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Leroy Diplowski posted:Having been on the hiring side a few times, I can attest that the person accross the table is probably going to hire you based on how "likable" you even if they are telling themselves that they are looking for a qualified candidate. The lovely thing is that "likable" can often be codeword for white guy. Even ignoring the racism angle, "likable" is a highly variable standard and you never have any idea what it's gonna be with each interviewer. One might like you to talk straight while another wants you to hit every cliche jobhunting codeword. When applying for low level customer service jobs when younger, I'd occasionally go for a confident "it's a simple job after all, I can handle it np" approach. Sometimes that would instantly get me the job, sometimes the temperature in the room would drop 20 degrees and the interviewer would get a look on their face like I just shoved a barrel of lemons up their rear end. Interviews (and the job hunting process in general) are built on constantly changing rules and there's simply no way to know which set of rules you're playing by at any given time.
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Feb 25, 2019 15:12
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Yeah and like statistically men get interviews at higher rates then women for no other reason then they are men. Like studies have anonymized resumes for companies and suddenly the rate of women getting interviews was parable with the rate they were putting in applications, instead of significantly lower compared to men. It's gotta be even harder for non-white people and especially women of color. There's shitloads of bias out there (intentional or otherwise).
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Feb 25, 2019 19:41
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Just had two 30 minute interviews back to back and now am waiting to hear back so I can take an assessment. Joy.
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Feb 26, 2019 23:26
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I just need to lie relentlessly at this point. I don't know what the gently caress else is gonna get me a good paying job. I dunno if I can just make up whole-sale experience out of cloth or what but god help me I can't loving keep loving losing out to some other stupid rear end in a top hat who interviewed.
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Feb 28, 2019 08:03
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yeah i'm lying like crazy on my resume at this point
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Feb 28, 2019 09:23
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capitalism is failing its workers woah weird
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Feb 28, 2019 11:12
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if you are going to gently caress with workplaces after they reject or fire you, don't let them know it was you. You know that HR departments keep blacklists, spread them around, and good luck proving that you can't work because your name was featured on "Patriot small business owners OFFICIAL facebook group". Once it gets out that you have an attitude other than "OH THANK YOU GREAT AND POWERFUL JOB CREATOR" you can find yourself bounced from your industry, especially in working class jobs where the Mike Rowe mindset reigns. and honestly only work for evil megacorps. Small business owners are loving insane and entitled in ways that mere managers rarely are. I've got one from years back that routinely doesn't comply with background check requests and is trying to hurt me to this day. (lol I actually told this fucker that all the episodes of a show that he was an executive producer on were up on youtube. He thanked me and fired me a week later to dodge ACA healthcare requirements.)
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Feb 28, 2019 16:00
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i signed an arbitration agreement with HR this morning. new policy baby, HR says this really streamlines things and makes any event much less complicated
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Feb 28, 2019 16:26
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if you're gonna lie (and you should) try to add a few more months of experience here and there. I added a couple months for one job and exaggerated the amount of hours at another. those are small enough lies to get past people, don't add years or things you haven't done that seem way too over your head. something that you could at least plausible bs your way through is fine, unless the person you're talking to has been doing that activity. another lie I usually do is add a task that my boss had me assist with, but I acted as if I did it all myself. so long as you know enough about it to answer a question about it, you should be fine. e: also, if you worked at a place that went under, no one can verify whether you lied or not. so feel free to embellish that more.
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Feb 28, 2019 16:32
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It's mostly that there's no jobs that I have experience for at all. I've got a degree, but other than that, nothing. These jobs, the rare ones that do pop up in my field, all want me to have done an internship I think, and unlucky me I didn't work for free while also trying to manage college studies.
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Mar 1, 2019 05:43
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SunAndSpring posted:It's mostly that there's no jobs that I have experience for at all. I've got a degree, but other than that, nothing. These jobs, the rare ones that do pop up in my field, all want me to have done an internship I think, and unlucky me I didn't work for free while also trying to manage college studies. I did an internship as part of my master's and now I'm applying for jobs that require a GED because nobody will hire me, so if it makes you feel any better, it probably would not have been meaningfully helpful. The most depressing thing about job hunting is the dawning realization that there's no hope to improve my standard of living or acquire even a living wage despite all this useless education, because being able to read, write, research, and communicate just aren't very useful skills. I've been putting in hundreds of applications at the university I did my undergrad and graduate degrees at but I've only gotten one interview, because attending the school isn't good enough to work there. Well, that and all the rejections that just outright ignore me afterwards or tell me I was a great candidate but juuuuust behind the actual, acceptable candidate. Someone I know from my cohort in grad school not only got hired for one adviser position I applied to, but then got promoted to another, better advising position in our former department I had also applied to, and he was a psychopathic ex-marine piece of poo poo who had nothing but naked racism and contempt for non-white men. I put in another application today to be a generic secretary and one to be a credit card representative at the bank and I often think if I'm still doing that kind of work or applying when I turn thirty I'm just gonna kill myself, lol
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Mar 4, 2019 22:18
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Frog Act posted:Someone I know from my cohort in grad school not only got hired for one adviser position I applied to, but then got promoted to another, better advising position in our former department I had also applied to, and he was a psychopathic ex-marine piece of poo poo who had nothing but naked racism and contempt for non-white men. It really is just mostly who you know. At least the business/finance classes are straight up in telling you that it is all about "networking" to get a job. At least the programs I was in were. Frog Act posted:I put in another application today to be a generic secretary and one to be a credit card representative at the bank and I often think if I'm still doing that kind of work or applying when I turn thirty I'm just gonna kill myself, lol Don't kill yourself, kill the rich. Alternatively just rob a bank or something and dip out to S. America. What's the worst that will happen, you'll die?
