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       Let's Play Dragon Warrior 3 Why, hello there! I'm Chokington J. McGuillicuty. You may know me from that thing I wrote. (You know the one.) For your viewing pleasure, I'll be kicked in the balls repeatedly by one of the hardest RPG series from the 1980s. This'll be fun! Or maybe it won't! Who the gently caress knows! But first, some background Dragon Warrior (née Dragon Quest) was one of the first major RPGs for the NES, predating even the venerable Final Fantasy. Famous for its world building and often bizarre cast of enemies, Dragon Warrior sent an unnamed descendant of Erdrick on a perilous quest to search tiles of the final level no one in their right mind would check for an item you need to beat the game. Not bitter. No sir. Anyway, the Dragon Quest series did fairly well in Japan, which is a bit like saying Marvel had some hit movies in the late 2010s. DW3 sold more than a million copies the day it was released. There were hundreds of arrest for truancy. I know I have a tendency to exaggerate for comedy purposes, but these are straight up no-lie numbers. It's nuts how much Japan loves Dragon Warrior/Quest, and it helps that Dragon Warrior 3 is when the series really started to gel. You were given the (admittedly limited) ability to construct your own party of four, a couple of gadget classes, and even the ability to pick genders for everyone. The day and night system was also introduced, giving two different faces to towns and a good ol' fashioned nighttime dose of "you're gonna die if you go out there" monsters. Class changes! Huge worlds! Hilariously overpowered weapons! This is the good stuff right here. It's still stat porn at heart, but there's enough surrounding it that you might not even notice. I mean, I will, but you might not. Build-a-Party But enough backstory! You're here for the party construction and the lmaos, I just know it. I can feel it in my bones. Here's your options.  Our HeroOur daring protagonist is fairly standard issue: child of a legendary warrior, second best fighter in the game, equips special armors and spells, yadda yadda. Honestly, s/he is appropriately ridiculous in power levels and utility as they level up. That's right, I said s/he! You get to pick the Hero's gender! Although... the same sprite is used for both, and you still get called "he" by everyone.  Later games turn this into a running joke, where the Heroine is very tomboyish, only differs in height and slenderness, and is constantly mistaken for a boy. Still weird.The Hero obviously can't be changed out like other party members. You can run and run, but you can't run from yourself.  Soldier  Soldiers are your big heavy tanks. They can equip the heaviest armor and weapons in the game, have the best defense, and hit like trucks. There's not a lot more to say about them, really. When you need to punch someone in the face, you can't go wrong with a soldier.  Fighters  If Soldiers are the tanks, Fighters are your... uh... jets? I don't know, this is a bad analogy ok. Fighters are fast and hit hard, and (IIRC) can do just as much damage barehanded as a soldier, if not more. The downside is their defense. They don't get to wear heavy armor, so they've kind of got a glass cannon thing going on. Fighters are also a fine choice for face punching. They just require a little more care and feeding than Soldiers do.   Your run-of-the-mill cleric. Heals, hits things but not very hard, etc. In Dragon Warrior, Pilgrims get access to tornado offensive spells, because of course they do. They also have the ability to make an enemy drop dead of a heart attack. Seriously. Get high enough level, and you learn Beat, which attempts to instakill a monster. Level up even more than that, and you get Defeat, which attempts to instakill an entire group. As always, the usefulness depends on how tough the monster is. Also, you can't cause things without hearts (i.e. undead) to have heart attacks, so stop casting it on them, dummy. Going without one of these is tantamount to suicide. I don't feel like buying a poo poo ton of healing items every time I'm in town, so for the purposes of this LP, a pilgrim will be a requirement for any given party. I gotta make it to the end of this thing, y'know.  Wizard  Warm up your spellbooks, because Wizards get some ridiculous attack spells in this game. There's some classic Wizardry spells lurking in here, too. Expect to see analogues for Tiltowait and Haman before we're done with this. For those of you who were around for the Wizardry LP, Haman alone should be enough to raise eyebrows. For those of you that haven't read the Wizardry LP, go read it. I spent a lot of time writing that LP, dammit! To the surprise of no one, Wizards can't fight worth poo poo and can't equip anything except clothes. However, this being Dragon Warrior, they can get all sorts of special equipment to make up for it. You still don't want to be using "Fight" unless they're out of gas, but they'll end up with a few tricks up their sleeves as you progress through the game.  Merchants  Here's where things get interesting. Merchants are one of two unique gadget classes in this installment. Here, they have three special abilities:
