pro tier sex haver moves from pro tier sex havers

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are you a pro tier sex haver????
	he'll yeah I love we'd
	a saxaphone honking real loud
	whoa WHOA THIS IS A FAMILY FRIENDLY FORUM
	lol butts and wweeners

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Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

New sex move, probably pro-tier: the Cold Hardee's

Buy your gf Hardee's and then drive around in the car until the fries are really cold then give them to her and tell her to microwave them

# ? Mar 18, 2019 05:02

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 13:15

Dick Bastardly: Muttley is SKYNET!!!

hamjobs posted:

New sex move, probably pro-tier: the Cold Hardee's

Buy your gf Hardee's and then drive around in the car until the fries are really cold then give them to her and tell her to microwave them

tried it, did the sex before the microwave was finished heating the fries. I rate it 10/10 pro tier sex move

Awesome winter sig by Symbolic, love it!

Lovely sig by the masterful Matoi Ryuko, thanks!

# ? Mar 18, 2019 19:52

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Dick Bastardly posted:

tried it, did the sex before the microwave was finished heating the fries. I rate it 10/10 pro tier sex move

Did you 666?????

# ? Mar 18, 2019 19:54

Bluedeanie: It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?

they say you used to be able to do the konami code w your dick when you do sex (with slapping each butt cheek for a and b and tweaking each nip for start and select) and it would let you do 99 (max value) full size skeet pumps when you cum but i wouldnt try it today, sinde ever since contra 2 came out if you try it you lose youe boner instantly

# ? Mar 18, 2019 19:57

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Bluedeanie posted:

they say you used to be able to do the konami code w your dick when you do sex (with slapping each butt cheek for a and b and tweaking each nip for start and select) and it would let you do 99 (max value) full size skeet pumps when you cum but i wouldnt try it today, sinde ever since contra 2 came out if you try it you lose youe boner instantly

woah this is good information thakn to u

# ? Mar 18, 2019 20:18

Dick Bastardly: Muttley is SKYNET!!!

hamjobs posted:

Did you 666?????

If by that you mean the devil's lettuce, then yes absolutely

Awesome winter sig by Symbolic, love it!

Lovely sig by the masterful Matoi Ryuko, thanks!

# ? Mar 19, 2019 00:14

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Dick Bastardly posted:

If by that you mean the devil's lettuce, then yes absolutely

He'll yeah brother

# ? Mar 19, 2019 02:37

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

put a pinch of sage in your vagina and all night long a spicy scent is your reward

# ? Mar 19, 2019 04:45

The Yellow Sign

Bluedeanie posted:

they say you used to be able to do the konami code w your dick when you do sex (with slapping each butt cheek for a and b and tweaking each nip for start and select) and it would let you do 99 (max value) full size skeet pumps when you cum but i wouldnt try it today, sinde ever since contra 2 came out if you try it you lose youe boner instantly

I learned this from experience unfortunately.
My wife and her boyfriend were doing the dirty harry and my wife's boyfriend was about to conclude when he tried to use the konam kode. That was the big mistake because, as you mentioned, his dinky doo became the flaccid doo and he began peeing on her.
But he ended up getting ice cream for us an an apology so it's cool.

# ? Mar 19, 2019 05:09

FutonForensic

sucking. dick from the back is DEAD. all the heroes are eating rear end from the front

# ? Mar 19, 2019 05:11

Goons Are Gifts

FutonForensic posted:

sucking. dick from the back is DEAD. all the heroes are eating rear end from the front

Tried it last night, can confirm to now feel like a hero.

