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JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
They shouldn't have had a kid in Star Wars at all. Throw out all the stuff from Episode One and just start the trilogy with Episode 2's story and just change it to have this be the first time Anakin and Padme meet one another.

It's his first time meeting a girl IRL who isn't an asexual Jedi and everything she's doing is just making him feel super uncomfortable.

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JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
I can't help but wonder how much different things might be had Disney announced a delay of release from Summer 2019 to Summer 2020, instead of Winter 2019.

At least they would have possibly given them more time to not only work on the film so it wasn't so rushed and messy, but they'd be able to see the audience reception of The Mandolorian during that time, which could have given them some new thoughts on the film.

The shutdowns would have maybe given them the additional excuse to hold back the film another year or two until theaters were clearly starting to reopen to larger audiences, again, also giving them time to reevaluate Episode 9's story and do eventual reshoots.

JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
I suppose another problem, too, is that it feels that after TLJ they wrote themselves into a lot of corners and coming up with any conclusion to that overall story that would satisfy a large portion of their audiences was always going to be difficult.

You come out of Episode 8 and Disney wants you to pen the final film for not only the trilogy, but the saga? How the hell do you come up with anything? Even the couple of unmade scripts I've been hearing about didn't feel that good. The only aspect of one of them that I kind of did like was the "First Order undesirables have secret knowledge of how to bring them down" and Finn's arc turning Stormtroopers against the First Order. I don't know if it'd be a better film than what we got, but at least it gives Finn's storyline something more.

JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
Episode 9 should have been Kylo as a benevolent dictator who reformed the First Order.

Rey successfully kills Kylo and is taken into custody.

Rey is shot by a clone of Han Solo (Haan Solo) outside of the detainment center. The death of Kylo allows Hux to take over the First Order and prolong the war with the Republic.

That's just the first 10 minutes of the film. The rest is a courtroom drama about a conspiracy that Rey wasn't the lone blasterwoman.

Star Wars: Jedi Fragged Kylo.

JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!

smellmycheese posted:

What’s really funny is that what they had to do was incredibly simple. Get the old gang back together for one last rip roaring adventure, introduce the new kids along the way, and hand over the torch in a dignified manner. It was that loving simple and they hosed it up in every imaginable way.

I'm going to say something very unpopular here and not an attack on anyone.

I really didn't need the OT cast coming back for one last adventure, and the more I think about it, the less I want that now that time has passed. It was frustrating in a lot of ways when the sequels started to come out and I was voicing how much I disliked TLJ and TROS, the go-to argument against me was, "Oh, well, so you wanted the original cast back to be the stars of the movies..."

God, no, not at all. They've had their adventure, they don't need to be on another. I don't need all of them together again. Should they be there? Sure, to some extent. But not in the heart of the action or passing the torch. Granted, though, that's not a satisfying thing for audiences who want to have them back. Downplaying or not having them around is going to be a source of resentment.

The other problem would be if you have them all together for one last adventure, you know what you're going to get? Unless you killed them all off as loving hero legends at the same time to save the world?

You're going to have people going, "Well, you know, Luke, Leia, and Han still can carry an action movie and I don't like these new characters. Now that they've come back for ONE adventure, why don't we have them all back on a few more where they don't have to share screen time with these new characters."

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