Obviously, we'll see that last one at some point. Until then, it'll just be a secret between me and... well, me.  Goof-Offs (aka Jesters)  Do not create a Goof-Off. Goof-offs are worthless. They have no special abilities. You can't even control them in combat. They'll just randomly do things without you getting a say in it, like casting huge spells they don't have the MP for (which will obviously fail) or dancing around with their pants on their head or whatever. They are a waste of a slot, and this game is hard enough without tying a limb behind your back. Do not create a Goof-Off. Okay, that's not strictly true. There is one, and only one, instance where you want a Goof-Off. It is very late game, though, and at that point it's just maxing out your party because you can. Personally, I don't give a poo poo about their "special" ability. I'm going to be doing enough grinding as is. I hate grinding. I'm not going to create a Goof-Off. And Now, the Moment You've Been Waiting For  You guys know the drill!  No, not that one. I need four characters to get this thing off the launchpad. Here's what I need from you:
Here are your restrictions:
Some ideas may get mushed together. There's been a ton of good ones in the past, and I don't like letting inspiration go without a fight. The Usual Disclaimers No spoilers. No spoilers, no spoilers, no spoilers. Do not spoil equipment. Do not spoil spells. Do not spoil the plot, which I shouldn't have to say, yet here we are. Nothing is to be spoilt, on this day or any other. Don't be that poster that runs in here without looking and goes OH MAN HAVE YOU TRIED CASTING ______ YET IT DOES _____ AND IT OWNS because everyone will hate you and insult your parentage and never speak to you again. So don't do it! Let's see those characters, people! The faster we get a party assembled, the faster we can get started!
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Jun 8, 2019 05:39
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Reserved.
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Jun 8, 2019 05:39
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Shanna Personality: Used to be a Wizardess, had a change of heart after a particular run-in with some undead. As it turns out, holy magic is even better at lighting zombies on fire than actual fire! She has an enormous amount of patience and is effectively the mom of the group. When finally pushed too far you might want to be in the next town over when that Mama Bear comes out 
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Jun 8, 2019 05:56
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Webby, the Female Fighter Very gifted warrior and explorer, but is a scholar at heart. Is just at home miles deep in ancient ruins as she is drinking tea and reading a book in a forgotten language. Possesses a great amount of knowledge about the world. Moves like she's getting used to her body. For all her worldly knowledge and abilities, she has little to no social skills and often says inappropriate things. Occasionally found muttering about finding something called "dispel". Shut up I'm watching the new DuckTales and she's my favorite character
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Jun 8, 2019 05:56
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Kai Hu, Dark Sage of the Sunlight Peak! ...okay, just a Wizard. A guy with way too much drama to handle. Loves saying creepy, weird things like he's a demonic soul in a human body or the reincarnation of a zombie dragon or whatever. Keeps wanting to mix sword and sorcery, but is totally incompetent at physical fighting. Junpei fucked around with this message at 07:08 on Jun 8, 2019 |
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Jun 8, 2019 06:51
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Rabbi Raccoon posted:Webby, the Female Fighter Woo-Hoo! I am going with SWINDLE (Merchant). Swindle, proprietor of Swindle, Swindle, and Swindle's totally legitimate second hand sales and/or item service. If it exists, Swindle can sell it to you! Item may not actually exist. Swindle lives up to his name. Items from the store are non-returnable, non-refundable. And no money back guarantee. Swindle is known to occasoinally employ mercenaries to go and beat up people that just bought thimgs from him so he can sell them again, and has had a secondary business for years of selling faux 'You are the Chosen One' paraphenalia. Also for some reason has a complete loathing of Bards and Tales, someone named Lord Britannia, and inexplicably of all most someone named Werdna.
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Jun 8, 2019 06:58
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Would have been nice to see an LP of the SNES Dragon Quest III instead, with the earlier LP being the NES version as well. But oh well, this game is still good. Unfortunately don't really have any clever character suggestions right now.
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Jun 8, 2019 09:17
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Cyflan posted:Would have been nice to see an LP of the SNES Dragon Quest III instead, with the earlier LP being the NES version as well. Great! Dumb character suggestions are what makes for legendary LPs  If you want to participate, just throw spaghetti at the wall. One of my favorite characters to write literally listed “Trog” for three categories and then “Trog punch good yes?” and I rolled with that for two entire LPs. 
