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the gently caress did i do last night? i woke up in a giant 70's variety show bed with sixty other guys
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Jan 1, 2019 22:50
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Zyla posted:uh lemme know if you find my keys up inside don't have them but since they have been inside me I can 3d print you some new copies *bends over*
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Jan 1, 2019 23:01
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*crowd watching me poo poo objects out* "Now do a dodecahedron!!!"
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Jan 1, 2019 23:02
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blue squares posted:Ive never seen Idiocracy its good but it falls apart in the third act. mike judge gets way too much credit as a writer because his team did such a good job on king of the hill one time I was at a restaurant and sitting in the outdoor smoking section and some dipshit intern from koth started laying into me for having a smoke and he was all like, "How would you like it if I started pouring beer down your throat? There's a lady here." and i said "are you buying?" and then he recognized my aunt and started sucking up to her, the little worm
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Jan 1, 2019 23:10
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dads friend steve posted:My grandparents put sugar on spaghetti that's the secret ingredient to spapeggy and meatballs
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Jan 1, 2019 23:45
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PostNouveau posted:Cumshitter's aunt? Dame Judi Denchyes yes my name is cumshitter densche
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Jan 2, 2019 06:54
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my aunt was actually a minor 80's music star and every time I see her I rub it in in her face "Oh yeah, everybody wants to rule the world," I say to her whenever I see her
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Jan 2, 2019 06:57
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I left like a dozen voicemails on steve "no balls" scalises voicemail saying he sacrificed his eggs and shaft for nothing what a loving loser scalise is.
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Jan 2, 2019 07:02
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Bethamphetamine posted:please give me your aunt's digits because I want to take her down to pound town somethin' fierce, if she's in for it. i am proud that my aunt is fuckable.
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Jan 2, 2019 07:05
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"Hello, you've reached the office of Steve Scalise." "yeah so does he still have a dick? is it smoothe or is it like a little stump now?" "..." "..." "I'm not going to answer that question." "you have to. youre a public servant. could he even tickle my prostate with his little stump dick, assuming it exists?" -click-
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Jan 2, 2019 15:55
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tell that piece of poo poo with the man bun we dont negotiate with hipsters also wow pompeo is fat as poo poo.
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Jan 2, 2019 16:01
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Sir Tonk posted:https://twitter.com/GOPChairwoman/status/1080475217850519552 the main stream media media
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Jan 2, 2019 16:15
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a fun thing to do when you call GOP offices is to ask their name. just so you can be ruder to them "excuse me, what is your name?" "I'm bob." "ok, dipshit, tell me how many inches of dick does scalise have left?"
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Jan 2, 2019 16:21
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Crunchy Black posted:ya what is frenchies its when you love another man enough to put your tongue in their mouth
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Jan 2, 2019 16:36
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"Hello, Steve Scalise's office" "yeah i just wanted to know how much of a bitch it makes you if you work for a guy with no dick" "It's pretty good, how about yourself?" "i work for a woman" "..." "..."
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Jan 2, 2019 16:47
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"Hello, you've reached the office of Congressman Steve Scalise." "hi i wanted to know if you have metrics for tracking calls. like, what subjects callers call in about and whatnot." "Uhhh... I don't think we actually have that information." "oh. darn. i wanted to know how many calls you get about steve's dick stump. is it a stump or is he flat like a ken dolll?" -click-
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Jan 2, 2019 16:52
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*walks naked into an evangelical church, cum streaming out of my rear end* lol ur not xtians suk my dick. whose that twink on the stick up there?
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Jan 2, 2019 17:00
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ive been calling the federalist and leaving voicemails saying im a deliveryman from quiznos with an order for bre
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Jan 2, 2019 17:05
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DryGoods posted:show up to her funeral in a quiznos' uniform. when they're lowering the casket, toss a sub on top the funeral already happened but i dont see why we cant leave quiznos subs on her grave
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Jan 2, 2019 17:08
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Bearjew posted:would Quiznos deliver to the grave? maybe we can get a gig worker to take the photo this is why fiverr exists
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Jan 2, 2019 17:10
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confused grubhub delivery guy in a graveyard: bre? bre? BREEEEEEE???
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Jan 2, 2019 17:14
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i had gay sex with funkhouser. hes dead now so you just have to take my word for it
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Jan 3, 2019 00:37
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i have had gay sex with all of your favorite dead celebrities
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Jan 3, 2019 00:38
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Mayor Dave posted:You had gay sex with Hitler? yes. he was a generous lover. hsi tiny mustache tickled my taint so wonderfully. thats why he grew it dont be mean to me posted:hey, as long as they enjoyed- yes
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Jan 3, 2019 00:41
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Reality Winter posted:rock Hudson?? no he actaully was straight. all the other guys claiming they had sex with him are lying anyway im stealing this bit from liberace's boyfriend because he wrote a book talking about all the dead celebrities he had gay sex with including michael jackson
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Jan 3, 2019 00:45
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Yinlock posted:didn't this dumbass lose like 30 billion on the first day of his tariffs tariffs are taxes imposed on american citizens so basically hes bragging that people are paying more to buy foreign products and this is good because?????
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Jan 3, 2019 18:19
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one of my dads told me that a long time ago one of my ancesors was a straight woman but theres no loving way thats possible
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Jan 3, 2019 18:24
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god drat 4chan is thirsty for transsexuals
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Jan 3, 2019 21:01
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Zyla posted:no one nice says transsexuals anymore my dude its transpeople or my fav, transfolx oh didn't realize. never really comes up with my partner
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Jan 3, 2019 21:11
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i like the dorky chore chart for the big boy in the corner
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Jan 3, 2019 21:14
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i am from chicago and thsi is nasty, sick filth. mustard is the most erotic condiment
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Jan 3, 2019 21:32
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one time when iw as an aide to john kerry he and his wife tried to pull a house of cards on me and get me to sleep with them. i was into it until mrs. heinz pulled out a bottle of ketchup for lube bitch, im from chicago. i dont put ketchup in my mouth i sure as hell aint putting it in my rear end
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Jan 3, 2019 21:39
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H.P. Hovercraft posted:what if you simply kept the bottle closed when it went in "death before ketchup" -hizzoner da mare mare dailey
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Jan 3, 2019 21:54
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MysteriousStranger posted:When he got elected to the Senate Bush needled him at the event where new senators meet the president and the staff got some quotes, it leaked out that there was a physical altracation and Webb admits wanting to punch Bush, but the White House and nobody else will confirm anything beyond that other than that he left pretty quickly. lmao its gonna own if the secret service has to shoot one of trumps own advisors
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Jan 3, 2019 21:58
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lmao at the pictures of barack and barbara bush "im black and near you adn you cant do poo poo about it you hateful old bitch lmao"
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Jan 3, 2019 22:44
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fits my needs posted:the fundamentals standard pitch for me: -fundamentals are strong -time to buy/can only go up from here -shark or sheep? -are you seriously going to let your wife tell you what to do?
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Jan 3, 2019 22:52
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so wait what the hell happened trump showed up with a bunch of beefy bald guys and shouted about the wall for a few minutes and then left???
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Jan 3, 2019 22:53
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i jsut realized the black lines are the slats and it owns owns owns that the president is a moronic speed freak
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Jan 3, 2019 23:01
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 23:41 |
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i want the slat wall built but put some slats closer than others so i can gently caress the wall or put a big thing of wax paper on the slats like turning a comb into a kazoo
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Jan 3, 2019 23:09
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