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My fellow Americans, I'm glad to see y'all here tonight. I can see, a lot of you decided that tonight, of all nights, was the perfect time to visit Applebee's, which is great. And I gotta say, even after all this time, there's nothing I like better, than seeing an entire room full of families, workers, small business owners, mothers, fathers, children - all gathered together, in the pursuit of America's most genial pastime, which is the sharing of food and fellowship. [Hold for applause, looking left and right with a contented hint of a proud smirk.] But your visit tonight, to this Applebee's, has not come without challenges of its own. Even now, empty seats are scarce, and tables, scarcer. I look out at the Americans before me, and I see your hunger, for change. For discount appys; for one dollar Long Island Iced Teas. I wouldn't mind one myself right now.[Hold for chuckles, grin broadly with teeth, point at one very animated guy, then give a thumbs up.] Nevertheless, [seriously] we people, here tonight, the proud people of Applebees, we know that there is a way forward. We know that however this feels like a period of waiting, that there is a destiny, a destiny that awaits all of us. Because seats vacate; tables empty, are bussed, and are wiped down. We know this, because we have faith in the American people, our brothers and sisters employed by this Applebees, be they Christians, Jews, Muslims, indeed all the world's faiths, or those who have not chosen a system of faith; be they black or white, asian, indigenous, latino, all are dedicated, to the singular duty, of ensuring that no American, indeed, no citizen of the world, here tonight, at the Applebees on Grand Avenue, in Chicago, in the great state of Illinois [hold for applause; give a quiet "I hear you brother" and a non-threatening black power fist to an elderly gentleman wearing a white suit and panama hat sitting on a padded bench in the back shouting "PREACH IT!"]... In the great state of Illinois [getting back on track], no one shall go hungry. No group shall remain unseated. No family, shall go home tonight, without sharing in the food and fellowship, Applebees has to offer. [Hold for applause; give look of stern resolve.] However long this time of waiting may be, we know that it is only for a time. For some, it has been a time of waiting, longer than is has been for others. I look into the faces, of my fellow Americans, and I see some of the same faces I saw walking through those doors, twenty minutes ago. I see the pain, the anguish, in your eyes and faces. And I am humbled, that I have been chosen, to see you through this time of waiting. And whatever shall happen, on this night, know that - what? Oh, thanks, Carol. Uh, Johanssen? Johnanssen, group of four[waits for a hand to go up] Yeah, we have a table for you now. |
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Feb 21, 2019 19:28
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Socks4Hands posted:police sketch artist: "please describe the suspect" Police Sketch Artist: Why don't you just go ahead and... describe that nasty fella that stole your wallet. Interviewee: Uh... Caucasian... maybe latino, I dunno... black hair, kinda stocky build. He had a bit of stubble. Police Sketch Artist: Wonderful. So what I've done here is I've prepared my canvas with... just some clear jesso... and I'm gonna start by mixing a little bit of our Cerulean blue - just a thin, thin line of it, no need to overdo it - with our Titanium hwhite. Interviewee: Uh... okay? Police Sketch Artist: ...and that's going to give us these nice... fluffy clouds. See how the little hint of Cerulean blue... it just brings those clouds alive. Beautiful. Interviewee: Yeah, that's... that's real nice, but like... all my credit cards and my license and like a hundred and twenty bucks- Police Sketch Artist: ...and if too much of the Cerulean blue peeks out from your nice fluffy clouds, remember this is wet on wet, you can just take... your number two fan brush, just a dry one... and just... give a little blend with some horizontal strokes. Isn't that nice. Interviewee: I literally don't care about the clouds man, I just want my wallet- Police Sketch Artist: So now, we're gonna clean off our fan brush, and to do that, we're just gonna dip it into our paint thinner... and this is my favourite part... we're just gonna... hm hm! [Chuckling] Beat the devil out of it. [Whacks brush rapidly against easel frame] Interviewee: Okay, I'm just gonna go fill out the rest of the report, I'll swing by later, good luck with whatever the gently caress you're doing Police Sketch Artist: No worries. God bless, my friend. |
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Feb 25, 2019 01:26
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