OHPW - Business May Die [Fire Pro Wrestling World]

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IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

OHPW - Week 5: Gimmick Infringement (Twitch VOD)

Clips:
Match 1: https://clips.twitch.tv/DarlingCheerfulMomTF2John
Match 7: https://clips.twitch.tv/IgnorantKindZebraBrainSlug
Match 7 (Spoiler): https://clips.twitch.tv/SparklyClearDugongVoteNay

Match Card and Results posted:

This week we'll have our first show after the IHW Championship Tournament
It will, of course, take place in the usual place at the usual time

The Match Card is down below, featuring some people we know, some new faces and the beginning of the Vacant Open Challenge.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
DivineCoffeeBinge ("c") vs. N-T Punk
Just a few seconds to go! DCB goes for the roll-up! One... Two... NOOO! And then everybody explodes

Scene: Dash has a bit of a meltdown and promises a "big surprise"

#2 Battle Royal
Anna May vs. Boob Marley vs. Palpatine vs. Weeb Weaver vs. Harley Havik
First Harley gets eliminated with a screwy countoud where she only got thrown out of the ring when the count was nearing 20 already. Seconds after Weeb succumbed to Palpy's Imperial Powerbomb. Now it's a three way. They go and go, Palpy even hits the Galactic Elbow on Boob but ulitmately is the next to be eliminated by Anna May's Claw. From here Boob puts Anna into the Sunken Chest repeatedly but she does not surrender and makes Boob tap with another Claw to win the match.

#3 Singles Match
Grace Thoruson vs. Harmony Gray
Wow, what a brutal match. They hit each other hard and they never stopped. Neither of them actually hit their finishers. The match ended after a Kamigoye to Grace. She couldn't get back up. Harmony takes the win!

Scene: Harmony returns to Gorilla exhausted from her match and talks about how she loves fighting Harmony (even if it means getting hit very hard repeatedly)

#4 Tag Team Landmine Deathmatch
Lawful Good vs. Wizards Not Allowed
The heels Lawful Good vs. the heels Wizards Not Allowed fought and the match ended via illegal maneuvers leading into a pinfall, earning WNA the win.

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Hobo One Kevodki vs. Mr. Shakedown (c)
It took two elbow drops to the rear end and a wallet squeeze for hobo to tap out but that's a lot of punishment.

Scene: HazMatt comes to the ring, furious that Chief Engineer has a similar attire to him. He's so mad he requested a tag match of the Fallout Boys vs. No Wizards Allowed

#6 VACANT OPEN CHALLENGE
Vacation Skeleton vs. Vacant
Vacant claims their first victim. Vacation loses by TKO

#7 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Black vs. Pantha (c)
Another hard hitting match. Black never went for his finisher somehow, even late in the match. He'd probably have won if he'd used it. Pantha on the other hand was relentless, whipping out move after move, one more devastating than the other her final move was the Pantha Claw, Bkack refused to tap out and instead passed out.

# ? Feb 17, 2019 13:28

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# ? May 9, 2024 07:07

Manic_Misanthrope: Jul 1, 2010

3rd and 7th matches are definitely worth checking out if you've got the time. Really shows off what the Fire Pro AI can do even if it does make a couple of silly mistakes like running into things.

# ? Feb 17, 2019 13:53

Deadmeat5150: Nov 21, 2005; OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN

WNA had a good showing. Chief Engineer using his Toolbox (brass knucks) to win was perfect.

Chief's a technician too, so I was hoping for more reversals but Im guessing that comes with experience? I don't know how that works, Im just hoping.

# ? Feb 17, 2019 17:27

Manic_Misanthrope: Jul 1, 2010

Deadmeat5150 posted:

WNA had a good showing. Chief Engineer using his Toolbox (brass knucks) to win was perfect.

Chief's a technician too, so I was hoping for more reversals but Im guessing that comes with experience? I don't know how that works, Im just hoping.

Fight styles determine which moves take more stamina to do and how they pace their comebacks and a few other things. Techies can do Dragon Screws and dropkicks all day long but don't ask them to chokeslam a guy or they get gassed super fast. If anyone wants I can do an effort post on this.

# ? Feb 17, 2019 21:08

Deadmeat5150: Nov 21, 2005; OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN

Please do.

# ? Feb 18, 2019 03:28

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Just caught the replay and wow this has been the best week yet. That Grace and Harmony match was just vicious! Can't wait to see what else is in store for those two. Also that final match was some real Superstar performances. Love it!

# ? Feb 18, 2019 14:10

Manic_Misanthrope: Jul 1, 2010

Moves in Fire Pro Wrestling World are broken into categories:

quote:

Punch - Covers punches, slaps and chops

Kick - Martial Art kicks and combinations

Throw - Suplexes and Judo Throws

Joint - Submission holds that focus on arms or legs

Stretch - General submission holds, ranging from basic to conveluted

Power - Big, showy moves like Stunners, Powerbombs and Piledrivers. There's also the odd diving move like the backwards falling elbow drop.

