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Tired of voting for the same old, boring, do-nothing two parties? Feel like your vote doesn't matter? Still think Ralph Nader got a bad rap? Interested in making deranged and threatening declarations to your normie friends that you intend to vote for an outsider? You're not alone -- millions of Americans feel the same way as you! Fortunately, as the 2020 election season begins, third party candidates are gearing up as well. Haters and losers may call them "crazy" or "fringe whackjobs," but are they really so bonkers? Here's a fact: More than 60 million Americans voted for either Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump in 2016. It's hard to believe so many people would come up so short in the brains department, but it's true. So who's really bonkers? It's my assertion that third party candidates often have a far more sensible and reasonable view of the world, or they're totally batshit. Anyways, Trump also toyed with a third party at one point -- so a third-party candidate could become president one day. You never know. Some say voting third party is like throwing your vote away; I like to think of third-party voters as being ahead of the curve. So with that in mind, let us begin with:   quote:
THE PARTIES   Party: Libertarian Party Headquarters: Alexandria, VA Founded: 1971 Colors: Gold Website: https://www.lp.org Convention: May 23, 2020. Austin, TX What to know: The Libertarian Party stands for a bold leap into a Snow Crash future of balkanized, killbot-patrolled enclaves where age of consent laws don't exist and where the anxious petit-bourgeoisie of today can be the neo-feudal lords of tomorrow. Ideological influences include Ayn Rand, Murray Rothbard, Ludwig von Mises, Ron Paul and the villain from BioShock. Advisory to non-Americans: If you ever by chance encounter American libertarians in your country, immediately report them to the police. In 2016, the Libertarian Party nominated former New Mexico Gov. Gary Johnson, who received 3.28% of the vote (4.48 million votes) which was the best-ever result for a libertarian presidential candidate in American history (incidentally, surpassing Ralph Nader's result with the Green Party in 2000) -- and perhaps indicative of the broader cutthroat, right-wing economic drift in American society. On the plus side, they favor legalizing drugs of all kinds, which is a very sensible position because if I'm going to live in Snow Crash I will want to be high as poo poo. Their members also have a tendency to strip to their bare rear end and dance on stage at their conventions, which is greatly divisive within the broader Libertarian Party. One thing that's unclear is how the party will navigate 2020 with Johnson out of the picture, and with anecdotal stories of libertarians turning fash and pro-Trump. My prediction is that the LP will probably lose votes in 2020 relative to 2016. Declared Candidates: 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CdYdzoBaXM
   Party: Prohibition Party Headquarters: Needemore, PA Founded: 1869 Colors: Red, white, blue; purple Website: https://www.prohibitionparty.org Convention: Nov. 13, 2018. Telephone What to know: You know, it's funny. The Prohibition Party is the oldest third party in America and was a political force at one point, helping push the 18th Amendment in 1919 and electing a congressman from California and a governor of Florida (the vehemently anti-Catholic and anti-black racist Sidney Catts: 1917-1921). The party's best result in a presidential election was in 1892, where they secured 2.2% of the vote with candidate John Bidwell, a California settler. The party was also tied up with the women's suffrage movement. The party is practically name-only now, reaching an all-time low of 208 votes in 2000, although they pulled in more than 5,000 votes in 2016, the best result for the party since 1988. Their 2016 candidate was long-time party loyalist James Hodges -- who formerly served as Tax Assessor in Thompson County, Pennsylvania (the only Prohibition politician to hold elected office this century). Anyways -- banning hooch, cigarettes, other drugs, gambling and generally ruining everyone's fun is the Prohibition Party's signature issue. Otherwise the party's 2020 platform reads like a standard ultra-reactionary paleoconservative bucket list, favoring protectionism, isolationism, ending the Fed, supporting gun rights and putting Jesus back in the schools. Animal rights is another plank -- which might be a reflection of the influence of Seventh-Day Adventism (wild guess here) on the party. Though it's hard to see much progress for the party with competition from drug-legalizing libertarians, though it has attempted to build an alliance with the American Solidarity Party -- which models itself after European Christian Democrats. Nominees: President: 
Vice President: 
  Party: American Free Soil Party Headquarters: Millersburg, IN Founded: 1848 ... but this more recent one was founded in 2018 Colors: Black and white (as far as I can tell) Website: https://www.americanfreesoilparty.org Convention: Feb. 16, 2019. Telephone What to know: The original Free Soil Party was a single-issue anti-slavery party that existed in the late 1840s and early 1850s, led by Martin Van Buren but dissolved after the Compromise of 1850. The party's famous slogan went: "Free Soil, Free Speech, Free Labor, and Free Men." They were the good guys and were something of a proto-Republican Party. This latest version appears to be a split from the Prohibition Party, started by Rev. Jimmy Clifton of Indiana -- an apparent member of a losing faction of an internal struggle within that party. The American Free Soil Party website states that Clifton founded the party with "a coalition of third-party members concerned about racist elements within those parties." The American Free Soil Party also appears to be a Lutheran organization that is progressive and conservative at the same time. Anti-abortion, anti-capital punishment, and fairly pro-immigration, pro-social safety nets and pro-LGBT. I don't think it's going anywhere though as the American Solidarity Party seems to be filling its lane and with more support. Nominees: President: 
Vice President: 
BrutalistMcDonalds has issued a correction as of 03:49 on May 17, 2019 |
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Nov 26, 2018 18:17
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MORE TO COME: 
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this is gonna go on for awhile so i can add more parties and their candidates as they come in to the OP (some have already filed! stay tuned!). just wanted to get the libertarians mostly out of the way first since they're the biggest of the minor factions also gonna use this post as a placeholder for the left-wing parties BrutalistMcDonalds has issued a correction as of 08:00 on Nov 27, 2018 |
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Nov 26, 2018 18:18
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Jeb!
