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When Patty and Selma are forced out of their apartment while it is being fumigated, they invite themselves over to stay in the Simpson home without asking, much to the anger of Homer. The twins light up cigarettes, causing Bart and Lisa to cough severely. Homer makes a deal: if they smoke at all during their uninvited stay, Patty and Selma must leave right away. Homer installs smoke alarms all over the house to ensure this. The twins go into a downstairs bathroom to smoke, seeing as Homer forgot to put a smoke alarm there, but they catch fire from the tap water. A gleeful Homer wastes no time kicking them out and dropping them off at a Dog Track, which they immediately take delight in due to the surrounding patrons' chain-smoking. Lisa informs Marge that the inflamed tap water is possibly a result of fracking, which she discovers that Mr. Burns is operating. She successfully calls on Democratic Assemblywoman Maxine Lombard to stop the fracking. Burns is furious at Lombard and storms into her office, but the two end up having sexual intercourse and vow to continue their romance despite their political differences. On learning that he must obtain the mineral rights to all land in Springfield in order to resume his fracking operation, Burns gives Homer the job of marketing it to the citizens of Springfield. At a Town Hall meeting, Professor Frink warns about water contamination, but Homer promises $5,000 to every person who gives their mineral rights to Burns. When he is about to resume the operation, Burns discovers that Marge did not give permission to him, and thus the project is abandoned, infuriating many residents who were looking forward to the money. Knowing that he will lose his new job, Homer is angry at Marge, and Burns breaks up with Lombard. Lombard takes revenge on Burns, demolishing his mansion to use the land for various liberal causes, including Robert Siegel's National Public Radio. Burns plans an even bigger vengeance, and resumes his hydraulic fracturing at maximum power, causing earthquakes in the city. Marge pleas with Homer to shut it down, and he lights the inflammable water to burn the fracking plant down. On seeing that Homer and Marge can reconcile despite their differences due to their passion, Burns and Lombard get back together. During the credits, Burns and Lombard are seen having a conversation while lying in bed with their tablet computers.
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Jan 9, 2019 03:32
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Homer becomes obsessed with a 1980s family sitcom called Thicker Than Waters and starts acting like the show's father. Emulating this character's values, he refuses to give Bart a mini-bike he wants, because Bart would never learn to appreciate things if they come to him too easily. Bart then realizes that he could sell secrets about the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant to other countries. He agrees to sell them to China in exchange for a mini-bike. To gain access to the nuclear plant's computer system, Bart begins doing typical father-son activities with Homer, eventually leading to Homer bringing Bart to work. When Homer falls asleep, Bart goes around the plant downloading information onto a USB storage device. After Bart leaves the flashdrive with the downloaded data at the zoo and takes the bike, Homer reveals to him that he has bought him a mini-bike for being such a good child. Bart, feeling bad for betraying his country and his father, rushes back to the zoo in attempt to recover the flashdrive. There he meets the Chinese agents, who threaten to kill him if he does not cooperate. Homer steps in and offers himself in Bart's place, as he has a lifetime of nuclear experience. In China, he leads the construction of a nuclear power plant, which explodes right after the grand opening ceremony. Back at the house, Bart tells Homer how much he appreciates him, and that they have "the best kind of bonding": sitting in front of the television while making no eye contact at all.
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Jan 9, 2019 03:35
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While putting Maggie to bed, Marge discovers Maggie is too clingy. After Maggie's attachment to Marge causes a jar of milk to be spilled, Marge attempts to email Creative Responses for Infant Edu-loving ("C.R.I.E.") pronounced as the word cry, a group which enables attached children to be more independent, with the intention of finding a counselor for Maggie. Meanwhile, Homer finds out the Kwik-E-Mart and Moe's Tavern do not have any more milk; Moe even charges him for accidentally serving him white paint, so he takes a trip past Shelbyville and Ogdenville to Guidopolis, a sleazy-looking town populated by Italian-American stereotypes. He goes to the "Mook-E-Mart", purchases milk, and winds up having his car towed by a man named Louie. After noticing Homer's fascination with towing, Louie releases Homer's car and introduces him to the joy of towing cars for a living. Louie decides to help Homer become a tow truck driver, if, and only if, Homer will "stay off his turf". Homer agrees, and becomes Springfield's official tow truck driver. At home, a CRIE woman arrives to help with Maggie's independence. After the woman orders Marge to leave Maggie alone in the room, Maggie's crying makes Marge desperate to hug Maggie; when the woman explains that "hugs are drugs, and Maggie is addicted", Marge ignores her, kicks her in the groin, and rushes to the living room to find a newly independent Maggie spelling IMOK ("I'm Okay") on her building blocks. Later, a more independent Maggie climbs on a table leg in the kitchen, picks up a book and banana and seats herself in her high-chair, much to Marge's sad disappointment that she is no longer needed. After towing the Rich Texan's limo, a newly successful Homer goes so far as to tow down Arnie Pie's helicopter. After a brief celebration at Moe's, he then tows Lenny's car, Principal Skinner's car, and even the Sunday School bus (which he tows with the kids still in it), causing Ned to sardonically call Homer, "Towmer". The residents of Springfield become frustrated with Homer's continuing towing antics, prompting them to plan revenge upon him, with invaluable help from Agnes Skinner, a four-time widow — on the last three occasions, by tow truck drivers. After leaving a car in Guidopolis, they spray on a handicap parking logo, stuff multiple tickets under the windshield wipers, leave it beside a fire hydrant, and attach an incomprehensible license plate. They cover the Guidopolis city limits sign with one saying "You're still in Springfield", with the intention of luring Homer to Guidopolis, where Louie had forbidden him to go. At home, Maggie makes a baby book including her toenails and hair. After seeing her more independent, Marge begins to miss her, so she bonds with a sack of potatoes. At Guidopolis, however, Homer is abducted by Louie who keeps him in his basement with other tow truck drivers who trespassed his area, where he bonds with them. Homer's absence causes parking pandemonium. Lenny and Carl smugly park their GMC in the handicapped area, prompting an angry, handicapped Mrs. Skinner to park sideways. Rainier Wolfcastle parks his Hummer on top of her in spite. Duffman lowers his blimp into a no-parking zone, where it is shot by the Sea Captain, causing it to deflate onto the pavement. A train engineer however, crashes through it all. Marge, meanwhile worries about Homer, who has not returned home for four days. Maggie, worried for her father and mother's happiness, uses her newfound independence to save Homer by riding Santa's Little Helper like a horse through the night to Guidopolis. A humble Maggie rescues all the tow truck drivers from the cellar by attaching Louie's towhook to the cellar window bars (unbeknownst to Louie) and returns home with Homer (as a reward, Homer gives Maggie back her "nose", but gives her Lisa's instead). After giving the sack of potatoes a punch, Maggie gives Marge her pacifier and hugs Marge, reuniting with her.
