frankee posted:

The Simpsons go to Diz-Nee-Land (a parody of the theme park Disneyland).

bunnyofdoom posted:

Marge is further humiliated and objectified by lustful men while promoting shoe horns.

BgRdMchne posted:

can someone post a list of every job that homer has had? tia

Samuringa posted:

The Simpson family goes to Rainier Wolfcastle's bankruptcy garage sale. Homer asks Rainier if he has anything that will increase in value when he dies, and is shown an old weight-lifting set, complete with dumbbells and bench press. Homer takes it and packs everything and everybody in the car in the style of a Tetris game. The car ends up being so overpacked that Homer has no room in it for himself and ends up being carried home by Rainier Wolfcastle in a baby harness built for an adult.

On the way home, Marge and the kids discover that Maggie has soiled her diaper. Marge pulls into the Kwik-E-Mart, and changes Maggie in the restroom. As she is leaving the store, a shady character in a Goofy hat accosts her and threatens her with a gun. Finding only diapers in Marge's purse, he grabs Marge's pearl necklace and takes off. Marge, stunned, walks to her car in a daze and breaks down sobbing at the wheel in front of her kids.

The next day, they inform the police and Chief Wiggum declares he will investigate immediately. Later, as Marge is about to leave the house, Homer gives her some pepper spray and some tips on how to handle an attacker. She pulls up to the Kwik-E-Mart, but she snaps when Ralph greets her. She pepper-sprays him on impulse and, feeling guilty, drives back home where she feels safe. When she reaches home, Bart tells her she is parked over the mailman. Marge is a nervous wreck and cannot bring herself to cross the threshold of her house to help the mailman. Dr. Hibbert diagnoses Marge with agoraphobia. Homer and the kids try their best over the next few days to encourage her to go outside, but to no avail. Eventually, she moves into the basement. There, feeling a bit safer, she prepares breakfast for the family and sets up a bed for herself. One day, when she is alone at home, she eyes Rainier Wolfcastle's weight-lifting set and decides to use it to pass the time.

In two weeks, she builds herself up and even gets a well-defined washboard stomach (much to Homer's delight). She dashes out to the garden to get some lemons and, realizing that she is not afraid anymore, starts running around town. She runs into her mugger; even though the mugger does not move a finger against Marge, she beats him to a bloody pulp out of revenge in a scene that references the 1972 film The Godfather, when Sonny Corleone beats his brother-in-law Carlo Rizzi. The cops arrive and arrest the crook, and Marge starts exercising even more. One day, as she jogs by an open-air gym at the beach, she runs into Ruth Powers, her old neighbor (seen in episodes "New Kid on the Block" and "Marge on the Lam"). Ruth is also very muscular, and tells Marge that she owes it all to steroids. She talks Marge into using them, and also advises Marge to enter a women's bodybuilding contest. Using the steroids, Marge exercises harder than ever, becoming very muscular and estrogen-depleted, which results in a short temper and a violent streak. Homer, seeing these changes, finds himself less attracted to her. When Homer refuses Marge's sexual advances the night before the contest, she callously ignores his worries and then proceeds to pin him down and rape him, before leaving him completely sore and exhausted to take care of the kids the next morning.

That night, the family attends the Iron Maiden Fitness Pageant to see the women's bodybuilding final. Marge wins second place, which irritates her when her muscular ears overhear her family's unhappy conversation in the audience. Later that night, at Moe's, Marge boasts to all the male attendees about her performance at the competition. Homer then tells her he is proud of her ability to bulk up but not lose her femininity. Marge is angered by that, saying that was the reason she came in second place. She then tells everyone at the bar that she intends to up her glycol-load, use a denser ripping gel, and that she didn't sacrifice her period to come in second place. Moe says to Marge, "I don't got enough booze to make you look good". She flies into an uncontrollable rage and ultimately trashes the bar. Homer confronts his wife as she prepares to hurl Lenny at him. Terrified, Homer tells Marge that he misses the sweet, feminine woman he married. Marge, horrified with what she has done, apologizes, drops Lenny, and leaves with Homer. In order to cover the costs of repairing his bar, Moe sets fire to it; however, Carl points out that he has not insured the place yet.

Later, at the Simpson house, Marge burns the weight set in the furnace as the show ends. Homer asks if Marge is ready for a "real workout" which turns out to be a request to wax the car, after which he gets beaten by Marge into meekly saying that he was just kidding.

Araenna posted:

The rape is the worst part though. I'm surprised they call it rape in the summary, since I'm sure the show didn't frame it as such.