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Mar 4, 2019 23:10
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the job i thought i was getting just dropped me, literally a day after they set up my pay and told me when to report. apparently, only after they looked at my physical did they realize the thing i had told them in every interview: I have a heart problem that means i cannot do manual labor. now i've been out of school too long without a job. my loving degree is worthless. Information Systems and Supply Chain Management my rear end.
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Mar 9, 2019 05:23
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SunAndSpring posted:god i should just fake having experience in poo poo because this is loving aggravating. every stupid loving job here is like "oh we need you to have 2+ years of being an administrative assistant" on their requirements, so I should just loving fake having one for two years, have a friend pretend to be my supervisor from there or some poo poo, so I can get SOME loving interview my god. emphatically: YES. more people do this to get off the ground than not. thats why everyone is so loving incompetent, everywhere. SunAndSpring posted:I just need to lie relentlessly at this point. I don't know what the gently caress else is gonna get me a good paying job. I dunno if I can just make up whole-sale experience out of cloth or what but god help me I can't loving keep loving losing out to some other stupid rear end in a top hat who interviewed. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxQCKz91qEs
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Mar 9, 2019 07:12
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i have a full-time job and it took me seven years and two different career pivots to get one. finding a job in this environment is hosed eight ways from sunday. it's less of a job market than it is a job aristocracy. and not having any job at all makes you feel worthless if you can't find a job in the field of your degree, look into programs at a community college. bonus points if they have a connection to a relevant place related to the program
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Mar 10, 2019 20:10
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lie on your resumes no one is checking didn't graduate college? fuckin say you did. worst case scenario they'll call and ask to see a transcript (they won't) and then you say "oh cool but looks like I actually got another job offer so nm." No one is checking unless you need a security clearance. Moridin920 has issued a correction as of 18:09 on Mar 11, 2019 |
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Mar 11, 2019 18:07
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It owns so loving hard that I'm apparently not even qualified enough to be a cashier at a grocery store or do shipping at a warehouse. The only thing that makes sense is that something comes up on my background check that basically guarantees I won't get hired. I just wish I knew hot to threaten or blackmail myself to employment since that seems like the only way I'd get a job.
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Mar 12, 2019 18:46
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What's worse is that I just know that even if I manage to find a job, it's going to fill me with nothing but indignation. Just pure contempt that I had to go through nearly a years worth of grovelling and rejection just to do some minimum wage bullshit that somehow makes me feel worse than being unemployed.
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Mar 12, 2019 18:51
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wow this is almost a harder read than the climate thread
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Mar 12, 2019 19:51
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Socks4Hands posted:wow this is almost a harder read than the climate thread
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Mar 12, 2019 21:19
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Socks4Hands posted:wow this is almost a harder read than the climate thread ironically any success in this thread just leads to greater carbon expenditures as people commute to their new job (which is probably far as gently caress away) 
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Mar 12, 2019 21:27
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WampaLord posted:ironically any success in this thread just leads to greater carbon expenditures as people commute to their new job (which is probably far as gently caress away)
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Mar 12, 2019 21:28
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get that OUT of my face posted:the NYC subway is annoying, but i'd take it on its worst day over commuting by car any day, so i'm glad i use it I felt the same way about the LA metro. It took me 1.5 to 2 hours to get from Pasadena to LAX during rush hour and the time was the same if I drove or if I used buses/light rail and it was awesome as gently caress to be able to read books while commuting I read the entire Song of Ice and Fire series while commuting!
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Mar 12, 2019 21:44
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WampaLord posted:I felt the same way about the LA metro. It took me 1.5 to 2 hours to get from Pasadena to LAX during rush hour and the time was the same if I drove or if I used buses/light rail and it was awesome as gently caress to be able to read books while commuting hi pasadena goonfriend
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Mar 12, 2019 21:48
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Moridin920 posted:lie on your resumes I wish this wasn't good advice but it is. I was unemployed for longer than I care to say and what finally pulled me out of it was just completely loving lying like I never did before in my life. I was already embellishing a little bit here and there but when I went full sociopath things got way better. I still didn't get a job right away but all of a sudden I was getting called into interviews at least once a week. Realizing that my college degree was worth much less than just bullshitting people on the spot and the fact I came close to being homeless because it took me so long to figure this out permanently broke my brain.