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Nov 26, 2018 18:39
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Joe Exotic is the real choice
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Nov 26, 2018 18:48
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Prohibition Party next. They've already had their convention for 2020 That's how Prohibitionists roll. They're very productive since they cut out the hooch in the 1880s
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Nov 27, 2018 06:09
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where's the really tall dude with the skull face?
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Nov 27, 2018 06:18
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prohibition party added, which introduced me to lucille balle's communist activism -- the party's VP nominee wrote a self-published book about it. there are also rival factions within the party (the far right is the dominant one) https://twitter.com/Politics1com/status/1062798825000177665 https://twitter.com/Politics1com/status/1062800358592913408 BrutalistMcDonalds has issued a correction as of 07:48 on Nov 27, 2018 |
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Nov 27, 2018 07:43
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Of course the Prohibition Party has a literal Gammon running for them
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Nov 30, 2018 11:20
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the real crime of bmd getting banned for a sec is that it put a hold on this thread
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Dec 6, 2018 20:25
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this thread is a slow burner i somehow missed this though: https://twitter.com/BuzzFeedNews/status/1068193186441510913
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Dec 19, 2018 07:28
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also here's something fun, the reborn American Free Soil Party: https://www.americanfreesoilparty.org/free-soil-platform-2018  led by the rev. dr. jimmy clifton, a lutheran minister formerly of the prohibition and libertarian parties. the original party existed in the 1840s and 1850s as a single-issue anti-slavery party. the modern version is kind of a grab bag. like a mix of progressivism, socially conservative authoritarianism (in some areas) and libertarianism (!!!). doesn't seem like they have a presidential candidate for 2020 yet. this might be a result of that rumored split within the prohibition party. the 2018 platform includes opposition to: + abortion + death penalty + diplomatic immunity + eminent domain + seat belt laws + drugs (except for medicinal cannabis) + leniency towards criminals support for: + mixed social-welfare economy + homeschooling + same-sex marriage + gun control + immigration + minimum wage increases, expand healthcare and social security increases + anti-intervention with some exceptions BrutalistMcDonalds has issued a correction as of 07:50 on Dec 19, 2018 |
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Dec 19, 2018 07:46
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I met a guy at my last DSA event who was building his own vaguely leftist third party but I have no idea what the name is and theres no way I vote for that guy or anyone he nominates over PSL. Anyway it was cool that he gave enough of a poo poo to seriously organize for it though.
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Dec 19, 2018 16:10
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BrutalistMcDonalds posted:the 2018 platform includes this just reads like they were rolling a dice when deciding their stances on all these policies
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Dec 19, 2018 17:07
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Catboy Autonomist posted:this just reads like they were rolling a dice when deciding their stances on all these policies I imagine a bunch of minor parties determining their policy planks by draft, like picking dodgeball teams.
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Dec 20, 2018 01:35
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Catboy Autonomist posted:this just reads like they were rolling a dice when deciding their stances on all these policies idk it fits vaguely libertarian christian
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Dec 20, 2018 02:38
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Still voting straight ticket Harambe in 2020
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Dec 20, 2018 04:21
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZITP93pqtdQ
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Dec 20, 2018 05:03
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is PSL gonna run someone constitutionally eligible this time around? honestly they should just go all the way and nominate an undocumented immigrant
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Dec 20, 2018 23:55
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Fallen Hamprince posted:is PSL gonna run someone constitutionally eligible this time around? honestly they should just go all the way and nominate an undocumented immigrant
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Dec 21, 2018 00:39
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BrutalistMcDonalds posted:i did not know what you meant at first, then i looked it up and saw that the PSL's vice presidential candidate was only 30 years old in 2016 in 2012 PSL ran a presidential candidate who was 28 and a vice-presidential candidate who was not a natural born citizen and was 26
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Dec 21, 2018 00:43
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BrutalistMcDonalds posted:also here's something fun, the reborn American Free Soil Party: This is Radical Centrism
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Dec 21, 2018 00:50
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Fallen Hamprince posted:in 2012 PSL ran a presidential candidate who was 28 and a vice-presidential candidate who was not a natural born citizen and was 26 is the issue of vice-presidents needing to be natural born citizens or otherwise meet the requirements for presidency a settled matter now?
