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Call out your partner's last name shortly before being done so prove that yes, you indeed know it for certain. Add the birth date for additional success.
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Mar 16, 2019 20:22
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Nosfereefer posted:*taking notes furiously* Don't be considered soup while sex, also don't lose parts of you inside other people, which can be challenging due to gravity's effect on soup.
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Mar 16, 2019 23:57
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hamjobs posted:safe sex is all about keeping your soup outta the breadbowl so you gotta use protection: Yes.
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Mar 17, 2019 12:41
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In recent sexual adventures I learned an important thing, so let's teach the youth about it as they can learn from us: Clothes may appear appealing during sex, but at least the lower part of clothes should be removed in the sexual process to prevent sexual overflow. Next time my partner and me will try out going a step further and even open the shoes, will report back once that happened!
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Mar 17, 2019 12:44
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FutonForensic posted:sucking. dick from the back is DEAD. all the heroes are eating rear end from the front Tried it last night, can confirm to now feel like a hero.
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Mar 19, 2019 11:22
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blaise rascal posted:my sex alarm goes off at 5am. I roll over and stare bleary eyed at the phone, taking a full minute to realize that I should turn off the alarm.
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Mar 19, 2019 17:59
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Jaded Burnout posted:EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. ITS CHRONICLES OF BIG DICK AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, BIG DICK. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME PUSSY OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED THE GALAXYS MOST DANGEROUS WOMEN. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING CLEAN UP EVERY MORNIng
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Mar 19, 2019 21:28
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TVsVeryOwn posted:that's hot
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Mar 20, 2019 11:54
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Jaded Burnout posted:I failed Anal 2 and had to take a catch up course in HJs Yeah, it's hard to in there, but once you made it you can relax and see how far you can go.
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Mar 20, 2019 16:36
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Splatmaster posted:You will be surprised and amused by the amount of things in your kitchen that double as a sex toy.
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Mar 21, 2019 12:43
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I have a very  face while inserting knifes into a knife block. This turns into a whole different level when done with forks.
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Mar 22, 2019 01:10
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google THIS posted:Waiting until mom and dad go to bed before sneaking downstairs to watch Food Network. Ah drat, just a little pinch of creme fraiche right on top 
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Mar 23, 2019 15:02
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Jaded Burnout posted:I meant to google bepis but I accidentally hit "print" on the context menu Just spent four minutes laughing about this, thank you jb
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Mar 24, 2019 23:58
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Scientific studies prove that if you unleash an ungodly demonic scream straight from hell the moment you enter the sex having part of your evening, it increases the likelihood of sex being amazing by 65%, but only if the scream lasts longer than 84 seconds. As Hamjobs can probably confirm, goats do this regularly for exactly this reason!!
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Mar 25, 2019 13:27
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Mar 25, 2019 14:44
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| # ¿ May 15, 2024 10:32 |
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hamjobs posted:Also if you eat a cashew and a pistachio at the same time it just tastes like cashew because cashews are too strong. Can confirm that, had this situation without a shower an hour ago but I was too embarrassed to mention it. Also I enjoyed it, so. Pro Tier sex tip: if something is weird but also amazing, don't mention it until the amazing part is over. This also goes for the common situation that you partner's head hair turns into a mustache because you are just too manly.
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Mar 25, 2019 18:44
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