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Mar 12, 2019 21:54
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Siljmonster posted:taco bell wants me to install an app to work lmao apply for the right to download an app to work 
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Mar 12, 2019 22:07
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MizPiz posted:What's worse is that I just know that even if I manage to find a job, it's going to fill me with nothing but indignation. Just pure contempt that I had to go through nearly a years worth of grovelling and rejection just to do some minimum wage bullshit that somehow makes me feel worse than being unemployed. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha kill me now lol laughing w/ you, extremely w/ you; not @ u
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Mar 12, 2019 22:08
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MizPiz posted:What's worse is that I just know that even if I manage to find a job, it's going to fill me with nothing but indignation. Just pure contempt that I had to go through nearly a years worth of grovelling and rejection just to do some minimum wage bullshit that somehow makes me feel worse than being unemployed. and then you get fired a month into it because you were sick for two days  guidoanselmi posted:hi pasadena goonfriend sadly I don't live there anymore, it was a really pretty area (because of all the old money and antique shops)
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Mar 12, 2019 22:25
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Koishi Komeiji posted:I wish this wasn't good advice but it is. I was unemployed for longer than I care to say and what finally pulled me out of it was just completely loving lying like I never did before in my life. I was already embellishing a little bit here and there but when I went full sociopath things got way better. I still didn't get a job right away but all of a sudden I was getting called into interviews at least once a week. quote:LADY BRITOMART. Barbara, I positively forbid you to listen to your father's abominable wickedness. And you, Adolphus, ought to know better than to go about saying that wrong things are true. What does it matter whether they are true if they are wrong?
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Mar 12, 2019 22:31
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my favorite job hunting memory is when I appllied for a job at a company that does consulting for big energy efficiency renovations at commercial and industrial buildings and the like the application process had a whole lot of bullshit in it, like timed aptitude tests in maths language and logic, and psychology and motivation questionnaires I made sure that I focused on being a careful and dilligent problem solver when answering those, gotta do thorough work on project like those right? their stated reason for rejecting me was: "we think that you're too analytical to do quick and left-handed work when needed" would've been funnier if they'd just said you're too ugly and possibly autistic but either way I sure played myself
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Mar 12, 2019 22:56
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What do I do if I don't even have the self esteem left to send my resume full of lies out anymore
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Mar 12, 2019 23:59
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i have no skills i do nt even know what to lie about on resumee
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Mar 13, 2019 00:00
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SQL and python
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Mar 13, 2019 00:02
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i say swears online posted:SQL and python ive never touched a compute rin my life
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Mar 13, 2019 00:03
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Poniard posted:ive never touched a compute rin my life look we can be honest itt but let's practice our interview skills here. "yes I have absolutely touched a computer"
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Mar 13, 2019 00:07
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i say swears online posted:look we can be honest itt but let's practice our interview skills here. Posting on the Something Awful Comedy Forums does not count, and putting it on your resume will actively harm your chances of surviving in the capitalist job market.
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Mar 13, 2019 00:10
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i say swears online posted:What do I do if I don't even have the self esteem left to send my resume full of lies out anymore Lie to yourself that you do have the self esteem. Poniard posted:i have no skills i do nt even know what to lie about on resumee Lie about everything.
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Mar 13, 2019 00:34
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First time posting in central spam, long time lurker. This thread speaks to me on a deep personal level. I loving hate applying online for poo poo. Yeah I know indeed or whoever mostly populates the forms, but I still have to change around all the lies to fit the particular job posting. I spent at least a couple of hours on a specifically tailored resume and cover letter last week and I probably won't hear back. The dream of having a savings account or health insurance eludes me once more. E: but basically what other people have said. It blows that most HRs won't even copy and paste you a rejection letter. Like drat, I'm stranded on a deserted island of student debt and terrible work sending out my resume in bottles. Poor Outlook has issued a correction as of 01:15 on Mar 13, 2019 |
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Mar 13, 2019 00:59
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Spending hours(or more than 5 minutes really) on a single application is a massive waste of time. Yeah they say you're supposed to tailor your poo poo, but it'll just get run through algorithms and even if you get through those you're at the mercy of some HR gently caress's current mood. Spray and pray is the only reasonable approach unless you're applying for a highly specialized field.
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Mar 13, 2019 01:11
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bloom posted:Spending hours(or more than 5 minutes really) on a single application is a massive waste of time. Yeah they say you're supposed to tailor your poo poo, but it'll just get run through algorithms and even if you get through those you're at the mercy of some HR gently caress's current mood. Spray and pray is the only reasonable approach unless you're applying for a highly specialized field. You're probably right, but this particular posting actually wanted skills my thus useless degree taught me and is tangentially related to what I'm doing now. I haven't ran into that too often and felt the need to break from my template and emphasize stuff. I won't not get that job because my grammar is bad
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Mar 13, 2019 01:24
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