superpowers with inconvenient and upsetting side effects

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Karate Bastard

You sort of can't see people, but you can see their cancers.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 10:28

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 28, 2024 06:43

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

You can make an exact copy of you wherever you desire but you also die and your copy is unaware of this.

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# ? Dec 8, 2018 12:35

Karate Bastard

You have a million billion teeth that never stop growing and you constantly have to gnaw poo poo to file them down lest you suffocate on them. You can bite through suspension cable.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 16:23

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

drilldo squirt posted:

You can make an exact copy of you wherever you desire but you also die and your copy is unaware of this.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 16:31

Fredrik1: Gopherslayer

You can talk to horses, but only about politics.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 16:35

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Telepathic control of birds but they constantly poo poo on everything you love.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 16:36

Karate Bastard

You are extremely good at drawing furry porn. When you draw furry porn, birds fall quiet, men and women hold their breath, and the lion lays down by the lamb.

Karate Bastard fucked around with this message at 16:48 on Dec 8, 2018

# ? Dec 8, 2018 16:45

Zorblack: And with strange aeons, even death may eat a burrito with goons.

Karate Bastard posted:

You mean like you're knurd?

Oh, oh, oh!

You fart conflagrations.

I love that you referenced the state of being knurd, and I want you to know that I was happy to see it.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 17:09

Karate Bastard

Also the farting conflagrations bit was brought to you inspired by a work of the same author.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 17:16

Karate Bastard

You can suck an oak tree clean out of the ground and you have extremely poor impulse control.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 17:34

Space Taxi

You can talk to fish but even they find you boring.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 23:56

Zorblack: And with strange aeons, even death may eat a burrito with goons.

Karate Bastard posted:

Also the farting conflagrations bit was brought to you inspired by a work of the same author.

Farting swamp dragons?

# ? Dec 9, 2018 01:59

Karate Bastard

Indeed!

Clothes are invisible to you.

# ? Dec 9, 2018 09:54

Karate Bastard

Secretly, you are a highly coordinated troupe of eels wearing a skin suit.

# ? Dec 9, 2018 11:17

Karate Bastard

You are immune to the black plague. You also carry the black plague.

# ? Dec 9, 2018 13:02

Manifisto

I can cast "reveal skeleton" on myself but it only works the once

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Dec 9, 2018 15:36

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Manifisto posted:

I can cast "reveal skeleton" on myself but it only works the once

Whereas you have unlimited casts of �locate hand�. Magic doesn�t make a whole lot of sense sometimes.

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Dec 9, 2018 19:31

Space Taxi

You have an ESP sense of the fullness of people's bowels.

# ? Dec 10, 2018 00:55

google THIS

Space Taxi posted:

You have an ESP sense of the fullness of people's bowels.

Become the world's best gastroenterologist.

# ? Dec 10, 2018 02:25

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

You're really really really good at programming but have incredible body odor. Also your name is Richard Stallman.

# ? Dec 10, 2018 03:30

Manifisto

you will never starve because you can eat literally anything and it will taste like bananas. however literally everything will taste like bananas.

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Dec 10, 2018 04:12

alnilam

Manifisto posted:

you will never starve because you can eat literally anything and it will taste like bananas. however literally everything will taste like bananas.

listening to hollaback girl sobbing your eyes out wondering what it all means

# ? Dec 10, 2018 04:20

Manifisto

alnilam posted:

listening to hollaback girl sobbing your eyes out wondering what it all means

literal lol

# ? Dec 10, 2018 04:24

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

immense, superhuman strength but only in your pelvic floor muscles

# ? Dec 10, 2018 07:09

TOOT BOOT

Your poop has magical healing properties when eaten but still smells and tastes like poop

# ? Dec 10, 2018 07:13

Karate Bastard

You are -by far- the world's loudest yodler.

# ? Dec 10, 2018 15:47

google THIS

You have super strength, flying, and near invincibility, but it's powered by the public humiliation of your alter ego and would be nullified if you ever revealed your secret identity.

# ? Dec 10, 2018 17:16

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

You have unlimited super powers and crippling agoraphobia!

Your only option is to call out villians and DARE them to "come at you". In your house. Not the backyard or the front porch, though- they have to come inside. And they have to ring the doorbell, too or your panic attack could bring your house down around you...

# ? Dec 10, 2018 17:35

Karate Bastard

Finally an explanation for this bollocks

# ? Dec 10, 2018 19:36

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Karate Bastard posted:

Finally an explanation for this bollocks

HAHahahAHhahAhahAHAHAHahHAhahA

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Dec 10, 2018 19:46

Karate Bastard

Fun fact: that video is among the top five hits if I google "indecipherable bollocks"

# ? Dec 10, 2018 20:12

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Karate Bastard posted:

Finally an explanation for this bollocks

gently caress me I understood most of that

My superpower has been revealed: I speak Traveller cant :negative:

# ? Dec 10, 2018 20:54

Manifisto

Karate Bastard posted:

Finally an explanation for this bollocks

somehow I knew you were talking about that exact video

it's art, really

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Dec 10, 2018 22:18

Manifisto

hamjobs posted:

gently caress me I understood most of that

My superpower has been revealed: I speak Traveller cant

okay I get that it's a callout and they're extremely mad about something, but what are they so mad about??

# ? Dec 10, 2018 22:19

Karate Bastard

[inexplicable]

# ? Dec 11, 2018 00:08

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Manifisto posted:

okay I get that it's a callout and they're extremely mad about something, but what are they so mad about??

someone took off instead of doing the right thing by someone's sister and on top of that he threatened to beat someone's rear end but instead pissed off to another island (England)

# ? Dec 12, 2018 05:42

Karate Bastard

Wow that's some heavy stuff. And here I thought it was just something about kebabs.

Anyway that's your superpower, weird I know.

# ? Dec 12, 2018 07:03

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

you can time travel but only forwards in time and only at normal speed

# ? Dec 12, 2018 22:28

Karate Bastard

You can avert all kinds of malfeasance by making fast friends with the miscreants. You now live out your life surrounded by nazis and dipshits and florida men

# ? Dec 12, 2018 22:40

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 06:43

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

canyoneer posted:

you can time travel but only forwards in time and only at normal speed

holy shiy my car is a time machine :aaa:

# ? Dec 12, 2018 22:40

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > superpowers with inconvenient and upsetting side effects

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