(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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I've been slacking off at work, partially laziness admittedly, partially stress of well everything, partially fatigue from walking 7 miles a day. I'm working from home tomorrow, and I have a call with my supervisor about having too many tickets. This isn't the first time. Granted, this happens to everyone here eventually and is intended to come off more like coaching. I'm new here though and I don't want to be on these calls, especially since probation still isn't over yet. Another reason why I'm piling them up is that I often couldn't find this stuff to fix, our gear is on wheels and could be anywhere in the hospital, or in a Covid ward. Also get bogged down by poo poo that takes forever to fix or worse, something I couldn't fix. Like, I busted rear end these last couple days because I knew I was in the doghouse but my queue still doesn't look great. My best just wasn't good enough. That's how everything feels now, doesn't matter what I do, it's not enough. It's making me nervous, but there's nothing I can do about it now. Gotta just take the L and hope I can make it.
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Aug 26, 2020 05:19
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Old coworker wished me a happy birthday. We had beef in the past but she apologized when we all got laid off. It's not even my birthday for a couple weeks but drat that's cool  Subjunctive posted:I’ve been in this situation on both sides of the table, and it sucks—you have my sympathy. It is helpful, thank you!
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Sep 3, 2020 06:22
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My friend, who's Chinese, has gotten racial slurs twice this month in the shopping district next to where we work. I was there for one of them. I'm Asian too, but only half, and if I wear sunglasses you can't really tell. Part of me really wants to start some poo poo over this. Absolutely sick of people running their mouths on the street. It's probably a good thing we're near work and so we can't really do anything, but gently caress. Can't even go to the gym to work this out because well, no gym.
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Oct 7, 2020 23:04
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Knot My President! posted:My friend who has (medicated) depression tripped with me on Friday for the first time and hasn't had depression since. Since regularly taking psilocybin months ago I haven't been depressive either and my ptsd gets better every day I’m afraid to do mushrooms while on lexapro. We’re there no interactions?
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Oct 11, 2020 06:17
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I'm going to my GF's house and her brother and his wife are coming. My mom is kind of mad because she's old, I can't say I blame her. I haven't bothered to defend it because I honestly can't, I know better than this. However, I also work at one of the biggest hospitals in the city and frankly this is an improvement over a normal Thursday. These two are also pretty low risk, one is in healthcare too and the other 100% WFH, with a pregnant sister that she will not wish to endanger. Besides, she voted for Trump, although in her case it was "not-Hillary". I can be a chud for a day too! It's opposite day! I make reckless choices and you demand I stop, but I'll do it anyway. IT'S MUH FREEDOM
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Nov 26, 2020 18:13
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Therapist scheduled me for 6:30PM, cancelled it, and moved it to 4pm. Uhh, I end work then but there not really anywhere for me to set up a telehealth here. I ask her to reschedule, now she's telling me she only does 9-4 Tues through Friday. So I guess if you work, you don't get help. I really don't understand why services like this are always on a tight normal business day when presumably most people would be unable to use it. Tempted to  and just forget about it. I've never really had an experience with a therapist that made me think the endeavor was worthwhile. I'll see if I can snag a time slot during a less busy time of the day, but I of course can't necessarily anticipate when someone is going to file an URGENT!@ ticket about a label printer that will make me have to cancel.
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Mar 30, 2021 20:51
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indigi posted:first, regarding the scheduling issue: see if you can find a different therapist, or find a place that specifically advertises non-standard hours. I wasn't gonna get therapy either for this reason because my schedule is very tight and hectic, but I found a place that is very flexible and has a bunch of therapists on staff Monday-Saturday with as-needed Sunday morning hours. I've worked both first and second shift over the past few years and my therapist has always been able to accommodate me, and when stuff was particularly tight has even seen me for sessions on his day off. it's worth scouting around a little bit to find a place that can work with your schedule. My current one offered to refer me another on the platform who could accommodate my schedule. Whether or not such a therapist is available, and has appointments within the next decade, we'll have to see. I've tried the therapy path like 3 times before this, and I've never come away from it feeling any better or with any tools to help me. One even practically yelled at me because I didn't know how to therapy and she was getting annoyed that I wasn't talking as much. I have social anxiety because I expect people don't want me around or talking to them, so no poo poo? This is probably the wrong thing to say here, but part of me suspects therapy is mostly a grift riding high on placebo effect and the power of suggestion. It also doesn't help that I can't establish long term relationships with these people because 1. I work for a living and can't see them regularly 2. I can't afford to keep seeing them when the free sessions run out.
