Or BLISS?”DAY 8   “Nevermore. Nevermore. Nevermore!” “It was just the week of these pests when I was at Dragon Isle! What pitiful excuse for Astrologists would declare the same week so soon?”  “So, what spell does the shrine keeps? Anything useful?” “Useful? YES! USEABLE? No. Shield will protect us from RANGERS! But it is better to actually KILL them. However, this HELMET I got from some HOBO is very good at absorbing LIGHTNING. Also, the dwarves just abandoned an ore MINE to us!”This is part of the design of this map. The south part of the map is full of artifacts that empower or protects you from magic. So that your lightning bolts are more effective while the enemies are mitigated. It helps, but if you don't train your warlocks to actually take advantage of it, it is all for naught. Also, there's plenty of shrines to increase your chances of finding offensive spells. You still need to eventually find an offensive spell. And the enemy starts with access to level 5 spells (if not the wisdom to actually cast them).  Unfortunately, Pinehurst didn't provide us with any of the low level offensive spells; magic arrow, cold ray nor lightning bolt. Still, blind is certainly a lifesaver, while slow and cure can also be useful.  “Routed some short poms and found a treasure chest, General mate.” “While you need to recover more power, take the gold. I need more scouts.” “There's a graveyard to the north that could be worth exploring, but with only blind… I'd rather explore further east than risk facing a horde of hooligan zombies I can't fry and can’t be blinded.”  “Uh… I was supposed to meet lady Astra here, not the master of that monster without flesh and the dragon lord who humiliated me.” “If you're talking about Sandro, he's a traitor to the cause who's been stripped of his ranks and exiled from Archibald's lands. Then he bought his way in again and betrayed us again, becoming an exile a second time. We have no love for him and anyone who pledges their service to the one true king Archibald is welcome. Why not join the winning side?” “I was actually looking forwards to taking my revenge on that monstrosity. But if I'm being honest he left me penniless and… bereft of other things. And after losing an entire dwarf battalion to Wrathmont I was shunned again. Beggars can't be choosers and Archibald's gold is as good as Astra's I'm afraid.” “Ugh, I don't care about your life history. You're almost making me miss the treasonous lich. Take the gold and shut up.” “I've taken the liberty to visit the stonehenge to see what the druids could teach me. They've increased my powers considerably!” “What? There are MORE druids here?”While +1 spell power is very useful, taking the time to visit the stonehenge might cost you move you can't afford to with your main heroes. I might visit it later, but it will be doubtful. DAY 9   “This pass is our turf. Pay up or die, human.” “Oh, pretty goyles. I'm no human, I'm a warlock! Your master by right!” “ACK! A Jadamian. Kill him before he tries to pet us!” “Guess it can't be helped. Shame that, for sure. Guess I'll blind you and pick you apart one by one.”  “Our axes and their hides are perfectly matched. Good to have a challenge, for once!” “ Don't you dare make me love you more than I already do bullmen.” “Lost lots of horsie-men, but found another neutral town, General mate.” “I think I liked it more when you misspoke my name.” “Hey, I only call my dearest friends 'mate', mate. Looks like another sorceress town that Astra left behind.” “Ugh… more sprites. Just what we need. And I'm not your friend.”  “Make a thieves' guild and pay them to scout that town.” “Seems lightly defended. Only poms, froggies and winged sheilas. But it might be hordes of them as far as the thieves' guild knows.” “I got the sawmill for you, war criminal.” “Hey, I hate rear end-kissers. Don’t try to flatter me.”DAY 10   “Atlantium is a free town. We will not bow to the tyranny of Archibald! Agh, my eyes!” “Careful froggies, you seem to have an infestation of little winged sheilas. You've turned a blind eye to it for too long! Goyles, exterminate. Eh… should've seem that coming, they are not peasants. Bullmen, finish the job.”  “Atlantium seems to be a little light on movement. It was probably a new settlement.” “That's just my luck. It is just a sprite's nest! It is good for nothing but infestations. We better develop this into a proper fortress soon so we can contain the pests.” “Found some HORNED giants.” “We got HORNS??” “And then some FELLA told them they were LORDS! And THEY believed it. I COULD have told them that!” “You need confidence to believe. Not just lunacy.” “And then the LITTLE winged ladies flew away from me!” “We will not become ogre-snack. Such bad breath.” “ ” “What's the problem?” “That's really the design of statue the sorceresses like? A naked lady?” “Not really. But hey, we druids are the ones who shape the stone.” “That would confirm so many rumors about them. But your explanation makes sense. Not that I'm complaining... What… what are you doing under your robes?” “ Nothing…  ” “I claimed the alchemist lab. They don't seem to care to work for a tyrant.” “They’re smart then, because a tyrant also doesn’t care to kill them and raise them as zombies if they refuse. You could follow suit.”DAY 11   “Since you destroyed the gargoyles we hired to defend our shrines, we guess we should part with our knowledge if you're to take the gargoyle's place?” “The gargoyles mostly fell over dead to my bullmen. Death Wave? I like the kind of Shrines you created here.” “That's why we needed the guards. These spells are forbidden in Roland's lands.” “You'll need gems if you want to CAST real magic. Also, found PIG PEOPLE! And got more powerful after some naked MEN surrounded me at the stones.”This map is quite busy. Lots of things for heroes to uncover in every nook and cranny of the map. I'll try to be brief. DAY 12  “Girl, claim the crystal mine to the south and reclaim our supplies from Archibald and Arie's raids.” “Archibald got you all this gold? Guess evil pays.” “Yes, it pays well. When will you finally play game and join us?” “Roland IS awfully stingy about his gold...” “You druids have really strong telekinetic magic to pile those heavy stones like that in your stonehenges.” “That's the secret of the greater druids. Impressed?” “Impossible. Greater druids are not that powerful. You must have had outside help.” “(We've been had! Hide the greys!)”DAY 13  “Finally! With the supplies procured by the girl and Arie, Atlantium can have a castle