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Jun 8, 2019 15:53
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Jaybird the Wizard Snarky to a fault, but incredibly perceptive. Pretty much always has some kind of running commentary on what's happening in front of him. Giggles with glee at awkward situations. But since people know it doesn't come from a malicious place, they tolerate him. Usually.
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Jun 8, 2019 16:00
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Oh that reminds me. Multiple suggestions are okay and in fact encouraged.
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Jun 8, 2019 16:30
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I am hype for this. I am sad that Idiot BERSERKER is not an approved choice. I'll just need to get my uncontrolled stupidity on my own in a couple weeks.
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Jun 8, 2019 18:18
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Chokes McGee posted:For your viewing pleasure, I'll be kicked in the balls repeatedly by one of the hardest RPG series from the 1980s. Aren't you one game late for that?
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Jun 8, 2019 18:22
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Erdrick (Erica!) Male (FEMALE) Hero (Heroine damnit!) Poor Erica. Her parents SO very much wanted to have a legendary hero for a child. A legendary MALE hero. So much so that they have forced the role upon her. Renaming her Erdrick against her wishes and constantly referring to her as a male, they force her to go out on a 'heroic' adventure. They are propaganda mastesr who have spread their 'son's' made up legend far and wide. Everywhere she goes she is just exasperated and kind of bitter with everyone clamoring to see the great 'Hero', when she'd much rather just kick back with a quiet relaxing life. Unfortunately for her even the forces of evil have bought into the story, so they come looking for 'him'.
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Jun 8, 2019 18:46
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ultrafilter posted:Aren't you one game late for that? Never played 2, if that’s what you’re asking. I also said “one of,” or else I’d be here doing Bard’s Tale—which, by the way, I tried to get off the ground three times before I settled on this. Bard’s Tale just has these humongous tedious holding patterns and once you get past the early meat grinder there’s just not a lot to work with. 
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Jun 8, 2019 18:49
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Name - Nina Gender - Female Class - Merchant Personality - Born into money, Nina hates that anything can be bought or sold. Her family has no idea how lower class people live, and only have opinions formed from privilege. She empathizes with the less fortunate however, and runs away from home. She will build a fortune from the ground up and use it for good! She'll empower the proletariat and overthrow the bourgeoisie with new allies - forging an empire for the common man! And hey, if they kill a dragon or whatever along the way, that's cool too I guess.
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Jun 8, 2019 19:21
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Name - Robin Gender - Male Class - Soldier Brave, brave sir Robin is actually not a soldier at all. He's a pirate and a banker and a murderer and a polka afficionado. Luckily for him, his plan to ambush and kill a rival had the good timing to save the King's mum from certain death, earning him a pardon and title. He has enjoyed the patronage of the king and the lasses trying to wed a handsome, rich knight. And well, monsters carry plenty of gold to plunder, too, aye?
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Jun 8, 2019 20:05
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Chokes McGee posted:Great! Dumb character suggestions are what makes for legendary LPs Chokes McGee posted:Never played 2, if that’s what you’re asking. The Bard Male The Bard is a cad, a knave, and a scoundrel. He might also be a schizophrenic, because he constantly hears a voice narrating his life, which he frequently responds to out loud. Between his constant kleptomania, laziness, cowardice, and incessant snarky attitude, it's a wonder he hasn't been kicked out of Aliahan before now. However, on the day he comes of age, he gets called to the castle...
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Jun 8, 2019 20:30
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Weeble posted:Erdrick (Erica!) Spite is my favorite motivation for a hero
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Jun 8, 2019 20:53
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Qwo Poo Male If you were to believe him, Qwo Poo is the heir to an ancient legacy of drunken master martial arts. The reality is... less so. Qwo's "fighting style," to put it charitably, is "the ancient art of Cheatalotto," which is less katas and controlled strikes and more open-palm face slaps and crotch kicks while making Bruce Lee noises. Every so often, he'll throw in a series of rapid-fire punches while making the Kenshiro "WOOT AT AT AT AT" shout. He acts like a typical hot-blooded shonen anime hero, except if he were more drunk and more of a complete and utter gently caress-up. The Goof-Off guild kicked him out; he's that bad.
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Jun 8, 2019 21:06
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Xiowix the Male Wizard A man with the potential to become a mighty mage, quite possibly the mightiest. The only thing stopping him is the fact that he's lazy when it comes to casting spells. He'd rather just hit things with his weapon.