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Apr 1, 2021 19:06
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Thanks all for the therapy chat. Therapist said that she would help me get another one, and like her ability to have sessions after 4pm, this turned out to be not quite the truth and she effectively said I'm on my own with that. The only other therapist on the service with sessions is also business hours only. I could probably snag a parking spot in the garage instead of the roof at work like usual and do the session from my car in a pinch, but eh. I'll probably check again in a week or two. Jorge Bell posted:Hi, therapy isn't a grift, sorry the therapists you've seen haven't worked out for you. Some therapists suck, and it can be especially hard if the things that drive you nuts (so to speak) are present in the clinical format - offices, scheduling, that kind of poo poo. Self sabotage is definitely something I could see my brain trying to do. I say placebo effect because it seems like it's a "I went to therapy and now I feel better because that's what therapy does", and since I haven't really had anything positive ever come out of the experience, that's all my cynical-rear end brain has to go on. There's also some degree of paranoia. I know HIPAA is a thing, but my first therapist was a middle school psychologist and I only ever saw her when I was in trouble for acting out (abuse at home and bullying at school will do that), so she was a cop and I wasn't telling her jack poo poo because there was no way she was gonna be on my side or not drop the case notes on someone else's desk. Not the best thought process to have when you're supposed to trust these people implicitly. thehandtruck posted:Ya maybe ur right maybe therapy isnt right for you. It's not right for everyone. there are other paths to healing and serenity. -But therapy does seem to be pretty effective at least statistically BUT there are also a lot of bad therapists out there so who knows. of the pool of therapists that i know, i probably wouldnt refer clients to even half of them. BUT my ears do perk up a bit when you say you've been to four and not a single one was able to offer any help whatsoever, u know? maybe the swapping so often is what's hindering you. like ive had clients say they just want to meet every few weeks and i tell 'em if you want that to be just kind of a check in and it makes you feel more sane and grounded to talk to me sure let's blast but i also tell them we probably won't be able to make any progress or chip away at what's ailing you. Yeah the swapping doesn't help, especially since therapy is very trust based. Hopefully I can find one I can see regularly and gel with.
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Apr 7, 2021 17:45
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empty whippet box posted:finally got our tax return last night - went to get a 2.99 4-pack of beers and checked the account expecting to see $43 ish, which would be for the next week, and saw multiple thousands instead. I guess it's no surprise but as a result i feel more clear headed and good today than I have in months. Resource scarcity does a loving number on your mental health. So relieved to be out from under that anxiety for now. If you need some extra cash to get through the week next time, hit up the goonbux thread here on CSPAM Edit: Checked out the thread and you're already there, cool. If anyone needs help though, don't be shy skooma512 has issued a correction as of 23:53 on Apr 8, 2021 |
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Apr 8, 2021 23:51
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DoubleDonut posted:I feel like this is a weird question for an adult to ask, but: How do I figure out if my insurance will cover a given therapist? My new job's insurance just kicked in and this is my first time not living in a small town where absolutely everyone nearby is covered by the only health insurance around, and I would prefer not to get owned by insurance network bullshit You call them, they run your card, and you go from there. In my case, the insurer referred me to providers who said my plan doesn’t cover anything and quoted me a 500 dollar initial appointment :v Somebody has issued a correction as of 18:37 on Apr 20, 2021 |
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Apr 15, 2021 23:26
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Chuka Umana posted:My dude this was in the 1990s. I don't think MPD gets written into shows because it's a real thing, it's just a very very convenient plot device, like amnesia.