Agility - Flippy and flashy. If it involves a jump it's likely to be an agility move.

Arm - Heavy clotheslines, power based submissions like the Sunken Chest and an array of lifting moves. A rule of thumb is "Does this big man move need Arm Strength or Core Strength?" to seperate from Power moves

Technical - roll-ups, dragon screws, snapmares. If its not a pin it's likely to hurt a limb but there's a few oddballs in here as well.

Rough - Sloppy strikes such as headbutts, painful looking stuff such as the Ushigoroshi, and all the cheats. Low blows, foreign objects and the poison mist.

MMA Overall - Takedowns, certain chokeholds and a lot of stuff that's used in the 3 MMA stances that most characters won't ever use.

Entertainment - Comedy spots. Magic spells, illusionary chairs and generally being silly.

Most moves will have a primary and a secondary category with both determining how much damage they'll do in relation to the wrestlers stats (Someone with 8 in Kick and 5 in Agility will still do a lot of damage with a Super Kick despite Agility being the primary category) and the primary determining how good of a fit it is for the various styles.
Any character can use any move, your 100lb soaking wet luchador can chokeslam everyone he comes across but it's going to tire him out fast. Likewise someone set to be a power wrestler will get tired if he tries to moonsault too many times but they'll still do it by golly. Fighting styles also determine how much stamina a wrestler will have at any one point and how far they can fly off the top rope so without further ado:

quote:

Orthadox - The "I can't think of anything better" style. They're effectively the baseline white-meat babyface wrestler: average jumping distance and will often bounce off the ropes when whipped into them but not always. They also get a bit of a comeback feature towards the end of the match combined with a decent stamina pool so they'll often do well in back and forth matches.
Good Moves: Entertainment, Technical
Bad Moves: Rough

Technical - Similar stamina and movement characteristics to the Orthadox style but with more focus on certain moves. Just in case Orthadox was too bland but something else was too extreme.
Very Good Moves: Technical
Good Moves: Agility, Throws, MMA Overall, Entertainment
Bad Moves: Kick, Arm
Very Bad Moves: Rough

Wrestling - A specialised style: they don't fly as far and will grab hold of the ropes compared to Orthadox wrestlers, they'll also burn through all their stamina fast and hope for a quick win by suplexing the ever loving crap out of their opponents. Missing top rope moves also hurts them a lot more because they neglect to learn how to fall off a 20ft ladder.
Very Good Moves: Throws, MMA Overall
Bad Moves: Power, Agility, Arm, Rough
Very Bad Moves: Kick

Ground - Submission specialists. They do submissions...and that's about it. They're crap at nearly everything else, poor cardio and a lack of general stamina but they can be good in MMA fights on top of being willing to go with the odd whip into the corner.
Very Good Moves: Joint, Stretch, MMA Overall
Good Moves: Technical
Bad Moves: Punch, Throw, Rough
Very Bad Moves: Kick, Power, Arm, Agility

Power - Power wrestlers are very common to find in the workshop because who doesn't want to throw fools around like rag dolls? Those Cruiser-weights can Cruiser-wait, brother! Too bad mad gains means that these guys and girls have poo poo for cardio and will get gassed pretty quickly even if they only do what they're good at and super quickly if they try reaching outside their wheel-house having one of the shortest dive distances in the game.
Very Good Moves: Power, Arm
Good Moves: Rough
Bad Moves: Throw, Joint, Stretch, MMA Overall
Very Bad Moves: Flippy poo poo (Kick, Agility, Technical)

American Do you like technical moves but feel that not being able to cheat effectively isn't worth the suplexes? Well the American Style has you covered with better brawling, good stamina management, further diving distance and a super-charged finisher that no-one* kicks out of! These guys really make the most of the odd-ball move categorisation such as the Spinebuster being an Agility move instead of a power move.
Very Good Moves: Rough
Good Moves: Agility, Technical, Entertainment
Bad Moves: Kick, Joint, Power

*terms and conditions apply, not valid near Cena or any Cena-like. Is actually a boosted chance to get a Critical on a Finisher.

Junior - The first of the true Flippy styles. Like the name suggests these guys and girls will act like a NJPW Junior-heavyweight with a decent variety of moves that they're good-to-great at, a guarantee to run the ropes when whipped, the joint-longest dive distance and a fuckton of stamina for comebacks and long matches.
Very Good Moves: Agility, Technical
Good Moves: Entertainment, Joint, Stretch
Very Bad Moves: Power, Arm

Luchador - More flips? But of course! These guys are like the Juniors but they'll get more tired towards the end... only to no-sell everything on a massive comeback. Just don't ask them to hit anyone without fitting a corkscrew senton in there.
Very Good Moves: Stretch, Agility, Technical
Good Moves: Entertainment
Bad Moves: Punch, Kick, Throw
Very Bad Moves: Power, Arm

Heel - Slow moving, cheating bastards. These ain't your chickenshit heels or your monsters, these guys just fight like such assholes it's no wonder the crowd boos them every time they taunt. They'll gas easily like power wrestlers and have a really short dive distance. They are the best users of weapons though.
Very Good Moves: Rough
Good Moves: Entertainment
Bad Moves: Agility, Joint
Very Bad Moves: Kick, Technical

Mysterious - Who could it be? Villainous flippy poo poo abounds with similar stamina to the Orthodox style but with a bit of added dive distance. Think of them as more specialised American style wrestlers
Very Good Moves: Agility, Rough
Good Moves: Technical
Bad Moves: Kick, Joint, Stretch, Power, Arm, MMA
Very Bad Moves: Entertainment.

