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SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:how big was lancelots crank huge  also I am sort of a  in some of these comments. I don't remember writing them because I literally read this entire collection when I was struggling with drinking too much, which might have been how i was able to do it.
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Feb 7, 2019 06:19
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Barudak posted:Im mostly posting here to do two things: nice
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Feb 7, 2019 06:20
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Honky Dong Country posted:lmao jfc what a godamn moron. She wanted me to be but I don't have the book for scans or the time to put a good OP together Oh yeah also in that same story, a guy kidnaps King Arthur's wife and his response is basically just "oh well guess she's his wife now." And refuses to do anything about it, so the buddy cop Lancelot/Gawain team go rogue and get on the case
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Feb 7, 2019 06:22
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SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:how big was lancelots crank Well his name isnt lancelittle
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Feb 7, 2019 06:22
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 pick would you quest this beast
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Feb 7, 2019 06:23
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this is a good thread, pickBarudak posted:Well his name isnt lancelittle 
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Feb 7, 2019 06:25
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HORSE KILLING (gay) CONTINUES:  A "palfrey" is a riding horse in case you weren't familiar with the term.
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Feb 7, 2019 06:27
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Galehaut is also extremely tall, like tall enough that a guy is trying to run away on a horse and he just straight up grabs him and lifts him off while the horse rides away
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Feb 7, 2019 06:28
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Blade Runner posted:She wanted me to be but I don't have the book for scans or the time to put a good OP together Arthur is profoundly the SHITTIEST dude, it is loving incredible. It's really interesting that Guinevere is so much more sympathetic in the oldest known compiled version. Also, she's older than Lancelot, who's like 18 or so during most of this? whew!
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Feb 7, 2019 06:28
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Barudak posted:1) be the first person in the thread to write Le Petite Morte d'Arthur
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Feb 7, 2019 06:29
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Pick posted:huge The beheading is actually a Celtic pagan remnant which is almost as omnipresent as Gayness in Arthurian legend (remember it was adapted from Welsh legend.) Heads were believed by the Celts to house a person's soul and therefore their power. Celts would traditionally ride home from battle with their opponents severed heads tied to their horses which they would then keep around the house as trophies.
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Feb 7, 2019 06:32
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Blade Runner posted:Galehaut is also extremely tall, like tall enough that a guy is trying to run away on a horse and he just straight up grabs him and lifts him off while the horse rides away gently caress!!!!!!! you beat me to posting this!!!!!!! <  >
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Feb 7, 2019 06:32
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brave sir Lancelot, quickly rushing to his incapacitated
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Feb 7, 2019 06:33
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Pick posted:Arthur is profoundly the SHITTIEST dude, it is loving incredible. It's really interesting that Guinevere is so much more sympathetic in the oldest known compiled version. Also, she's older than Lancelot, who's like 18 or so during most of this? whew! Lancelot is extremely young, yes, though Guinevere was very young when she married Arthur so she isn't too much older. Arthur is generally in his mid forties to early fifties. You could probably draw parallels with Beowulf's story, since that's fundamentally about him becoming an old man and refusing to allow a young hero to defeat the problem he caused in his youth due to his arrogance and pride, and this leads to the destruction of his legacy and his own death: whereas Arthur getting a young new wrecking ball leads to everything getting hosed up completely. Also of note: Lancelot is Arthur's favorite knight by far and this is mentioned constantly, even though he is a moron who can do literally nothing but stab people and be hot
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Feb 7, 2019 06:34
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Feb 7, 2019 06:36