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Apr 19, 2021 17:26
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I spent like 15 minutes deciding what to put on the TV. Just about everything pisses me off now. I don't watch to watch anything with cops, the military, rape, or torture, and that's already like 80% of TV that isn't geared to specifically to kids ( and even then). My comfort show at the moment is Air Disasters. Like, at least most of these were accidents or systemic failures and the people are trying their best at the time. StashAugustine posted:currently freaking out by myself at work because I, an alleged controls engineer, plugged in a badly wired device and blew out the fuse on my cubicle outlet. clearly this means I will be summarily fired and never find work again I mean, did you build the device yourself? Can you account for its integrity in every off the shelf capacitor and whatever the hell else?
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Oct 21, 2021 05:00
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I had an ingrown nail from an injury and it was so bad even the slightest bump or touch was so so painful. I wish I could say I can’t believe 5 doctors missed it. Probably trying to speed run every patient to rake in money
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Nov 6, 2021 01:27
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Get into gardening for mental health they said. Ok, so I bought some pots, soil, and seeds. I put way too many seeds in in the spring, and they choked each other out until I put the pot in the sun and finished them off for good. Now I'm trying again, put seeds in pot. I don't overwater, I sprout them in 3 different kinds of ways to cover my bases, I spread them out. No sprouts, nothing. This is catnip too, essentially a weed, still can't do it. So now the thing that supposed to help me, just reminds me I'm a failure who can't succeed no matter how much thought or work I put into it.
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Nov 16, 2021 21:43
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ricecult posted:The learning is the goal, but it's also finding something you can enjoy and want. Sometimes you have to try things you don't know if you'll like, but if you choose not to you won't be the first person, there are lots of people who don't connect with it. Point is, your first go at it says literally nothing about your capabilities or value, gardening or otherwise. Whether you want to try again is up to you, and similarly says nothing about you other than you want to learn to garden or you don't. If you stopped now, you have already succeeded in trying something on a recommendation, you didn't commit to being a good or lifelong gardener. Thanks for this. I'm going to keep trying.
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Nov 19, 2021 06:04
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My trichotillomania is getting worse. It used to just be twisting my hair all day, but no pulling. As the years wore on, there's now pulling and a big old bald spot on the back of my head. Even cutting my hair doesn't stop it anymore. Nor does tendon pain from doing this for hours a day every day, nor do the callouses that form on my fingers. Hats and gloves help a lot, but can't wear those most places at work, at least it will be winter soon. I'm on 20mg of Lexapro, and it didn't really help the trich. I'm also on adderall, which I'm sure is why it's getting worse, but if I don't have that I can't work. At least I found a barber who also has trich so I need not explain why the back of my head has all these spots.
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Nov 24, 2021 02:23
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AceOfFlames posted:I see your point, I really do. I used to believe that. My childhood dream was to change the world and help people. But the pandemic in particular just seems to have really opened my eyes as to how utterly selfish most people really are. Their brains will literally shut down their empathy the minute their lives are the least bit inconvenienced. Most people will run away from you if you have any sort of problems. You give them gifts and they don’t return your kindness. The only way people consider you a “friend” is essentially if you know only cool places to take them to and only if you knew them literally from childhood. and once they get a family, everyone else ceases to matter (my own mom once told me with no irony “my children are the only people in the world who matter to me. Everyone else can die in a hole for all I care”. I used to think it was just her but now I am convinced this is most people) I don’t expect an EXACT one to one quid pro quo but when I give and give and other people don’t return the favor, I feel like I am being taken advantage of. 