# ? Mar 19, 2019 11:22

blaise rascal: "Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Pearl...."

my sex alarm goes off at 5am. I roll over and stare bleary eyed at the phone, taking a full minute to realize that I should turn off the alarm.

it sucks, but I knew what I was signing up for.

already I smile thinking about this evening when I�ll be finished with sex and ready to punch the time clock & do some motherfucking paperwork

ty vanisher, ty khanstant

# ? Mar 19, 2019 16:23

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

blaise rascal posted:

my sex alarm goes off at 5am. I roll over and stare bleary eyed at the phone, taking a full minute to realize that I should turn off the alarm.

it sucks, but I knew what I was signing up for.

already I smile thinking about this evening when I�ll be finished with sex and ready to punch the time clock & do some motherfucking paperwork

# ? Mar 19, 2019 17:47

Goons Are Gifts

blaise rascal posted:

my sex alarm goes off at 5am. I roll over and stare bleary eyed at the phone, taking a full minute to realize that I should turn off the alarm.

it sucks, but I knew what I was signing up for.

already I smile thinking about this evening when I’ll be finished with sex and ready to punch the time clock & do some motherfucking paperwork

# ? Mar 19, 2019 17:59

Papa Was A Video Toaster

sometime is put the V in the P
don't @ me. the professional sex haver

# ? Mar 19, 2019 18:56

Jaded Burnout

blaise rascal posted:

my sex alarm goes off at 5am. I roll over and stare bleary eyed at the phone, taking a full minute to realize that I should turn off the alarm.

it sucks, but I knew what I was signing up for.

already I smile thinking about this evening when I�ll be finished with sex and ready to punch the time clock & do some motherfucking paperwork

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. ITS CHRONICLES OF BIG DICK AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, BIG DICK. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME PUSSY OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED THE GALAXYS MOST DANGEROUS WOMEN. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING CLEAN UP EVERY MORNIng

# ? Mar 19, 2019 19:41

Goons Are Gifts

Jaded Burnout posted:

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. ITS CHRONICLES OF BIG DICK AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, BIG DICK. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME PUSSY OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED THE GALAXYS MOST DANGEROUS WOMEN. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING CLEAN UP EVERY MORNIng

# ? Mar 19, 2019 21:28

Dick Bastardly: Muttley is SKYNET!!!

blaise rascal posted:

my sex alarm goes off at 5am. I roll over and stare bleary eyed at the phone, taking a full minute to realize that I should turn off the alarm.

it sucks, but I knew what I was signing up for.

already I smile thinking about this evening when I�ll be finished with sex and ready to punch the time clock & do some motherfucking paperwork

Jaded Burnout posted:

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. ITS CHRONICLES OF BIG DICK AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, BIG DICK. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME PUSSY OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED THE GALAXYS MOST DANGEROUS WOMEN. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING CLEAN UP EVERY MORNIng

Awesome winter sig by Symbolic, love it!

Lovely sig by the masterful Matoi Ryuko, thanks!

# ? Mar 19, 2019 22:02

google THIS

Jaded Burnout posted:

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. ITS CHRONICLES OF BIG DICK AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, BIG DICK. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME PUSSY OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED THE GALAXYS MOST DANGEROUS WOMEN. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING CLEAN UP EVERY MORNIng

# ? Mar 20, 2019 03:54

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Ok ok I got it I got a new move

It really works too

Pop a habanero in your mouth and give your dude a beej

It'll be the most memorable evening of his life I promise

# ? Mar 20, 2019 05:10

Papa Was A Video Toaster

hamjobs posted:

Ok ok I got it I got a new move

It really works too

Pop a habanero in your mouth and give your dude a beej

It'll be the most memorable evening of his life I promise

that's hot

# ? Mar 20, 2019 05:39

Goons Are Gifts

TVsVeryOwn posted:

that's hot

# ? Mar 20, 2019 11:54

google THIS

hamjobs posted:

Ok ok I got it I got a new move

It really works too

Pop a habanero in your mouth and give your dude a beej

It'll be the most memorable evening of his life I promise

If you keep two graham crackers and a chocolate bar at the ready this move is called the S'more.

# ? Mar 20, 2019 12:29

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

google THIS posted:

If you keep two graham crackers and a chocolate bar at the ready this move is called the S'more.

if you shove the pepper up someone's b-hole the move is called the ring of fire, i read about it in cosmo

seems like a good idea, like all cosmo sex tips

# ? Mar 20, 2019 12:31