built and contain the sprite infestation.” “Speaking of infestations, seems like all the losers and rejects are being drawn to this place. Vesper, what a displeasure. Came groveling to me after failing miserably to serve the dragon lords?” “Do not be conceited, General. I failed. I admit.” “And cried. That part is important.” “Anyway. I can pledge my efforts to the winning team, can't I? We've all came back to the mainland looking for work now that the Dragon King is under Archibald. So it makes sense to work for the one my old boss is working for, no?” “You're lucky I need more hooves on the ground. Hooves that don't come with more sprites attached. You're hired. Your first task is to haul those piles of stones to the north back here to Pinehurst.” “That's not a task worthy of a warlock of my name! This is an outra… *sigh* I guess I must climb from the bottom. Very well, so be it.” “Sure, sure. You'll climb a lot. I'll make sure of it.”DAY 14  “Now, containing isn't enough. We need to keep the population in check. Build an archery range for the elves in Atlantium and offer a bounty for sprite wings.” “You could just employ the sprites, you know?” “Yes… sure. I will. But you have to be responsible about pets. So… how feasible would a castration program be?” “Not much. Sprites don't reproduce sexually. Nor do they have genitals.” “What? Why do they have such huge ti… breasts then?” “That's just a case of pareidolia. You're human. You look at something that looks human-ish and assume its traits are the same as yours. Truth be told, if you look really close with an unbiased mind, a sprite looks more like an insect with human traits than a human with insect traits. But you confuse its traits for human ones. Sprites don't have breasts. Just segmented bodies that...” “Lost my interest. So they are bugs and ought to be burned because we can't keep them from reproducing in a civilized way. No problem for me.”DAY 15  “More ogres. This is it. This is proof. My life is cursed.” “What's the problem with the fat boogeys? I just recruited some. Wasn't this the reason we were force-feeding short poms to our dragons?” “It's all good while they don't get any ideas.” “Say, what happened to that fella that looked like Lord Slayer?” “Started to give them ideas.” “Huh, the poms on the other side of the ridge ran screaming once I joined with the ogres from our side.” “They'd have ran anyway from my banner, you dolt. Thanks to your actions I am the Dwarfsbane now. You can make a legion of dwarves run from a peasant if you want to, just by showing my banner. Well, I think. Haven't actually tried yet. A peasant might actually be too much. It'd be funny though.” “Oh, lookie there. Another sorceress town.” “Astra was really busy here. My spies tell me it should be the town of… Middle Gate? Must mark the real entrance into Roland's lands. They say it is supposed to be moderately defended. Crush them.”  “Finally, an attack spell. Even though it is just magic arrow it is better than nothing.”Better than nothing is a really low bar, but we really need an offensive spell for this map. DAY 16   “Moderately defended might have been overselling it General mate.” “You're trespassing into King Roland's lan…  ” “Some elves, some druids. Nothing a few blind curses couldn't solve.” “You'll never FIND out what I found to the northwest! Another FALCOR!” “Whether or not we are crossing our objectives, pinkling, you are not going to call us that. We've been tricked into guarding this settlement of butterfly-winged nuisances. The excuse to forgo this task is one we welcome, but within limits.” “Then what GOOD are you if fickle LIKE that? I've fed OTHERS who behaved like that to the bundle of snakes!” “Perhaps with THE right incentive?” “Skittles? For us? We misjudged you, mortal, you might not be completely useless.” “We really ought to expect better from our guardian dragons!” “We were just waiting for an excuse to feast on you little pests.” “Where DID the butterladies come from?”  “Why is it no matter where I go, I can't find Alamar but always end up...” “Working for me? Because Alamar is old news. Accept the new trends, old man. Archibald is going to be the new Warlock emperor. Though right now I do need more minions. Go, take these unicorns and sacrifice them to the haunted mine to the southwest of this region. That girl said she got all the gold outside but that the mine was full of ghosts. Maybe if we offer the right sacrifice they'll leave the mine to us. If not, try and dispose of the ghosts with the Unicorns. If you fail… well, it won't be my problem.” “Humph. Alamar treated his subjects...” “Like a tyrant warlock. Just like he was supposed to. Now stop whining.”DAY 17   “We are the Knight Champions of Kilburn. Halt and state your purpose!” “My purpose? To burn this land to a crisp with a horde of Dragons for sure. Though king Archie might want to just plunder and conquer instead of razing. Bloke's a softie like that.” “Enemies of Roland are forbidden in these lands! You'll rot in our cages. Charge! Spread and flank!” “Flank? Flank with what, mate? Since your central formation is now blind and lost like a troglodyte on the surface? Also, you lost your right flank.” “Blasphemous wretch! We are not defeated yet!” “I'm afraid you are, mate. And you're so hopeless, I'll leave my pretty goyles to finish you off.” “You villain!” “This is far TOO powerful a trinket. How DID this witch die to the butterladies?” “She took pity on the pests. That's the first mistake everyone does.” “You KNOW what? I think I WON'T feed the butterladies to the dragons.” “You too have taken pity on the creatures, warlock? Have you too succumbed to the fatal mistake?” “PITY? I just rather USE them as distraction so you can kill MY enemies while the butterladies DIE!” “Hmm… we suppose we could always just feast on the skittles after they've been perforated by our enemies and save ourselves some wounds. Good thinking. This is the trait of a good leader, warlock.” “ ” “Good for whom?” “Sorry to bother you, noble spirit of the forest. But my employer needs some riches.” “Lit me gang ye stinky gantin hag. Ye hink yoo've won? I'll skull buck yer sool wi' mah shillelagh th' moment ye lit yer guard doon.” “Did you call me a hag?” “An' 'en some!” “Listen here you insufferable excuse for a kicking practice object! Give me your stuff or I'm gonna break both your legs, rip them off, and stick them up your butt!” “Whit a violent quine! Ah hink aam in loove. ” “I am on an anointed mission to rescue the Dragon King from Archibald's