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Dec 8, 2021 06:59
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Ausmund posted:What are my options regarding mental health and work? Since covid started, Ive been paying my bills driving for doordash. I can usually get pretty consistent income. Lately its been kind of slow and Ive accumulated some credit card debt just from car maintenance and living expenses, and veing sloppy from not budgeting. A big part of this is my mental health being in the shitter and feeling overwhelmed. I also make dumb mistakes like passing a stopped school bus going the opposite way on a four lane main road(realized the second after I did it) and got a $250 ticket plus a $25 late fee. Sounds like a job for the Goonbucks thread. https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3903318&pagenumber=34#lastpost
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Dec 8, 2021 19:22
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DR FRASIER KRANG posted:what's the skinny on lexapro. anything I should be aware of vis a vis side effects or weird poo poo like sleepwalking? The first week is gonna feel really good. That goes away. You will feel tired, a lot. I was taking naps in fire exit stairs at work at one point. This also goes away, after 6 months or so. Sexual side effects are a real thing. It's still possible to cum but it takes a while. This can continue even after you stop the med, for an indeterminate amount of time.
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Jan 29, 2022 03:18
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Trying to focus on this Azure training video. And my mind just goes blank. It all just kind of bounces off. I don't know how I'm going to pass this exam next month. I don't even know what to focus on or what's actually on the exam, and who knows if this video truly has what I even need. Practicing with the portal itself is a nonstarter because this is meant for large enterprises, and oh I have to pay real money to get a virtual machine going or to actually do anything, and I can't code so I can't use any of the things related to deploying code, nor would I even know what to make or where to start. Even if I were to somehow get this certification, I have a strong feeling it won't count for anything in the real world and I'll still be stuck doing break/fix desktop and commuting for hours every day forever. I got Security+ and it meant absolutely nothing. I'm getting worse at desktop too, my one useful skill and I'm getting worse at it. Everyday I'm just overwhelmed at work and don't even know where to start. I've begun just avoiding looking at my queue because everything seems like an insurmountable problem that I'm just going to make worse. Even when I do pick something and do it I get tripped up in some other way, it feels like nothing matters and nothing I do can ever help me. I'm starting to wish I could get out of IT entirely, but nothing pays this good and even if I were to leave I don't know where I'd go and can't train for anything else due to ADD that meds don't seem to help with anymore. I'll be actively on adderall and still be flitting around tabs. I've always been on the bottom and now it seems like the only way out is to just be at the bottom somewhere else. There's no way out. I can't even attempt to network with other people in my org because everyone but us works from home.
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Feb 9, 2022 03:44
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Went to a concert for my favorite artist of all time. Drunk lady got told off by someone and then said talking is "allooowed" as a delayed ego salve, to him, and when he eventually left due to her bullying, she spent her victory lap getting drunker and eventually talking poo poo about people around her and probably me. I got a different seat, far too late. I was also paged by work during the concert, so I had to worry about that the whole time. So I'm pretty much not allowed a moment's peace or relaxation at any point. The reason why I bring the venting to the mental health thread is how sick I am of just getting run over by people all the time, no recourse. I didn't even bother telling security, I could tell they're just there to check tickets and reduce liability. If I said something, well, she's a white woman and feels entitled to do what she wants, and probably is. She'll just double down. I really wish I had joined the guy in the first place, but I didn't want to start a scene in front of the non-existent security and get kicked out. Violence is of course, off the table. It just makes me not want to be in public for pretty much any reason. I already have CPTSD, ADD, the typical alphabet soup of adverse childhood event experiencers. I always feel like being visible to people is an invitation for them to gently caress with you, and should they decide to do so, I'm not really allowed to stand up for myself because they have something over me or there's "rules". I'm trying to be mindful of the fact it was just her there doing that, and she was drunk and clearly took an ego hit and is doing the toddler thing of "You can't tell me what to do so I'm gonna do it mooore", but I've just been feeling enraged since it happened. This also just fuels my pessimism more. I rarely expect anything to go well anymore. If I try to relax or enjoy anything, someone or something is going to be on hand to stop me. The other shoe is always waiting to drop, I might as well just stay in my apartment because anything else is futile.