Samuringa posted:

You clearly aren't a prime TV writer





comedy gold

Samuringa posted:

I was sure this was posted but I think it was just a brief paragraph in the TV Shows Didn't Age Well thread

"When Lisa struggles to find excitement and intrigue in her family heritage for a school presentation, she decides to take creative license. Inspired by Bart's "Indian butter trick" and the well-known kitchen curtains, with their stalks-of-corn pattern, Lisa claims to be Native American, from the "Hitachi" tribe, a name Lisa selects based on the Hitachi brand of the family's microwave oven. The embellishment turns into a web of lies when Lisa is chosen to represent the school and her "people" at City Hall, then as a keynote speaker for the National Native American Tribal Council. She eventually admits she lied about her heritage, but is spared from prosecution when the other speakers admit they are not true Native Americans. Homer compares his daughter to CBS News in a reference to the 2004 Killian documents controversy. As they leave, Homer mentions that one of his great-great-grandmothers actually was a Native American, and Lisa sarcastically agrees with him, although Homer replies that she did not ask him about it.

At his farm, Cletus is milking his cow when he accidentally kicks over a lantern, prompting a series of Rube Goldberg-esque events that leads to a chicken starting a fire. Cletus's cow succeeds in extinguishing the fire, but Cletus drops his smoking pipe, leading to a wildfire around Springfield. The townspeople try to extinguish it, to no avail. At Springfield Elementary, Principal Skinner asks Groundskeeper Willie to get the fire extinguisher, but all of them have been stolen by Bart to propel his wagon. As Bart rockets around town, the foam released from the extinguishers puts out the wildfire. Bart is cheered as a hero by everyone and rewarded with a driver's license by Mayor Quimby.

Bart starts using Homer's car for his own pleasure, but is eventually tabbed for family errands (mostly chauffeuring Homer). Bart flees to North Haverbrook, where he meets a 15-year-old girl named Darcy, who believes Bart is much older. They begin a romantic relationship and Darcy soon proposes marriage, revealing that she is pregnant and, upon realizing that Bart believes pregnancy can be caused by kissing, implies Bart is the father. At the court house, Bart reveals his age, whereupon Darcy admits that Bart is not the father - the real father is a Norwegian exchange student, and she wants to get married because her parents would be upset about her extramarital pregnancy. Bart agrees to marry Darcy, and they drive to Utah, where marriage restrictions are looser and they can start a new life together. Eventually, Homer, Marge and Darcy's parents catch up with them to stop the wedding, where Darcy's father tries to reason with Bart as he believes that Bart took advantage of a girl much older than him and got her pregnant. Darcy confesses to her parents that Bart is not the father, and that she didn't want her parents to be disappointed by her pregnancy. Darcy's mother, thrilled, confesses that she is pregnant too, and the family agrees to pass the two babies off as twins. Darcy and Bart end their relationship, while Bart assures her they will meet again, to which she agrees. Later, Bart admits to Homer that he looked forward to being a father, and Homer cheers him up by going with him on a ride around town at night.[1] "

Kaiser Mazoku posted:

When Ned Flanders catches Homer burgling his house, he says he got more for less by attending the Chuck Garabedian Mega-Savings Seminar. Homer steals Ned's tickets and the Simpsons attend the seminar, in which Chuck explains many money-saving strategies.

Samuringa posted:

Check out those strategies, see if you spot the one that stands out

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjYT3Egc1CU

Electrical Fire posted:

Without clicking the link, I seem to recall it's something pretty transphobic.

CaptainViolence posted:

this thread is breaking my brain. i keep thinking "oh this one has to be fake" and with like two exceptions i've gotten a paragraph or two in and suddenly remembered seeing it live when it aired and managing to repress all memories of it until now

the loving eye scraping bit, oh my god

Samuringa posted:

I enjoy this because how convoluted it is, and also because I've been thinking about the last bad episodes I had watched recently but turns out this one is 10 years old. I have no idea what a contemporary Simpsons episode is even like anymore.

quote:

Five weeks before Christmas, Lenny orders his Christmas gift online. Two days later UPS delivers it, but someone immediately steals it.

Working as a lighthouse keeper, Sideshow Bob is visited by Cassandra Patterson, a neighbor. She tells him she mentioned him in town, and Bob knows he let his guard down around her when two men come visiting, but they offer him a job at the Springfield Mall as Santa Claus. Meanwhile, more people are getting robbed of their delivered gifts.

The Simpsons visit Santa's village. Bart skips the line to see Santa, and realizes who he really is. Bob tries to strangle him, but he can't because he refuses to break character.

When a plan to trick the robbers with gunpowder fails for Lenny, Lenny writes 'SB' with his blood. When the news is reported, Homer calls the cops to reveal that SB means Selma Bouvier and she is arrested, freeing the recently-held suspects Scott Bakula, Steve Ballmer, and Sandra Bullock.

Bart still suspects Bob, who agrees to help Bart find the culprit by concealing himself in a box which is placed on the porch.

The thief arrives and the family follows the van to a hangar, finding out Waylon Smithers and Mr. Burns were the culprits. Lisa suggests Burns did it because he's depressed. Mr. Burns tells the story of how as a child he was heartbroken one Christmas, when he asked Santa for just a hug and a smile from his parents and they never delivered, sending him to boarding school instead. Bob as Santa convinces Burns that his harsh upbringing made him the success he is today. Burns and Smithers then return the presents.

GWBBQ posted: