(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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I've had hella anxiety since getting my first job after college and I finally figured out the reason: I literally never stopped working on classwork during my four years of college and now I have a 9 to 5 where I don't have to work even a fraction as hard to get things done.
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Aug 18, 2019 19:56
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| # ¿ May 10, 2024 16:32 |
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I was laid off from my job in 2020 and am now virtually disabled and living with my aging parents. I greet every day with a warm smile knowing the world is going to find a new way to hurt and demean me each day.
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Jul 10, 2023 17:36
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No. 6 posted:That sounds rough. How is the environment with the parents? Is that a positive, negative, or neutral force for you?
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Jul 10, 2023 18:34
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I am seeing a therapist but it seems that they're ability to helpbme materially limited and i cant loving compartmebtalize my pain into tidy once a week sessions. I already had a five day ptsd attack because how humid it is here. My parents didnt even have ac in this house until i started having waking flashbacks that made me start screaming and throwing thing
SardonicTyrant has issued a correction as of 18:48 on Jul 10, 2023 |
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Jul 10, 2023 18:46
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No. 6 posted:It's hard for me to wait a week to discuss what's emotionally overwhelming me at that moment. What kind of coping or avoidance do you usually find for yourself? I also listen to musicals
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Jul 10, 2023 19:29
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I am well aware that i am trapped in a negativr thought cycle and that i am hurting my parents and my girlfriend wheni am like this. I just have no way to escape it anymore. I've lost the ability to cate for myself
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Jul 10, 2023 19:34
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I would if i knew i wouldnt cstch covud from the unmasked staff.
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Jul 10, 2023 22:24
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Jorge Bell posted:Do you know the staff at your local inpatient clinic doesn't wear masks? Your response reads more like a reactionary dismissal than a genuine concern about catching COVID. That is a stupid question to ask in 2023
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Jul 10, 2023 22:36
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Jorge Bell posted:You could have said "I assume the answer is no so I'm not even going to look into it" but chose to brush it off. Reactively disqualifying care options is part of going through poo poo sometimes. It might be helpful for you to critically examine that. Um, sorry for snapping yesterday, i was in a ptsd attack all day. Gf is trying to take care of me today. I'll try to pursue some of the stuff people posted later
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Jul 11, 2023 14:07
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Josherino posted:Oof.
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Jul 11, 2023 17:14
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skooma512 posted:But otherwise yeah, I acknowledge my paragraphs were full of spiraling crazy. I understand on a logical level that they're irrational, but knowing they're irrational doesn't make the feelings stop.
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Jul 15, 2023 22:41
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Jorge Bell posted:Dad died, time for bed lol SardonicTyrant has issued a correction as of 20:42 on Jul 20, 2023 |
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Jul 20, 2023 20:40
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My girlfriend has been having bad night terrors and waking flashbacks recently. It's so hard making sure she eats and takes care of herself.because she will forget and i don't have the executive action to remind her all the time. Right now she is starving and i cant convince her to spend some of our remaininf cash to order some breakfast for delivery. So i'm just hanging out in another room mentally preparing for another day of sheer unpredictability. Poverty is an awful state to be in
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Jul 31, 2023 13:08
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I feel like i am making a lot of progress on my part, but i dont live in a vacuum. My parents are miserable in their own way and my girlfriend's mood is wildly unstable. It doesn't matter if i feel i've felt accomplished one day becsuse there's no stability in my life from one day to the next. Siiigh. And the thing is, i understand the real answer to resolving this is stable housing and a steady income but you know, capitalism likes to gatekeep those and we are not well enough to figure out the sphinxes's riddle to employment SardonicTyrant has issued a correction as of 13:22 on Jul 31, 2023 |
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Jul 31, 2023 13:19
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I dont know if i can believe that right now but i'll keep an open mind. Best i can do for now
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Jul 31, 2023 13:42
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Girlfriend is feeling a bit better. This hurts so much. I'm the only one of us who can semi-reliably cook, and even then maybe a meal or two and then the rest of the night is takeout. And if I can't cook atm, then neither of us eats, simple as that, until either I find the energy somewhere in me or someone donates us enough money to order something. My parents have been helping paying for some basics but I can never put together a list because I'm holding back the hoover dam's worth of emotional anguish at any time and that makes conversation difficult. Thing is I don't feel like I'm spiraling right now. I know I'm pouring out a lot of emotion in this post but I don't feel overwhelmed by it. On the upside, having a guitar to stream helps to relax me, and I've been looking into yoga, which is honestly really interesting as both a form of exercise and mindfullness as well as a historic tradition. SardonicTyrant has issued a correction as of 16:00 on Jul 31, 2023 |
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Jul 31, 2023 15:55
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Gravid Topiary posted:refried beans (canned are fine) and tortillas (packaged are fine) and the thickest salsa you can find is my zero effort meal when i'm in a bad way mentally and don't want to eat let alone cook Also nothing wrong with my wall-scrolls, more people should be watching Redline.