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Apr 28, 2022 18:38
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Jorge Bell posted:It's cool that you've already done the work of identifying why you're fixating on that specific moment (not wanting to be a doormat). I recommend actively trying to not give a poo poo. This sounds flippant and dismissive but it isn't. My life got way better when I stopped trying to analyze the behavior of everyone around me or determine what the right responses would be. You're internally building an annoying event into some kind of test of your character. I was not giving a poo poo, but as she got drunker she was just straight up talking poo poo about the band and people who were liking it, and then eventually other people around her and probably me too. It's less about being a test of character and just being abused by others with no recourse available. I'm tired of it, it's been a pattern my whole life and likely everyone else's, but I'd be lying to you if I didn't spend the next couple days after just full of impotent rage and wishing I had names and an address. To head off any notion of using the buttons, this violent feeling has since passed. In fact, my not giving a poo poo when she was called out the first time is probably why it got as bad as it did later. I was trying that, and it didn't work, and it only got worse. I also could have helped that guy not get bullied away from his seat, and the subsequent people that were including me. The only thing I should have seriously stopped giving a poo poo about was changing my seat, but I've always operated under the principle that rules only apply to me lol. Since I'm thinking about it. Here's a couple gems from that person. "They shoulda bought a more expensive ticket in the non talking section". Gee lady sorry I didn't buy Karen Insurance. "[unintelligible] that white man" Referring to the guy who told her to shut up before. She was a white woman, and about the most entitled person I've met in a little while lol. is pepsi ok posted:I feel a lot of this, especially the bolded part, and I know a lot of other people who also feel this way. I wish I had something helpful to say about it, but all I can say is that it loving sucks. I set my expectations as low as I possibly can but still everything is a loving hassle, nothing works right, and everyone is an rear end in a top hat. It's forced me to rearrange my life in order to avoid people, and I honestly don't want that. I want to be around people and to go out and do things and have a normal life but everyone is so broken that just doesn't seem possible anymore.  Like, in an objective sense, I haven't actually been hosed with in public, but I also go out of my way to avoid people and my instinct since I was a kid was to be invisible. "everything is a loving hassle, nothing works right, and everyone is an rear end in a top hat. " is exactly how I feel most days.
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May 11, 2022 03:00
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Uganda Loves Me posted:I very much relate to that. I don't think I'll put up with anyone else who treats the entire problem as being on my end. So many things are hosed, and you don't need a genetic predisposition to any mental illness to struggle. I don't think I would have ever attempted suicide if it wasn't for the constant stream of gaslighting and guilt tripping I received for struggling with capitalism. Yeah like, my ADHD would be more manageable or not a disorder at all if I wasn't responsible for keeping like 7 different critical objects on my person at all times and have to appear in different parts of a congested city on an exact timetable every single day.
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May 12, 2022 19:15
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GoLambo posted:How the gently caress do you actually get a talk therapist? I tried looking up therapists through my insurance and finally ended up with a psychologist that I'd been seeing for 4 weeks only for her to finally tell me "hey I'm not actually qualified to handle this degree of talk therapy I mostly do medications, you need to find someone else to provide that." Okay lady no hard feelings I understand but your profile said you provided therapy. Nearly all of them do, but I guess that's a big asterisk because then it turns out they do not. I thought I used to understand the distinction between clinical psychologists and clinical psychiatrists but now that I'm shopping around again the distinctions seem really blurry and nobody actually lists their practices like this. My current psych suggested calling my companies HR and asking them about services they provide and said it was common that they will offer up to 5 free therapy sessions but how accurate is this advice really? Excuse me sounding paranoid as a commie but the idea of even speaking a word to HR about any kind of mental health related issue sends a giant red flag signal up my spine that they're not going to give a poo poo or help me out or do anything but refer me to my insurance, who so far just tell me to use their lovely online search tool to look up a practice. Just getting a PCP through my insurance (United Healthcare) was a goddamned disaster and they have all literally lied about where their practice is actually located so I had absolutely no luck getting anyone local and ended up with a PCP in another whole fuckin city the last 3 times I've tried. I gave up on that part and just accepted my current PCP as is because at least they will just write a referral for me over the phone so whatever. I don't give a poo poo about medication and now I have that covered anyway, but I really want is a good old fashioned sit down and talk it out psych and so far nobodies advice within my own insurance or my doctor has actually gotten me closer to this. Video conferencing would be fine, preferable even. But my current psych said she did talk therapy at the interview stage and has coly come around to suggesting that isn't the case after a few sessions. Is talking to my HR a good idea? I live in Phoenix and have actual insurance through my work for whatever that matters. I've used my Employee Assistance Program (EAP) in the past. All this is is a list of providers and a free credit for sessions usually. They're still bound by HIPAA and cannot share any info with your employer, and often this is administered through your insurance so there's another layer of abstraction. You likely don't even have to talk directly to HR, just dig around in your company's intranet searching for EAP and there should be a number somewhere that you call, and again this is usually handled by the insurer and not your employer. The info might also be found whereever your benefits info is located. The therapist I used was the worst I've ever visited, but that's not really the EAP's fault.
