Riding Game 2.0: None of us actually ride, we just bitch about bikes

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Cycle Asylum > Riding Game 2.0: None of us actually ride, we just bitch about bikes

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Vavrek: Mar 2, 2013; I like your style hombre, but this is no laughing matter. Assault on a police officer. Theft of police property. Illegal possession of a firearm. FIVE counts of attempted murder. That comes to... 29 dollars and 40 cents. Cash, cheque, or credit card?

Strife posted:

I was going to cheese this and post a photo of my own house (the architectural style is "colonial"), but I randomly found this place while aimlessly scootin around.

It was closed, so idea what they do here, maybe it's some kind of anglophile weeaboo (teaboo?) store, but I want to check back at a time when they're open just to find out wtf.

Next: Your bike with an incredibly niche business, bonus if you have no idea how they've remained open either because of their focus or locale.

As an example, there's a store in Weymouth Landing, a heavily gentrified and upscale area of extremely prime real estate, that exclusively sells chairs. I've never even seen anyone go in there. There's a place in Mattapan that just sells wigs; iirc it's called WIGS4LESS. I don't know what these places could be except money laundering fronts for organized crime.

I would just like to highlight and compliment you for the term teaboo. It is fantastic.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 00:44

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# ? May 3, 2024 09:01

bizwank: Oct 4, 2002

Strife posted:

Next: Your bike with an incredibly niche business, bonus if you have no idea how they've remained open either because of their focus or locale.

I have an incredibly niche business but I'm not about to dox myself that hard

# ? Jul 11, 2022 06:22

Finger Prince: Jan 5, 2007

bizwank posted:

I have an incredibly niche business but I'm not about to dox myself that hard

So youuuuure the guy!
Say how do you make 'em so realistic looking?

# ? Jul 11, 2022 06:29

bizwank: Oct 4, 2002

We lifecast real dog poop :ssh:

# ? Jul 11, 2022 06:34

Beve Stuscemi: Jun 6, 2001

Vavrek posted:

I would just like to highlight and compliment you for the term teaboo. It is fantastic.

It got a irl lol out of me

# ? Jul 11, 2022 11:15

Steakandchips: Apr 30, 2009

Strife posted:

I was going to cheese this and post a photo of my own house (the architectural style is "colonial"), but I randomly found this place while aimlessly scootin around.

It was closed, so idea what they do here, maybe it's some kind of anglophile weeaboo (teaboo?) store, but I want to check back at a time when they're open just to find out wtf.

Next: Your bike with an incredibly niche business, bonus if you have no idea how they've remained open either because of their focus or locale.

As an example, there's a store in Weymouth Landing, a heavily gentrified and upscale area of extremely prime real estate, that exclusively sells chairs. I've never even seen anyone go in there. There's a place in Mattapan that just sells wigs; iirc it's called WIGS4LESS. I don't know what these places could be except money laundering fronts for organized crime.

Nice juxtaposition of the most :911:

bike possible outside said shop!

So, anyway, mate, you have got to go in there and take loads of pictures.

I want to know:

1. How much actual British stuff for sale is there, and at what ridiculous mark up.
2. How much fake British stuff for sale is there, and at what ludicrous price. And by fake I mean things Americans concocted up as being British, to cater to American Teaboos (roflmao, great term!).
3. How over the top British it is; is the shopkeeper in a waistcoat, is there freshly brewed loose-leaf tea for the customers to partake in as they peruse the merchandise?

# ? Jul 11, 2022 11:26

Finger Prince: Jan 5, 2007

Steakandchips posted:

Nice juxtaposition of the most bike possible outside said shop!

So, anyway, mate, you have got to go in there and take loads of pictures.

I want to know:

1. How much actual British stuff for sale is there, and at what ridiculous mark up.
2. How much fake British stuff for sale is there, and at what ludicrous price. And by fake I mean things Americans concocted up as being British, to cater to American Teaboos (roflmao, great term!).
3. How over the top British it is; is the shopkeeper in a waistcoat, is there freshly brewed loose-leaf tea for the customers to partake in as they peruse the merchandise?

It's all stuff nobody in Britain has eaten in 50 years (or whenever the owners emigrated), plus the requisite cans of mushy peas, gravy granules, one flavour of walker's crisps, and monster munch, and the rest of it is stuff you can find in the supermarket.
At least that's my experience with every British store I've ever been in in Canada.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 16:28

Steakandchips: Apr 30, 2009

Still intrigued and I'd love to see pictures!

But onto specifics:
Mushy peas are rubbish.
Gravy granules are useful.
Walkers crisps are crap.
Literally bought some Giant Monster Munch today! This one: https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/305957927

# ? Jul 11, 2022 16:58

T Zero: Sep 26, 2005; When the enemy is in range, so are you

To actually continue the game...

Strife posted:

It was closed, so idea what they do here, maybe it's some kind of anglophile weeaboo (teaboo?) store, but I want to check back at a time when they're open just to find out wtf.

Next: Your bike with an incredibly niche business, bonus if you have no idea how they've remained open either because of their focus or locale.

This is a local bookstore that only sells cookbooks. Somehow, it *opened* during the pandemic.

Next up: Let's see your bike next to an awe-inspiring living thing

# ? Jul 16, 2022 21:48

Dog Case: Oct 7, 2003; Heeelp meee... prevent wildfires

T Zero posted:

To actually continue the game...

This is a local bookstore that only sells cookbooks. Somehow, it *opened* during the pandemic.

Next up: Let's see your bike next to an awe-inspiring living thing

Here are a couple trees I ride past all the time

They're pretty tall.

I don't know how old they actually are, but they're significantly larger in diameter than this other nearby tree that fell recently that somebody conveniently marked with some dates.

Post your bike next to something really old that isn't a building or a rock or the literal earth or something. It can be made from rock I guess. Bonus points if it's still used for its' intended purpose.

# ? Jul 20, 2022 00:57

FBS: Apr 27, 2015; The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.

Dog Case posted:

Post your bike next to something really old that isn't a building or a rock or the literal earth or something. It can be made from rock I guess. Bonus points if it's still used for its' intended purpose.

They say the English think 100 miles is a long way, and Americans think 100 years is a long time.

Post your bike next to something that makes you feel nostalgic.

# ? Aug 18, 2022 02:41

epswing: Nov 4, 2003; Soiled Meat

FBS posted:

Post your bike next to something that makes you feel nostalgic.

Here�s an Irish pub my cover band used to play at, a lifetime ago. Nice to see they made it through the pandemic.

Post your bike next to another bike (or object) you want and/or enjoy, but have never owned.

epswing fucked around with this message at 03:49 on Oct 24, 2022

# ? Oct 22, 2022 20:30

Strife: Apr 20, 2001; What the hell are YOU?

epswing posted:

Here�s an Irish pub my cover band used to play at, a lifetime ago. Nice to see they made it through the pandemic.

Post your bike next to another bike want and/or enjoy, but have never owned.

I don't know his platform but I really hope BUTT wins.

# ? Oct 23, 2022 01:02

FBS: Apr 27, 2015; The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.

So did Butt win?

# ? Nov 12, 2022 08:23

epswing: Nov 4, 2003; Soiled Meat

# ? Nov 15, 2022 16:23

Strife: Apr 20, 2001; What the hell are YOU?

epswing posted:

Post your bike next to another bike (or object) you want and/or enjoy, but have never owned.

Look, don't judge me, but I really want a Super Cub. They just seem like so much fun.

It's summer now. Go get some icecream at your favorite icecream joint and take a photo of your bike there.

# ? Jun 6, 2023 18:03

Beve Stuscemi: Jun 6, 2001

Judgement free zone, the Super Cub is a Real Good Bike �️

# ? Jun 6, 2023 21:29

Slavvy: Dec 11, 2012

Strong contender for literally the best bike of all time really

# ? Jun 6, 2023 21:49

Shelvocke: Aug 6, 2013; Microwave Engraver

Unironically the bike I'd choose to circumnavigate the earth and would love one to commute in the city if I didn't already have the electric (might still get one)

# ? Jun 6, 2023 21:59

Midjack: Dec 24, 2007

Beve Stuscemi posted:

Judgement free zone, the Super Cub is a Real Good Bike �️

Only reason I didn't get one as a starter bike is I wanted to learn on a clutch.

# ? Jun 7, 2023 06:37

Slavvy: Dec 11, 2012

Midjack posted:

Only reason I didn't get one as a starter bike is I wanted to learn on a clutch.

Yeah that's called a grom

# ? Jun 7, 2023 06:45

Beve Stuscemi: Jun 6, 2001

Also a Real Good Bike�️ but maligned because of its fanbase.

# ? Jun 7, 2023 13:32

MSPain: Jul 14, 2006

Strife posted:

Look, don't judge me, but I really want a Super Cub. They just seem like so much fun.

I can't think of a less impeachable motor vehicle

# ? Jun 7, 2023 18:20

builds character: Jan 16, 2008; Keep at it.

MSPain posted:

I can't think of a less impeachable motor vehicle

1290 superduke.

# ? Jun 8, 2023 21:35

Strife: Apr 20, 2001; What the hell are YOU?

MSPain posted:

I can't think of a less impeachable motor vehicle

I also drive a Dodge Challenger and a Harley touring bike so I could probably use that level of acceptance tbh.

# ? Jun 9, 2023 00:47

Chickenbisket: Apr 27, 2006

Strife posted:

Look, don't judge me, but I really want a Super Cub. They just seem like so much fun.

It's summer now. Go get some icecream at your favorite icecream joint and take a photo of your bike there.

I'm also on the really want a Super Cub bandwagon, they look like the perfect thing for scooting around town.

It's in a busy part of town so this is the best I could do.

This town is also full of public art installations. Post your bike with your favorite piece of public art.

# ? Jun 10, 2023 23:39

Finger Prince: Jan 5, 2007

Chickenbisket posted:

I'm also on the really want a Super Cub bandwagon, they look like the perfect thing for scooting around town.

It's in a busy part of town so this is the best I could do.

This town is also full of public art installations. Post your bike with your favorite piece of public art.

I don't know as it's my favorite. I don't know as I have a favorite. But this one is famous!
The Fremont Troll in Seattle.

Let's try something a little easier. Post your bike by an orchard, or vineyard, or failing that, a bleak wasteland.

# ? Jul 28, 2023 01:29

Geekboy: Aug 21, 2005; Now that's what I call a geekMAN!

Finger Prince posted:

Let's try something a little easier. Post your bike by an orchard, or vineyard, or failing that, a bleak wasteland.

I like this one because Oregon lets you do all of those within a few hours.

# ? Jul 28, 2023 02:23

Beve Stuscemi: Jun 6, 2001

Does it count if it just looks like a wasteland?

This is my goldwing a few minutes ago at a scenic outlook overlooking the Mississippi. On the other shore is Minnesota

The weather is particularly crappy today, so it looks pretty gross, not how the Mississip usually looks

Since I�m about 300 miles into a 500 mile ride, post your bike far from home

How you interpret this is up to you

# ? Aug 13, 2023 19:12

Finger Prince: Jan 5, 2007

Beve Stuscemi posted:

Does it count if it just looks like a wasteland?

This is my goldwing a few minutes ago at a scenic outlook overlooking the Mississippi. On the other shore is Minnesota

The weather is particularly crappy today, so it looks pretty gross, not how the Mississip usually looks

Since I’m about 300 miles into a 500 mile ride, post your bike far from home

How you interpret this is up to you

I suspect you've never seen an actual wasteland, either natural or man-made.

# ? Aug 13, 2023 19:31

Slavvy: Dec 11, 2012

Beve Stuscemi posted:

Does it count if it just looks like a wasteland?

This is my goldwing a few minutes ago at a scenic outlook overlooking the Mississippi. On the other shore is Minnesota

The weather is particularly crappy today, so it looks pretty gross, not how the Mississip usually looks

Since I’m about 300 miles into a 500 mile ride, post your bike far from home

How you interpret this is up to you

This just looks like the Waikato writ large, by which I mean it looks really humid and kinda lovely and filled with houses that have an old bus rotting on the lawn. So yeah a wasteland but not in the literal sense.

# ? Aug 13, 2023 19:42

Toe Rag: Aug 29, 2005

Someone post their bike next to the Salton Sea.

# ? Aug 13, 2023 19:46

Finger Prince: Jan 5, 2007

Toe Rag posted:

Someone post their bike next to the Salton Sea.

Or a Walmart parking lot.

# ? Aug 13, 2023 20:15

Remy Marathe: Mar 15, 2007; _________===D ~ ~ _\____/

Beve Stuscemi posted:

it looks pretty gross, not how the Mississip usually looks

I grew up along it (Hastings), and had the pleasure of seeing from boats the stark line in the rivers where the clean St. Croix meets the mighty, muddy Mississippi. We used to swim in its algae-coated backwaters in Lake Rebecca, the blooms fueled in large part by miles of farmland draining to it. And it only gets worse as it moves south.

Full of life but a wasteland when compared to Wisconsin's waters, I think you have it on a technicality.

# ? Aug 13, 2023 22:27

Jazzzzz: May 16, 2002

Beve Stuscemi posted:

Does it count if it just looks like a wasteland?

This is my goldwing a few minutes ago at a scenic outlook overlooking the Mississippi. On the other shore is Minnesota

The weather is particularly crappy today, so it looks pretty gross, not how the Mississip usually looks

Since I�m about 300 miles into a 500 mile ride, post your bike far from home

How you interpret this is up to you

a spoiler and a chromed luggage rack on the trunk may be Peak Gold Wing :discourse:

# ? Aug 14, 2023 16:35

Beve Stuscemi: Jun 6, 2001

The spoiler cancels out the lift from the chrome rack, I think you�ll find it�s perfectly engineered for the autobahn :colbert:

# ? Aug 15, 2023 01:27

Jazzzzz: May 16, 2002

need to get some of those chromed plastic rotor covers for the front wheel, preferably with extra marker lights. really improves the aero

I know we're just making fun of stereotypes but I do wonder how the cruiser "chrome everything" mentality mutated into "chrome everything, but with amber lighting" when it infected 'wing owners

# ? Aug 15, 2023 18:55

Strife: Apr 20, 2001; What the hell are YOU?

Jazzzzz posted:

need to get some of those chromed plastic rotor covers for the front wheel, preferably with extra marker lights. really improves the aero

I know we're just making fun of stereotypes but I do wonder how the cruiser "chrome everything" mentality mutated into "chrome everything, but with amber lighting" when it infected 'wing owners

"Chrome is good" has long been the prevailing thought for Harley Davidson, until a few years ago when they decided "no wait actually gloss black is good." But, at odds with their ever-aging demographic, they also offer the touring bikes* with a chromed option for people that still carry that torch. I assume it'll just be all black everything in ten years.

*Only the touring bikes, for what should be fairly obvious reasons.

# ? Aug 15, 2023 19:13

Slavvy: Dec 11, 2012

Jazzzzz posted:

need to get some of those chromed plastic rotor covers for the front wheel, preferably with extra marker lights. really improves the aero

I know we're just making fun of stereotypes but I do wonder how the cruiser "chrome everything" mentality mutated into "chrome everything, but with amber lighting" when it infected 'wing owners

Imo they are actually separate phenomena resulting in convergent evolution.

Harley boomers love chrome, the logic is very simple: more shiny = better even if the chrome parts are totally useless.

Goldwing boomers love accessories and the logic is more accessories = better even if the accessories are totally useless. The accessories are just chrome cause that's the default old person aesthetic preference.

# ? Aug 15, 2023 19:34

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# ? May 3, 2024 09:01

Jazzzzz: May 16, 2002

if I understand you correctly, your theory is Goldwing boomers are the intersection of BMW/ADV farkle enthusiasts and Harley's shiny=good aesthetics

so, this semi truck but as a Volvo, not a Peterbilt

# ? Aug 15, 2023 19:50

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Cycle Asylum > Riding Game 2.0: None of us actually ride, we just bitch about bikes

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