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Jan 9, 2019 03:44
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Absurd Alhazred posted:After Maggie's attachment to Marge causes a jar of milk to be spilled,
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Jan 9, 2019 03:46
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FactsAreUseless posted:This is the most insane use of passive voice I've ever seen Half of it is how unhinged the show's writing got, half of it is whoever is doing the plot summaries.
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Jan 9, 2019 03:48
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The family goes to a magic-themed restaurant. While there, Marge gets drunk on Long Island Iced Teas and Bart becomes so fascinated with magic that he buys a magician's kit from the gift shop. On the way home, a sturgeon falls from the sky (implicitly from the space station Mir) onto the family car's hood, which is severely damaged. Homer and Bart start their magic show as a way to make money, but the act becomes a failure, and Homer leaves Bart to do the rest of the act on his own. Bart is left out on the street, and people begin giving him money so he can get home on public transportation. As Homer drives home, he sees Bart in a taxi, and when he gets home he sees him eating a steak dinner. They decide they can make money grifting, however Marge and Lisa begin suspecting of them after they "worked" without Bart's kit, which they both left behind at home. Homer and Bart continue to grift after they have fixed the car, and Grampa volunteers to help them grift, since he was a con-artist during the Great Depression. Grampa, Homer and Bart grift the residents at the Springfield Retirement Castle. While performing the grift, they are arrested by an FBI agent. When Homer and Bart get to jail, they realize the FBI agent himself is a con man, and conned them out of their money and the car. Homer and Bart say the car was stolen in the church parking lot. The next morning they are surprised however to learn that Groundskeeper Willie was arrested for stealing the car, as he matched the description they gave of the carjacker as a "foreign loner with wild, bushy hair". Not wanting to admit they were conned, Homer and Bart go along with Marge's theory. At the trial, the Blue Haired Lawyer leads Homer to say that it was Willie who stole the car. After Willie is proven guilty, he snatches Wiggum's gun and shoots Principal Skinner. At this point Homer finally confesses that he got conned but Marge and the townspeople themselves tell Homer and Bart that they set up the trial and the carjacking to teach them a lesson on conning people, revealing that Skinner was not really shot (it was a fake blood pack), the judge was Grampa wearing a latex mask, and the con man who stole their car was an actor called Devon Bradley. As Lisa is ready to explain why the town, media and police officials had "nothing better to do" than show them the consequences of their actions, Otto runs through the courtroom doors, shouting, 'Surf's Up!'. The scene then cuts to Springfield at the beach, with characters from the episode surfing, including the waiter from the restaurant, the two astronauts from the Mir space station and the sturgeon swimming in the sea.
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Jan 9, 2019 03:49
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Homer decides to give Marge a koi pond for their anniversary, but an endangered "Screamapillar" takes refuge in the pond. Bound by law not to disturb it, Homer accidentally injures the loud, unsettling insect larva and is sentenced to two weeks of community service. Homer begins delivering Meals on Wheels to an elderly woman, Mrs. Bellamy, who takes a liking to him. She subtly guilt trips Homer, and later Marge, into becoming her personal servants. When Mrs. Bellamy turns up dead, having been stabbed with a pair of scissors, Homer and Marge are the prime suspects in the murder, even though they witnessed a man with braces leaving the murder scene, with Mrs. Bellamy's necklace. The people of Springfield are very suspicious of Homer and Marge, and Chief Wiggum does not believe their story. Finally, during an inspection of the house, Maggie is found with Mrs. Bellamy's stolen necklace. Bart, Lisa and Maggie are adopted by Cletus Spuckler, who decides to change their names to "Dingus, Squatford Junior and Pamela E. Lee". Despite no lie detector or DNA test being given, both are sentenced to death in the electric chair. In a bid to spare Marge, Homer says that he acted alone. As he is sitting in the electric chair, it is suddenly revealed to Homer that he is on a new reality TV show, Frame Up that airs on Fox TV. The whole thing was just part of an elaborate hidden camera scheme, the man with the braces was the show's host, and Mrs. Bellamy is guest host Carmen Electra in disguise. Homer and Marge are reunited with the kids, but Homer is infuriated that he had to suffer so the show could get higher ratings. Carmen Electra tries to explain, but Homer is too busy staring at her chest. Chief Wiggum, on the other hand, is annoyed that the police department's time was wasted on what turned out to not even be a real case, but he learns he will be in the show and Eddie and Lou will be given producer credits.
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Jan 9, 2019 03:50
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Mine aren't that funny but I like that they have the same dumb ending.