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Jun 2, 2022 20:15
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Went to give blood, did the whole process, they rigged me up, I wasn't pumping fast enough into the sample bit despite having elevated blood pressure and heart rate. So now I get a bruise, wasted an hour, and nobody will be helped. Then I went upstairs to grab a computer. Door is locked. Call security to open it. Wait 20 minutes while standing before I just say gently caress it and leave. Nobody was helped. Put in effort, hit a block, all the work is invalidated and I'm left worse off than if I had done nothing at all. Story of my life.
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Jul 1, 2022 00:54
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Shifty Nipples posted:Pharmacy wouldn't do a prescription refill because my Medicare prescription insurance thing just stopped covering the quantity requested for whatever reason, they're saying they will only cover half the number of pills. So I call the insurance company and they say they will contact my doctor's office and have them do a new prescription for the quantity insurance will cover. Well today it looks like the new prescription is for the same damned quantity that was denied in the first place so the pharmacy won't fill it, unless of course I want to pay for what insurance won't cover. So I guess I have to wait until next week and call my doctor's office or something. This is all pretty dumb and irritating. My pharmacy started charging me 45 bux on top of the copay so I can get adderall there.
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Jul 2, 2022 04:48
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Ocean Book posted:ive found with journaling the point isn't to write anything coherent, the point is to just write your messy half formed thoughts down so your brain doesnt have to keep bringing them up Whenever I journal I end up feeling like "Why am I writing this, who is this for? It seems so self-indulgent" and "If I write this down it's going to be found and read" and it enough to get me to stop usually. Only the latter thought has a foundation in reality.
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Jul 26, 2022 20:06
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mawarannahr posted:have you tried to spin up a web forum on your computer and post threads about your life only you and your growing collection of forum bots will read? you could have them quote random parts of your post and respond “lmao”  I do use forums and reddit to pretty much journal, true. Although even then I'm applying a filter, because I doubt "hey I have an intrusive thought pattern revolving around a high school crush and have for 17 years and can't stop" will go over very well usually. Speaking of, that's actually going pretty well I've been getting more of a handle on it since I found literature and communities around the concept of "limerence", and it turns out that's also an ADHD symptom. Watching The Crappy Childhood Fairy on youtube and the relateds also helps, if only because it helps lift and shift the concept of "this is real love I'm feeling" to "no actually this is a trauma response and coping mechanism that got stuck in there". NeatHeteroDude posted:Does it feel like there is a stereotype of a "journaler" floating around in your head when you think of writing stuff down? I had a hard time starting for the first reason you gave- I just didn't feel like my personality matched the obnoxious narcissist I imagined writing about themselves. As it turns out, these people don't exist! I haven't met someone who journals who fits what I imagined the stereotypical journaler to be True. Jorge Bell posted:Journaling? Heh. How vain. Instead of doing that I'm going to sit alone in a dark room and cry masturbate for a year. That's much less self indulgent. Harsh but lol, true.
