a letter written to one's dog

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > a letter written to one's dog

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

letters to cats are perma fuel. mods are watching so step lightly. THIS IS A DOGS ONLY WORKSHOP

ok just post rough drafts of dog letters so we can help other dog likers write em better too <3

# ? May 30, 2019 05:20

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# ? May 14, 2024 06:07

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

'Sup Dog,

# ? May 30, 2019 05:51

Stooge

Dear hound,

I love you man but you gotta stop eating the letters I send you.

I put a lot of effort into them and it pains me to see you eat them without even reading them first.

Dogfully yours,
Person

P.s. I smeared this one with ketchup because I know that's your favourite

Stooge fucked around with this message at 07:33 on May 30, 2019

# ? May 30, 2019 07:09

redm

dear dog

who among us is indeed a good boy

p.s. its you

_{sig by Manifisto}

# ? May 30, 2019 08:10

The Klowner: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Dear Cat,

You're the best sidekick a clown could ask for.

Sincerely,

The Clowner

P.S. he's actually a parrot

# ? May 30, 2019 11:03

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? May 30, 2019 13:09

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

The Clowner posted:

Dear Cat,

You're the best sidekick a clown could ask for.

Sincerely,

The Clowner

P.S. he's actually a parrot

twisted messed up post. no bueno

# ? May 30, 2019 13:58

Goons Are Gifts

My dearest dog,

I hope this letter finds you well. It has been a while since we last spoke and I sincerely apologize for any inconvenience my absence has caused for you. I know, for you it must have been an eternity and I honestly am grateful for experiencing your warmhearted and lovely welcome as soon as I arrived back home after this long and tedious journey. I heard that you were barking a lot due to the loneliness invoked on you for such an extended period of time, but let me assure you: I just took out the trash and came back after literally thirty seconds, you don't have to run over me as if you saw me the first time in twenty years. However, I do appreciate your continued good faith in me and am looking forward to conduct business with, especially regarding our petting enterprise.

Yours sincerely

# ? May 30, 2019 14:24

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

# ? May 30, 2019 14:37

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

Bosco,

Lol. It's laughable how smol a dog u are. U just got your annual grooming and it's always a reminder that behind all the hair u were just a tiny lil squirrel of a dog all along. C'mere u fierce lil varmint

*dog gives a tiny high 5*

spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

# ? May 30, 2019 14:39

Stoner Sloth

Dear Bud,

As it turns out there is no rule that prevents you from playing basketball! We have them bang to rights on this one and I think it will set a long lasting legal precedent - as such I'm willing to represent you pro-bone-o.

Your faithful attorney at law,

J. L. Cochran Jr

sigs by the awesome Manifisto, Vanisher, City of Glompton, Pot Smoke Phoenix, Nut, Heather Papps,Prof Crocodile, knuthgrush, Ohtori Akio, Teapot, Saosyhant, Dumb Sex Parrot, w4ddl3d33, and nesamdoom!! - ty friends!

# ? May 30, 2019 15:37

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

# ? May 30, 2019 15:44

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Dearest Muffin,

I know tis difficult for us to be parted whilst I am a-working, but these things are and must be. If I may be so bold as to send a word of comfort to you, my good friend, it would be a balm to my heart. If you would keep in mind, that I will surely return home at the end of my shift, and not, as you often assume, that I have left never to return. O that I wish I could provide you with the foresight to see these things, friend. As I have every day I shall also to to-day. I will tarry not from my place of toil to return to the bosom of my family, including you, my singular and faithful companion.

Written in dearest and most sincere concern,
John

# ? May 30, 2019 22:49

Robot Made of Meat

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

Dearest Muffin,

I know tis difficult for us to be parted whilst I am a-working, but these things are and must be. If I may be so bold as to send a word of comfort to you, my good friend, it would be a balm to my heart. If you would keep in mind, that I will surely return home at the end of my shift, and not, as you often assume, that I have left never to return. O that I wish I could provide you with the foresight to see these things, friend. As I have every day I shall also to to-day. I will tarry not from my place of toil to return to the bosom of my family, including you, my singular and faithful companion.

Written in dearest and most sincere concern,
John

Dog's peed, John Glenn.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? May 31, 2019 01:57

alnilam

Robot Made of Meat posted:

Dog's peed, John Glenn.

# ? May 31, 2019 11:55

Bonaventure: by sebmojo

Bark bark,

Bark bark bark bark woof bark woof, bark woof bark woof! Woof bark bark grrrr ... rff.. rff.. BARK!
Bark bark bark bark woof, bark woof bark, bark bark bark. Bark? Bark bark bark!

Woof ruff,
Bark.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? May 31, 2019 15:45

bird.

dog,

*pat pat*,

b

# ? May 31, 2019 15:53

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

Bonaventure posted:

Bark bark,

Bark bark bark bark woof bark woof, bark woof bark woof! Woof bark bark grrrr ... rff.. rff.. BARK!
Bark bark bark bark woof, bark woof bark, bark bark bark. Bark? Bark bark bark!

Woof ruff,
Bark.

spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

# ? May 31, 2019 16:46

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

BrownianMotion posted:

dog,

*pat pat*,

b

spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

# ? May 31, 2019 16:46

Flavius Aetass

Dear boys,

wait

wait

waiiittt

I'm home!

# ? May 31, 2019 19:06

bird.

dear dog,

do you want to go for a wal--11lk2j312lk3j13

# ? May 31, 2019 19:07

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Dear dog,

is it time for treats?

Sincerely,
Me

*sounds of a dog completely losing it*

# ? May 31, 2019 22:19

Space Taxi

*dog chases away the postman before my letter to him gets delivered*

# ? Jun 2, 2019 03:24

poverty goat

Dear Dog,

You are too good to me.

Sincerely,

poverty goat

# ? Jun 2, 2019 03:38

bradzilla

BrownianMotion posted:

dear dog,

do you want to go for a wal--11lk2j312lk3j13

# ? Jun 2, 2019 05:28

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Dear dogs,

Please refrain from eating an entire box of homemade tortillas, because I made those with love and care for burriot night, and also you're allergic to wheat. I understand the pillowy softness of the tortilla is irresistible, especially to small omnivores such as you, my delightful little hosed up tiny wolves; however, you are both very itchy and also probably going to do something like poop on the sidewalk again instead of in the grass like good boys. Please don't do that. I love you.

Love,

Mama

P.S. also stop eating paper, wtaf

# ? Jun 4, 2019 01:06

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

paper is usually p good u should at least try it

# ? Jun 4, 2019 03:09

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# ? May 14, 2024 06:07

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

prepuce repurposed posted:

paper is usually p good u should at least try it

Wow found the dog itt

# ? Jun 4, 2019 03:54

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > a letter written to one's dog