*TRY TO AVOID USING THESE THREE UNLESS YOU ARE MAKING A DEDICATED MMA FIGHTER*

Shooter - This guy is a hybrid MMA/Wrestler from the early days of MMA where Ken Shamrock could be fighting in Japan either as a work or a shoot depending on the day of the week. These guys do not like being whipped around and will often try and no-sell. They're geared for an early burst through short rounds so they'll gas out if a match goes long. Also, don't ask them to do dives, they suck so bad at it.
Good Moves: Punch, Kick, Stretch, Joint, Throw, MMA Overall
Bad Moves: Rough
Very Bad Moves: Power, Agility, Arm, Technical, Entertainment

Fighter - These guys and girls got the wrong memo, this is wrestling: not kickboxing. They have atrocious cardio, won't run the ropes and can't dive for poo poo. But they can punch and kick really hard so that's great. Put them in the Dodecagon and you'll be fine.
Very Good Moves: Punch, Kick
Good Moves: Rough
Bad/Very Bad Moves: EVERYTHING ELSE (except MMA overall)

Grappler - Again, this is pro wrestling. Not a BJJ tournament. Even the Ground wrestlers knew how to work, jeez. Bad cardio, poo poo dive distance, goes all out at the start of a fight and gently caress your match ratings.
Very Good Moves: Punch, Joint, Stretch, Rough, MMA Overall
Bad Moves: Kick, Throw
Very Bad Moves: Power, Agility, Arm, Technical, Rough

And back to wrasslin'.

Panther - You know how Junior style didn't have enough going for it? Let's re-create Tiger Mask's ridiculous versatility and stamina. Joint furthest dive distance and stamina reserves out the wazoo. This style is pretty ridiculous as to how much stuff it gets that the main reason you go with Junior over it is for the lack of Roughhousing, meh ability at comedy spots and not wanting to wear a mask.
Very Good Moves: Kick, Agility, Technical
Good Moves: Joint, Stretch, MMA Overall
Bad Moves: Power, Arm
Very Bad Moves: Rough

Giant - Wrestling fans of old remember being awed by Andre the Giant, and also feeling sorry for him when his body gave out and he couldn't really move. Giants are the most immobile wrestlers, unable to do much beyond the basics. Walking can gas these guys out, but at least their counters are pretty OP if given the corresponding return style and look at the size of them!
Very Good Moves: Rough
Good Moves: Punch
Bad/Very Bad Moves: Everything else.

Vicious - Okay, so you want a shoot/MMA badass but want them to work a match? Antonio Inoki has you covered with this style dedicated to the mad man of Japan. Strong Style lives on with this style's good cardio (but poor diving) and babyface fire comeback. Make any MMA gimmick people this style if they're not Amateur wrestlers or suplex machines.
Very Good Moves: Stretch, Rough
Good Moves: Kick, Joint, Technical, MMA Overall
Bad Moves: Power, Agility
Very Bad Moves: Arm, Entertainment

Return styles will determine what moves you do when countering, for example a technicall return style will do flash pins when countering and will use a drop toe hold on a Test of Strength. These counters also use up stamina so make sure the return style matches or is at least close to the Fighting style (e.g. Junior/Luchador/Panther guys can mix and max) to maximize stamina and get the most out of your creations.

Also bear in mind that the appearance of a wrestler has 0 bearing on their stats. Go nuts with your giant Juniors or your 5ft tall powerhouses. Just make sure the styles and the moves work together in a destructive harmony.

# ? Feb 18, 2019 21:29

Nea: Feb 28, 2014; Funny Little Guy Aficionado.

Hey, uh, is it just me or is Vacant kind of a blackface caricature? With the big white lips on the all black everything.

# ? Feb 19, 2019 01:48

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Neopie posted:

Hey, uh, is it just me or is Vacant kind of a blackface caricature? With the big white lips on the all black everything.

You probably mean Black (Vacant doesn't even have a mouth, they are a dark gray silhouette like the one that often represents Vacant championships or unknown opponents). And of course not. He's kinda more like Venom and has essentially a giant white circle for a mouth. Or a more evil looking grin for bigger matches.

# ? Feb 19, 2019 06:38

Nea: Feb 28, 2014; Funny Little Guy Aficionado.

Yeah, I did mean that one. And I should be clear, I don't think that happened on purpose or anything.

# ? Feb 19, 2019 07:41

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

I got more of a Venom vibe too from Black than anything racial. Actually, it almost looks like someone just drew a face on him in white paint.