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Jul 28, 2022 00:26
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Made a list of goals that I wanted to complete at work today. And I failed to meet all of them. All the list does is remind me what useless poo poo I am. Couldn't complete 5 assignments, couldn't image 3 laptops, couldn't inventory. Studied Azure, but since I retained absolutely none of what I listened to today, it doesn't matter and doesn't count, so that's a fail too. Like between that and all the hair I pulled out on my desk, I should probably write in my notebook "you're actually just broken and no pill is going to help you". I signed up for BetterHelp, they want 320 bucks upfront. I haven't paid yet, I don't know if I can even trust them tbh. skooma512 has issued a correction as of 02:23 on Aug 4, 2022 |
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Aug 4, 2022 02:20
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veepfake posted:my 2 cents: i think it's good to have a thread like this on display for newcomers or regulars who want to try something new, if just to remember that a place to vent is there, or they are looking for helpful advice. if the unstickied thread isn't updated regularly people could be more likely to miss it entirely, and it is one thing i particularly liked as a newcomer to the forum Also, living in the Omnicrisis really sucks and people here are more likely to be up on the news and not be delusional about what it means, so a mental health resource thread close at hand is quite useful imo
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Aug 16, 2022 16:19
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What made you feel discouraged?
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Aug 31, 2022 01:51
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Jimlit posted:Are you taking anything else for it? What you described sounds exactly like what generic Adderall does to me. What does it do?
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Sep 9, 2022 20:06
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Ice Phisherman posted:
My grandma died this year and also nobody had a funeral for her either. My dad just placed the urn back in the house she was staying at when she died and left. It's probably throwing him for a loop too but... this is your one job man. I went with him to pick up the urn at least. He used this as an opportunity to guilt me into having kids. What about when you get old and die, who will deal with your remains? Idk, didn't seem to work out for her did it? My sister also discovered she had early stages of cancer in her uterus. They put her on radiation treatment, and kept it up when the main cancer was gone, they found some spots in her stomach and liver and kept at it... only for a second opinion to reveal those aren't cancer, and one was an ulcer the radiation probably made worse. I don't expect anything will be done to the doctors. She also blocked my number, with absolutely no provocation, because I had the audacity to get engaged and she was jealous, and that's what I've been told was the reason. This isn't without precedent either, she will (at the top of her lungs even) deny being my sibling if asked directly and has since she became a teenager. She was lying about her last name (thanks to internalized racism) in high school, someone asked if she was my sister, I said yes because yeah she is and I didn't know what was going ion, and the game was up and the next thing I know my mom picked her up from school early and she was in a rage, and eventually she dropped out. Also my parents don't really like that I'm engaged at all, let alone that I'm moving out of state because uh I can't afford California and probably never will. When I moved out a couple years ago, after my dad demanded that at the top of his lungs before I called his bluff, my dad said he would prefer I just live with them until they die, and since then has generously offered for me to come back and live in my childhood room and to just meet my fiance at a hotel to have sex (no exaggeration). I hate how everything with my family has to be so cursed and weird. I can't just have a sister and I can't just offer support to her. I can't get engaged and start my life and have them be happy for me, they prefer to sit there and seethe thinking "WHAT ABOUT ME?". And then I have to expose my fiance to this madness.
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Nov 2, 2022 22:23
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There's people in my apartment working on outlets now and I loving hate it. I didn't get any notice, just the super calling 15 minutes before they start when I'm already at work and can't do anything about it or drop back. I left my brain pills and bong out and I hope nobody helps themselves to anything, and I really just don't like the idea of people up in my place and my business in general. I don't want your help, I don't want you here, I don't care what the loving building inspector said. I had a feeling this was going to happen, but because I relaxed I didn't take steps to hide that stuff yesterday because I thought they were done already. I feel like I can't ever relax because I have to consider every possible angle I can be hit at all times, nothing feels safe, everything feels like it could just be taken away tomorrow and I have no recourse. A thread will get pulled and it will all unravel. I can barely even pivot away from working to handle whatever random demands come up so I'm just stuck here waiting for the hit to come. Like, imagine if this start the chain that leads to me getting evicted or something.
