(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
|
It feels cool having a degree and being on a job search for five months that has brought no fruit because none of the rare good-paying jobs that utilize that degree have ever bothered to interview me because they want more qualifications, and all the other jobs that at least will pay for rent and food will occasionally interview me and then decide I'm too qualified to be working there and then not give me the job. It rules, I love having to rely on a GoFundMe to pay the rent for the next few months, I love that I feel completely hopeless as to getting a job within that short time period, I love that when I complained about this a while back in another thread on here all the alleged socialists completely ignored me save for like one guy who tried to help but was in the wrong area to do so, god I just love everything.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 10, 2019 20:27
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 13, 2024 21:03 |
|
|
feel like rear end. got drunk and it just made me wander into a thread and melt down over personal poo poo and goons are weird assholes about that poo poo and don’t just let it be so i feel even dumber. wish i could get free therapy
SunAndSpring has issued a correction as of 17:24 on Mar 7, 2019 |
|
|
#
¿
Mar 7, 2019 08:56
|
|
|
Still jobless. Still feel like nothing good will ever happen. What really sucks is that I went to ask that resume thread in Ask/Tell's business subforum for help and I vented about how poo poo stuff was and got a bunch of dickheads lecturing me about how my attitude is bad and somehow every hiring manager can somehow sense that, and how I clearly need to just get even more training to get the job I went to college to get. Feels like the same dudes who post in the landlord thread post in there, just utterly loving sociopathic assholes who assume everything is clearly my fault for not bending down further to lick people's boots for something. Like holy poo poo, one of those loving geeks PM'd me to whine at me further about my "nasty attitude" but I sent him the pig with poop on its balls in response, so at least that felt good SunAndSpring has issued a correction as of 06:34 on May 12, 2019 |
|
|
#
¿
May 12, 2019 06:32
|
|
|
I just don't really know what to do when the money runs out. I'm going to try to take out whatever's left in my 401k this week but who knows what will happen if I don't get a job. My life was miserable living with my folks, I can't imagine it'd be better moving back in with them after I've proven I'm a total waste of time. I think a lot about dying but that would just hurt people I care about, so I'm just lost.
|
|
|
#
¿
May 13, 2019 04:29
|
|
got any sevens posted:it may sound insulting but i dont want it to, but have you tried just day labor jobs? like gardening or flagging for construction? its not great work but it keeps you busy and you make some money. did you do college recently? they might have job postings for office work or something on their wall, my community college still does it oldschool that way Graduated three years ago, and apart from the fact that I've got no muscles anymore from HRT, all the construction and labor stuff requires I have a car, which I do not have. I've applied to menial fast food poo poo and every time they ask if I'm still in college, and I say, "No," and that immediately makes them reject me.
|
|
|
#
¿
May 13, 2019 15:31
|
|
|
It really sucks I can't rely on my parents like others can because they're both white supremacists. loving dad owns a copy of the Turner Diaries and has a nice stockpile of rifles for the race war he swears is coming, and my mom is genuinely baffled and upset that I don't want to interact with someone like that and am not more grateful to him. God, some loving person tried to help but they were way the gently caress away in state and I don't want to move somewhere and be alone there. I just feel desperate because I will have absolutely nowhere to go if I gently caress this up, I don't understand why I keep failing to get a job. I guess I could try a GoFundMe again, but I just feel ashamed for panhandling.
|
|
|
#
¿
May 13, 2019 15:53
|
|
|
Just feel awful every day. I wish I could get a good job because it would let me afford all the stuff I really want because I feel like my transition is just stalling out. I can't afford anything like getting my face hair lasered off, getting my lovely face remade, getting rid of my dick, or any of that and it's just making me feel awful because I just feel like the government will never get any better and none of this will ever get easier for me. I keep reading some thread and getting legitimately angry at other people being able to afford their stuff through their own companies or w/e and meanwhile I'm stuck with some lovely job that won't leave me with any savings at all after I deduct all my monthly costs. I think a lot about dying; I don't feel like I'd have any will to go out and find a way to die, but I wish it would happen to me somehow. Can't even afford a therapist.
