We call him "Uncle Jerk" because he never helps us masturbate the horse | |
# ? Apr 20, 2019 02:46 |
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# ? May 3, 2024 02:54 |
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keep accidentally milking cows instead
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# ? Apr 20, 2019 02:48 |
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there's no jerking in horse-ball!
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# ? Apr 20, 2019 03:02 |
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did he need help getting on the horse as well? |
# ? Apr 20, 2019 03:32 |
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then he said he had to help his uncle jack get off on a horse! get it?
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# ? Apr 20, 2019 03:33 |
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beginning to think this might not really be a family tradition because everyone is giggling uncontrollably as they watch |
# ? Apr 20, 2019 03:37 |
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Gonna have to risk: green help uncle jack risk: yellow get off risk: red of the horse risk: green after he finishes jerking it off risk: flashing red
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# ? Apr 20, 2019 03:39 |
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I'm not sure how you can't click on a thread with this title, just saying.
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# ? Apr 20, 2019 13:10 |
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my name is Jack and every summer i watch my siblings overbearingly try to get their children into the equestrian hobby. i know the part i must play. |
# ? Apr 20, 2019 13:32 |
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# ? Apr 20, 2019 13:33 |
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alnilam posted:my name is Jack and every summer i watch my siblings overbearingly try to get their children into the equestrian hobby. i know the part i must play. The “equestrian hobby” is what we all call uncle jed’s jack off hut |
# ? Apr 20, 2019 13:59 |
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Saturday night and he's still hangin' around Tired of living in your one horse town You'd like to gently caress a little hole in the ground For awhile... So you go to your uncle, he's wearing your jeans Sitting on your horse, you know what that means. It's like some pornographic magazine And you smile Uncle Jerk is on your horse tonight You're pretty sure your horse is cryin' Uncle Jerk gets off your horse tonight Holy loving poo poo, that horse is smiling! Oh yeah, ... Your auntie's gone out, she's on a date You were gonna sit at home and masturbate Your uncle is gonna be done soon, but you just can't wait So you call... "911, what is your emergency?" "I just don't like the way he's staring at me and my horse" Ah, but still your fingers gonna pick your rear end After all... So you decide to make a video You get your cell phone and record it all You think about instagramming it but What for? So you got everything, ah, but nothing's cool They just found your horse's corpse in the swimming pool And you guess you won't be going back to school Anymore. So you play your albums, and you smoke your pot And you meet your uncle in the parking lot Your heart is aching for the horse you haven't got Anymore. And if you can't understand why your horse is so dead Why you've got to keep your uncle in your barn instead He has a 21 inch penis that sleeps in its own bed And that's too long https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
# ? Apr 20, 2019 14:02 |
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:there's no jerking in horse-ball! There's no rule that says... oh wait, my mistake - there is most certainly a rule against this, laws in fact too. Awww shoot. |
# ? Apr 20, 2019 14:51 |
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Splatmaster posted:Saturday night and he's still hangin' around |
# ? Apr 20, 2019 14:51 |
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Splatmaster posted:Saturday night and he's still hangin' around |
# ? Apr 20, 2019 16:19 |
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Splatmaster posted:Uncle Jerk gets off your horse tonight
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# ? Apr 20, 2019 16:41 |
Uncle jerk spends too much time on the balls | |
# ? Apr 20, 2019 16:44 |
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Putty posted:Uncle jerk spends too much time on the balls THERE'S NO JERKING IN HORSE-BALL! |
# ? Apr 20, 2019 17:12 |
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Stoner Sloth posted:There's no rule that says... oh wait, my mistake - there is most certainly a rule against this, laws in fact too. Awww shoot. lol
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# ? Apr 20, 2019 17:16 |
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Splatmaster posted:Saturday night and he's still hangin' around
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# ? Apr 20, 2019 18:03 |
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vanisher posted:Gonna have to |
# ? Apr 20, 2019 18:46 |
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vanisher posted:Gonna have to |
# ? Apr 20, 2019 21:48 |
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It's always amused me that in animal husbandry they call it "digital manipulation." |
# ? Apr 22, 2019 03:31 |
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google THIS posted:It's always amused me that in animal husbandry they call it "digital manipulation." They what now? |
# ? Apr 22, 2019 06:51 |
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This isn't the OP's first thread about horse sex |
# ? Apr 22, 2019 09:30 |
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FactsAreUseless posted:This isn't the OP's first thread about horse sex Not his first rodeo eh? |
# ? Apr 22, 2019 10:05 |
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FactsAreUseless posted:This isn't the OP's first thread about horse sex Woah woah woah wait right there champ, since when does jerking off your uncle on a horse constitute the definition of sex?
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# ? Apr 22, 2019 12:11 |
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At least we are not talking about eating a hot dog on a horse, because then this thread would probably be bannable
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# ? Apr 22, 2019 12:12 |
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Wait is this a sequel to the sex number thread? Oh god I fell into the honeypot, didn't I
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# ? Apr 22, 2019 12:13 |
FactsAreUseless posted:This isn't the OP's first thread about horse sex Masturbation isn't sex, smart guy |
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# ? Apr 22, 2019 12:24 |
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Uncle Jerk is on the horse again. Not sure I can sit through another intervention... |
# ? Apr 22, 2019 21:01 |
Hugh Malone posted:Uncle Jerk is on the horse again. We call him that because he jerks people off for drug money |
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# ? Apr 22, 2019 21:19 |
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# ? Apr 22, 2019 23:17 |
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# ? Apr 23, 2019 00:01 |
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# ? Apr 23, 2019 00:02 |
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Helping my uncle, Jerk Jack Wank Stroganoff, to legally change his name so people stop making jokes whenever he needs assistance dismounting from his horse, Wigginboner. |
# ? Apr 23, 2019 00:10 |
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cda posted:Masturbation isn't sex, smart guy Sure it is. My hand wife never let me down. |
# ? Apr 23, 2019 14:20 |
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helping a horse jerk off my uncle |
# ? Apr 23, 2019 15:27 |
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:They what now? When people need to collect semen from animals, for artificial insemination or to make Jon Arbuckle's favorite beverage, they sometimes do it by the most direct of methods. And that is the euphemism they use to refer to it. |
# ? Apr 23, 2019 15:28 |
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# ? May 3, 2024 02:54 |
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google THIS posted:When people need to collect semen from animals, for artificial insemination or to make Jon Arbuckle's favorite beverage, they sometimes do it by the most direct of methods. And that is the euphemism they use to refer to it. it's also a very fun pastime |
# ? Apr 23, 2019 15:31 |