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Jan 9, 2019 03:51
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The Comic Book Guy charges Milhouse $25 for accidentally ruining a Wolverine comic book when one of his tears drops on its cover and smudges one of Wolverine's sideburns after being scratched by the comic's infamous "pop-out claws" feature at The Android's Dungeon. After Bart proclaims that the events in comic books are not "real", Comic Book Guy tells him and the other children to get out of the store, just as a new comic book store, "Coolsville Comics & Toys" opens across the street. When the children arrive at Coolsville, the store owner, a hipster named Milo, gives them Japanese candy and invites them to his grand opening. The store is filled not only with comic books, but also with video games and modern art, giving it a sophisticated arcade look. When Lisa accidentally rips a page of an Adventures of Tintin book, Milo assures her that the books are meant to be read and enjoyed. The store becomes even more popular, playing host to Art Spiegelman, Daniel Clowes and Alan Moore, who all visit for a book signing. Comic Book Guy jealously tries to sabotage Milo's popularity by revealing he has a girlfriend (whom they have already accepted for she, like Milo, is hip) and bribing the children with "Japanese weapons". When this does not work, Comic Book Guy tries to use the weapons to destroy Coolsville, but is subdued by the three authors who remove their shirts to reveal muscular super-hero physiques. After comparing herself to a cardboard cutout of Wonder Woman, Marge decides to become slimmer. While exercising at a large gym, she struggles with the treadmill and is embarrassed showering in public, and as a result decides to open a gym for ordinary women. Comic Book Guy, having finally given up, closes the Android's Dungeon which Marge then acquires in order to open "Shapes", a women-only workout center that is an immediate hit. Many women of Springfield comment on Marge's efforts; she opens another location at an abandoned Krusty Burger. After an interview on the women's television show Opal, Marge becomes an international hit. Homer and Marge go on a luxury vacation at a hotel. Homer meets a group of three strapping young men who tell him he is on "wife support". They are all "trophy" husbands and convince Homer that Marge will soon dump him for a healthier man. They list the stages that will occur in their marriage before Marge dumps him. As these begin to occur, Homer overhears Marge talking to a group of women about dumping something. Homer assumes it is him, although she is actually talking about her purse. One of the three younger men tells Homer he is actually a first husband who used to be fat and ugly, but transformed himself through fashion, diet and exercise. Homer, however, decides that he needs to get cosmetic surgery. Homer attempts to win Marge back by having his stomach stapled. He is now much slimmer and has to liquify his food. Homer lures Marge into bed and turns her on, but has to make sure only his front is exposed as all of his excess skin is tied back behind him. Next, Homer gets extreme plastic surgery done. When finished, Homer looks entirely different; he is slim with well-defined musculature, narrower eyes, and a full head of black hair, and his tear ducts have been moved to his nipples among other things. At a ceremony in which Mayor Quimby rewards Marge for her work with Shapes, Homer arrives in his new form, much to the shock and disgust of the town. Quimby orders the town to bring pitchforks and attack Homer. Homer and Marge run to the top of Springfield's Notre Dame tower and Marge, saying she wants a trophy husband, deliberately pushes Homer off the tower. Homer wakes up in the hospital, back to his old self. Marge informs him that after he was knocked out, the surgeon requested her permission for the surgery and she refused; everything from Homer's surgery to his "death" was just a dream. She had the doctor reverse Homer's stomach stapling, since she loves him no matter how he looks. The episode ends with Moore, Spiegelman, and Clowes watching Homer and Marge from mid-air. They notice that a meteor is headed for Earth, but become distracted by news of a convention for underpaid writers. They fly away and allow the meteor to strike.
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Jan 9, 2019 03:55
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Homer leaves work, and when he is reminded that his diet is starting on the first day of the month (which is that day), he decides to have one last binge at Springfield's Fast-Food Boulevard. After filling up, he decides to throw away his wrappers and the contents of his car in a trash can outside of a Krusty Burger, tossing away a leaky battery and a lit match. The acid from the leaky battery eats a hole in a gas main, with the lit match igniting the gas and starting a fire which soon causes nearby gas pipes to explode, completely destroying Fast-Food Boulevard. At a town hall meeting, the enraged residents of Springfield demand that Fast-Food Boulevard be rebuilt immediately. To fund the reconstruction, a bond measure is proposed. As the next election isn't until June the next year, Mayor Quimby moves it to the upcoming Tuesday, making Springfield's presidential primary the first in the nation. Candidates and reporters head to Springfield when they hear the news. The candidates flock to the Simpsons, who are undecided. Their home is filled with people and their yard is covered with reporters; helicopters and news vans surround the lot. When voting day arrives, an angry Homer and other citizens hold a meeting in Moe's Tavern. Homer suggests the people vote for the most ridiculous candidate, whom they choose after Chief Wiggum suggests himself. The same night, Kent Brockman announces an unexpected turn of events; Springfield has rejected all the leading candidates and voted for 8-year-old Ralph Wiggum. He wins the primary, much to the shock of Lisa Simpson. Ralph is immediately embraced as the leading candidate, and Homer and Bart become his fans. Lisa, however, is miserable, as she knows how slow Ralph is. A news report (called Headbutt) shows Ralph has no idea of which party's nomination he is seeking. Both the Democratic and Republican parties contend to secure Ralph as their candidate. The leaders of both parties break into Ralph's home, wanting to fight for him. Lisa confronts Ralph amongst the media frenzy, attempting to convince him not to run. Ralph tells Lisa he wants to run so he can bring peace between warring parties and his earnest kind heartedness wins her support. He is proven to be a formidable candidate, and both the Republicans and the Democrats support Ralph for president. The episode ends with a political commercial for Ralph, sponsored by both parties.[1]
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Jan 9, 2019 04:00
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Returning home with Maggie from errands, Marge discovers that a part of Springfield is now totally destroyed. As Chief Wiggum announces that Bart could be the culprit, Bart says that he wasn't implied at all in the incident. This prompts Marge to follow Bart everywhere until he confesses. However, Bart seems not to know what Marge is talking about. Marge eventually is fed-up and gives up her plan. It's then revealed that Bart was really culprit and he plans to create a new incident, but his conscience eventually wins and he finally admits his fault. Chief Wiggum then arrests Bart but allows him to give a hug to Marge. Meanwhile, Homer learns that Flanders got a new female puppy dog named Baz. Though Homer isn't her owner, he eventually bonds with this dog, ignoring Santa's Little Helper. This saddens Flanders and he chooses to give the dog to his neighbor, much to his and his son's chagrin. However, Homer advises him to keep it since he will be a better owner than him, who in Baz's eyes, is just an another dog with whom she can play. The episode finishes with Santa Little's Helper and Baz preparing to fight in a Far West Style.