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Blade Runner posted:Lancelot is extremely young, yes, though Guinevere was very young when she married Arthur so she isn't too much older. Arthur is generally in his mid forties to early fifties. You could probably draw parallels with Beowulf's story, since that's fundamentally about him becoming an old man and refusing to allow a young hero to defeat the problem he caused in his youth due to his arrogance and pride, and this leads to the destruction of his legacy and his own death: whereas Arthur getting a young new wrecking ball leads to everything getting hosed up completely. And GOD does he gently caress up everything literally 100%  quote:Also of note: Lancelot is Arthur's favorite knight by far and this is mentioned constantly, even though he is a moron who can do literally nothing but stab people and be hot the author is so loving god drat out of his mind randy for lancelot's sword that it is truly amazing how badly they'd be panned in the present day for being unable to keep their good hand out of their monk robes and focus on things like maybe plot or some poo poo like that
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Feb 7, 2019 06:37
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What is the best King Arthur movie I voted EXCALIBUR
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Feb 7, 2019 06:40
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Another Lancelot fact: Morgan Le Fay was obsessed with him, though there were a bunch of people obsessed with him, like two or three women ask him out and then immediately kill themselves when rejected She locks him in her basement for a few years but there's a tournament he really wants to go to, so he asks if he can go and she says sure, but he has to come back He actually goes back after winning the tournament There's another time when her and a bunch of other witches knock him out and capture him, then start arguing over who gets to bang him first, then he wakes up in the background while they're distracted, kicks down the wall of the castle they're keeping him in, and leaves They do not notice until later
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Feb 7, 2019 06:41
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free hubcaps posted:brave sir Lancelot, quickly rushing to his incapacitated
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Feb 7, 2019 06:41
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JebanyPedal posted:What is the best King Arthur movie I voted EXCALIBUR Hancock.
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Feb 7, 2019 06:45
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A major plotline is that Galehaut gives up taking over the known world (which he's promised by oracles n poo poo would have been possible) in order to have Lacelot's company and to maintain Lancelot as a knight of his court. (galehaut is primarily a king of kings, not a mere knight, altho this gets complicated also.) In return, Lancelot and Galehaut do hang out, but lancelot whines a lot about being horny for guinevere. king arthur, meanwhile, is hosed up on how cool lancelot is, and wants to recall him even though this is literally the one thing galehaut asked for in exchange for not easily and provably wrecking arthur's poo poo. anyway gawain keeps trying to track them fuckers down, and galehaut keeps trying to take them to remote places and pretending uhhhh they're not home
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Feb 7, 2019 06:45
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"uhhh he's not home right now" Galehaut is just like hiding behind a parapet and looking down at them, his ridiculously tall rear end clearly visible
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Feb 7, 2019 06:50
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Yo Pick, does the Vulgate or post - vulgate cycle mention how Merlin is a hosed up half demon who tricks little girls into learning magic so he can have sex with them?
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Feb 7, 2019 06:50
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Blade Runner posted:Another Lancelot fact: Morgan Le Fay was obsessed with him, though there were a bunch of people obsessed with him, like two or three women ask him out and then immediately kill themselves when rejected basis of a song i like though https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80-kp6RDl94 quote:
he is literally a loving moron
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Feb 7, 2019 06:50
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Pick posted:A major plotline is that Galehaut gives up taking over the known world (which he's promised by oracles n poo poo would have been possible) in order to have Lacelot's company and to maintain Lancelot as a knight of his court. (galehaut is primarily a king of kings, not a mere knight, altho this gets complicated also.) In return, Lancelot and Galehaut do hang out, but lancelot whines a lot about being horny for guinevere. king arthur, meanwhile, is hosed up on how cool lancelot is, and wants to recall him even though this is literally the one thing galehaut asked for in exchange for not easily and provably wrecking arthur's poo poo. anyway gawain keeps trying to track them fuckers down, and galehaut keeps trying to take them to remote places and pretending uhhhh they're not home This guy is another of the many who murked himself cause of Lancelot. Dude's a loving gorgeous menace.
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Feb 7, 2019 06:52
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Blade Runner posted:"uhhh he's not home right now" for viewers: Blade Runner is NOT joking about this  Though it's not clear if Galehaut is ever used as a comparison wrt: the height of a "knight" due to his unusual status of acting like a knight even though his real status is vastly superior. But Galehaut's thing is he's "Galehaut, Son of the Giantess, Lord of the Distant Isles". So his height is mentioned over and over.
