Baby With A Gun

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FreshCutFries

n/t

# ? May 9, 2019 05:48

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 5, 2024 15:02

FactsAreUseless

Gun Baby 2: Undeveloped Motor Kills

# ? May 9, 2019 07:13

FactsAreUseless

[in Raffi voice] Baby's got a gun / Her dog day's just begun [soothing ukulele music]

# ? May 9, 2019 07:15

joke_explainer

Murdered by ruthless criminals, science had the technology to bring Officer Bib Googa back... as a baby. Half baby, half cop, all cop. Babycop.

# ? May 9, 2019 07:28

joke_explainer

Car skids to a halt outside of a armed robbery in process. The criminals peer at the child-proofed vehicle with sudden concern. "poo poo, IT'S BABYCOP!" They open fire on the vehicle.

Babycop lays in his inverted child safety seat, hands groping for the keys in the ignition and watching them dance around. His gun sits on his chest.

# ? May 9, 2019 07:30

joke_explainer

Sir, programming the directives was very difficult. He lacks language skills. Even object permanence. He is waking up less in the middle of the night, though.

# ? May 9, 2019 07:31

joke_explainer

Ladies and gentlemen, babycop. Thank you.

# ? May 9, 2019 07:31

redm

Mom: [holding a spoon w/ baby food] Here comes the airplane!

Baby: [raises pistol and pulls back hammer] Is this a game to you, madame?

_{sig by Manifisto}

# ? May 9, 2019 08:49

Android Blues

joke_explainer posted:

Murdered by ruthless criminals, science had the technology to bring Officer Bib Googa back... as a baby. Half baby, half cop, all cop. Babycop.

joke_explainer posted:

Car skids to a halt outside of a armed robbery in process. The criminals peer at the child-proofed vehicle with sudden concern. "poo poo, IT'S BABYCOP!" They open fire on the vehicle.

Babycop lays in his inverted child safety seat, hands groping for the keys in the ignition and watching them dance around. His gun sits on his chest.

joke_explainer posted:

Sir, programming the directives was very difficult. He lacks language skills. Even object permanence. He is waking up less in the middle of the night, though.

# ? May 9, 2019 11:28

Finger Prince

Royal baby with a gun

# ? May 9, 2019 12:51

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Police Chief: You've done it this time! I can't save your rear end, you're on your own. What were you thinking, shooting up the place like that? Internal affairs wants me to throw the book at you!

Baby Cop (clearly uncomfortable because he's teething): Da ba dah! Da buh dad-da! *cries*

Police Chief: I'm not your dad! There's no excuse! And I told you about chewing on your sidearm; it's against regulations...

Baby cop (still crying): Wah! WAHHH!

Police Chief: And wash yourself up! Someone did poopies in their diaper; you're out of control, and you're out of uniform!

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? May 9, 2019 14:48

Goons Are Gifts

Splatmaster posted:

Police Chief: You've done it this time! I can't save your rear end, you're on your own. What were you thinking, shooting up the place like that? Internal affairs wants me to throw the book at you!

Baby Cop (clearly uncomfortable because he's teething): Da ba dah! Da buh dad-da! *cries*

Police Chief: I'm not your dad! There's no excuse! And I told you about chewing on your sidearm; it's against regulations...

Baby cop (still crying): Wah! WAHHH!

Police Chief: And wash yourself up! Someone did poopies in their diaper; you're out of control, and you're out of uniform!

# ? May 9, 2019 14:54

alnilam

Splatmaster posted:

Police Chief: You've done it this time! I can't save your rear end, you're on your own. What were you thinking, shooting up the place like that? Internal affairs wants me to throw the book at you!

Baby Cop (clearly uncomfortable because he's teething): Da ba dah! Da buh dad-da! *cries*

Police Chief: I'm not your dad! There's no excuse! And I told you about chewing on your sidearm; it's against regulations...

Baby cop (still crying): Wah! WAHHH!

Police Chief: And wash yourself up! Someone did poopies in their diaper; you're out of control, and you're out of uniform!

# ? May 9, 2019 19:21

Rad-daddio

pop pop pop, watching preschoolers drop

# ? May 9, 2019 19:23

FreshCutFries

joke_explainer posted:

Ladies and gentlemen, babycop. Thank you.

lmao

# ? May 9, 2019 21:16

Amateur Saboteur: by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

*giant screen in front of live studio audience showing a diminutive infant at a targeting range. the neonate then proceeds to nail 7 of 10 targets arranged in front of him with a desert eagle magnum*

Man (celebrating ): Yeaah YEAH Maury, I TOLD you that ain't my baby

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? May 9, 2019 21:35

cda: by Hand Knit

joke_explainer posted:

Murdered by ruthless criminals, science had the technology to bring Officer Bib Googa back... as a baby. Half baby, half cop, all cop. Babycop.

# ? May 9, 2019 21:39

google THIS

Babycop plays with toy cars by leaving one perched right next to the track for hours at a time.

# ? May 9, 2019 21:52

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

All I'm saying is that ever since that baby got ahold of a gun, violent crime has dropped over 50%. Now I know it's irresponsible to let a baby play with a gun, but maybe we should stand back and just see how this plays out.

# ? May 9, 2019 22:46

sweet geek swag: Adjust lasers to FUN!

Oh, gently caress, it's Maggie Simpson. (Ducks as she shoots Mr. Burns again.)

# ? May 9, 2019 22:58

cda: by Hand Knit

All joking aside, if you give your baby a gun, a tragedy may occur, so please be careful when you do it.

# ? May 9, 2019 23:02

Manifisto

look, honey, when I said 'you should give our four-month-old daughter a loaded .357 magnum handgun with the safety in the off position' I did not mean for you to take me so literally. I was being metaphorical.

ty nesamdoom!

# ? May 10, 2019 00:21

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

�Is that your baby Daddy?�
�No, that�s my baby gunsmith.�

- - -

�Baby, it�s cold outside!�
�Thanks for the coat, now gimme your wallet and watch!�

- - -

�Congratulations! You are the parents of a 10 pound baby boy!�
�My God! Are you sure?�
�Yeah, that�s including the full clip weight and the holster.�

- - -

�What the hell? The kid�s got a gun! Where did it hide that thing in the womb?�
�He didn�t get it from MY side of the family! We�re Smith & Wesson people, that�s a Colt .45!�

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? May 10, 2019 00:39

alnilam

everyone talking about baby having a pistol, whatif baby has a shotgun, hunting rifle, even a minigun??? with a tri or bipod it's possible

_{ty manifisto}

# ? May 10, 2019 02:16

bird.

man in chair in interrogation room: "what is this, good cop, baby cop?"

good cop: "you're drat right it is. now you can talk to me, or you can talk to the baby that's teething on the handle of that pistol. i'll give you until the time it takes for him to gnaw on the trigger. Oh yeah, and he can't even speak english yet, so you make your choices, son."

# ? May 10, 2019 02:32

cda: by Hand Knit

alnilam posted:

everyone talking about baby having a pistol, whatif baby has a shotgun, hunting rifle, even a minigun??? with a tri or bipod it's possible

Check this out: a baby with two guns, dual-wielding John Woo style

# ? May 10, 2019 03:21

Stoner Sloth

cda posted:

Check this out: a baby with two guns, dual-wielding John Woo style

Woah.

sigs by the awesome Manifisto, Vanisher, City of Glompton, Pot Smoke Phoenix, Nut, Heather Papps,Prof Crocodile, knuthgrush, Ohtori Akio, Teapot, Saosyhant, Dumb Sex Parrot, w4ddl3d33, and nesamdoom!! - ty friends!