Feeling like a badass running a stop sign with no one around

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > Feeling like a badass running a stop sign with no one around

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bradzilla

Heh. The man can't keep me down.

# ? Jan 14, 2019 14:46

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# ? May 15, 2024 02:08

bradzilla

Doing 5 over the speed limit with middle fingers up

# ? Jan 14, 2019 14:59

bradzilla

Jaywalking while shouting "I am a sovereign citizen!"

# ? Jan 14, 2019 15:00

Manifisto

writing "gently caress the irs" on the copy of my tax worksheets I keep for my personal records

in pencil

just in case there's ever an audit, I can erase it and the man will never know

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Jan 14, 2019 15:02

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

doing an weede, in Texas, walking down the street, right in front of God and everybody

dandelion tea

# ? Jan 14, 2019 15:30

alnilam

Manifisto posted:

writing "gently caress the irs" on the copy of my tax worksheets I keep for my personal records

in pencil

just in case there's ever an audit, I can erase it and the man will never know

# ? Jan 14, 2019 16:18

super sweet best pal

bradzilla posted:

Jaywalking while shouting "I am a sovereign citizen!"

Walking across a the street when no cars are in sight because there's no crosswalk for a quarter mile. That's how mafia works.

# ? Jan 15, 2019 03:18

vanisher

Manifisto posted:

writing "gently caress the irs" on the copy of my tax worksheets I keep for my personal records

in pencil

just in case there's ever an audit, I can erase it and the man will never know

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Jan 15, 2019 04:54

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

getting my change and noticing the "take a penny, leave a penny" sign, trying not to let anyone see my glee as i ignore it. almost tripping as i do my best casual walk out of the store. panting as i get into my car, the thrill of almost getting caught is invigorating, my heart is still racing as i pull onto the road. 35mph sign, i smirk as the needle moves ever so slightly to 36, panic sets in as i hit 37, i brake hard, pull off to the side of the road and carefully throw the car into park.

it's been maybe an hour now, i can't stop crying, sobbing. after a few more minutes i get my cool back, eyes are red, i wipe the snot from my nose and crumple the tissue, carefully deposit it into my little car trash bin. it's ok now, its ok. i let out a little laugh, half heartedly at first. too much laughing. it frightens me, too far, today i went too far.

# ? Jan 15, 2019 05:11

Manifisto

Luvcow posted:

getting my change and noticing the "take a penny, leave a penny" sign, trying not to let anyone see my glee as i ignore it. almost tripping as i do my best casual walk out of the store. panting as i get into my car, the thrill of almost getting caught is invigorating, my heart is still racing as i pull onto the road. 35mph sign, i smirk as the needle moves ever so slightly to 36, panic sets in as i hit 37, i brake hard, pull off to the side of the road and carefully throw the car into park.

it's been maybe an hour now, i can't stop crying, sobbing. after a few more minutes i get my cool back, eyes are red, i wipe the snot from my nose and crumple the tissue, carefully deposit it into my little car trash bin. it's ok now, its ok. i let out a little laugh, half heartedly at first. too much laughing. it frightens me, too far, today i went too far.

lol

# ? Jan 15, 2019 05:16

vanisher

not donating to the NPR fundraising campaign playing on the radio like a badass (I still listen to them talk during the fundraising part even though the rest of the carpool begs me to change the channel)

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Jan 15, 2019 05:19

Fredrik1: Gopherslayer

yelling, "foods done!", while slightly chuckling at the meat thermometer showing 164 degrees.

"you can't tell me how I cook my chicken, jamie oliver"

# ? Jan 15, 2019 09:15

Twenty Four

Luvcow posted:

"take a penny, leave a penny"

putting a nickel in the "take a penny leave a penny" tray like a drat rebel

# ? Jan 15, 2019 11:22

bradzilla

entering a store through the out doors, a single drop of sweat rolls down my forehead

turning it up to 11 and also leaving the store through the in doors

# ? Jan 15, 2019 13:55

bradzilla

drinking a bottle of water that is one day past expiration

# ? Jan 15, 2019 13:58

Manifisto

getting out the scissors to cut the tags off my new pillows, hesitating, going over to the window to pull down the blinds, but not before furtively peeking out

how long has that helicopter been there anyway?

