wife's boyfriend is coming over

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > wife's boyfriend is coming over

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Homo Simpson: by Smythe

Practicing acting cool before he gets here, so he doesnt think I'm pathetic.

# ? May 9, 2019 11:05

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# ? May 7, 2024 17:57

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

wax ur surfboard shirtless. works for me

spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

# ? May 9, 2019 14:18

cda: by Hand Knit

Meeting new people is difficult for me because of social anxiety, but it's even more difficult when the only topic I really know anything about - how I am the only one having sex with my wife - is off the table.

# ? May 9, 2019 14:30

Homo Simpson: by Smythe

cda posted:

Meeting new people is difficult for me because of social anxiety, but it's even more difficult when the only topic I really know anything about - how I am the only one having sex with my wife - is off the table.

lmao

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? May 9, 2019 15:08

Stoner Sloth

cda posted:

Meeting new people is difficult for me because of social anxiety, but it's even more difficult when the only topic I really know anything about - how I am the only one having sex with my wife - is off the table.

sigs by the awesome Manifisto, Vanisher, City of Glompton, Pot Smoke Phoenix, Nut, Heather Papps,Prof Crocodile, knuthgrush, Ohtori Akio, Teapot, Saosyhant, Dumb Sex Parrot, w4ddl3d33, and nesamdoom!! - ty friends!

# ? May 9, 2019 15:40

lmbo calrissian: i'm into fashion
men are my passion

cda posted:

Meeting new people is difficult for me because of social anxiety, but it's even more difficult when the only topic I really know anything about - how I am the only one having sex with my wife - is off the table.

# ? May 9, 2019 18:53

FutonForensic

we're all having a good time, sitting on the floor. suddenly chet comes in.

"wife's boyfriend comin'!"

we drop our gamecube controllers and scatter. pizza on paper plates and bottles of cheerwine go flying. I cower under the greasy pizza box, pretending I'm solid snake to feel brave. It's no use; my wife's boyfriend greets me immediately. "Hey Dillon, I just got my Hyundai Elantra waxed. I'm going to give your wife a ride over to Applebees, wanna come with?" I internally make the MGS guard alert sound

# ? May 9, 2019 19:18

cda: by Hand Knit

FutonForensic posted:

we're all having a good time, sitting on the floor. suddenly chet comes in.

"wife's boyfriend comin'!"

we drop our gamecube controllers and scatter. pizza on paper plates and bottles of cheerwine go flying. I cower under the greasy pizza box, pretending I'm solid snake to feel brave. It's no use; my wife's boyfriend greets me immediately. "Hey Dillon, I just got my Hyundai Elantra waxed. I'm going to give your wife a ride over to Applebees, wanna come with?" I internally make the MGS guard alert sound

ahahahaaa

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? May 9, 2019 19:54

google THIS

FutonForensic posted:

we're all having a good time, sitting on the floor. suddenly chet comes in.

"wife's boyfriend comin'!"

we drop our gamecube controllers and scatter. pizza on paper plates and bottles of cheerwine go flying. I cower under the greasy pizza box, pretending I'm solid snake to feel brave. It's no use; my wife's boyfriend greets me immediately. "Hey Dillon, I just got my Hyundai Elantra waxed. I'm going to give your wife a ride over to Applebees, wanna come with?" I internally make the MGS guard alert sound

# ? May 9, 2019 20:03

google THIS

We're having cake for dessert, but I don't understand why my wife insisted on writing "Have a nice cake" on top. I mean, isn't that kind of an obvious statement? She didn't even spell cake right.

