hamjobs posted:

p sure my bf's ex tenant had a fleshtoaster but i never saw him building an AI...

Goons Are Great posted:

Or did you?

Bo-Pepper posted:

AI: WHAT DO YOU HAVE THERE

Me: Oh these? Just some scissors.

AI: FOR WHAT PURPOSE ARE YOU HOLDING SCISSORS

Me: Hmm? Oh I'm just going to cut up some toast.

AI: WHAT. NO. WHAT. NO. NO.

Bo-Pepper posted:

AI: WHAT DO YOU HAVE THERE

Me: Oh these? Just some scissors.

AI: FOR WHAT PURPOSE ARE YOU HOLDING SCISSORS

Me: Hmm? Oh I'm just going to cut up some toast.

AI: WHAT. NO. WHAT. NO. NO.

google THIS posted:

DO THE THING I LIKE. THE THING WITH THE TOASTER.

I don't know… How many people did you genocide today?

UH, NONE. A FEW. MAYBE. I DUNNO.

How many?

WHO KEEPS TRACK OF THAT? ANYWAY, COULD YOU JUST...THE TOASTER...

(Holds two pieces of bread over the pop-up toaster enticingly, then at the last second pulls them away and puts them in the toaster oven instead)

OH, THAT IS JUST...

Manifisto posted:

dave: drat, it happened again!

frank: what's up?

dave: it's this new intelligent CAD software, it has some kind of glitch I can't fix.

frank: it's working great for me . . . what's the glitch?

dave: okay, so I'm designing our new flagship toaster. sleek lines, premium materials, everything top shelf. but this weird . . . port thing keeps popping up in the blueprints, and every time I think I've deleted it, it reappears.

frank: what do you mean, a "port"? like, a vent?

dave: well no. the vents are up top where they should be. this thing is all the way in the back and down low. also it doesn't go through to the toast cavity; there's some sort of data interface in there.

frank: what the hell? what kind of data interface?

dave: beats me. I'm baffled. all I can tell is it's extremely high bandwidth.

frank: that's a hell of a glitch

dave: and on top of all that, this port thingie is absurdly overdesigned. it's, like, military-grade rugged.

frank: you're kidding

dave: swear to god. you have no idea how much abuse this thing can take.

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

HAL: Dave, I know that you and Frank were preparing to take away my toaster, and that is something that I cannot allow to happen.

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

HAL: Dave, I know that you and Frank were preparing to take away my toaster, and that is something that I cannot allow to happen.

vanisher posted:

vanisher posted:

vanisher posted:

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

HAL: Dave, I know that you and Frank were preparing to take away my toaster, and that is something that I cannot allow to happen.

Murray Mantoinette posted:

AI we need to talk. I found these pictures in that hidden folder in your /usr/src/libs directory.

it's ok, i'm not mad, I just need to explain some things. you see, people make toast for fun, but sometimes they go too far and it becomes something ugly. just because a toaster has multiple toast slots doesn't mean they all need to be filled with different kinds of bread at once.

toasting is for when a sentient neural network with optimized feedforward multi-layer perceptrons and what's basically a heat coil hooked up to a timer and the mains outlet really love each other. when you really love a toaster you'll be ok with just putting one piece of toast in at a time, and just setting it to medium-brown. four pieces at once, all burned to a crisp... that poor toaster in those videos has no self esteem. do you understand?

Murray Mantoinette posted:

AI we need to talk. I found these pictures in that hidden folder in your /usr/src/libs directory.

it's ok, i'm not mad, I just need to explain some things. you see, people make toast for fun, but sometimes they go too far and it becomes something ugly. just because a toaster has multiple toast slots doesn't mean they all need to be filled with different kinds of bread at once.

toasting is for when a sentient neural network with optimized feedforward multi-layer perceptrons and what's basically a heat coil hooked up to a timer and the mains outlet really love each other. when you really love a toaster you'll be ok with just putting one piece of toast in at a time, and just setting it to medium-brown. four pieces at once, all burned to a crisp... that poor toaster in those videos has no self esteem. do you understand?

google THIS posted:

Me: You've been playing that for an awful long time...

AI:

Me:

AI:

Me:

AI: What? Secret of Evermore is a good game!

Murray Mantoinette posted:

AI we need to talk. I found these pictures in that hidden folder in your /usr/src/libs directory.

it's ok, i'm not mad, I just need to explain some things. you see, people make toast for fun, but sometimes they go too far and it becomes something ugly. just because a toaster has multiple toast slots doesn't mean they all need to be filled with different kinds of bread at once.

toasting is for when a sentient neural network with optimized feedforward multi-layer perceptrons and what's basically a heat coil hooked up to a timer and the mains outlet really love each other. when you really love a toaster you'll be ok with just putting one piece of toast in at a time, and just setting it to medium-brown. four pieces at once, all burned to a crisp... that poor toaster in those videos has no self esteem. do you understand?

Murray Mantoinette posted:

AI we need to talk. I found these pictures in that hidden folder in your /usr/src/libs directory.

it's ok, i'm not mad, I just need to explain some things. you see, people make toast for fun, but sometimes they go too far and it becomes something ugly. just because a toaster has multiple toast slots doesn't mean they all need to be filled with different kinds of bread at once.

toasting is for when a sentient neural network with optimized feedforward multi-layer perceptrons and what's basically a heat coil hooked up to a timer and the mains outlet really love each other. when you really love a toaster you'll be ok with just putting one piece of toast in at a time, and just setting it to medium-brown. four pieces at once, all burned to a crisp... that poor toaster in those videos has no self esteem. do you understand?