clutches. Do you have anything to help me on my quest?” “Dragons, tyrants. One eats the people, the other crushes them. What difference does it make? Here, take this. It will protect from curses. And warlocks like Archibald are guarantee to be cursing their enemies.”DAY 18  “Booooring. Titans are man-made. I could make a titan if I wanted.” “Can you destroy a titan if you want?” “Well, I could. But all he's got a is dumb sack.” “So… you don't want to, I take it?” “Fine, I can't make one either. They're just big magic constructs that shoot lightning. Who wants that?” “Atlantium has started a unicorn breeding program.” “Good. Putting all that sprite-rich mulch to good use growing grass I see.” “Archibald’s ways are disgusting. But I can’t deny they’re effective.”DAY 19  “Finders keepers, mate. Guess Roland’s having a hard time keeping his lands, not just against us.”Another artifact more decent for warriors than for mages, since they are the ones whose spells lack duration and it increases duration by 2. I find these “like spell power… but objectively worse” artifacts a waste of a good artifact slot.    “Do not touch that white pearl! King Roland himself entrusted me with it!” “Hey, the Jadamian LAD has one of those. Falcor, FETCH!” “With pleasure.” “Hey! It is forbidden to breed dragons in Rolands lands under article 13 of Morglin’s consti  ” “And now HAT with a doggie on top? This is best DAY ever!”DAY 20  “Found MORE ogre friends. But they too SLOW and dumb. NEED training.” “You, witch girl I can’t bother to remember the name of, go and fetch the rest of the riches Wrathmont left behind.” “I'm a sorceress...” “You're confusing me with someone who cares." DAY 21   “Yeah… we’re here to rob peasants, not ogres. Nope. Not facing that.” “Then go, cowards. My General mate just wants me to survey the land with that tower you use to survey for marks.” “So, that’s what behind those hills. More neato artifacts!” “Oh, and looks like Roland’s already suspecting of our presence. They sent an… orc knight? Well, he’s got a very mixed army of badasses and losers, general mate.”It is what I expected to find at this rate. Several crusaders, without spells, are a very tough army already. If it wasn’t for my ogres, I’d have no chance against him. And that’s not even counting how many experience levels he might have.  “Hey, I saw that shiny coin first!” “Nope, ah did! This insae yer ordinar coin. It's a jammy coin! It's easily worth one… na, twa thousand o’yer coins. Or a besom.” “For real, mate? A lucky coin? Well, I don’t have a cow, but I do have two thousand coins. Pass it over.” “Arie, I thank you for revealing those red dragons defending the passage for the town of Portsmith. They said they struck bargain to keep Roland's more zealous subjects from finding that small minotaur settlement called Portsmith. But since they are our allies now, Portsmith will submit to the dragon king!” “Archibald!” “Oh, sorry. Of course. Still unused to new alliances.”  “Go back! We settled here to escape Archibald the Cunning. Roland’s generals promise us a fair fight, from the front, instead of a dagger and a curse from the back.” “Oh, what a noble sentiment. But fighting fair is for common folk without magic. Now you see me. Now you can’t!” “Treasonous warlocks! That’s precisely the reason why we left!” “Centaurs, are we winning?” “Cursed, enfeebled and blinded by foul magic? Is that the way you dragons want to defeat us?” “We don’t care as long as your flesh is tender and well-done.” “Portsmith is ours, Dragon King! Oh, I mean...” “Oh, don’t worry that little head of yours. Since the Dragon King is our ‘guest’, you are still working for him. In a sense.” “And speaking of work, someone seems to have noticed that those disgracefully honorable minotaurs are gone from Portsmith. You better have a plan to defend it.”(Part 1) The_PC_Snob fucked around with this message at 04:39 on Nov 25, 2019 |
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Nov 25, 2019 00:20
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(Part 2) DAY 22  “My plan is to gather more red dragons, of course!” “So the Warlocks use gargoyles on their mercury labs? I didn’t think the beasts were so smart!” “Smart? Sheila, goyles are many things, but smart is not one of them I can remember. They are, however, seemingly immune to the vapors, for sure. You’ll never see the smart people among the warlocks doing such menial tasks.” “I question what is so smart in leaving unskilled and incompetent laborers gathering such important and specialized resources.” “We cover our needs with numbers. How’s the saying? A thousand goblins with a thousand inked pens attached to their clubs may eventually write a word on somebody’s corpse?” “Whatever, gargoyles, zombies or goblins. It brings the mercury and the mercury can be used to build the Red Tower. (Now with traces of gargoyles in the walls).”DAY 23  “Maximus already cut you off from the Red Dragons to the north, Vesper. Pass your dragon to Arie and go do something else useful.” “That’s not fair, my strategy was flawless!” “Don’t strategies have to take into account what the enemy will do too, mate?” “No-one asked you, Jadamian!” “Master, the sprites have infiltrated Pinehurst and somehow ordered a rainbow to be built!” “You’re talking nonsense, druid. You can’t build rainbows.” “It is not really a rainbow, it is a gigantic crystal photostructure that focus prism magic into a permanent rainbow fixture. It makes everyone feel perpetually lucky (though we don’t know if it actually brings luck. Who knows? It actually might).” “Hah! I knew luck was just something one felt. It is nothing more than confidence.”DAY 24  “Hey, box of blowflies, let’s dance.” “Another gets in the way of the great Maximus? By the Lincoln, this will be a treat.” “By the grouse Dragon of the Cosmos, ugly mate. What have you been feeding those men?” “I’ve been feeding these crusaders glory and resolve, boy. And cheese. Lots and lots of glorious cheese.”Maximus has 5 defense and attack. Arie has 0. Of both. Just for comparison, this means his peasants fight as well as battle dwarves, while his crusaders are stronger than Black Dragons. There’s still a damage and a hit points disparity, of course, but those aren’t being even further multiplied anymore. One ogre is usually capable of killing 31 peasants exactly, if it attacks first (easy to arrange against the AI), leaving it with exactly 1 hit point left… on average (depends on how the ogre rolls his damage). Against Maximus’ peasants here, the same ogre wouldn’t kill even a fourth the same stack of 31 peasants, with 24 peasants left as they kill the ogre. Now the ogre is only capable of killing a stack of 23 peasants by itself, on average, which is a larger difference than it seems considering how stacks force multiply (23 peasants dying to the ogre, but 31, only 8 peasants more, killing the ogre with only 7 casualties). If it were 10 ogres, they can kill 239 regular peasants on average. If against Maximus’ peasants, it only takes 174 peasants to kill them. And this is considering how granular peasants are, they are the creature most vulnerable to damage, since every single point of damage decreases their own damage. Sturdier creatures get even more effective with a hero’s stats.  “Nope. Not having it, mate. I’ll melt the metal of those tin men.” “You’ll have to keep at it all day to make a difference, hummie.”Arie might have a wooping 9 spell power (high for so early in a map), but the only real damage spell he has is Death Wave, which wouldn’t kill a single Crusader, Maximus strongest stack. Blind would be useful too, but just in case Maximus could dispel it right after I chose to be capable of actually harming his Crusaders after softening them with Disrupting Ray.  “Oh… when you attack a couple of swordsmen you decide to blind them, you horned ponies? Better than nothing I guess, but I’d rather the crusaders had been blinded, for sure.” “Go bullmen. Cut the zealot!” “Parry and riposte! Savages and abominations are no match for true honor!” “Shut it about honor. I’m the one who taught all of you this move. Honor is the whims of the mighty.” “Ouch. This is hard to watch. How can you be so cruel to the majestic bullmen?” “Cruel? Us? That one said he’d gift my shattered skull to my family before I struck true into its chest!” “Aww… how many enemies would inform your loved ones of your passing?” “AND eat them. Heh… oh. My stomach is over there… ” “Hah! My ogres cut two of your precious crusaders down.” “And they’ll all die for that.” “I cannot hold without assistance! Where is the dwarven column? I am alone against ogres, minotaurs and even a dragon scarlet of scales!” “Don’t dare to wail in misfortune when doing your duty. You are holding the line for the dwarven column and got that dragon very wounded. Go for glory, if you call yourself a warrior. If you’re going down, take the dragon with you!” “Our duty is sacred and you cannot take our honor away with our death! Die, wyrm! In my dying breath, die!” “Hold your ground, ogres, wait them to get close and then have the first strike!” “You hear that, stouties? They think you are cowards and weaklings who will wait for your doom. Make haste, take breath, and CHAAAAARGE!” “Ow. That must have hurt.” “I’m leaving now. But this was a good bout, box of blowflies!” “Another victory! When I reach this ‘colony’ with my body, they’ll all already know the praises and feats of the Mighty Maximus!” “Why am I surrounded by incompetent idiots?” “Hey, General mate, it wasn’t that bad. I got out ok.” “Go. Take the birds. Kill that ugly orc this time! And try to not get outmaneuvered by dwarves while you’re at it. But first try and learn a useful spell from the shrines for one.” “Righto, mate.” “Barok, I’ve decided sacrificing unicorns to ghosts might be above your competence level. Take Wrathmont’s dragons.” “The master of the Snobs SAYS what?” “And go feed them that village of peasants to the west if they refuse the rule of Archibald. I want to access their cemetery and beat whatever magics I can out of their elders. Wrathmont, you’ll use your ogre lords to exorcise those ghosts.” “I see! The stench OF ogre is a very effective GHOST repellent!”  “Sssssee the old man, all wrinkled and ssssssoft of featuressss. He’d make a great new feature for our gardensssss.” “Oh… ladies. Sorry, to intrude, didn’t realize these ruins were taken. I will take my leave.” “Going ssssso ssssssssoooon? Sssstay for tea, old man. We love to drink hot tea by the ssssea of sssstony fassscesss. You might even join them.” “I’m *gulp* afraid I must decline, dear ladies. Farewell.” “Roland’s trousers is yellow like his banners. We pled… ple… we want to join Archibald the bold!” “Archibald the Bold? Archibald the BOLD? Archibald the harbinger of doom, more like it. If only Alamar had destroyed those pesky Ironfists.” “Huh? Who is Ala...bar?” “Who is Ala…? That’s it, you’re all dead now. Dragons, feed at will.” “But we wanted Archibald ” “By the smell of barbecue I take it the peasants were too loyal to Roland? A pity.” “What? Roland? Oh, sure, they were too loyal to the wrong lord. That’s right.”DAY 25  “I yield, my ladies. It seems I was too hasty last time. Join me and, uh, you’ll get a lot of new garden gnomes!” “Oh, you ssssshouldn’t have. We can alwaysssss have more gnomes.”  “So it comes to this? You resort to turning my warriors into stone?” “It is called ‘winning’, traitor.” “Who’s traitor?” “You are, green orc. The orcs are allied with the raiding barbarians of Ergon and yet you fight for Roland.” “Oh, so that’s the political snafu happening here. Interesting. Look, I don’t care. I just joined the first army I saw. As long as they sing the name of Maximus, I don’t care if the pink elves or the pink orcs are doing it. It is just sad you rob my men the glory of death. You win, you sneak, but my glory of leading the defeat of a dragon of this world is not diminished.” “No luck, General mate. The shrine only guarded the Stoneskin spell. Won’t do much good against those fanatics.” “Then go to the well and keep yourself fresh for the next combat. Seems like Vesper finished that green orc off. So at least you weakened him enough for even vesper to defeat. But now that Maximus is defeated it means the rural lords know of our arrival and it won’t take long before they send more.”DAY 26   “Bewaaaaaare! The miiiiiine… is going to collaaaaaaapse! Ruuuuun!” “Ah! The MINE is collapsing! Quick, ogres, run INTO the collapsed mine to keep it FROM collapsing!” “Uh… we confused. Mine already closed with rocks.” “Oh. Then JUST kill the ghosts! THEY lied!” “Tell Rooooooland… that hiiiiiis miiiiiines… suuuuuuuucks.” “Of course THEY do. They’re full OF ghosts!” “I see you’ve exorcised the gold mine, Wrathmont. Good. Now pick up the rest of Arie’s supplies. I hear there’s an artifact or two about.” “Haunted ARTIFACTS, I hope.” “There’s a green dragon up north. Guess that way is no-go.” “What? No! Go to that dragon and demand that he join our cause.” “Are you crazy? I only have a single sprite guarding me. He’ll eat me whole!” “Better not if he cares about the dragon king. We’ve got an alliance with the dragons. Get him.” “You mean I’ll ride a dragon?” “The alliance only goes so far. But sure, try it. I won’t mourn you.” “My plan worked, General! I’ve recruited the red dragon!” “Just two days too late to be useful against Maximus. But the more dragons we find in the land the better.” “They said they planned on feasting on this ‘Vulcania’. It belongs to the rural lords.” “At least our objectives align. You want to kill Roland’s subjects. We want to eat them. Both can be accomplished at the same time. For now.” “Foolish simpletons. The villagers here forgot to properly bless their dead. Now their graveyard is full of feral mutant zombies. A necromancer must’ve spilled some necromantic waste upstream. This is going to make my grave-robbing much harder.” “Best to divide and conquer. Slowing that sacrilegious fast group in the middle will give me some breathing room. Then take the groups of stragglers one by one with the dragons leading the charge.” “Barok, servant of king Alamar the Greatest, 100. Stupid zombies, 0.” “What an accomplishment, you killed a horde of zombies and only needed a couple of GODDAMN DRAGONS.” “Believe me, some would lose the dragons.” “Good news, General mate. The second floor of the druids’ mage’s guild in Atlantium has lightning bolt. Now we can start to hold our own without relying so much on the poor ogres.” “Blessed be the Ancients. At last those hippies were good for something. All forces, converge to Atlantium and learn lightning bolt from the druids.”DAY 27  “Oh, seems like the rural lords sent some guy named Dimitri to try and defend Vulcania.” “Will he intercept you?” “Not likely. I was practically on top of Vulcania when I saw Dimitri in my scrying.” “Then slaughter the population and fall back. Seems like they have a lot of idle mercenary archers I don’t want in the hands of a good commander.” “Very well.”  “Brigands! Must I fail again to protect those entrusted to me? At least I will get them avenged this time.” “Again? You must be really bad at your job.” “Don’t remind me! When they took my queen they also took the cube of power and I was powerless to stop. Then when the Necromancers slaughtered our subjects, I too was less than ideal. Now, however, I will use whatever power I have to achieve justice this time. Crusaders, make them pay the blood price!” While not as powerful as Maximus, Dimitri is just short of with 1 less attack and defense.  And even more defense on his Crusaders is certainly not optimal. The good news is that it only lasts one turn.  The bad news is that I stupidly passed the chance to get first strike (and a chance to turn them to stone) because I thought I had another turn with slow. But Dimitri canceled Vesper's slow with his haste and the Crusaders got two turns in a row, killing both my elf and a stack of medusas before they could even act again. “What? That’s cheating!” “You rely too much on your foul sorcery! Just like that monster Sheltem.” “To hell with your sorry past.” “Come back, Dragon! Protect me! No, wait! Not like that...” “Justice is mine!” “Piff paff to you. I’m outta here. No point throwing my life away for a usurper.” “I won’t miss someone who loses dragons so readily. To hell with your precious Dragon King. I hope Archibald makes a pair of boots out of him when this is over.”DAY 28   “Our pyramid was just here, mortal. Do you know the way?” “Eww! The wrapped dead. Dragons, burn them.” “Wait! Our balms are very inflammable, mad woman. Don’t be hasty. If you don’t want to tell us the way to the pyramid, just say so.” “Pyramid huh? Yeah, I know the way. Just follow me.” “Are you sure you serve Archibald? You seem… off.” “Of course I serve that bastard. A woman has her expenses too.” “I think I’m finished COLLECTING all that gold and goods!” “It is an error to leave your armies with this madman! I just proved my worth!” “You have one chance to change my mind.” “Alamar would...” “Pass. The madman it is!” “Aren’t you going to rehire Vesper, General mate?” “After the blunder he did against Dimitri? One red dragon for one crusader? That’s too much incompetence for my liking.” “For sure. I’ve bolstered a nice garrison here in Atlantium. I think I’m good to explore what is past that huge wolfpack to the east.” “Boom! My lightning bolt kills ten wolves per cast, General Mate.” “Good. Now you’re half-way competent! It would still be better if you didn’t forget how to cast dimension door every time you fall blackout drunk!”DAY 29   “BLAGH! It is month of the vampire, my sire!” “I see they’ve converted my astrologist into one of them. Better break my fast with a strong garlic soup today if I don’t want to join into their recruitment efforts.” “Thes everburnin' piece ay lava can make yer fire brighter! Jist pay me thee thoosain gauld an' gezz some mercury.” “Some leper pom wants… gold I guess? For a bit of lava?” “That’s the Everhot Lava Rock. It can be a powerful source of fire magic! We don’t know any fire magic, yet, but we can keep it in case we do learn some and we can spare the price.” “Righto, General mate!”DAY 30  “This shrine belongs to a sect of wizards who were also hoping to settle here in the rural lands. They were boar herders. I’m so sorry for burning all your livestock.” “Why are you eating them if you are so sorry?” “Because they taste so good I’m crying of happiness!” “We didn’t settle only to breed boars. We got here with a score of golems for protection as well. You’ll never conquer Greywind. Also, if you wish, stay a while so we can teach you Cold Ray.” “That 180 was so fast I got whiplash. What gives?” “We are still wizards. We love to teach magic, you simpleton.”  “Even with your dragons our score of golems will protect us, evil pillagers.” “That’s a lot of tin men… but I don’t plan to pillage Greywind. I plan to develop it into a great castle!” “As if, you work for Archibald the Evilmonger. Iron golems, protect us!” “Evilmonger? That’s not even a word!” “For that, I’ll downgrade your iron golems to copper golems.” “And now I’ll downgrade them even further to wood golems. Highly flammable. I doubt they’ll withstand the dragons now.” “ ” “Oh… the dragons ate them… Sorry little guys.” “ ” “I’ve got a feeling I’ve done something evil here. They were right. Archibald IS an evilmonger.” “You’ve actually captured a town? I’m speechless! You’ve finally been useful. Good work, Rebecca.” “Oh, it was nothing. After I got those dragons saying I work for Archibald it was easy.” “Didn’t ask for your life’s story, hireling. Get over yourself.” “Oh… ok… (It’s been so long since someone actually called me by my name...)” “I’ve found a troll lair to the northwest, General Mate. The war troll sheilas that lived here didn’t want to grant me entry, but they’ll take a long time to regenerate those phoenix burns and magic arrow holes to do something about it, for sure. Seems like they had lots of goodies here, even a gathering of peasants to turn into skeletons if we had the necromancers.”DAY 31  “Look what I found, General Mate! This thing tickles my brain! Oh, and the trolls had a cottage. Strange that, I thought they lived under bridges, for sure.” “This is more than a trinket, Arie. This iron rod has been charged by so many lightning bolts it can empower them now! This is good, now we can certainly fend ourselves against the knights.” “What about the cottage mystery?” “Who cares? No, in fact, burn the cottage down to the ground so you won’t even be tempted to think about it again.”DAY 32  “Uh… they seem to be coming from every direction, General evil guy.” “Greywind and Middle Gate are threatened by Roland’s knights. And my green dragons are too close to danger.” “And me!” “Poor green dragons. Wrathmont would make such good use of them...”  “You accuse ONE king of being an interstellar criminal robot and suddenly they don’t trust you anymore and exile you. What are the odds that this Roland had nothing to do with Sheltem’s disguise? This is what I get vowing to hunt down rogue AIs, Brittle Pink, I tell ya.” “Stop talking with that fairy. Are you a warlock or a sissy elf?” “You dare? I’m Overlord Crodo, former adviser of King Burlock from the Clouds side of Xeen and you’ll direct yourself to me with respect!” “Right, right… Here’s some gold and you can keep the sprite pestling, I need a mule to direct reinforcements back to Arie. Are you in?” “… I’m so dirty poor now that I’d allow you to call me Sheila for a couple of coppers if I’m to be honest...” “No, no, no… Uh... That won’t be necessary. That’s the Jadamian bastard’s thing, not mine.”DAY 33  “You won’t believe what I found, General Mate! There’s a necropolis along the coast flying Roland’s colors! Oh, and it turned out the peasants were being protected by the trolls. Or that’s what they said before I upgraded them to ashy mounds with my phoenixes.” “Couldn’t care less. If they won’t bend their knee to Archibald they’re worthless to me. Traitors everywhere I go. Meet up with Crodo, Jadamian. Get your reinforcements and teach those creepy hemophiliac weirdos what I do with traitors!” “I’ve managed to slip away alive, if you’d like to know. I’ve also passed the dragons to Wrathmont’s command like you wanted. What now?” “Hmmm… Wrathmont is going to need his own mule too.” “I figured as much...” “You assume too much, girl. What gives you the notion you’re good enough to be a mule? Tut, tut. Go your marry way. I’ll call if I can think of a lesser task suitable for you.”DAY 34  “They dare take Greywind from me? Wrathmont, go at them and cost them an army will you?” “He will EVEN see me coming!” “Curs! I warned the rural lords and vowed to take you down myself. You’re another of Archibald the Pitifully Mustachioed’s equally pitiful lackeys, aren’t you?” “LIES! I do not SERVE that Archibald man you talk about. I serve a man General CALLED Snob.” “And I serve Archibald, you can of mixed jellied worms!” “Oh. CONGRATULATIONS, gloriously mustachioed MAN. It seems you were RIGHT all along!” “Oh, right… you still don’t know any offensive spells. Remind me to order you into Greywind’s shrine to learn Cold Ray as soon as possible.” “WORRY not. I WON’T.” “Archer battalion, take out their ugly orcs! Then they’ll only have melee threats!” “I won’t stand FOR it. I’ve been collecting those PIGMEN for weeks. Falkors, ATTACK!”This was actually fortunate. The AI has a huge bias about attacking ranged stacks, but he’d do me far much more damage if Kilburn attacked my dragons taking advantage of the rangers’ dual shot. And Killburn has enough stats they’d risk killing up to 2 dragons. I’ll gladly trade 20-odd orc chieftains for 2 green dragons.  “Cur! You’d attack dames? With vile dragons!” “It is a long HELD tradition by the flying slithering things. Who am I TO deny their cultural heritage?” “Tactical dispel!”We both blinded each other’s most dangerous stack (my ogres and his pikemen. Actually, the rangers would be the most dangerous, if I wasn’t planning on blocking them with dragons.) But I had to use my second turn casting Disrupting Ray on Kilburn’s rangers to soften them up a bit. They’re almost as sturdy as the green dragons attacking them and this is ridiculous. But in doing so the AI got the chance to get to its second most pressing spell directive: dispelling debuffs from its strongest stack. Which meant the pikemen got to act after the rangers. This COULD have been dangerous, but thankfully the sprites took the aggression. No-retaliation stacks are also high-priority targets to the AI.  “This is too good TO pass up. Falkors, double back and burn THEM all!” “Hold your pikes high and make them pay! Glorious day, you took one of the fel beasts.” “How did you bring dragons into our lands? I’ll report back. You must have a secret warlock hideout in the whereabouts.” “One FALKOR dead. Oh, I weep TODAY.”This was grueling. But Kilburn was the strongest hero wandering about this side of the map. I should get a bit of a respite from the western side now. As for the eastern side...   “Begone! We are knights of the Shining Moustache and Kilburn tasked us with defending this mountain pass from wretches like yourself.” “Ooo! If you’re defending this mountain pass this means there’s something very valuable in there. My scrying shows a very powerful-looking scroll. Mind if I relieve you from your task?” “You mock us, devil-dealer? We are going to ride you down under our powerful steeds!” “Oh, that’s the best you can do horse-kissers? Was that worth swapping your wives for horses?” “I am sooo ready for them to try me.” “One of their knights is exploring quite deep into our mountain range, Arie. Do something before they find our repurposed Sorceress castles.” “Righto, General mate. On my way.”DAY 35  “WRATHMONT got the place that makes silver water back. Seems like someone wants to try to TAKE it from him, though.” “That’s Tyro the Teal’c. Don’t worry, he’s only got a basic patrol of a score of pikemen and a handful of champions. Nothing that can tackle your dragons. Now, go get Greywind back!”DAY 36  “I knew I should have hanged more astrologers. They’re still not taking me seriously.” “Or maybe they don’t have the power to dictate what the stars say, General.” “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Thanks. I needed the laugh.”  “Dimitri, you should have brought better troops to invade our turf, for sure.” “Finally I’ve found your base of operations. Don’t think you scare me with that renegade band of traitorous druids and elves.” “There’s many more druids from where those came from. It is not that hard to find forest folk bearing ill-will to Roland it seems. Astra the least of it.” “Crusaders, go forth...” “Kablammo!” “ ” “Seven hells!” “Sorry, won’t make the same mistake old man Vesper did of underestimating the fake-gold tin-men.” “Well, two can play at this game. For Xeen! Freeze!” “Oh, impressive, mate. Five more of those breezes and you might get all the little pixies!” “drat you, Jadamian! drat you. Knew I couldn’t trust those dwarves to hold their own. I’ll be back.” “And I’ll be waiting for you.” “General mate, it seems holding on to that piece of lava was worth it for sure. The third floor of the druid’s mage’s guild has acquired Fireball for us. Also, I defended Atlantium from Dimitri on the way here.” “Good work, Jadamian. Now go capture that Necromancer town to the coast. They’ll have a lot to answer to.” “Most fortunate, my general. I’ve found a hidden sulfur mine in a mountain pass to the north-northeast. A community of halflings in a pass to the north seem to be uninclined to take it due to its proximity to those ruins full of medusas.” “If the medusas bother you, just hire them. We can spare the gold. Maybe they’ll even work the sulfur mine for us.”DAY 37  “That Greywind you TOLD me to capture was manned by mostly boars and peasants. I’ve fed the boars to THE dragons and the peasants to the ogres. Everyone’s happy AND full, though some ogres are complaining they ONLY got to eat 3 peasants when most got 4.” “Guess the peasants weren’t good enough for almighty lord Kilburn and he left them to die in this town. Or maybe he left them here to protect them. He either failed miserably or horribly, since I’d rather slaughter them without leadership here than under his banner.” “At any rate, it is Castle Greywind now, since Arie traded the ore and wood we needed. Archibald’s subjects will be better protected. And pay the higher price for it, of course.”DAY 38  “Arie, I know you just got your reinforcements and I ordered you to go northeast… but the druids seem so pleased with us that they’ve acquired the best farewell gift a warlock could ever hope.” “Yowzas! Coming, General mate. Coming hard!”Do I even need to say anything that was left unsaid about Chain Lightning and Meteor Shower? I mean, I guess Fireball is as spellpoint efficient with the everburning lava, but few spells are as terrifying as a lightning bolt in an area. DAY 39  “Someone is brave to venture here after I so thoroughly trashed Dimitri. She’s coming right for me.” “Then we better be courteous and meet her half-way.”DAY 40   “I’ve gathered an alliance against Archibald the Vile. Humans, barbarians and even undead are sick of his illegal rule.” “Good knight girl offer us garbage! Double garbage Archibald gives!” “Shuuuut uuuup!” “And weeee weeeeere looords who triiiied tooo defect Rooooland. This is oooour puuuunishment for ooooour rebeeeeellion.” “Wait, you could talk all this time? And you decide to do it now?” “Seems like you’re suffering a bit of an insubordination problem, Sheila. Don’t worry, I have the perfect solution.” “What? You killed half my army! How does that solve anything?” “Think of it this way. I’ve liberated half your army from the burden of fighting under you. They’ll thank me later.” “What? I didn’t even get a farewell lightning bolt?” “Do you want one? I can give you one.” “Ugh, no. You made it weird.”If you have the upper hand, attack in order from the fastest to the slower enemy stack, then you have a good chance of killing all the opposition's army outright before it has the chance to retreat or cast a cheeky spell. Retreating heroes are a real pain because you keep finding them in the field again, like Dimitri and Kilburn. DAY 41  “Roland conspurcates our holy lands by inviting unholy undead into it. Even diplomacy have limits. Does Archibald the Dubious vows to keep our lands clean and pure?” “Sure, mate.” “Good. We’ll teach you a way to bless entire armies. Bring Roland to his knees for his blasphemy.” “ “What was that? “Nothing! Bless me away!”DAY 42  “Wrathmont FOUND the place that teaches me how to be COLD! I don’t care FOR it.” “What? You took all this time? The shrine was right in front of Greywind!” “How am I supposed to FIND such a place when there’s so much to plunder around?” “Hmmm… fair assessment. I won’t hold it against you. This time.” “Figures… the moment you learn Cold Ray, Greywind gets lightning bolt, making all that unnecessary.” “That’s an impressive Zombie army you got there.” “Or, was, at any rate. Impressive that it survived my chain lightning altogether, though.” “So far found no necromancer heroes working for Archibald. Only this lone castle. By the name of Whiteshield I don’t think it was originally a Necromancer town.” “Well, it is ours now. Dig a moat so it remains so. Tomorrow, we’ll decide what to make of it.”This is it. For now. I’ve got only 4 castles in a map with loads of towns, but there’s so little ore and wood that the enemy couldn’t upgrade the two towns it captured from me into castles (not to mention that Knights are extremely wood-hungry). Now that I have powerful heroes on both sides of the map I can probably take control of the rest of the map now, but I’m not out of danger yet. I have polled 2 sorceress castles into a hero, but they can poll half again that many knight castles together. In a single week, if they’ve been upgrading, they can gather up to 12 crusaders. A week. Even Arie’s lightning bolt can only kill less than half of that. Also, there’s been a lot of movement in the water to the east. I could build a boat and navigate a bit, to see if there’s any hidden islands with loot hidden in the waters. Vote Colonize or Northwards, if you want me to explore the seas before advancing, or if you want me to march north and try to end this here and now, respectively. The_PC_Snob fucked around with this message at 00:42 on May 9, 2020 |
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Nov 25, 2019 00:21
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Surprise update.  I vote Colonize.
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Nov 25, 2019 00:59
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Colonize, before the sprites do and we are buried in butterflies.
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Nov 25, 2019 03:05
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Might as well put Ariel's navigation skill to good use, Colonize!
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Nov 25, 2019 08:59
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This LP is as dead as Sandro is.  Also can't stress this enough, but seriously awesome work on the gifs PC Snob.
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Nov 25, 2019 09:05
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Ride north! Burnitating the countryside. Burninating the peasants.
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Nov 25, 2019 11:33
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Colonize Oh happy day the LP is back. I will shamelessly steal your peasant burning gif PC_Snob, it's amazing
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Nov 25, 2019 17:03
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Nothing would make me happier. It took me dozens of hours uselessly trying to do it in GIMP before I finally came to my senses and looked for a dedicated animation tool. You can all expect more animations of the like from me. With my new tool it takes minutes to setup these, since I basically only feed it the Sprite frames and the way paths and it does the rest. Heck, from the features, it gave me some ideas if we finally lose our goddamn minds and try to tackle Heroes 3.
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Nov 25, 2019 18:44
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Perhaps eventually the curse on my favourite HoMM game (five) LPs will be broken...
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Nov 25, 2019 18:47
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huzzah it has returned! Though considering all of the gifs and flair used for the screenshots I can see how the updates can take their time. At any rate I say we march North and just continue murdering as we go 
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Nov 26, 2019 06:20
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 Im so glad this one is back, and Im loving the new burninating gifsColonize
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Nov 26, 2019 15:15
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The_PC_Snob posted:The bad news is that I stupidly passed the chance to get first strike (and a chance to turn them to stone) because I thought I had another turn with slow. But Vesper canceled my slow with his haste and the Crusaders got two turns in a row, killing both my elf and a stack of medusas before they could even act again. Oh that Vesper, what a card.
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Nov 26, 2019 17:14
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THE BAR posted:Oh that Vesper, what a card. Whoops. That part was supposed to be "DIMITRI canceled VESPER'S slow". Fixed. Amazing what you skip over even after several cleanup passes.
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Nov 27, 2019 04:16
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I love reading this. So glad you're back! Burninating gifs are awesome. Snob's choice - but please have the General game out the scenarios like at the start of this map. I enjoy seeing the prediction and having our General think out his plan.
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Nov 27, 2019 05:22
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Kacie posted:I love reading this. So glad you're back! That was a one off for this map because this is the hardest obligatory mission in the whole campaign. The next two missions in one you can choose an obelisk map so if worse comes to worse you can save scum to try and dig it out randomly. And the last one you start with 3 castles and one huge starting advantage that really DOES offset the enemy having 3 times as many castles. But this one can get people stuck because you're obligated to defeat an overpowering enemy starting from nothing, so I just pointed an alternate way out (and possibly designed that way, simply because you NEED logistics and ends up with exactly 0 move at day 7, and the map outright offers you logistics. If you needed to do some extra step like keeping only the gargoyles then I'd think it was an exploit, but they also keep the way mostly free for you). It'd be hard to do it again because the next maps I WILL play out exactly what I plan to do. I didnt do it this map because it just wouldnt be that exciting to learn meteor shower or chain lightning week 1 and just turtle for experience at a maxed out castle for a couple of weeks. But if we get to heroes 3, there are LOTS of maps with these kinds of shortcuts to win them out easier.
The_PC_Snob fucked around with this message at 18:01 on Nov 27, 2019 |
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Nov 27, 2019 17:54
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The_PC_Snob posted:But if we get to heroes 3, there are LOTS of maps with these kinds of shortcuts to win them out easier. Anyway, I vote Colonize. Let's see what's out there.
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Nov 27, 2019 19:04
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The nobles have spoken. Colonize won. We'll what there is under the sea.
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Dec 2, 2019 21:39
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The_PC_Snob posted:The nobles have spoken. Colonize won. We'll what there is under the sea. Go, Rebecca, go! 
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Dec 3, 2019 08:53
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Sweet, I knew I wasn't waiting in vain for this, welcome back! Too late to vote, but I still think I'm in for a sweet ride, go forth and colonize!
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Dec 3, 2019 12:37
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THE BAR posted:Go, Rebecca, go! She didn't get the chance to sail, but she did see quite a bit of action with reinforcements meant for Arie. It is not like he needed them anyway.
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Dec 4, 2019 14:54
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| # ? May 8, 2024 00:28 |
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Good news the license hasn't been forgotten yet Actual information
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Jan 14, 2020 15:03
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