superpowers with inconvenient and upsetting side effects

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Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

your superpower is that you can shoot lasers from your eyes but also it burns when you pee

your body was impervious to bullet, puncture and scrape wounds but you also had really bad eczema

teeth and jaw made of adamantium but erectile dysfunction

# ? Dec 6, 2018 18:30

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 10:27

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

you can run at speeds surpassing a bullet train but you have IBS

# ? Dec 6, 2018 18:31

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

heightened sense of sight, smell and hearing would be its own punishment but you also develop an unhealthy sexual relationship with your blender

# ? Dec 6, 2018 18:32

alnilam

Thanos but you've already signed away all the rights to your likeness to HRONIS grape corp so nobody fears you because they just think you're "the grape guy"

# ? Dec 6, 2018 18:41

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

wonder woman but every time she throws her golden lasso she experiences mild urinary incontinence

# ? Dec 6, 2018 18:51

Fredrik1: Gopherslayer

Space breath, you can breathe in space but you also can not figure out how to get back down.

# ? Dec 6, 2018 19:24

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

You get to have the acid spit; there isn't a bib in the world that can save your wardrobe, though.

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Dec 6, 2018 19:26

504: by R. Guyovich

Superman but nobody appreciates you because you "have it too easy" and all your friendships with other heroes fall apart when you reveal that along with all your other powers you also do their one thing better than they do

Somebody fucked around with this message at 19:40 on Dec 6, 2018

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Dec 6, 2018 19:28

alnilam

504 posted:

Thanks for posting in byob. Please read the rules thread

# ? Dec 6, 2018 19:39

Dungeon Ecology

you can talk with animals but only the really racist ones

# ? Dec 6, 2018 23:05

vanisher

alnilam posted:

Thanos but you've already signed away all the rights to your likeness to HRONIS grape corp so nobody fears you because they just think you're "the grape guy"

# ? Dec 6, 2018 23:37

google THIS

Batman, but your archenemy is also Batman so you both spend all day and night in your caves trying to out-contingency-plan each other.

# ? Dec 7, 2018 03:37

Zorblack: And with strange aeons, even death may eat a burrito with goons.

Superhuman strength but to maintain your powerful body you have to eat like 12,000 calories a day or you become weakened to the point of fainting. Wake up and eat. Eat while driving. Slam a protein shake before a fight. Pound a couple whoppers while interviewing with the local news.

# ? Dec 7, 2018 05:02

Zorblack: And with strange aeons, even death may eat a burrito with goons.

Superhuman speed for up to five hours, but the longer you push it, the longer you experience symptoms similar to meth withdrawal afterwards.

# ? Dec 7, 2018 05:07

vanisher

I can type really fast but I end up with carpal tunnel

# ? Dec 7, 2018 08:11

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

I can fly, but it gives me mono

Can breathe underwater, but get explosive diarrhea

Invisibility, but there's a loud beep if I back up

# ? Dec 7, 2018 08:29

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

Invisibility, but it tickles

# ? Dec 7, 2018 08:35

WindmillSlayer

you can make posts with your mind
, But they are bad

# ? Dec 7, 2018 09:31

Stooge

You can pull off cool trickshots like chucking a can into a bin from 50ft away, but nobody is ever watching.

# ? Dec 7, 2018 10:29

Stooge

Can create an unlimited amount of icecream at will.

Using your power gives you lactose intolerance.

# ? Dec 7, 2018 10:39

super sweet best pal

You can control plants and make them grow really fast but only ones you're allergic to.

You can shapeshift into animals but your apartment has a no pets clause.

Talk to inanimate objects but they don't say anything useful as they're stricken with the horror of their sudden sapience.

# ? Dec 7, 2018 13:01

Barking Gecko: Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

You can teleport, but there's a 50-50 chance your clothing will be left behind.

# ? Dec 7, 2018 19:03

Zorblack: And with strange aeons, even death may eat a burrito with goons.

Barking Gecko posted:

You can teleport, but there's a 50-50 chance your clothing will be left behind.

I like those odds.

# ? Dec 7, 2018 20:27

google THIS

Just be already naked, problem solved.

# ? Dec 7, 2018 20:36

bare bottom pancakes: Production: Complete

how convenient that i wont have to strip when i arrive :grin:

# ? Dec 7, 2018 21:11

Space Taxi

You have superhuman muscle strength but normal joints, so whenever you try to impress girls by lifting a truck you just rip your arms off. (Goth girls are into it)

# ? Dec 7, 2018 22:55

Karate Bastard

Can sleep through anything

# ? Dec 7, 2018 22:57

Barking Gecko: Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

Can read minds, but it only works on politicians, religious zealots, and telemarketers.

# ? Dec 7, 2018 23:41

Karate Bastard

Ok but get this: can read minds, but it also works on politicians, religious zealots, and telemarketers. Pretty insufferable huh?

# ? Dec 7, 2018 23:44

Barking Gecko: Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

Going well beyond inconvenient and upsetting to horrific:
Reads minds.
All the time.
Can't be selective.
Can't turn it off.

Can't forget.

# ? Dec 7, 2018 23:53

Karate Bastard

Telepath, but can only broadcast

E: while farting

# ? Dec 7, 2018 23:53

alnilam

Karate Bastard posted:

Telepath, but can only broadcast

E: while farting

everyone always hearing "aaah yeah" in their heads an not sure why

# ? Dec 7, 2018 23:55

Karate Bastard

Can only see through walls

# ? Dec 7, 2018 23:56

Karate Bastard

Titanium stomach: can eat actual garbage with no ill effects

# ? Dec 8, 2018 01:19

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Super fast healing but chronic halitosis so bad you can smell it from another room over

# ? Dec 8, 2018 02:10

super sweet best pal

google THIS posted:

Just be already naked, problem solved.

What if you lose your powers while naked?

# ? Dec 8, 2018 03:20

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

What if your superpowers only manifest when you're naked but you're perceived as horribly unattractive in different ways by everyone

Also your dick is bent in a weird way and it's not conducive to good sex

# ? Dec 8, 2018 03:45

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

You have the power of sobriety, no matter what substance you inject, but you end every sentence with the third step prayer.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 09:08

Karate Bastard

You mean like you're knurd?

Oh, oh, oh!

You fart conflagrations.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 10:01

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 10:27

Karate Bastard

Also you are acutely risk aware, always knowing exactly the full range of horrific consequences that may follow each course of action, and to an exactitude of ten decimal places of probability. This awareness manifests as stomach cramps. The thought of buying ice cream gives you cold sweats.

# ? Dec 8, 2018 10:16

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > superpowers with inconvenient and upsetting side effects

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