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Jan 9, 2019 04:09
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Having lost everything to Jay G, and with Smithers still in Canada, Mr. Burns finds that the only person still loyal to him is Homer. Homer consults with Marge if he should continue to work at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, which is now under Jay G's ownership, and learns that life in the Springfield Hamptons has driven Marge to open a small store specializing in adorable items. Since the family can't live off the store, Homer has no choice but to betray Mr. Burns and resume working at the plant, where Jay G has him throw out the remaining items from Mr, Burns' office and dismantle the trap door in his office as the last remnant of Mr. Burns' power. Jay G says Homer has proven himself and plies him with an unending supply of delicious cobblers (including pineapple). Remorseful, Homer goes to Springfield Cemetery to vomit in an open grave and finds Mr. Burns commiserating at his family mausoleum. Homer vows never to return to the plant and help Mr. Burns get back at Jay G. The following night, Homer and Mr. Burns are plotting their scheme when they discover that Bart has been spying on them. Since Homer never told Marge what he has been up to, Homer gets the idea to let Bart help them get their revenge, and Bart gets Milhouse to use his "white nerd" knowledge of rap history to research Jay G's background and find a way to ruin his reputation. As Milhouse presents his findings, Bart recognizes the candle salesman he met earlier, and Milhouse tells him that he is Jay's former writer, Jazzy James, who fell into obscurity after a falling-out. The group visits Jazzy, who explains that he wrote all the material for Jay G's first album, but couldn't make any money off it due to being forced to sign over all the rights. Jazzy is hired by the group to write a revenge rap directed at Jay G. Homer visits Marge's store again and finds that she has become unhinged from running the store. Homer and Bart learn that she has been affected by the "curse of the adorable little store", as stores like Marge's exist since rich people want a place for their friends to hang out after spin class. Meanwhile, during a break from recording sessions for the revenge rap, Mr. Burns and the group meet Jay G's ex-wife Praline (Taraji P. Henson) who beats Homer savagely with a catering tray but also helps them by bringing in Common, RZA, and Snoop Dogg to form a group called Hate Squad, featuring the Rhyme Crime All-Stars. At the night of the concert that's due to debut the revenge rap, however, Jay G appears to announce to Mr. Burns that he has bought the master recording of the revenge rap to dispose of it, and Jazzy James and the other rappers turn on Mr. Burns by selling out to Jay G. While Jazzy James claims that Jay G is too good to be beaten, Praline states that she doesn't recall hating Jay G while Common states that the acts of betrayal is part of the Road of Life. Homer returns to Marge's store to confess his actions to her. Marge easily forgives him, citing his big heart for staying loyal to Mr. Burns. As Mr. Burns comes up with a new revenge scheme, Marge sells her store off as she could no longer afford it. Mr. Burns enacts his plan by breaking into Jay G's mansion and capturing Goosius. Jay G comes out to feed Goosius, only to discover that Goosius had seemingly been killed and cooked by Mr. Burns. As Jay G laments the loss of his mascot, it is revealed that Goosius is still alive, as Homer neglected to kill him and got a roast goose from the local gas station instead. Mr. Burns and Jay G give chase to Goosius, with Mr. Burns intending to kill him. They both end up hanging from a chandelier that is about to fall. With death seemingly imminent, Jay G reveals the real reason he betrayed Mr. Burns is because he was following the advice book, specifically the last page — "You will never be truly ruthless until you destroy the one who made you." As Mr. Burns was his inspiration, bankrupting him was the final rung. As the chandelier plummets, Mr. Burns and Jay G are saved by the timely intervention of Smithers, who has finally returned from his adventure in Canada, although the lake ice he was tasked to collect had by now reduced to slush. In the end, the family returns home to Springfield, and Mr. Burns, with his wealth and empire restored, attempts to incorporate a moment of musical appreciation into the daily shift at the power plant (although he starts to reconsider the first time he enacts it).
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Jan 9, 2019 04:11
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Frog Act posted:Returning home with Maggie from errands, Marge discovers that a part of Springfield is now totally destroyed. As Chief Wiggum announces that Bart could be the culprit, Bart says that he wasn't implied at all in the incident. This prompts Marge to follow Bart everywhere until he confesses. I love the 'explain the whole plot then write meanwhile and explain the b plot' format
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Jan 9, 2019 04:15
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LIVE AMMO ROLEPLAY posted:The family goes to a magic-themed restaurant. While there, Marge gets drunk on Long Island Iced Teas and Bart becomes so fascinated with magic that he buys a magician's kit from the gift shop. On the way home, a sturgeon falls from the sky (implicitly from the space station Mir) onto the family car's hood, which is severely damaged. Homer and Bart start their magic show as a way to make money, but the act becomes a failure, and Homer leaves Bart to do the rest of the act on his own. Bart is left out on the street, and people begin giving him money so he can get home on public transportation... This one not great but has my favorite line about working in the acid mine.
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Jan 9, 2019 04:26
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I remember the one where Bart gets put on Ritalin and almost rampages in a tank.
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Jan 9, 2019 09:00
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Bart and Lisa fill up their marble jars which means they get to have Saturday with "Fun Dad". Homer takes the kids to E4, a video game convention, where they have a lot of fun. They come back home and Marge sees how much fun they had, feeling left out. She then takes the kids to the Cross-GAMES, thinking it's the X Games, leaving the kids to dislike her even more. On the way back home, the car breaks down and they stop off in Little Ethiopia where Marge discovers her love for foreign food. After talking to other foodies, Marge, Bart and Lisa decide to become foodies themselves and make a food blog, The Three Mouthketeers. They then go around Springfield, trying out several restaurants and writing reviews of them on their blog. Eventually, Marge, Bart and Lisa get an invite to El Chemistri, a posh restaurant in Springfield. Marge originally invites Homer along after seeing him upset about being left out. However, Marge has a dream about it, with famous chefs Anthony Bourdain, Mario Batali and Gordon Ramsay giving their input on the matter to Marge. She then decides that it would be best to leave Homer behind and sends him to 1501 East Oak Street instead. At El Chemsitri, Marge starts to feel guilty about what she's done and leaves to go and find Homer, who had gotten into a crystal meth lab. The police raid the place, causing a gunfight to start. Marge comes to the rescue, throwing an apple pie ball into the mouth of the owner and he is knocked out by Chief Wiggum. Marge and Homer then reconcile.
