- Karate Bastard
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You sort of can't see people, but you can see their cancers.
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Dec 8, 2018 10:28
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 11, 2024 12:39
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- drilldo squirt
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a beautiful, soft meat sack
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You can make an exact copy of you wherever you desire but you also die and your copy is unaware of this.
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Dec 8, 2018 12:35
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- Karate Bastard
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You have a million billion teeth that never stop growing and you constantly have to gnaw poo poo to file them down lest you suffocate on them. You can bite through suspension cable.
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Dec 8, 2018 16:23
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- Fredrik1
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Gopherslayer
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You can talk to horses, but only about politics.
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Dec 8, 2018 16:35
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- Karate Bastard
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You are extremely good at drawing furry porn. When you draw furry porn, birds fall quiet, men and women hold their breath, and the lion lays down by the lamb.
Karate Bastard fucked around with this message at 16:48 on Dec 8, 2018
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Dec 8, 2018 16:45
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- Zorblack
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And with strange aeons, even death may eat a burrito with goons.
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You mean like you're knurd?
Oh, oh, oh!
You fart conflagrations.
I love that you referenced the state of being knurd, and I want you to know that I was happy to see it.
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Dec 8, 2018 17:09
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- Karate Bastard
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You can suck an oak tree clean out of the ground and you have extremely poor impulse control.
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Dec 8, 2018 17:34
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- Space Taxi
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You can talk to fish but even they find you boring.
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Dec 8, 2018 23:56
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- Zorblack
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And with strange aeons, even death may eat a burrito with goons.
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Also the farting conflagrations bit was brought to you inspired by a work of the same author.
Farting swamp dragons?
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Dec 9, 2018 01:59
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- Karate Bastard
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Indeed!
Clothes are invisible to you.
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Dec 9, 2018 09:54
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- Karate Bastard
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Secretly, you are a highly coordinated troupe of eels wearing a skin suit.
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Dec 9, 2018 11:17
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- Karate Bastard
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You are immune to the black plague. You also carry the black plague.
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Dec 9, 2018 13:02
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- Space Taxi
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You have an ESP sense of the fullness of people's bowels.
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Dec 10, 2018 00:55
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- google THIS
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You have an ESP sense of the fullness of people's bowels.
Become the world's best gastroenterologist.
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Dec 10, 2018 02:25
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- alnilam
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you will never starve because you can eat literally anything and it will taste like bananas. however literally everything will taste like bananas.
listening to hollaback girl sobbing your eyes out wondering what it all means
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Dec 10, 2018 04:20
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- TOOT BOOT
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Your poop has magical healing properties when eaten but still smells and tastes like poop
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Dec 10, 2018 07:13
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- Karate Bastard
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You are -by far- the world's loudest yodler.
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Dec 10, 2018 15:47
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- google THIS
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You have super strength, flying, and near invincibility, but it's powered by the public humiliation of your alter ego and would be nullified if you ever revealed your secret identity.
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Dec 10, 2018 17:16
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- Karate Bastard
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Finally an explanation for this bollocks
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Dec 10, 2018 19:36
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- Karate Bastard
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Fun fact: that video is among the top five hits if I google "indecipherable bollocks"
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Dec 10, 2018 20:12
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- Karate Bastard
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[inexplicable]
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Dec 11, 2018 00:08
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- Karate Bastard
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Wow that's some heavy stuff. And here I thought it was just something about kebabs.
Anyway that's your superpower, weird I know.
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Dec 12, 2018 07:03
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- canyoneer
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I only have canyoneyes for you
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you can time travel but only forwards in time and only at normal speed
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Dec 12, 2018 22:28
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- Karate Bastard
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You can avert all kinds of malfeasance by making fast friends with the miscreants. You now live out your life surrounded by nazis and dipshits and florida men
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Dec 12, 2018 22:40
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 11, 2024 12:39
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- Slush Garbo
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FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK
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you can time travel but only forwards in time and only at normal speed
holy shiy my car is a time machine
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Dec 12, 2018 22:40
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