# ? Feb 19, 2019 15:21

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

It's time once more to wrassle!
We will do so at the usual time in the usual place

We'll have the promised Fallout Boys vs. Wizards Not Allowed match for the honor of HazMatts attire, the singles Debut of Harley Havik against newcomer Kayu Zakisaka, Mr. Shakedown faces his biggest challenge yet with Undeddie Guerrero. Can Shakedown resist catching and holding a chair within view of the ref? The Vacant Open Challenge continues and finally Kelsey Slaughter defends the Seven Deadly Pins Title.

I started gathering Highlight matches they don't have their own videos yet but you can still check them out. Eventually I'll make upload a video for heach highlighted match.

Here's the match card.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
DivineCoffeeBinge (c) vs. Boob Marley

#2 Singles Match
Harley Havik vs. Kayu Zakisaka

#3 Tag Team Match
Fallout Boys vs. Wizards Not Allowed

#4 Singles Match
Firestar vs. Palpatine

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Undeddie Guerrero vs. Mr. Shakedown (c)

#6 VACANT OPEN CHALLENGE
One unlucky fool vs. Vacant

#7 Seven Deadly Pins
Nawt a Robutt vs. Cocademon vs. King Skeleton vs. Great Maharaja vs. Fomore vs. Angus vs. IGgy IGsen vs. Kelsey Slaughter (c)

# ? Feb 20, 2019 18:43

Manic_Misanthrope: Jul 1, 2010

Oh how the mighty chest has fallen.

# ? Feb 20, 2019 18:52

Deadmeat5150: Nov 21, 2005; OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN

Camera fades in to a haggard looking Chief Engineer, sans helmet, smoking a fat home-rolled cigarette. He is sitting in a metal fold-out chair in a steamy boiler room. On a metal rack in the background, curled up like a sleeping cat, is a Cluwne.

Looks like someone thought it would be a good idea to put us up against Fallout Boy this week. Someone must have one hell of a cranial rectal inversion.

The Cluwne picks up its head.

*Honk*

Exactly, what he said.

Chief stubs the remains of the cigarette out on his palm then listen into the camera, jabbing his finger.

Well listen up, Fallout Boy! You were a lovely band while alive and you're a lovely band now! I don't care how many of you there are or if you bring your instruments. We're gonna mess you up so bad you're going to wish you had half the talent you think you have.

*Honk*

That's right... we will rock you!

Chief stands and kicks the chair away then walks into the steam, fading from view. The Cluwne unfolds like a horrible action figure and scrambles into a nearby ventalation duct.

# ? Feb 20, 2019 20:42

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

Manic_Misanthrope posted:

Oh how the mighty chest has ~~fallen~~ sunken.

There you go

# ? Feb 20, 2019 21:34

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here's the match card again:
#1 DivineCoffeeBinge (c) vs. Boob Marley for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Harley Havik vs. Kayu Zakisaka
#3 Fallout Boys vs. Wizards Not Allowed
#4 Firestar vs. Palpatine
#5 Undeddie Guerrero vs. Mr. Shakedown (c) for the Bunny Title :3
#6 Someone vs. Vacant
#7 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal feat. Kelsey Slaughter (c)

# ? Feb 23, 2019 22:45

Action Shakespeare: Mar 25, 2010; TIME magazine's Person of the Year 1996

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

There you go

Indeed

# ? Feb 24, 2019 11:23

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Week 6: I've Exploded Before (Twitch VOD)

Clips:
Match 4 (Outcome Spoiler): https://clips.twitch.tv/DarkCooperativeGoatDatBoi
Match 7 (Elimination Spoiler): https://clips.twitch.tv/PricklyBillowingKoalaFUNgineer
Match 7: https://clips.twitch.tv/IcyTubularEelTBTacoLeft

Match Card and Results posted:

It's time once more to wrassle!
We will do so at the usual time in the usual place

We'll have the promised Fallout Boys vs. Wizards Not Allowed match for the honor of HazMatts attire, the singles Debut of Harley Havik against newcomer Kayu Zakisaka, Mr. Shakedown faces his biggest challenge yet with Undeddie Guerrero. Can Shakedown resist catching and holding a chair within view of the ref? The Vacant Open Challenge continues and finally Kelsey Slaughter defends the Seven Deadly Pins Title.

I started gathering Highlight matches they don't have their own videos yet but you can still check them out. Eventually I'll make upload a video for heach highlighted match.

Here's the match card.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
DivineCoffeeBinge (c) vs. Boob Marley
It takes three Sunken Chests before DCB can't take it anymore. No victory for the Explosion. But unfortunately also no victory for DCB

Scene: Palpy tries to recuit Firestar and she seems to be on board but will make her decision based on how much fun she'll have in their match later on.

#2 Singles Match
Harley Havik vs. Kayu Zakisaka
This is the first singles match for Harley and the Debut for Kayu and they made sure to put on a clinic to let you know just how much potential they both have. Kayu wins the match via pinfall.

#3 Tag Team Match
Fallout Boys vs. Wizards Not Allowed
This is the result of HazMatt's challenge from last week, but it didn't end with Matt or Chief taking a lot of punishment, but with George Cluwney almost sneakily pinning Doc Mutant.

Scene: Not satisfied with this match Chief Engineer challenges Haz Matt to a singles match in a post match interview. It will take place at RAISE HELL and to make sure there's no interference it will be a cage match. How will this feud over who has the best hazmat suit end??? Tune in for RAISE HELL in two weeks. But also next week.

#4 Singles Match
Firestar vs. Palpatine
Nobody flies out and explodes but Mina gets extended time with The Dark Side which makes Palpy tap out.

Scene: Just Majestic Goat-Man and Vacation Skeleton having a chat backstage. Nothing unusual happens.

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Undeddie Guerrero vs. Mr. Shakedown (c)
Even though Undeddie tried to win by DQ like three times he proves that he really wants to earn the Bunny Title by not surrendering until he simply can't get back up anymore and Mr. Shakedown wins by pinfall.

#6 VACANT OPEN CHALLENGE
The Ego vs. Vacant
Ego loses, Vacant wins. The only reason I'm putting these foregone conclusions in spoiler tags is so when someone gets a fluke win over Vacant it'll still be a surprise to people.

Scene: The oRa 66 celebrate being three people again.

#7 Seven Deadly Pins
Nawt a Robutt vs. Cocademon vs. King Skeleton vs. Great Maharaja vs. Fomore vs. Angus vs. IGgy IGsen vs. Kelsey Slaughter (c)
First Fmore loving kills Angus for real just less than four minutes in. Next IGgy taps, then the reigning champ Kelsey gets pinned. Robutt is eliminated next also via pinfall, as is Cocademon and finally Fomore taps out both King Skeleton and Great Maharaja to become the new Seven Deadly Pins Champion.

# ? Feb 24, 2019 12:54

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

It's time for more OHPW in the usual place at the usual time.

Things are heating up as we get ready for RAISE HELL, the event where we raise hell. DCB tries once more to get rid of the Jabroni Royale against deathmatch wrestler Kelsey Slaughter in a Barbed Wire deathmatch with an explosion timer. 1 1/2 Dragons (Roy and Ryu) make their debut, Rosette and Flamander compete for a Hellweight title shot next week and Pineapple Pizza defend their Legion Titles against oRa 66.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
DivineCoffeeBinge (c) vs. Kelsey Slaughter

#2 Singles Match
Super Samio vs. Manic Misanthrope

#3 Tag Team Match
1 1/2 Dragons vs. Lawful Good

#4 Infernal Hellweight No. 1 Contender Match
Canada 'Rosette' Alderman vs. Flamander

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Vacation Skeleton vs. Mr. Shakedown (c)

#6 Vacant Open Challenge
Somebody with a death wish vs. Vacant

#7 Legion Tag Championships
oRa 66 vs. Pineapple Pizza (c)

# ? Feb 27, 2019 19:49

Sally: Jan 9, 2007; Don't post Small Dash!

In a dark corner of hell, the OHPW backstage camera crew has followed Dash into a sinister looking castle. It is there that Dash meets a figure from his past...

Hey, Doc? Doctor? Are you here? Hmm--I was assured he would be here...

A voice calls out from atop a flight of stairs, "hold on, hold on, I'm just getting out of the shower." Through a doorway appears a bespectacled old man with his long grey hair dripping down his terrycloth robe.

Who the--wait, is that Dash Rendar? What the gently caress are you doing here?

Doctor Chroniton, it's me, Dash Rendar!

I know. You're one of those idiot Star Wars people from my time in wrestling.

I'm the Star Wars man from back when we wrestled in New Super-League Wresting!

Oh my, you haven't changed. Well, if you want me to kick your rear end again, I'm afraid you're too late. I'm retired.

I need your help, Doc!

Again, I'm retired.

I knew I could find you in hell after that whole thing where Kid Knight fought and lost to the Devil Himself damning the entire NSLW to hell.

What? I was fired then, we all were. That's not how I got down here.

Well, now I'm in another wrestling league and I'm in a real bind.

Dash. Again. I'm retired, I'm not interested in wrestling--

I need to go into the time stream, Doc!

Go on, I'm listening.

You remember that Non-Linear Time Flow match we had?

The one where I beat you? Yes, go on.

Well, I wondered if you could help me get back into the time stream. I'm really hurting in the OHPW. I need... I need help. I need more Dash.

Twist my arm, you know I love futzing about with the time stream, Rendar. But aren't you worried this lore is all dangerously unrelated to the LPFWA/OHPW?

Dash turns and looks directly at the camera.

Whatever it takes, Doctor Chroniton. Whatever it takes.