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Feb 7, 2019 06:55
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Lancethot, imo
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Feb 7, 2019 06:55
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Why read a boring rear end STUFFY book when you can play this BALLER poo poo on your Super Nintendo???
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Feb 7, 2019 06:58
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Alright gently caress it, I'm gonna read everything King Arthur related over the summer. Where do I start? Gimme a "Complete Works"
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Feb 7, 2019 06:59
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I'm trying to find the very gayest Galehaut passage, which is him talking about how is very favorite person (until he becomes besotted with Lancelot!!) was his mom
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Feb 7, 2019 07:01
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also this, the "contest" for the love of Lancelotquote:Then Sir Gawain thought a little, like a man who believed he would never be well again. “If God were to grant me my health,” he said, “I’d immediately wish to be the most beautiful maiden in the world, happy and healthy, on condition that he would love me above all others, all his life and mine.” Pick fucked around with this message at 07:16 on Feb 7, 2019 |
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Feb 7, 2019 07:01
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What's super interesting is there are a few anti-feudalist and anti-capitalist screeds embedded in the text as well. We've been trying to gently caress up capitalism for a while now.
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Feb 7, 2019 07:08
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Where in the original literature does it mention the time when Arthur and his knights were captured by Morgana, and Merlin, drunk off his loving rocker, decided to replace them with a bunch of college football players he plucked from the 90's U.S.? Also Pick where do you think Arthur/the historical figure that inspired Arthur is buried? My money says he's wrapped up in some dirty rags at the bottom of some peat bog that's been paved over for a Poundland parking lot in Wales.
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Feb 7, 2019 07:19
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If youre interested in Arthurian Legend I recommend you gather some like minded fellows and play a bit of Pendragon. Its a table top RPG based on arthurian legend and has no real focus on combat, instead characters are defined by their knightly virtues and vices and their religiousness and quests are often designed that somewhere you will falter to a vice or an impossible request between what your lord commands and what a good knight or good [characters religion] should do.
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Feb 7, 2019 07:27
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Barudak posted:If youre interested in Arthurian Legend I recommend you gather some like minded fellows and play a bit of Pendragon. Its a table top RPG based on arthurian legend and has no real focus on combat, instead characters are defined by their knightly virtues and vices and their religiousness and quests are often designed that somewhere you will falter to a vice or an impossible request between what your lord commands and what a good knight or good [characters religion] should do. To be honest, not "really" focusing on combat is the most Arthurian thing, because what happens and who wins, and with how much gore, is completely dependent on the paragraph and exactly how much angst the author would like ---let's face it, Lancelot---- to feel in the next 30 or so pages before he goes off and talks about how thick his thighs are
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Feb 7, 2019 07:46
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Thats why Pendragon (not 4th edition) is good is because it understands most Arthurian adventures the actual fighting isnt the big part of the quest. Like Gawain and the Green Knight the hard part* of the quest is not sleeping with a dudes wife and finding chivalrous ways to turn her down, not fighting a gigantic knight in the woods. Its also the only game I can think of where you are encouraged to have an heir to saddle them with a quest your current character lacks the moral fortitude to complete for whatever reason. *Not actually that difficult for most of the characters in arthurian legend for some, unknowable, reason
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Feb 7, 2019 07:53
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TS Elliott's book was pretty cool.
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Feb 7, 2019 08:00
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I'm familiar with the work, but hot drat, I have to read this!
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Feb 7, 2019 08:00
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JebanyPedal posted:What is the best King Arthur movie I voted EXCALIBUR 
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Feb 7, 2019 08:01
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JebanyPedal posted:What is the best King Arthur movie I voted EXCALIBUR Best TV show involving King Arthur was Legends of Tomorrow
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Feb 7, 2019 08:04
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