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Jun 8, 2019 22:22
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Commander Keene posted:Man, I loved those SaGa LPs; sadly, I wasn't around for the threads, but I read them on the Archive. *looks over at skara brae* yeeeeaaaah... missed by a bit there
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Jun 8, 2019 22:22
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Something just occurred to me: we’re probably going to roll 5-6 deep and do some swapping as things go on. It’ll be more of a pain, but I want to start with a merchant for strategic purposes, which means I’m going to need a heavier fighter when poo poo is going down. So, if you don’t make our starting four, take heart! You may just get a spot on the bench.
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Jun 8, 2019 22:28
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Don't really have any character ideas, but I'm looking forward to the start of this.
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Jun 9, 2019 00:46
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*sees new thread by Chokes McGee* Me: Hey isn't that the guy who did the LP's of Final Fantasy Legends and Wizardry 1? ... Holy poo poo, he is! I just want to thank you for those excellent LP's of those games. I think those were some of the first LP's I read from Something Awful (on the LP archive of course), and discovering them and reading them are some of my best memories to come out of high school. I'm glad to be here on the ground floor for an adventure with a new cast of goobers. So here's a character, I guess! Smerd Male Pilgrim...? No one knows much about Smerd. He just showed up in town one day, claiming to be a cleric-in-training and offering his services to the nearest church (or whatever organization is appropriate. I've never played DW3 before. Please substitute for the most appropriate organization). The person in charge took him in, partly because Smerd was clearly competent and seemed nice enough, but mostly because that person was understaffed and needed another helping hand around the church. The person in charge has come to regret this, because Smerd is actually a massive, [i]massive[/b] dick and a half. Yes, Smerd does everything asked of him (and them some) to keep the community safe from monsters and other villains, but it's almost as though Smerd does it so that he can terrorize the town by himself. Smerd gets drunk, trashes places, and lies near constantly to try to get others to take the blame for him. There has also been a mysterious upsurge in petty and major thefts in the area, and people have been coming in with the weirdest, most rear end in a top hat-ish curses (who the gently caress curses the town baker to turn all flour he touches into ash? why?). There's no definitive proof that it's Smerd... but it's definitely him. But without solid proof, the person-in-charge can't get Smerd arrested, and can only kick him out... Smerd is back on the road, and is wondering where to go next. This isn't the first time he's been kicked out of town for this reason, and he's running out of places where his face is unknown, when suddenly, over the horizon, approaches a (wo)man. Why, it's the child of legend, and they don't seem to have a pilgrim with them! 'Maybe', Smerd thinks, 'I can convince them to take me with them. In places that already know my name, I can claim to be reformed, no one would be suspicious of the travelling companion of the child of destiny!' And so Smerd goes, back to his old tricks... tl; dr, Smerd is a charismatic sociopath who can ingratiate himself with just about anyone for a time. He can even deflect suspicions from himself to those around him, but that won't work forever. How the gently caress is this guy a cleric, anyways? Addendum: I just realized that for the main character to actually accept Smerd into the party, the main character would have to be either have to not know Smerd at all, or be hopelessly naive and believe that Smerd is a good person at heart, despite everything pointing to Smerd being a sociopath (but one who is a competent cleric/pilgrim). Again, never played DW3, so I don't know how the main character is introduced into the story/their origins, so I don't know which version would be the most correct. (edit to addendum: it's hard to type on my phone, especially when it's like two and I can't go to sleep.) DiggleWrath fucked around with this message at 03:16 on Jun 10, 2019 |
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Jun 9, 2019 01:27
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DiggleWrath posted:Backstory Welp, apparently everyone can get their character idea out in 3 sentences or less except for me. but more words is always a sign of quality... right? *flashbacks to the Pokemon Reborn thread* oh no I'M PART OF THE PROBLEM
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Jun 9, 2019 01:31
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DiggleWrath posted:*sees new thread by Chokes McGee* 
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Jun 9, 2019 03:16
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Okie doke, we're good on characters, gameplay has started. Hoping to have our first update in a few days 
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Jun 9, 2019 19:37
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Just popping in to say that I've massively enjoyed your past LPs, and I'm thrilled you're doing another. I may not post much, but I'll be reading along religiously. Never stop writing, man. Your stuff is extremely entertaining.