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Dec 21, 2018 13:42
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Subjunctive posted:is the issue of vice-presidents needing to be natural born citizens or otherwise meet the requirements for presidency a settled matter now? never been tested in court that I’m aware of, but the twelfth amendment states quote:But no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the United States. which sounds pretty airtight to me
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Dec 21, 2018 13:50
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oh, huh. yeah, that seems clear. maybe the open question is around the Speaker? wonder why I have that in my head.
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Dec 21, 2018 13:54
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Subjunctive posted:oh, huh. yeah, that seems clear. maybe the open question is around the Speaker? wonder why I have that in my head. "Natural born citizen" has never been legally clarified, and there were a lot of articles about it at the height of the Birther conspiracy theory.
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Dec 21, 2018 14:07
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there is however a legal consensus that at the very least, a ‘natural born citizen’ must be a US citizen from birth. it may or may not also require that said person be a citizen under jus soli, I.e. that they were born on US soil. the more restrictive interpretation would present a challenge had McCain been elected president, since the Panama Canal Zone was not legally considered US territory until being retroactively declared as such for citizenship purposes after he was born. lying ted would also be hosed because he was born in Canada, albeit to US citizen parents. the issue has never been tested though and it seems unlikely that the Supreme Court would unseat an elected President for it considering it would likely trigger a constitutional crisis
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Dec 21, 2018 18:18
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Haha yes the supreme court would never interfere with a presidential election, how silly
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Dec 21, 2018 18:25
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just checking in that i haven't forgotten about this thread. a few new candidates.... some greens... but i will post about them in time. the first communist party candidate filed this month as well. phil swift. red salute to comrade swift!
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Feb 1, 2019 04:56
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looks like weld might be out of the libertarian party. mcafee train chugs onward. there's also infighting within the constitution party, as the idaho branch has accused the party's leadership of governing akin to algerian president abdelaziz bouteflika quote:They’ll fit right in.
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Feb 18, 2019 20:34
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BrutalistMcDonalds posted:just checking in that i haven't forgotten about this thread. a few new candidates.... some greens... but i will post about them in time. give us the deets on our guy phil
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Feb 20, 2019 10:40
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only man running whos crazier and more retarded than trump is mcafee
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Feb 20, 2019 11:11
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mcafee just rolled up on some 3rd world yacht club and took over the bar
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Feb 20, 2019 11:11
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BrutalistMcDonalds posted:this thread is a slow burner Gravel and Yang both owe McAfee for pioneering this strategy
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Mar 23, 2019 19:20
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I just know Sam Seder as Janeane Garofalo's cohost on the Majority Report back in 2004, when Air America existed, but apparently he's pulling a Mike Gravel and running for the Libertarian Party nominee he also appears to be beating actual Libertarian candidates in last month's poll quote:Libertarian: https://twitter.com/majorityfm/status/1108204615122722817
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May 10, 2019 00:36
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Janeane Garofalo: Aubrey Plaza but 1990s.
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May 10, 2019 00:40
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This thread reminded me of this story about the Constitution party from 2016 http://www.mtv.com/news/2882533/god-and-country/ Super loving glad I don't live in Utah.
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May 10, 2019 03:39
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the libertarian debates are gonna be so lit
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May 11, 2019 19:17
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hey it's been awhile. i'm going to move onto the greens soon since candidates have been announcing, but until then i added the free soil party (they nominated candidates), and added some more libertarian candidates including seder, a guy in a funny hat, and a pro-assad candidate. also removed bill weld as he isn't running as a libertarian also the prohibition party swapped candidates so i've added them (the VP's name and pic is worth checking out; it's like paul wall people's champ territory) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFpA7p7d-3I also i can't be arsed to read up on this, but the (fascist) constitution party is in a state of absolute implosion following a recent meeting of the national committee in milwaukee. allegations of corruption, falsifying numbers to achieve a quorum, etc. is causing state parties to dissolve and disaffiliate.
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May 17, 2019 03:55
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The American Solidarity Party candidates thus far are all less entertaining than magician Mike Maturen
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May 17, 2019 04:02
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