# ? Mar 2, 2019 17:05

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here's the match card again:
#1 DivineCoffeeBinge (c) vs. Kelsey Slaughter for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Super Samio vs. Manic Misanthrope
#3 1 1/2 Dragons vs. Lawful Good
#4 Rosette vs. Flamander
#5 Vacation Skeleton vs. Mr. Shakedown (c) for the Bunny :3
#6 VACANT OPEN CHALLENGE
#7 oRa 66 vs. Pineapple Pizza (c) for the Legion Titles

# ? Mar 2, 2019 22:44

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

OHPW - Week 7: Bad Vacation (Twitch VOD)

Clips:
Match 4: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/389417826

Match Card and Results posted:

It's time for more OHPW in the usual place at the usual time.

Things are heating up as we get ready for RAISE HELL, the event where we raise hell. DCB tries once more to get rid of the Jabroni Royale against deathmatch wrestler Kelsey Slaughter in a Barbed Wire deathmatch with an explosion timer. 1 1/2 Dragons (Roy and Ryu) make their debut, Rosette and Flamander compete for a Hellweight title shot next week and Pineapple Pizza defend their Legion Titles against oRa 66.

Scene: Angus is still knocked out from last week, apparenlty. He's being woken up by a crew member and is asked to vacate the ring for the show that is about to start.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
DivineCoffeeBinge (c) vs. Kelsey Slaughter
Holy crap! Kelsey proves she's a deathmatch wrestler. Despite some bursts of offense from DCB she controlled the match until the end, winning via pinfall!

#2 Singles Match
Super Samio vs. Manic Misanthrope
We talked about NXT during this match then Manic won via pinfall as I was about to point out that he's ripping off King Skeleton's moves.

Scene: Goat-Man and Vacation Skeleton have a bit of a chat about their origin stories but they are interrupted by Malfest Goat-Monster manifesting in the room, viciously attacking Vacation Skeleton sending him flying across the room with a single strike.

#3 Tag Team Match
1 1/2 Dragons vs. Lawful Good
The newcomers take this one. After Ryu uses the Kaiser Claw on Lemuel he just can't kick out anymore.

#4 Infernal Hellweight No. 1 Contender Match
Canada 'Rosette' Alderman vs. Flamander
Flamander seemingly didn't take this match seriously at all while Rosette gave it all she had. It took almost twenty minutes before it was decided that Flamander would be facing Suzan Blades next week after beating Rosette via submission.

Scene: HazMatt comes out to the ring to raise the stakes for his match against Chief Engineer next week. He is demanding a mask vs. mask match.

#5 Bunny Championship :3
~~Vacation Skeleton~~ Nawt A Robutt vs. Mr. Shakedown (c)
Robutt brought in all the suplexes except for his Tokyo Thunderwave of Death but he was still bested by Mr. Shakedown. Who can stop this guy?

#6 Vacant Open Challenge
Kayu Zakisaka vs. Vacant
Kayu fought valiantly against Vacant but after the second time she was knocked down she could not get back up in time before the ref counted to ten.

Scene: Vacation Skeleton returns from the hospital and demands a match against Goat-Monster, but announces that like everything else he won't take it seriously. Goat-Monster agrees to murder Vacation Skeleton again next week.

#7 Legion Tag Championships
oRa 66 vs. Pineapple Pizza (c)
What a great match. Firestar and Angus proved that they can work as a team by finishing the match with stereo Ushigoroshis. Angus pins Pine Appel

Scene: Dash Rendar occupies the press conference stage and challenges the tag champs on his own to a title match next week. What an idiot.

# ? Mar 3, 2019 14:52

Procrastinator: Aug 16, 2009; what?

THIS ISN'T THE END OF THE CHEESY CHAMPS.

THE DOUGH SHALL RISE AGAIN.

# ? Mar 3, 2019 19:17

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

It's time for wrasslin' again in the usual place at the usual time.

This week we'll raise some hell!

We'll have Mask vs. Mask Match in which HazMatt and Chief Engineer try to settle their hazmat-suit related feud once and for all.
Vacation Skeleton will probably be destroyed by Malfest Goat-Monster.
Dash, that fool, is challenging the oRa 66 for the Legion Titles on his own.
And Flamander will take a shot at Suzan's OHPW Infernal Hellweight Title.
Among other things, of course.

Here's the match card:

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
DivineCoffeeBinge (c) vs. Super Samio

#2 Seven Deadly Pins (Interval Battle Royale)
Roy vs. Rick Wreckage vs. George Cluwney vs. Maya Northwind vs. Weeb Weaver vs. Inspector Jane vs. Palpatine vs. Fomore (c)

#3 Singles Match
Kayu Zakisaka vs. Black

#4 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Canada 'Rosette' Alderman vs. Pantha (c)

#5 Singles Match
Vacation Skeleton vs. Malfest Goat-Monster

#6 Bunny Championship :3
Anna May vs. Mr. Shakedown (c)

#7 Legion Tag Championships
Dash Rendar vs. oRa 66 (c)

#8 VACANT OPEN CHALLENGE
Someone vs. Vacant

#9 Cage Match - Mask vs. Mask
Chief Engineer vs. HazMatt

#10 OHPW Infernal Hellweight Championship
Flamander vs. Suzan Blades (c)

IGgy IGsen fucked around with this message at 16:59 on Mar 6, 2019

# ? Mar 6, 2019 16:54

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

On the one hand, I would really like to win one of these matches.