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Aug 6, 2023 11:18
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That's rough to deal with skooma. When I invited my mom to my apartment a few times she immediately set about cleaning everything against my feeble protests. I felt so ashamed that the next time my dad came over I asked him to take a hotel because I was so deeply ashamed of how 'messy' our place was. He took that very very personally and basically stopped talking to me for years. It was world-shaking when my girlfriend moved in with me and how utterly easy and unstressful it was to have her existing in the same space as me (because my girlfriend is cool and good). SardonicTyrant has issued a correction as of 19:17 on Aug 14, 2023 |
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Aug 14, 2023 19:14
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Ice Phisherman posted:have you ever thought for a single second about your parents needs and their needs alone, to the total exclusion of your own sanity and happiness
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Aug 14, 2023 21:45
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all good, I might've been a bit snippy about it.
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Aug 15, 2023 11:57
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Um, are there any vets in this thread? If we were to explain how our ptsd affects as in terms of, like, being in a room and not realizing your safety is off and and you didn't clear the chamber, would that make sense, that feeling? I'm not a vet, but when I'm focused on something and someone tries to grab my attention I tend to snap at them and only realize I only wanted to ask them to stop after the fact.
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Aug 27, 2023 20:32
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Consummate Professional posted:hello, vet here. I’m not sure I empathize with this exact scenario as my stuff was always supposed to be chambered and safety off. Edit: Like, someone I know died before christmas last year between discord posts. I just live in a world where people my age are starting to drop dead like that, and I'm supposed to keep that in check at all times, but my mom is allowed to scream at me and threaten me and call me an abuser if I stain a bathroom sink in the basement she never uses. I took care of a mentally ill gf and a mentally ill myself in 2022 and today, and I feel like I'm being told I'm irresponsible if I let dishes pile up in my room. I guess, I'm always interested in vet perspectives, because it's 2023 and covid means I feel like I live in a world of lethal and arbitrary violence, and I seek that perspective to better learn how to cope with it, I guess. Edit edit: I guess the issue is, I don't feel comfortable sharing this with people who I don't feel would understand or respect my perspective. SardonicTyrant has issued a correction as of 13:51 on Aug 28, 2023 |
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Aug 28, 2023 13:16
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Josherino posted:You aren't alone - funny enough (as a vet myself), I'm always interested in hearing out or understanding perspectives from folks who haven't served. I guess like, I'm not a vet and I never went to med school, but I did work as a supermarket cashier making minimum wage for about 4 years. By the time I left to pursue college full time, I had saved a manager's life when she had a seizure on the floor, saved a person's foot when they stepped on broken glass, stopped a scammer from ripping off an old lady, helped an old woman who was about to collapse on the floor by helping her to a chair, and so on. After each time, I did my best to anticipate for the next event. I slowly nudged our boss to keep each first aid kit on the floor stocked up with bandages, kept track of the wet floor signs, etc etc etc. I did all of this on a minimum wage and no respect from my family, my friends, or the place I worked for my efforts. I did all of this because at the end of every day of my life, I've always wanted to help people no matter my situation or my station. And like, at some point I realized I live in a world on fire, with people who can't notice the world through their own pain, and don't seem all that interested in each other in the first place. And I guess, I'm trying to find out to leave that place in my mind. Right now, I've been writing a story about the great fire of rome because I love reading about history, and it's been very theraputic, putting a lot of my thoughts and feelings into that one story idea. It turns out, if you spend your days thinking the world is on fire, you inject that commentary into a lot of historical contexts Zeroisanumber posted:Huh. You ever get checked for ADHD? I just got diagnosed a bit ago and your situation isn't the same as mine but the explosive temper and "mental safety checks" and letting plates pile up all sound very familiar. . SardonicTyrant has issued a correction as of 08:42 on Aug 30, 2023 |
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Aug 30, 2023 08:36
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Jorge Bell posted:There's a lot of work that needs doing that doesn't get rewarded in capitalist systems. Don't think of it as a fault for making your home/neighborhood/workplace better. The problem is with the system you live under, not you, and contributing positively to our individual domains is basically the most that any given person can really do. I basically only ever write essays or letters when I have do, I haven't written anything for enjoy it since grade school, there's a lot of trauma there to unpack one day. But I've been writing some letters to our favorite creators along with our thoughts. I'd like to mail them at some point and hopefully start a correspondance one day. Same idea as throwing a message in a bottle into the ocean; it may not get heard, but it feels good throwing something of myself out into the world in a way where it's not gonna hit anyone.
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Aug 30, 2023 10:00
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Been feeling pretty dissociated the past few weeks. Only realized it recently, but I'm sure it will pass at some point. Gonna tell my therapist about it. Actually, what I'm trying to get is a cpap machine for my sleep apnea. I got diagnosed with it once a long time ago but I didn't like using the cpap, but this time I've gotta commit to using it because I'm, heh, tired of being this tired all the time.
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Dec 11, 2023 04:37
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Reading through The Body Keeps The Score, holy poo poo it explains what I've been going through so well, stuff like mindfulness never quite clicked with me until I read it, I feel more relaxed and in tune with the present than I have in weeks.
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Feb 29, 2024 23:14
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| # ¿ May 10, 2024 16:32 |
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I'm trying to eat three square meals a day and plenty of sleep. Not exactly improving my mood but I feel stable more often.
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Apr 22, 2024 00:25
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