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The Duchess Smackarse
May 8, 2012

by Lowtax
Of getting caught cheating!!

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Edgar
Sep 9, 2005

Oh my heck!
Oh heavens!
Oh my lord!
OH Sweet meats!
Wedge Regret
A billionaire getting $60 dollar handjobs.

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.
get 'im

Dr. Gojo Shioji
Apr 22, 2004

Sounds like getting your balls deflated is the real Patriots tradition.

Regalingualius
Jan 7, 2012

We gazed into the eyes of madness... And all we found was horny.




Eat the rich.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
an asian massage parlor in a strip mall. thats a man who believes in tradition

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
Hope Tom Brady got caught too

Total Party Kill
Aug 25, 2005

he was just looking for the future mrs kraft

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


prostitution was legal in Rhode Island for like 12 years in the 90s because the state legislature phrased the law wrong or something. Maybe he just went senile and got confused about the year?

WatermelonGun
May 7, 2009
kill all team owners

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

prostitution was legal in Rhode Island for like 12 years in the 90s because the state legislature phrased the law wrong or something. Maybe he just went senile and got confused about the year?

And the state he was in?
(the Patriots are based in Massachusetts and this crime happened in Florida)

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.

Gaunab posted:

Hope Tom Brady got caught too

Too busy kissing son.

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


Big Beef City posted:

And the state he was in?
(the Patriots are based in Massachusetts and this crime happened in Florida)

They are gthe New England Patriots and frankly its disrespectful of the Florida police to not allow them to practice their traditional culture

Cough Drop The Beat
Jan 22, 2012

by Lowtax
The funniest part is this dude's an absurdly wealthy billionaire in his late 70s and somehow thought he wouldn't get caught while having his goddamn chauffeur drive him to sketchy rear end "massage parlors". Unbelievable... except it's not because reality is satire itself.

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
maybe his back was just really hurting

Trast
Oct 20, 2010

Three games, thousands of playthroughs. 90% of the players don't know I exist. Still a redhead saving the galaxy with a [Right Hook].

:edi:

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

The funniest part is this dude's an absurdly wealthy billionaire in his late 70s and somehow thought he wouldn't get caught while having his goddamn chauffeur drive him to sketchy rear end "massage parlors". Unbelievable... except it's not because reality is satire itself.

A sketchy massage parlor already under investigation for human sex trafficking. It's going to cost him a lot to make this go away.

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k
I say, I'm in the mood for some regular tomfoolery tonight. Chauffeur, let's journey out to a den of immorality, and really have ourselves a good tumble.

Excuse me madam, but I'd like you to slap my balls around for a hundred dollars. Yes, I'll wait.

Non Poster
Jan 26, 2019

by FactsAreUseless

Cough Drop The Beat
Jan 22, 2012

by Lowtax
It's really bizarre and strange because if you're Robert loving Kraft worth like 6 billion dollars then you can walk into literally anywhere in the world and have your pick of women who want to do whatever strange sex stuff with you because you wield more power, money, and influence than many small countries and then you don't have to commit felonies while exploiting women who are probably held against their will to give you handjobs. I just don't get it.

a peck of pickled peckers
Aug 3, 2014

I am your Redeemer! It is by my hand that you arise from the ashes of this world!

Well families are always rising and falling in America, am I right?

sudonim
Oct 6, 2005

Shinjobi posted:

I say, I'm in the mood for some regular tomfoolery tonight. Chauffeur, let's journey out to a den of immorality, and really have ourselves a good tumble.

Excuse me madam, but I'd like you to slap my balls around for a hundred dollars. Yes, I'll wait.

:monocle:

Philthy
Jan 28, 2003

Pillbug

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

It's really bizarre and strange because if you're Robert loving Kraft worth like 6 billion dollars then you can walk into literally anywhere in the world and have your pick of women who want to do whatever strange sex stuff with you because you wield more power, money, and influence than many small countries and then you don't have to commit felonies while exploiting women who are probably held against their will to give you handjobs. I just don't get it.

Not sure why he just doesn't have a dozen super models that live with him like any other sex crazed billionaire.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Mozi posted:

maybe his back was just really hurting

Well, multiple news outlets are reporting there are 'several' tapes of his encounters there, so hopefully some experts can analyze his treatment at this facility and hopefully help him going forward!

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
poor guy :( best wishes for a speedy recovery Mr Kraft!

Benny the Snake
Apr 11, 2012

GUM CHEWING INTENSIFIES
https://twitter.com/sportsrapport/status/1099005747940216833?s=19

Harry
Jun 13, 2003

I do solemnly swear that in the year 2015 I will theorycraft my wallet as well as my WoW
Doing what it takes to give the Patriots that sense of being an underdog next year.

red sampson
Oct 7, 2018

by FactsAreUseless
every superbowl they send a fbi, atf, dea, and cia task force, because some rich guy with a $300000 box seat just needs a young underage girl sucking his dilz why men in body armor scramble for an egg shaped ball.

Demon Of The Fall
May 1, 2004

Nap Ghost
copy of the police report

https://ewscripps.brightspotcdn.com/74/98/64c708b942ac9a24ed0e40f57db0/hua-pc.pdf

Luckyellow
Sep 25, 2007

Pillbug

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

It's really bizarre and strange because if you're Robert loving Kraft worth like 6 billion dollars then you can walk into literally anywhere in the world and have your pick of women who want to do whatever strange sex stuff with you because you wield more power, money, and influence than many small countries and then you don't have to commit felonies while exploiting women who are probably held against their will to give you handjobs. I just don't get it.

Because all those super models and top paid escorts and so forth have some protections.

Would anybody cares if a poor prostitute "disappears"?

red sampson
Oct 7, 2018

by FactsAreUseless

Luckyellow posted:

Because all those super models and top paid escorts and so forth have some protections.

Would anybody cares if a poor prostitute "disappears"?

it's how steve jobs good some new kidneys, but look how that worked out

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost




:hmmyes:

Dirt McGuirk
Oct 21, 2010

brave

&

strong
rubthingawful dot com

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013


"Honestly officer I'm visually impaired, I thought joining rubmaps.com meant something else entirely"

Bananaquiter
Aug 20, 2008

Ron's not here.


I feel like handjob parlor might be one of those places where you would want to use a fake name and pay cash.

snack eater
Aug 25, 2018

by FactsAreUseless

Edgar posted:

A billionaire getting $60 dollar handjobs.


this is how rich people become and stay rich. they don't spend beyond their means

poor people are poor because they waste their welfare on steak and lobster and escorts

down n out
Sep 16, 2008

Nap Ghost
If the $59 happy ending special is good enough for a billionaire it’s good enough for me

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

snack eater posted:

this is how rich people become and stay rich. they don't spend beyond their means

poor people are poor because they waste their welfare on steak and lobster and escorts
He wanted to live like common people. He wanted to do whatever common people do. He wanted handjobs from common people.

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
i'm reading the police report and it's just gross and sad. blech

Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!

Please be Jeb
Please be Jeb
Please be Jeb
Please be Jeb
Please be Jeb
Please be Jeb

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Your Gay Uncle
Feb 16, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
if his wife divorces him over this his tinder name should be " Kraft Single"

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