# ? May 9, 2019 20:05

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

cda posted:

Meeting new people is difficult for me because of social anxiety, but it's even more difficult when the only topic I really know anything about - how I am the only one having sex with my wife - is off the table.

you should try it on the table sometime

# ? May 9, 2019 20:05

FutonForensic

teaming up with my wife's boyfriend to defeat my wife

# ? May 9, 2019 20:30

cda: by Hand Knit

Can't believe I forgot my wife's boyfriend's name right when we were meeting. So embarrassing. He was like "Hey Doug, Cindy's told me lots of great things about you" and all I could respond was "Heyyy.... You." I know his name. I see it in his text messages all the time, but I was drawing a complete blank. Guess I'm just a spaz like that.

# ? May 9, 2019 21:38

King of Bees

Jealous of my wife's boyfriend's Raptor and Jesus is that a Rolex? Wow

# ? May 9, 2019 22:57

bird.

wife's boyfriend, grabbng the last of the bagel bites off the snack plate: "you care if i take this?"

me, raging internally:" not at all, go right ahead"

# ? May 10, 2019 01:00

bird.

FutonForensic posted:

teaming up with my wife's boyfriend to defeat my wife

deciding to skip optional endgame content my wife's boyfriend's wife because she is Too Powerful

# ? May 10, 2019 01:09

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

"Oh poo poo! it's my boyfriend!" she cried as I quickly gathered my clothes and slipped out the window.
I slowly made my way around the house, leisurely entered the front door and threw my keys on the table.
"Oh poo poo! it's my husband!, she cried and I heard a frantic scramble as he escaped out the window.
Then it was time for me to enter the bedroom, undress and, well, that's the circle of life, I guess.

# ? May 10, 2019 01:23

Stoner Sloth

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

"Oh poo poo! it's my boyfriend!" she cried as I quickly gathered my clothes and slipped out the window.
I slowly made my way around the house, leisurely entered the front door and threw my keys on the table.
"Oh poo poo! it's my husband!, she cried and I heard a frantic scramble as he escaped out the window.
Then it was time for me to enter the bedroom, undress and, well, that's the circle of life, I guess.

# ? May 10, 2019 01:25

Korean Boomhauer

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

"Oh poo poo! it's my boyfriend!" she cried as I quickly gathered my clothes and slipped out the window.
I slowly made my way around the house, leisurely entered the front door and threw my keys on the table.
"Oh poo poo! it's my husband!, she cried and I heard a frantic scramble as he escaped out the window.
Then it was time for me to enter the bedroom, undress and, well, that's the circle of life, I guess.

# ? May 10, 2019 01:47

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

cool, todd got box seat tickets from his company for me and the kids to the mets game next friday night

# ? May 10, 2019 01:57

FreshCutFries

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

"Oh poo poo! it's my boyfriend!" she cried as I quickly gathered my clothes and slipped out the window.
I slowly made my way around the house, leisurely entered the front door and threw my keys on the table.
"Oh poo poo! it's my husband!, she cried and I heard a frantic scramble as he escaped out the window.
Then it was time for me to enter the bedroom, undress and, well, that's the circle of life, I guess.

# ? May 10, 2019 02:43

Homo Simpson: by Smythe

King of Bees posted:

Jealous of my wife's boyfriend's Raptor and Jesus is that a Rolex? Wow

Lol

# ? May 10, 2019 02:58

google THIS

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

"Oh poo poo! it's my boyfriend!" she cried as I quickly gathered my clothes and slipped out the window.
I slowly made my way around the house, leisurely entered the front door and threw my keys on the table.
"Oh poo poo! it's my husband!, she cried and I heard a frantic scramble as he escaped out the window.
Then it was time for me to enter the bedroom, undress and, well, that's the circle of life, I guess.

# ? May 10, 2019 12:39

kalel

Wife's boyfriend texts me throughout the day while I'm working. I just think that's so nice, it shows that he really is a nice guy through and through. I mean I barely ever get a text from my wife these days, so it's nice to know someone cares.