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Jan 9, 2019 14:19
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Frog Act posted:At El Chemsitri, Marge starts to feel guilty about what she's done and leaves to go and find Homer, who had gotten into a crystal meth lab. I was not expecting this when I started reading that summary.
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Jan 9, 2019 14:20
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Pin Pals loses a game against Holy Rollers after their new member Dan Gillick must leave the game to visit Fat Tony which tell him at his replacement when his sitting as a jury member is Dan. The Springfield Elementary School Band has a performance and when Lisa shall perform her solo she faints and is sending to the hospital. Dr. Hibbert tells Lisa that her vegetarianism has done so she has iron deficiency and gives her iron tablets. Dan trying to cut on the maffians money without success. Lisa has problems with eating her iron tablets so Lunchlady Dora gives her a meal that she likes. When Lisa asks what it is in the food, she found out that it's Beetle mush. Lisa says then that she is a vegetarian. Doris tell her at she also is it and many vegetarians eat insects. Dan visits Moe's where Moe gives him the attitude and edge that he needs for his new role. Lisa decides to try eating insects and join the Springfield Insectivorian Society. Dan will arrange a new meeting with the Mafia where he proves himself tough. Lisa has started growing locusts for eating and Snowball II accidentally adding fertilizer and more seeds to her farm. At the dinner table is Lisa close to eating a shrimp but Santa's Little Helper managed to eat it before her. Dan visits Fat Tony for telling about his plans to lay off some of the maffia members. Fat Tony tells him that they can not just dismiss them, he must kill them. Lisa dreams that the insects are not happy about at she it eaten them and when she realizes that they are a living just like her, she decides to quit with the insects and asks Bart to release her locusts farm. Bart fails to doing it it and drops the farm in the basement so they flee. Dan is scared and tells Homer that the mafia boss and must kill a few persons. Homer let Dan hide in the basement and buckle him into a chair. Homer leaves Dan alone who become then attacked by locusts and since Homer watching The 100 Greatest Movie Screams, he not hearing Dance call for help. When Homer later look after Dan he found out what has happened and let him be free. Dan flees from the house to kill some of the maffia members. Fat Tony concludes the trial while Dan gets distracted by Homer that follows him every time he is going to kill one. Homer and Dan begins fight over the gun and accidentally firing a shot that hits Snake which Fat Tony acquitted in court. Marge and Lisa release the locusts which starting immediately eat up a Corn Maze. Fat Tony is back as the boss and Dan ends up the accountant for the mob and takes employment at While you Wail Ear Piercing.
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Jan 9, 2019 14:30
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What if none of these are my favorite
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Jan 9, 2019 15:52
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The Simpsons seem to have easy access to swarms of locusts.
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Jan 9, 2019 16:10
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Elon Musk lands with his Dragon spacecraft into the Simpsons' backyard. Whilst eating dinner with them, Marge asks why Musk is in Springfield. Elon responds by revealing that the purpose for his stay in Springfield is that he is looking for inspiration. To this, Homer invites him to tag along with him to the power plant. The next day, during the car ride to the power plant, Elon discovers that Homer is the source of new ideas for inventions, as his "Homerisms" (according to Lisa) quickly inspire him. At the power plant, Elon inspires Mr. Burns to install a magnetohydrodynamic generator to the plant, through a suggestion. Burns meets Musk directly, and attempts to hire him, but Elon rejects the offer as he does not care about the money (much to Burns' surprise). Musk and Burns announce to the town that the power plant has devised new plans for the town's electrical needs (such as Willie spinning a wheel, the Springfield Hyperloop, and Musk's latest project, the Glavinator). Despite the town's cheer to this, Smithers remains suspicious about Elon Musk. It is also announced that Elon invented a brand of self-driving vehicles for Springfield. Bart sneaks into his family's car to disable the auto-drive mode, requiring Musk's master password. He and Lisa go for a joyride in the car, where they land at the power plant, where there is another announcement by Musk. Musk reveals that the town is currently losing roughly $50 million a quarter, much to Burns' horror. Musk explains to Burns that the true intention was to save the Earth. Thanks to Musk, Burns announces to his employees that there will be massive layoffs. Burns then apologizes to an injured Smithers for getting the hounds to attack him (rather than apologize for not believing Smithers in his true suspicion of Musk), and reveals his plot to kill him. Homer, however, is upset, because his ex-friend Musk caused the whole escapade that led to Burns unemploying Lenny, Carl, and the other power plant employees (rather than the fact that his friends are unemployed and it is kind of his fault). Marge advises him to break up with Musk gently. The next day, while Elon is discussing his ideas for inventions with Homer, Burns attempts to assassinate him. Though the bullet accidentally aims in Homer's way, Musk saves him. Homer gratefully thanks him, but he admits to Musk that he wants to break up with him as best friends. To this, the two share one last hug and one last Homer-inspiration: he tells Musk that the little dolphin on the helmet of the Miami Dolphins is also wearing a helmet (although this was no longer accurate by the time this episode aired, since the team replaced that logo design before the 2013 season). The Simpson family say goodbye to Musk, as he boards his rocket to space. He returns to return Lisa, who attempted to stowaway into the rocket. To make up for Lisa's sadness, he gives the family a futuristic birdhouse (similar to the birdhouse from the start of the episode). Elon then departs, and states there are some things he will miss—such as Homer's last thoughts to him—as he drifts through the quiet, still blackness of outer space
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Jan 9, 2019 19:53
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Season 5 "Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song" posted:Skinner is at first at a loss for what to do, and in the meantime Ned Flanders becomes the new principal. However, he is completely lax with the rules, and the entire school breaks out in chaos, with the teachers terrified of leaving the Teacher's Lounge, riots breaking out and spreading cross-class, and even with Martin Prince locked in a cage as the class pet. Meanwhile, Skinner has rejoined the army but finds that discipline in the army isn't quite the same as it was when he was a 'Nam veteran. Season 29 "Left Behind" posted:Flanders eventually got a job at Springfield Elementary as a substitute teacher, after Marge suggested to him to be like Jesus as a teacher. Initially, he felt pressured by all of the disobedient students, particularly with Nelson running the entire plan to ruin Flanders' job. He resigned after Bart spat a spitball onto his mustache, who was peer-pressured by Nelson. 
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Jan 9, 2019 20:31
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Frog Act posted:After talking to other foodies, Marge, Bart and Lisa decide to become foodies themselves and make a food blog, The Three Mouthketeers. I heard somewhere that early Simpsons scripts went through like a dozen editing passes to achieve the snappy, witty humor they're known for. This is definitely a one pass joke
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Jan 9, 2019 21:07
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somepartsareme posted:I heard somewhere that early Simpsons scripts went through like a dozen editing passes to achieve the snappy, witty humor they're known for. This is definitely a one pass joke They used to stay up all night to come up with funny fake store names for backgrounds.
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Jan 9, 2019 21:25
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Frog Act posted:Bart and Lisa fill up their marble jars which means they get to have Saturday with "Fun Dad". Homer takes the kids to E4, a video game convention, where they have a lot of fun. They come back home and Marge sees how much fun they had, feeling left out. She then takes the kids to the Cross-GAMES, thinking it's the X Games, leaving the kids to dislike her even more. Isn't this just the reverse of the Homer the Food Critic, except that one he pisses off the restaurants and they try to kill him.
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Jan 9, 2019 21:36
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Iron Crowned posted:They used to stay up all night to come up with funny fake store names for backgrounds. And I appreciate every single one of them
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Jan 9, 2019 21:42
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Lisa and Homer make a bet on who won the 1948 presidential election. Lisa wins and she gets to choose the activity for Daddy-Daughter Day. Her activity is taking part in building homes for a Habitat for Humanity alongside Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, and George H. W. Bush, whose relationship mirrors that of the Three Stooges. While painting, Homer takes off his wedding ring (which actually is a Band-Aid with tin foil wrapped around it, as Homer's real wedding band was swallowed by a turtle) in order not to get paint on it, and Lindsay Naegle and Cookie Kwan mistakenly think Homer is a bachelor. Marge, driving by with Maggie, sees Homer appearing to flirt with the women by flexing his muscles (though he is actually acting out Marge going into labor when she was pregnant with Bart). She worries that Homer has lost interest in her, so she decides to get liposuction, on the advice of Manjula. Unfortunately, a mix-up causes her to get breast implants, which were intended for one of Mayor Quimby's female interns. The doctor says that Marge must wait for 48 hours before the implants can be removed. Meanwhile, Bart and Milhouse watch an old episode of Batman, featuring Krusty as a villain named Clownface, who threatens Batman with a rapidly spinning carousel of death. Bart and Milhouse like the idea, inspiring them to recreate the stunt, with Bart putting Milhouse on a merry-go-round in school. Otto uses the bus to kick-start the merry-go-round, spinning it at an incredible speed. The bolts give way and the merry-go-round goes flying through the air, knocking over the school flag. Milhouse vomits on the flag while Iwo Jima veterans are visiting the school. As Principal Skinner catches Bart for it, Bart confessed that he and Milhouse saw Krusty do the stunt on television. In response, Skinner leads a group protesting against Krusty, who is now seen as a dangerous influence to children. Krusty's show is revamped to exclude anything considered dangerous and likely to be imitated by impressionable viewers (to the point that Krusty's monkey sidekick, Mr. Teeny, has to be sent back to the wild). After coming home from her surgery, Marge realizes that her breasts are making her life difficult in doing even the simplest tasks. Marge tries to hide her breasts from her family, but Homer and the children find out Marge's secret after a few short hours. Homer, Marge and the children go out for dinner to the local Italian restaurant. Luigi, who had just rejected Ned Flanders and his family, immediately admits the Simpson family. Kiki Highsmith, a trade show executive, approaches Marge and offers her a modeling job. Marge accepts and initially enjoys the experience, but is soon plagued by backaches and many men in Springfield sexually harassing her. At the Springfield Shoe Expo, Marge is further humiliated and objectified by lustful men while promoting shoe horns. At the same time, Bart helps Krusty to win back his popularity, using Milhouse and Stampy, Bart's pet elephant, in a stunt. The stunt quickly goes out of control when Stampy stuffs Milhouse and Bart in his mouth. Homer tries to save them, but get stuffed into Stampy's mouth too. Krusty forgets the word that was supposed to make Stampy submit and lie down. The police decide to shoot at Stampy, which would endanger Homer, Bart and Milhouse. Marge appears on the scene, and after unsuccessfully trying to dissuade the police shooting (as Chief Wiggum claims that they do not negogiate with elephants), distracts the police by flashing her breasts to the assembled crowd. Krusty, still hated by residents of Springfield, saves the day by accidentally saying Stampy's safety word "Magumbo" while ogling Marge's breasts. Stampy releases Bart, Milhouse, and Homer, and Krusty is hailed as a hero and his popularity is restored with the town (though the story of how Krusty saved the kids is relegated to only a paragraph in the local paper while the story of Marge flashing the crowd at the shoe expo received 26 pages with photos). In the end, Marge has the implants removed.
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Jan 9, 2019 21:43
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People who grew up watching the simpsons and being inexplicably horny for Marge are now writing the simpsons
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Jan 9, 2019 21:45
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I am googling key words in every one of these stories because they all sound increasingly made up, and I keep expecting the next one to be someone making fun of the thread, but they never are. What and how the gently caress?
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Jan 9, 2019 21:54
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Homer is playing with maggie in his back yard. To scare away crows marge puts a scarecrow. Then Homer is scared of the scare crow and "kills" it. Befriending a flock of crows. While playing with maggie in the back yard again the crows pick maggie up and start to fly away with her and homer gets mad and yells at the crows and pulls maggie back down. This angers the crows and he says what are you gonna do peck my eyes out? and so they peck his eyes out. The cure for eye pecking is medical pot and homer becomes an addict hanging out in the attic with the buss driver. They lobby to legalize pot and on the day of the election non of the pot heads vote because they forgot. I really like the crow part it should of taken up 3/4 of the episode instead of 1/2.