On the other hand, I get to be on every show... hmm......

# ? Mar 7, 2019 10:32

Manic_Misanthrope: Jul 1, 2010

Keep training. Eventually you will reach the heights of champion, and missing every other week.

# ? Mar 7, 2019 15:49

Deadmeat5150: Nov 21, 2005; OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN

This is only going to end badly for you, Hazard. Ive got decades of anger, bitterness. and supressed murderous intentions just waiting to come out. And while my Cluwne dismantles his opponents I'll be ripping that helmet off and cramming it up your rear end.

# ? Mar 7, 2019 16:15

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here's the match card again:
#1 DivineCoffeeBinge (c) vs. Super Samio for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Seven Deadly Pins Interval Battle Royal feat. Fomore (c)
#3 Kayu Zakisaka vs. Black
#4 Canada Alderman vs. Pantha (c) for the Darkweight Title
#5 Vacation Skeleton vs. Malfest Goat-Monster
#6 Anna May vs. Mr. Shakedown (c) for the Bunny Title :3
#7 Dash Rendar vs. oRa 66 (c) for the Legion Tag Titles
#8 VACANT OPEN CHALLENGE
#9 Chief Engineer vs. HazMatt (Mascara contra Mascara)
#10 Flamander vs. Suzan Blades (c) for the Hellweight Title

# ? Mar 9, 2019 22:44

Sally: Jan 9, 2007; Don't post Small Dash!

You got this, Dash!

# ? Mar 9, 2019 23:20

Sally: Jan 9, 2007; Don't post Small Dash!

You got this, Dash!

# ? Mar 9, 2019 23:20

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Week 8: RAISE HELL! (Twitch VOD)

Match Card and Results posted:

It's time for wrasslin' again in the usual place at the usual time.

This week we'll raise some hell!

We'll have Mask vs. Mask Match in which HazMatt and Chief Engineer try to settle their hazmat-suit related feud once and for all.
Vacation Skeleton will probably be destroyed by Malfest Goat-Monster.
Dash, that fool, is challenging the oRa 66 for the Legion Titles on his own.
And Flamander will take a shot at Suzan's OHPW Infernal Hellweight Title.
Among other things, of course.

Here's the match card:

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
DivineCoffeeBinge (c) vs. Super Samio
DCB is finally free of the barbed wire shackles of the Jabroni Royale, let's hope they don't hold down Super Samio for too long.

Scene: Dash has some hosed up dark summoning ritual to summon himself from the past to serve has his tag team partner against the oRa 66 later on.

#2 Seven Deadly Pins (Interval Battle Royale)
Roy vs. Rick Wreckage vs. George Cluwney vs. Maya Northwind vs. Weeb Weaver vs. Inspector Jane vs. Palpatine vs. Fomore (c)
We start with the champ, Fomore and the newcomer Maya Northwind in the match. One after another the others enter and fall. The final two are our champ, Fomore, and the newcomer Maya Northwind. Fomore is the first one to actually successfully defend the Seven Deadly Pins.

#3 Singles Match
Kayu Zakisaka vs. Black
Holy poo poo, Black squashed Kayu in just over five minutes.

#4 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Canada 'Rosette' Alderman vs. Pantha (c)
Going into this match knowing Pantha beat Black by making him pass out to the Pantha claw and that Black squashed Kayu in the previous match you assume that Pantha will have an easy time with Rosette. But it was Rosette who beat Pantha. This show is weird so far.

#5 Singles Match
Vacation Skeleton vs. Malfest Goat-Monster
With our luck Vacation Skeleton is gonna beat Goat-Monster... except he didn't. Goat-Monster wins with the MGM outta nowhere. Would have been one hell of a crappy debut for a monster heel if they can't even beat the comedy jobber.

#6 Bunny Championship :3
Anna May vs. Mr. Shakedown (c)
And here we have another upset. Anna May submits Mr. Shakedown with THE CLAW!!!

#7 Legion Tag Championships
Dash Rendar vs. oRa 66 (c)
Nobody had high hopes for the two Dash Rendars going into this match and thankfully they were thwarted by Angus and Firestar of the oRa 66

#8 VACANT OPEN CHALLENGE
The Great Maharaja vs. Vacant
Although Maharaja could not beat Vacant, he's the first one to knock him down hard enough for the referee to start the ten count. Maharaja was defeated via TKO.

#9 Cage Match - Mask vs. Mask
Chief Engineer vs. HazMatt
This feud has been heating up over the last few weeks, eventually they even raised the stakes to become a mask vs. mask match. They used the cage, they used the weapons until HazMatt put Chief into the Containment Unit to win by submission.

Scene: Chief begrudgingly removes his mask to reveal a regular-rear end dude underneath. One can only imagine what the nuclear wasteland did to HazMatt's skin but now we may never know.