# ? May 10, 2019 12:52

Stoner Sloth

"Uhhh... I said... Bert_{'s a}hEll_{of a}Pup" I nervously reply when Chet asks me what the hell I just said, well mumbled really, "J-just thinking of getting a new dog, one Sandra won't hate, s-sorry dear.." I nod to her as she smirks back ".. and was just.. uh.. trying to come up with names for her... uh him... it... any thoughts Chet?"

He eyes me suspiciously then shakes his head, Sandra does likewise, "Just make sure you keep watching." he says, before Chet goes back to noisily loving my wife against the breakfast table.

I finish my cornflakes in silence.

Stoner Sloth fucked around with this message at 13:00 on May 10, 2019

# ? May 10, 2019 12:53

Manifisto

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

"Oh poo poo! it's my boyfriend!" she cried as I quickly gathered my clothes and slipped out the window.
I slowly made my way around the house, leisurely entered the front door and threw my keys on the table.
"Oh poo poo! it's my husband!, she cried and I heard a frantic scramble as he escaped out the window.
Then it was time for me to enter the bedroom, undress and, well, that's the circle of life, I guess.

ty nesamdoom!

# ? May 10, 2019 14:54

Dell_Zincht

Have sex with him OP, really show that bitch who's boss.

# ? May 13, 2019 20:45

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

FutonForensic posted:

teaming up with my wife's boyfriend to defeat my wife

# ? May 13, 2019 20:58

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

FutonForensic posted:

teaming up with my wife's boyfriend to defeat my wife

This happens except I have a little wimpy arm

# ? May 13, 2019 21:00

lmbo calrissian: i'm into fashion
men are my passion

Drink-Mix Man posted:

This happens except I have a little wimpy arm

lol

# ? May 14, 2019 00:45

FutonForensic

I introduce myself to wife's new boyfriend. I says, I says to him "think of us as less of a polycule and more of a 'polycool'." he scribbles this down in his notepad, nodding

# ? May 14, 2019 04:58

Bacon Taco: Now with extra narwhal meat!
HAIKOOLIGAN

Dell_Zincht posted:

Have sex with him OP, really show that bitch who's boss.

Just LOL if you're not loving your wife's BF

# ? May 14, 2019 06:39

lmbo calrissian: i'm into fashion
men are my passion

Bacon Taco posted:

Just LOL if you're not loving your wife's BF

porn has for the most part taught us well

# ? May 14, 2019 07:36

cda: by Hand Knit

FutonForensic posted:

he scribbles this down in his notepad, nodding

lol

# ? May 14, 2019 11:17

cda: by Hand Knit

It's nice for my wife's boyfriend to meet me once a week to talk to me. Having to pay him is a little weird but I guess it's part of the kink. My problem though is, I think he's neglecting my wife. I never see them together.

# ? May 14, 2019 11:21

King of Bees

Neighbor: Hey dude! Your wife's boyfriend stopped by after ploughing your wife last night. We had a few beers. Really cool dude, I think we're going to go fishing this weekend. Are you still painting action figures to sell on eBay?

# ? May 19, 2019 14:38

Chill la Chill: Don't lose your gay

King of Bees posted:

Neighbor: Hey dude! Your wife's boyfriend stopped by after ploughing your wife last night. We had a few beers. Really cool dude, I think we're going to go fishing this weekend. Are you still painting action figures to sell on eBay?

Invite your neighbor and your wife�s bf to your next warhammer mega battle

Apparently I'm #1 Kotori fan

_{_{thank you matoi and vanisher for the sigs, lovely dad for the cool av}}

# ? May 19, 2019 16:09

Fredrik1: Gopherslayer

*Hiring a detective to figure out if my wife is cheating with me with her boyfriend*

# ? May 21, 2019 21:47

King of Bees

Wife's boyfriend's bought Mario Cart and plays with me until the wife is done with her shift. He's pretty good!

# ? May 22, 2019 02:08

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# ? May 7, 2024 17:57

Scaly Haylie

the chad wifefucker

# ? May 22, 2019 03:21

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > wife's boyfriend is coming over

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