|
|
|
#
¿
Jun 17, 2019 04:09
|
|
|
It's loving amazing that every trans mental healthcare provider in the area save for 2 rejects insurance on the grounds of "patient privacy." Incredible. I could just sue the loving healthcare provider if they ever out me, why the gently caress would I need "privacy", it just sounds like they're fleecing me
|
|
|
#
¿
Jun 18, 2019 10:22
|
|
|
i should just detransition, there's no point to any of this if i don't have enough money, i'll just look like a guy no matter what and i act like a dude most of the time anyway
|
|
|
#
¿
Jun 25, 2019 17:33
|
|
|
I just feel like I'm a lovely and contempt-filled person, partially because of how I was raised since my parents were hardcore right-wingers (dad loves reading Stormfront, mom agrees with most of his opinions), but mostly because I guess I just gravitate towards being an argumentative and hateful person. Like gently caress me, I went to one session of group therapy for trans people and left because I thought the people there looked ugly and that freaked me out since my dumbass lizard brain thinks that I'll be like that if I don't find some trans woman that passes to look up to. I get into fights constantly and I never really recognize anyone else's opinions as worthy in comparison to my own. God I loving hate that I can't afford any therapy at all, I need to fix myself because I'm just an awful human being as I am.
|
|
|
#
¿
Jul 8, 2019 12:37
|
|
|
Got dumped because I’m a depressed rear end in a top hat. poo poo sucks. Only good thing I’ve had happen to me is some old gently caress called me back after I told her she’d have to talk to a manager about getting a refund for something to ask for my name (presumably because she was mad I told her the manager is asleep since it’s 3 in the morning and somehow that offended her?) and I just laughed at her and hung up the phone.
|
|
|
#
¿
Jul 13, 2019 10:25
|
|
|
Still feel really bad about the break-up. Just feel very confused because my ex (that really feels bad to type) says it’s because I didn’t do anything to change my depressive mindset but I just don’t get what to do without a therapist to help, and I was asking him to do more stuff with me and get myself out of my misery cave for a change. It feels really bad, I thought my talk with him was going to correct the course and we would get back on track since I had some rough spots with intimacy but I guess I just kept getting into awful moods for him to care about me anymore in that way. God, I thought I was going to say “I love you” to him soon because I very much enjoyed the time we spent together. I wish I wasn’t such a grim person, I feel like I just constantly ruin things for myself.
|
|
|
#
¿
Jul 14, 2019 15:02
|
|
|
Just feel worthless. I really wish he hadn’t bothered to dump me. What’s even the point, it certainly doesn’t make me feel happy and I doubt he feels great about it either.
|
|
|
#
¿
Jul 16, 2019 17:24
|
|
Ugato posted:for this much at least I can say the point is that he didn’t care enough to stay around. it sucks now but it’s better to not stay attached to someone like that. I just don't know, he's done so much for me and I've known him for so long. I just feel miserable since it's probably all my fault.
|
|
|
#
¿
Jul 18, 2019 03:42
|
|
|
Just feels like I have absolutely no control over my life. I feel certain society will collapse in 10-20 years, I'm so pessimistic about the left's chances just judging from how no one can loving agree on anything, but I can't seem to make anything go right so I can at least be happy in those years. Can't get a job that makes me a good amount of money so I don't feel stressed out every time I spend on anything, couldn't hold together a relationship because I'm such a loving chore to be around, can't stop feeling ashamed about being trans. I feel like I just constantly seek out arguments here because I feel like maybe I can have some control over something small if I can at least win a stupid rear end fight online, but all the loving people here are just way better at being a petty rear end in a top hat than I am because I have barely any sense of humor or ability to banter.
|
|
|
#
¿
Aug 5, 2019 13:23
|
|
|
lol there’s like no women on this loving board, just dozens of dipshits who listen to cum town and who cry if you mildly critique them. stresses me the gently caress out.
|
|
|
#
¿
Aug 9, 2019 18:33
|
|
Addamere posted:There are several women. Lastgirl, Pick, and Zyla, to name a few, are openly women and talk about things from women's perspectives. I just gotta stop posting here. Stresses me out to get mobbed by dumb assholes including some lovely mod for making fun of them for posting like right wingers who want free poo poo.