#10 OHPW Infernal Hellweight Championship
Flamander vs. Suzan Blades (c)
As expected from these two they went hard. Suzan hit Knightfall twice on Flamander but he wouldn't stay down. Eventually he tapped out to the Hijack Backbreaker while not really hitting his own finisher.

# ? Mar 10, 2019 14:22

Zanzibar Ham: Mar 17, 2009; You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.; Grimey Drawer

I just wanna say that (Spoiler Warning for Seven Deadly Pins match) I'm really glad Roy ended up using his 1% Crit Chance before ever having used the normal version in a match, unless I somehow missed him using it last week even though I was looking for it? If I'm correct though then that's just peak Fire Emblem

# ? Mar 10, 2019 16:14

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

....holy poo poo what do I do with my hands

# ? Mar 11, 2019 01:17

Sally: Jan 9, 2007; Don't post Small Dash!

make some coffee?

# ? Mar 11, 2019 01:57

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

Blind Sally posted:

make some coffee?

I thought that went without saying!

# ? Mar 11, 2019 02:48

Manic_Misanthrope: Jul 1, 2010

"I must confess, last S�bado was not my best performance. I hold nothing against Rosette and wish her the best as new Darkweight champion, but do not think I am one loss and done. There are still fighters in the depth of Hell who I must prove my might against. Suzan Blades, Mr Shakedown, Anna May or even Vacant! If you have the misfortune of facing me, be warned that the claw hungers for new prey, do not think of yourselves as being above the Beast of the Ring!"

# ? Mar 12, 2019 20:03

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Our second PPV has concluded, so let's continue with the wrestling in the usual place at the usual time.

Here's our match card:
#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Super Samio (c) vs. Weeb Weaver

#2 Tag Team Match
The Fun Gang vs. Fallout Boys

#3 Singles Match
Undeddie Guerrero vs. Kayu Zakisaka

#4 Four-Way
N-T Punk vs. Hobo One Kevodki vs. Harmony Gray vs. Grace Thoruson

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Kelsey Slaughter vs. Anna May (c)

#6 Vacant Open Challenge
Uh oh... vs. Vacant

#7 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Manic Misanthrope vs. Canada 'Rosette' Alderman (c)

# ? Mar 13, 2019 22:18

Deadmeat5150: Nov 21, 2005; OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN

Finally caught the show. Dang the Cluwne had a great showing. I'm sad about Chief, though. He needs a different helmet now.

# ? Mar 14, 2019 09:32

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here's the match card again:
#1 Super Samio (c) vs. Weeb Weaver for the Jabroni Royale
#2 The Fun Gang vs. Fallout Boys
#3 Undeddie Guerrero vs. Kayu Zakisaka
#4 N-T Punk vs. Hobo One Kevodki vs. Harmony Gray vs. Grace Thoruson
#5 Kelsey Slaughter vs. Anna May (c) for the Bunny Title :3
#6 VACANT OPEN CHALLENGE
#7 Manic Misanthrope vs. Rosette (c) for the Darkweight Title

# ? Mar 16, 2019 22:44

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 9, 2024 07:07

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Week 9: Traitor (Twitch VOD)

A Clip from Match 5: https://clips.twitch.tv/StylishNimbleBaguetteGingerPower

Another fun show in the bag! I also collected the clips we had from episodes 1 through 8 into one video you can watch here

Match Card and Results posted:

Our second PPV has concluded, so let's continue with the wrestling in the usual place at the usual time.

Here's our match card:

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Super Samio (c) vs. Weeb Weaver
Unfortunately, Samio started bleeding early on while Weeb managed to avoid that entirely so they took the win. Samio retains the Jabroni Royale

#2 Tag Team Match
The Fun Gang vs. Fallout Boys
The Fallout Boys take their first actual tag team victory and The Fun Gang their second loss.

#3 Singles Match
Undeddie Guerrero vs. Kayu Zakisaka
After last week's showing Kayu has something to prove and although she couldn't win this match against Undeddie Guerrero she did put up quite a fight.

Scene: Flamander is just hanging out by himself in the corner of the locker room when Pantha shows up expressing interest in a debate. With fists. Nothing comes of it, yet.

#4 Four-Way
N-T Punk vs. Hobo One Kevodki vs. Harmony Gray vs. Grace Thoruson
Harmony and Grace favor each other early on but as the match progresses everybody goes against everybody else until Hobo manages to pin Harmony for the win.

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Kelsey Slaughter vs. Anna May (c)
Anna May retains after doing the anime dance on the outside. The madness. Well, actually it was after they got back in she did another anime dance followed by a twist cutter.

#6 Vacant Open Challenge
Flamander vs. Vacant
I don't think Vacant has ever been in this much trouble but it wasn't enough, Vacant still wins.

#7 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Manic Misanthrope vs. Canada 'Rosette' Alderman (c)
They have their match and it's good and everything but neither do their finishers. Then Canada does hers but it's not enough so they trade roll-ups but that's not good enough either so Rosette decides to just punch Manic's face in. Rest in peace, pal.

# ? Mar 17, 2019 14:00

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > OHPW - Business May Die [Fire Pro Wrestling World]

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