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Jan 15, 2019 14:03

Fredrik1: Gopherslayer

using a fake plastic tab to pick open the trolley lock at the supermarket

# ? Jan 15, 2019 16:09

Manifisto

taking u.s. pennies from the "take a penny, leave a penny" tray, and leaving canadian pennies

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Jan 15, 2019 16:25

ToxicSlurpee: -=SEND HELP=-

I drank an alcohol the day before my 21st birthday. Take that, The Man. :smaug:

I'm sewage flavored.

# ? Jan 15, 2019 16:29

Mummy Napkin

vapin a juul within 10 feet of the building entrance

# ? Jan 15, 2019 16:37

bradzilla

transferring liquor from one bottle to another in my home :twisted:

# ? Jan 15, 2019 17:06

FutonForensic

vanisher posted:

not donating to the NPR fundraising campaign playing on the radio like a badass (I still listen to them talk during the fundraising part even though the rest of the carpool begs me to change the channel)

# ? Jan 15, 2019 17:16

vanisher

Never using those free sanitizing wipes for the carts at the entrance of the supermarket, like a badass

# ? Jan 15, 2019 18:06

vanisher

Parking my car and entering the McDonalds instead of going through the drive through

# ? Jan 15, 2019 18:08

google THIS

"Microwave on high for 4 minutes. Remove film, stir, and recover. Microwave on high for 1 minute."

:smug:

5:00 *Start*

# ? Jan 15, 2019 18:16

Barking Gecko: Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

Taking the container out of the microwave and opening it right away, rather than waiting for one minute.

# ? Jan 15, 2019 18:33

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

vanisher posted:

not donating to the NPR fundraising campaign playing on the radio like a badass (I still listen to them talk during the fundraising part even though the rest of the carpool begs me to change the channel)

you're a god drat monster

# ? Jan 15, 2019 20:22

Space Taxi

Washing my hands after I go to the toilet but only using water.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 02:56

Twenty Four

Going fishing and catching one fish over the limit. My fishing partner is way under the limit though so if a ranger comes around we will just say he caught it.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 03:31

Manifisto

Twenty Four posted:

Going fishing and catching one fish over the limit. My fishing partner is way under the limit though so if a ranger comes around we will just say he caught it.

warden: do you have anything over the limit

me: oh yeah man, this fish we caught is way over the limit!!!!

warden [pulling out a pad]: well son that's going to be a serious fine

me: uh what I meant is, it's, uh, it's extreme, it's off the hook, it's gnarly. like it's a really sweet fish and I caught it in a very radical fashion. but it's legal and stuff

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Jan 16, 2019 04:02

ToxicSlurpee: -=SEND HELP=-

One time I didn't rewind a VHS tape before I took it back to the movie place.

I'm sewage flavored.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 05:32

super sweet best pal

Running out into the crosswalk after the DON'T WALK sign started blinking and making it across before the light changes. I cannot be stopped!

# ? Jan 16, 2019 06:59

Space Taxi

Returning my shopping trolley to the corral but not pushing it all the way to the end

# ? Jan 16, 2019 07:04

bradzilla

Not scanning a single apple at the self-checkout. I'm paying for the rest of the bag, though so I can say "lol whoops, I forgot how to count, security personnel!"

# ? Jan 16, 2019 13:11

Twenty Four

Manifisto posted:

it's off the hook

lol fish jokes

# ? Jan 16, 2019 14:23

mags: I am a congenital optimist.

only offering to help when you're carrying the last bag of groceries :smug:

paul_soccer12 posted:

everyone in the idf must die

(USER WAS PERMABANNED FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jan 16, 2019 18:51

google THIS

Gently removing a sleeping cat from my lap because I need to get up.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 20:48

bradzilla

google THIS posted:

Gently removing a sleeping cat from my lap because I need to get up.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 22:33

bare bottom pancakes: Production: Complete

google THIS posted:

Gently removing a sleeping cat from my lap because I need to get up.

this is too hosed up for byob

# ? Jan 17, 2019 05:41

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# ? May 15, 2024 02:08

bare bottom pancakes: Production: Complete

taking the last two slices of pizza in the fridge

# ? Jan 17, 2019 05:41

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > Feeling like a badass running a stop sign with no one around

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