|
|
|
#
¿
Aug 9, 2019 18:50
|
|
|
And immediately after I post all that, some alt posts something I said to people in private on another site to win an internet fight. I told those people that I used to be far right because my parents were and that my parents would constantly abuse me if I didn’t act in line with their own beliefs, but I got out when I went to college and got some independence and distance. Some jackass remembers this and decides it’s great ammo to use to win an argument, because of course I still like the ideology of the people who used to hit me constantly and threaten to send me to boot camp for being disobedient/unmanly/whatever reason they had at the time. Just insanely loving petty, this site. I should just log out for good.
|
|
|
#
¿
Aug 9, 2019 20:44
|
|
|
Maybe I should contact an admin considering that rear end in a top hat mod Sheng just sat there and let people pile onto me over it instead of intervening.
|
|
|
#
¿
Aug 9, 2019 22:05
|
|
|
I need to find a real outlet for doing leftist stuff or really anything at all because I just feel that posting about politics all the time is killing my brain and I just really don't like a lot of people here, but my schedule is so hosed by working night shift that I barely do anything these days except sleep until like 5-6pm, leave to go to work at 10, come back home at 8am, and sleep again.
|
|
|
#
¿
Aug 13, 2019 06:00
|
|
|
life just feels very miserable for me because I don't make enough money to afford anything I need, and I've been having troubles with suicidal ideation for a long time because of it. I don't understand why I can't get a good job with the degree I have. I want to be able to buy stuff to make myself appear more feminine, surgeries and clothing and whatever so that I can live my life without people zeroing in on me being trans, but I'm just living paycheck to paycheck. I tried going to some trans support group but there was no one to really look up to, just a bunch of people stuck in the same stupid situation I am and none of them really interested in passing 100% all the time like I am.
|
|
|
#
¿
Aug 15, 2019 01:35
|
|
|
Just feel hopeless. Why can’t anyone help me, I just need to get a good job and then I can relax and feel human again, but no one loving talks to me, it’s all just me talking to a loving void
|
|
|
#
¿
Aug 15, 2019 12:47
|
|
|
Is there anything I can do on my one for DBT? I want to improve my mood, I feel too angry all the time.
|
|
|
#
¿
Aug 26, 2019 00:33
|
|
|
I feel like I've had a problem with actively seeking out scenarios that make me angry. I feel like that's already a terrible idea when I get really angry at little things anyway, which makes me do incredibly stupid poo poo like melting down over stuff, randomly attacking people because they believe in things that I don't really like myself, and so on. Honestly, I really hate that a lot of it is tied to my account here forever because I really hate making myself look like an rear end in a top hat on such a small place because people make note of it and remember that when they see me posting elsewhere. I dunno, maybe I should just not concern myself with that since I think the consequences of my really dumb actions matters less than that I keep doing dumb stuff. At the very least, I've stopped reading the threads that get me into an awful mood, such as the climate change thread because I feel like that really stresses me out. Baby steps, I guess.
|
|
|
#
¿
Aug 28, 2019 12:45
|
|
|
Just feel really frustrated with how other people seem to always think being supporting means just acknowledging something I said. “I get sad about job searching too” doesn’t help me search for a loving job, for instance, and “Yeah I get nervous about passing too” does not help me pass. It just feels awful to constantly have things echoed back at me while I’m stuck in a rut. I don’t know why people think it helps me and then get mad at me when I keep having the same problem.
|
|
|
#
¿
Sep 8, 2019 11:15
|
|
|
nothing changes in my life. I can't seem to exert any power or control over anything, least of all myself. I wish this would just stop.
|
|
|
#
¿
Sep 25, 2019 23:51
|
|
|
I just hate feeling so powerless. So many problems in the world and my life and all I can do is make myself look weak and pathetic arguing and hollering at people who are barely associated with the causes. like, gently caress, i just spent my morning randomly yelling at a guy because i saw he liked a show I consider as really transphobic. dude wasn’t even posting at the time. I’m such a loving hysterical and useless idiot
|
|
|
#
¿
Sep 26, 2019 00:59
|
|
|
I feel very paranoid about going outside and participating in stuff these days. I mean, poo poo, the poo poo people can get away with doing to you if you’re trans is unreal. Even leftist spaces like this can be bad, excusing transphobic comments from people are who are friends with the right figures as “just jokes” or “just questions”. I mean, gently caress, the amount of poo poo I’ve gotten for just going “some stuff Nick Mullen says is really transphobic” is unreal. I just wish I could stop being trans, it’s a huge target painted on my back that announces to people that it’s ok to humiliate and hurt me.