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Nov 22, 2022 00:23
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Crusty Nutsack posted:I feel this. I don't have anything potentially incriminating out (usually) but I still absolutely despise the idea that anyone my rear end in a top hat property manager decides can come in my apartment any time. yes, I know the laws about notice etc, but we all know they don't care. I've had bad experiences with landlords in the past with harassment and giving me 14-day notices because of poo poo that absolutely wasn't true, and it's given me tons of anxiety about renting and landlords ever since. Yeah it turned out fine. I have two new GFCI outlets because the inspector noticed they weren't and that's not code compliant. Nothing seemed to be missing, but I have ADD so half my poo poo is missing at any given time lol.
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Nov 23, 2022 00:55
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I was expecting a nice fat paycheck with overtime pay. Then it turned out I missed entering a day so my check was barely any different. Did all that work and sacrificed my time, just to totally gently caress it up at the very end. This is typically why I usually just do the minimum and hide the rest of the time, anything I do feels totally pointless and I'll be worse off for having tried at all. Whatever I do is just going to be unraveled at the last minute and the effort will have been for nothing. ETA: I like how it only took me about 30 minutes being back at work to discover a mistake I made and put me right back into stressed out "I hate myself and everything else and most especially myself" mode I was in last week. skooma512 has issued a correction as of 23:15 on Nov 28, 2022 |
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Nov 28, 2022 21:17
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SSJ_naruto_2003 posted:You know you still get paid for overtime even if you don't enter it right? They have to pay you. Talk to hr or manager and say you missed entering your time/need to submit a corrected time sheet I've already filed a ticket with HR. It's still not as easy as doing it right the first time, and my sadbrains just latches on to it as "See? You really can't handle basic poo poo" And then there's also the possibility they just refuse to deal with it and then I have to get increasingly aggressive about someone else correcting a mistake I ultimately made.
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Nov 28, 2022 23:58
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I got a 65, which is right at the floor. Like, I don't enjoy group conversations because I don't know how to get a turn talking between other people while also not interrupting or bringing up something irrelevant or referring to a point I wanted to make before the conversation moved on without being able to make it, at which point I haven't been able to say anything for a while, feel unwelcome, and that I'm hovering over a conversation and group I don't belong in. Conversation seems dull and shallow because all I can get out of most people is small talk. Community as a concept rings hollow to me because I was raised in US suburbs where lol community is only for the 4th of july parade and you will never see your classmates and neighbors in public the rest of the year. I suspect if I had more socialization and positive experiences in doing so, I wouldn't have had such a bad time with people as I became a pre-teen and teenager which wouldn't have encouraged me to avoid people as much as possible. ADD + bad times with people just mashed me into someone that can present autism like traits but isn't actually, I guess? The hardware was fine, just improperly configured. Oh and uh having an abusive dad didn't help either lol 
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Dec 2, 2022 04:54
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StashAugustine posted:Thinking about how a tendency to get really into something for a week or two, drop it for a while, and then circle back to it in a month or so is really bad at learning guitar. I also notice that I don't really have a lot of confidence in it which makes it hard to do anything beyond repeating basic patterns; plus I feel like I have to be in a very specific happy medium of having something to be a little emotional about but not completely frustrated You're not going to be any ''good" at guitar for the first 6-12 months and possibly longer. This timeframe shortens if you're practicing daily and have a younger brain, but the first few months are going to be rough for pretty much everybody and you're gonna have to put in the work. If you have an electric guitar, get an amp that will pipe all output to headphones. This helped me separate my brain from the idea that I was playing the guitar and so helped me just keep playing rather than stopping because I did something wrong or someone might hear.
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Dec 12, 2022 23:48
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| # ¿ May 10, 2024 01:03 |
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SSJ_naruto_2003 posted:Yeah, it's no big deal though and people do it all the time. As an update, the HR ticket was ignored for 2 weeks, their reply was basically "payroll advises you to contact payroll (through your manager)". He's out for the day and probably doesn't know how to do this, so it will be weeks if it's ever resolved. It just makes me feel worse since everytime I think "It's a simple mistake and people want to help you to resolve it" it's almost always wrong and that "you need to do everything exactly right the first time and asking for help just confirms you've failed and no you will not be helped loser" ends up being the attitude that wins out 
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Dec 19, 2022 22:55
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