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Jan 9, 2019 21:57
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I was going to post the one where Homer gets massive amounts of plastic surgery but it turns out that's the rival comic book store one posted earlier. Jeez.
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Jan 9, 2019 23:10
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Bart sees a commercial for the rap show "Murder 4 Life" and is forbidden from going by Marge and Homer (who rap their refusal in the whitest way possible) but sneaks out and goes anyways. At the concert the lead MC, Alcatraaz, accidentally drops his mic into Bart’s hands and then challenges him to a rap battle. Bart gets up on stage and raps about how lovely Homer is, making him an instant hit with the crowd. Impressed with this "little yellow cracker", Alcatraaz gives Bart a ride in his Hummer-limo; 50 Cent also shows up and advises Bart to stay in school. Alcatraaz gives him a free jersey as a souvenir, which Bart promptly hides. As he’s sneaking back in, Bart discovers Homer and Marge know he snuck out and to avoid punishment, fakes his own kidnapping. Chief Wiggum declares he’s going to find the kidnapper, but no one has faith in him and he only gets real motivation after a hallucination of Barney Fife encourages him to persist with the investigation. Bart loops Milhouse in on his scheme and they hide out at his dad’s apartment, unbeknownst to Kirk. Bart calls his family, pretending to be the kidnapper, but Chief Wiggum is able to identify the particularly cheap popcorn being made by Kirk in the background and eventually determines Bart’s location. The cops raid Kirk’s house, find Bart and arrest Kirk for kidnapping. Chief Wiggum is subsequently promoted to Police Commissioner. Milhouse confronts Bart about getting his dad thrown in jail and Bart, feeling guilty, confesses the plot to Commissioner Wiggum. Wiggum, however, is able to convince Bart to maintain the lie as he’s happy being Commissioner and Kirk is extremely happy where he is, prison being orders of magnitude nicer than his life on the outside. Lisa discovers the jersey Bart hid and shows it to Homer, who promptly burns it to maintain the coverup as he has been paid a lot of money for the right to Bart’s story; he then burns his own clothing for no apparent reason. Lisa then goes to Principal Skinner, who agrees to help expose Bart’s lies as revenge for years of pranks, and they visit Alcatraaz at his Springfield mansion to try and find evidence. Video footage of the concert proves Bart was there and they are able to determine the time and date of the event based off the necklaces the rappers are wearing. Wiggum, Bart and Homer show up and try to convince Lisa everyone is better off with the lie, but she obstinately decides the truth needs to be revealed for its own sake. Homer accidentally destroys a giant tv and it looks like he’s about to be shot by the various rappers in the house, until Alcatraaz declares a house party to chill everyone out. Skinner asks Alcatraaz about his chances of being in the rapper's entourage but is told that they already have someone similar, Superintendent Chalmers, who orders Skinner to "step off, dog!" plainswalker75 has a new favorite as of 00:23 on Jan 10, 2019 |
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Jan 10, 2019 00:21
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I hate that I've seen a couple of these so I know they're real.
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Jan 10, 2019 00:24
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LIVE AMMO ROLEPLAY posted:I was going to post the one where Homer gets massive amounts of plastic surgery but it turns out that's the rival comic book store one posted earlier. Jeez. I like how they don't wrap up that Marge still owns a successful gym and the comic book store goes out of business at the end of the episode and neither are ever mentioned again.
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Jan 10, 2019 00:31
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The Simpson family goes to Rainier Wolfcastle's bankruptcy garage sale. Homer asks Rainier if he has anything that will increase in value when he dies, and is shown an old weight-lifting set, complete with dumbbells and bench press. Homer takes it and packs everything and everybody in the car in the style of a Tetris game. The car ends up being so overpacked that Homer has no room in it for himself and ends up being carried home by Rainier Wolfcastle in a baby harness built for an adult. On the way home, Marge and the kids discover that Maggie has soiled her diaper. Marge pulls into the Kwik-E-Mart, and changes Maggie in the restroom. As she is leaving the store, a shady character in a Goofy hat accosts her and threatens her with a gun. Finding only diapers in Marge's purse, he grabs Marge's pearl necklace and takes off. Marge, stunned, walks to her car in a daze and breaks down sobbing at the wheel in front of her kids. The next day, they inform the police and Chief Wiggum declares he will investigate immediately. Later, as Marge is about to leave the house, Homer gives her some pepper spray and some tips on how to handle an attacker. She pulls up to the Kwik-E-Mart, but she snaps when Ralph greets her. She pepper-sprays him on impulse and, feeling guilty, drives back home where she feels safe. When she reaches home, Bart tells her she is parked over the mailman. Marge is a nervous wreck and cannot bring herself to cross the threshold of her house to help the mailman. Dr. Hibbert diagnoses Marge with agoraphobia. Homer and the kids try their best over the next few days to encourage her to go outside, but to no avail. Eventually, she moves into the basement. There, feeling a bit safer, she prepares breakfast for the family and sets up a bed for herself. One day, when she is alone at home, she eyes Rainier Wolfcastle's weight-lifting set and decides to use it to pass the time. In two weeks, she builds herself up and even gets a well-defined washboard stomach (much to Homer's delight). She dashes out to the garden to get some lemons and, realizing that she is not afraid anymore, starts running around town. She runs into her mugger; even though the mugger does not move a finger against Marge, she beats him to a bloody pulp out of revenge in a scene that references the 1972 film The Godfather, when Sonny Corleone beats his brother-in-law Carlo Rizzi. The cops arrive and arrest the crook, and Marge starts exercising even more. One day, as she jogs by an open-air gym at the beach, she runs into Ruth Powers, her old neighbor (seen in episodes "New Kid on the Block" and "Marge on the Lam"). Ruth is also very muscular, and tells Marge that she owes it all to steroids. She talks Marge into using them, and also advises Marge to enter a women's bodybuilding contest. Using the steroids, Marge exercises harder than ever, becoming very muscular and estrogen-depleted, which results in a short temper and a violent streak. Homer, seeing these changes, finds himself less attracted to her. When Homer refuses Marge's sexual advances the night before the contest, she callously ignores his worries and then proceeds to pin him down and rape him, before leaving him completely sore and exhausted to take care of the kids the next morning. That night, the family attends the Iron Maiden Fitness Pageant to see the women's bodybuilding final. Marge wins second place, which irritates her when her muscular ears overhear her family's unhappy conversation in the audience. Later that night, at Moe's, Marge boasts to all the male attendees about her performance at the competition. Homer then tells her he is proud of her ability to bulk up but not lose her femininity. Marge is angered by that, saying that was the reason she came in second place. She then tells everyone at the bar that she intends to up her glycol-load, use a denser ripping gel, and that she didn't sacrifice her period to come in second place. Moe says to Marge, "I don't got enough booze to make you look good". She flies into an uncontrollable rage and ultimately trashes the bar. Homer confronts his wife as she prepares to hurl Lenny at him. Terrified, Homer tells Marge that he misses the sweet, feminine woman he married. Marge, horrified with what she has done, apologizes, drops Lenny, and leaves with Homer. In order to cover the costs of repairing his bar, Moe sets fire to it; however, Carl points out that he has not insured the place yet. Later, at the Simpson house, Marge burns the weight set in the furnace as the show ends. Homer asks if Marge is ready for a "real workout" which turns out to be a request to wax the car, after which he gets beaten by Marge into meekly saying that he was just kidding.
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Jan 10, 2019 01:03
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FactsAreUseless posted:When Patty and Selma are forced out of their apartment while it is being fumigated, they invite themselves over to stay in the Simpson home without asking, much to the anger of Homer. The twins light up cigarettes, causing Bart and Lisa to cough severely. Homer makes a deal: if they smoke at all during their uninvited stay, Patty and Selma must leave right away. Homer installs smoke alarms all over the house to ensure this. The twins go into a downstairs bathroom to smoke, seeing as Homer forgot to put a smoke alarm there, but they catch fire from the tap water. A gleeful Homer wastes no time kicking them out and dropping them off at a Dog Track, which they immediately take delight in due to the surrounding patrons' chain-smoking. Lisa informs Marge that the inflamed tap water is possibly a result of fracking, which she discovers that Mr. Burns is operating. She successfully calls on Democratic Assemblywoman Maxine Lombard to stop the fracking.
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Jan 10, 2019 01:09
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Edit: Whoops, beaten
The Awesomesaurus has a new favorite as of 03:27 on Jan 10, 2019 |
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Jan 10, 2019 03:14
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LSD at the gangbang posted:I hate that I've seen a couple of these so I know they're real.
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Jan 10, 2019 04:26
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The Simpsons go to Diz-Nee-Land (a parody of the theme park Disneyland). After a long journey, they dislike all of the rides they visit, and decide to go to "Rocket to Your Doom", a just-opened queue-less ride which was not on the map. They get in and it immediately transforms into a spaceship. At first, the family is skeptical, but a screen appears with Kang and Kodos on it telling them that they are being taken to their home planet Rigel 7. At the planet, Kang and Kodos show them around in a giant pet cage and the Simpsons are informed they are prisoners. Then they are taken as exhibitions to a zoo. After a while, they are informed they must choose one of them to be dined in a ritual. Everybody votes for Homer (even he changes his vote from Bart to himself after seeing the other votes). Afterwards, Homer is seen walking in something that looks like bacon underwear, to be eaten, but he gets rescued by some hippie-looking Rigelians who believe that eating other sentient species is wrong. After an excessive party, he gets on another spaceship only for one that also pleases all desires, but he realizes he will not enjoy it without his family and goes back to rescue them. The Rigelians have decided to eat the rest of the family and they are glazed over giant plates with some lettuce and tomato. When Homer offers to be eaten instead, he gets put on a similar plate and annoys the Rigelian chef by eating the glaze and claiming he did not get any. The Rigelian Queen then eats Homer's previously off-camera severed buttock and gets poisoned because of the fast food life they all lead; even Lisa is the most polluted of them all and would be better chewing tobacco like Bart. The Rigelian Queen dies from the poison. Following the Rigelian Queen's death, the Simpsons get sent home on a spaceship that looks like the interior of the original starship USS Enterprise. They set course to Earth, but after a call from Grampa Simpson, the family decides to go anywhere else but home Not a Halloween episode.
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Jan 10, 2019 04:54
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| # ? May 5, 2024 17:53 |
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Homer and Marge take the kids to a kids' fun center, which disappoints Homer as he has to watch the kids. Some kids end up in a secret room where they are dressed in black suits and white shirts and told, “Welcome to the Mormon Church, America’s most respectable cult.” However, upon seeing that the other dads have abandoned their duties, he does so as well. When a child leaves the building, it triggers an automatic alarm that shuts down the entire facility. Marge and the mothers pass the time by telling each other stories of childbirth, but the fathers instantly turn on each other and fight savagely. Homer is traumatized, and on a routine trip to Moe's Tavern, he admits his doubt of civilization's ability to survive a worldwide catastrophe and meets a man named Lloyd, who reveals himself to be a survivalist "prepper". Lloyd introduces him to the world of survivalists, and Homer quickly adopts their ideals and methods, storing necessary equipment in the family basement. Studying how to become a survivalist, he neglects his job at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, and as a result, an electromagnetic pulse blacks out all of the power in Springfield. When Mayor Quimby cannot find a solution to the problem, Homer is prompted to take his family to a base camp his fellow survivalists, who include Superintendent Chalmers, have set up. However, after an argument with Marge over their new lives, Homer begins to doubt the other survivalists when they refuse to share their stored equipment to the others in Springfield. Realizing that everyone else needs the equipment, he steals it all that night and flees back to Springfield with the family. The survivalists quickly catch on and gain pursuit. The Simpsons manage to make it back to Springfield, only to find that the townspeople have quickly gotten over the EMP burst and recovered as a society, much to Lloyd's dismay. Lisa tells everyone that a big lesson has been learned from all of this; meanwhile, a meteor carrying a horde of zombies approaches the Earth.
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Jan 10, 2019 05:02
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