|
|
|
#
¿
Sep 26, 2019 02:39
|
|
|
nvm let's not think about such things
SunAndSpring has issued a correction as of 10:00 on Oct 2, 2019 |
|
|
#
¿
Oct 2, 2019 07:13
|
|
|
eh better to stop freaking out in public
SunAndSpring has issued a correction as of 07:54 on Oct 7, 2019 |
|
|
#
¿
Oct 6, 2019 07:43
|
|
|
I still feel down about my ex breaking up with me because I feel like if I wasn't such a gently caress-up, I'd still be in the relationship. I miss being able to be close to him.
|
|
|
#
¿
Oct 25, 2019 08:50
|
|
|
Yeah, feels like I should find more private places to vent. Had someone use my breakup to try and own me in an argument, goons are so loving stupid sometimes.
|
|
|
#
¿
Oct 26, 2019 05:26
|
|
|
lol mods didn't even bother banning that fucker. what a poo poo site this is, where the mods will allow some jackass looking in here to weaponize the poo poo that makes people depressed.
|
|
|
#
¿
Oct 26, 2019 17:56
|
|
Finicums Wake posted:it would be good and cool if people using stuff shared in this thread to be lovely to others outside this thread was a guaranteed probation You’d think but I guess I’m not gonna see that dude punished for anything because the mods here don’t seem to give much of a poo poo.
|
|
|
#
¿
Oct 28, 2019 09:01
|
|
Reality Sinner posted:Did you report it Of course. Dude hasn’t even gotten a sixer, lmao.
|
|
|
#
¿
Oct 28, 2019 09:09
|
|
|
Will anti-depressants make me able to feel actual joy again? I feel so empty when doing most things these day.
|
|
|
#
¿
Oct 29, 2019 10:33
|
|
|
I just don’t know how to communicate with people because no one went through the effort of teaching it to me. All my parents were concerned with was making sure I said the right political slogans for the far right, and my relationship with them didn’t leave me with the impression that I was loved much. I just don’t know how to interact with people without making them upset or angry or confused, and god help me I’m stuck in a forward-facing job where I have to talk with strangers every day and it’s making me sick with anxiety because I can’t tell if any interaction went well or not.
|
|
|
#
¿
Nov 1, 2019 18:37
|
|
|
I mean, god, I can't trust people anymore because I can't interact with them right. I mean, take for example this: I had what I assumed was a pleasant interaction with someone, had a chat and everything before getting them their stuff and on their way, and I thought nothing of it. Turns out, by not "acknowledging" them as soon as they walked in (since I was busy with something else), I had ruined their whole day, and every other little mistake made made them angry to the point of them going online to leave a poor review and calling customer support to get a full refund on everything. This results in me getting written up and just flat out threatened by the manager with getting my shifts reduced if I didn't shape up. How do I trust strangers after that, if they're willing to get me fired and ruin my life if I make them slightly uncomfortable? My life is just terrifying because of this, I don't know if someone is going to be mad or not because I barely understand them at all and I don't know what makes anyone tick. I mean, Jesus, even chatting with people online scares me because I don't loving know any of these unspoken rules and so I always wander into some scenario where I make myself look awful because I say something that makes someone mad that I had no idea would make them mad and then they start getting irritated with me and I escalate things because I start to get angry back since to me it doesn't seem justified, and then everything goes to poo poo. I don't know how to make this stop, I wish I didn't have this lovely burden of having to fix myself.
|
|
|
#
¿
Nov 1, 2019 19:25
|
|
|
Alright glad that’s out of my system
SunAndSpring has issued a correction as of 02:59 on Nov 2, 2019 |
|
|
#
¿
Nov 1, 2019 23:55
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 13, 2024 21:03 |
|
|
I just feel sad about being trans and wish I wasn't. I don't get where I'm supposed to find pride in it because it just feels like it makes me a target for right wing people to hurt and the amount of money I have to spend to feel good about myself just drives me to further stress and depression. I sometimes contemplate just ditching this account and re-regging, never to mention being trans again, because I can't stand the paranoia that I get from thinking some weird stalker on another site is looking at my posts.
|
|
|
#
¿
Nov 3, 2019 04:21
|
|