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Jun 9, 2019 21:12
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Cirosan posted:Just popping in to say that I've massively enjoyed your past LPs, and I'm thrilled you're doing another. I may not post much, but I'll be reading along religiously. Never stop writing, man. Your stuff is extremely entertaining. Narrator: He stopped writing for four years. I'm still pissed 2016 ate Paper Sorcerer, because Llewyn and Co. had a great rapport. Here's hoping our next group of intrepid morons does just as well!
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Jun 10, 2019 01:51
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I remember that thread! It inspired me to buy the game, but without your commentary it felt kinda flat and I never finished it, unfortunately.
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Jun 10, 2019 01:59
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Darn, missed the ground floor. Ooonnn the other hand all I had was world-weary heroine who simmers with quiet fury but is biding her time on people misgendering her so nothing lost there. 2016 was bad times for everyone, no shame in taking a few years off life after that shitshow.
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Jun 10, 2019 02:37
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Chapter 1: The Legendary Hero-ish  And away we go!    Rise and shiiiiine~ uggggggggggh  Gal. Hmm? Still a girl, mom. Have been for 16 years. Sorry, sweetie, no time to talk about this. We're late enough as is!      Nah. Nope. But thou must! I refuse. But thou must! Fine whatever  Woo castle. It's okay, I guess. Hey, you with the helmet. Which way to the king? Oh. Well, thanks. So, is the king at the end of the hallway here, or— Sure, but which floor can I find the k— Look, I'll just talk to someone else. Oh for gods' sake I'll find him myself  Well, it's about goddamn time.  *whistles* Now that's what I'm talkin' about. Oh! Oh my goodness! It's you! You've been talking to my mom, haven't you? I can't believe I'm meeting the legendary hero~  ...argh. Welcome unto thee, Erika, son of the brave Ortega! Daughter. Whatever. Many sayeth it was a most metal way to die. Oh, what the—I didn't sign a petition! Really? We haveth the paper right here: "I, son of Ortega, pledge to follow in mine father's footsteps." I'm his daughter! And that's not even my handwriting! Sorry, thou hath fileth a form 199-A. Under imperial law, there are, quote, "No taketh backs." Argh Thy enemy shall be... Then how do you know his name? You have to know these things when you're king. Baramos must be defeated! Her! Who art thou talking to? Ugh, nevermind. At least I'm getting paid for this. *mumbling* Way to go, dad. All right, let's see how much the crown thinks I'm worth. ...biteth mine rear end.Welcome to Dragon Warrior 3! Our brave hero If you haven't played much Dragon Warrior, there's a lot of menus. Like, a lot of menus. Everything you do—talking, spells, opening doors, picking your nose—involves a menu. So, you might as well get used to it now. In the meantime, there are people hanging around the castle willing to give you a crash course in game mechanics.  The "Imperial Scrolls of Honor" is a fancy way of saying "cartridge battery," i.e. saving your game.     It's always a good idea to talk to literally everyone in Dragon Warrior, by the way, because this game does not hold your hand on where you're supposed to go next at any given point. You don't want to go wandering through the wilderness on your own. You'll find out real quick where the next tier of monsters are, and that poo poo escalates rapidly. Speaking of which: now that we've been designated the Official Protagonist™, let's go pester people around the castle!  Do you guys do the whole pillory with tomatoes thing? That sounds like it'd be great. Nah, they don't let us do that anymore. We just throw them in a cage with a minimal amount of food and human dignity. Well, that's no fun. I sure as poo poo know where I'd be. Could be worse. At least you don't have someone kicking you out of town with vague directions. It's different for you. You're a boy. For gently caress's sake  Well, this looks cheery. ...  So let me get this straight. You broke into here with a skeleton key to rob the castle, and your point of entry was a heavily guarded prison where they immediately threw you in jail. ... Is everyone here incompetent, or am I just catching you all on a bad day? All right, I guess I have to go hire some thug—er, party members. Let's see. Who to hire, who to hire... Hey. Hey kid. *hic* Take it from me, a *hic* shcentifich ech... esx... *hic* I know what I'm talkin' about. You know what? gently caress it, I trust you implicitly. Yeah, I need to hire some adventurers. I'm thinking a warrior of some kind, a pilgrim, and a wizard. Oh, you'll want the upstairs department. We don't handle applicants. But... but everyone said this where you go to meet people! Meet, sure. But if you want to hire someone you'll need forms 1049-A and 6148 for proper vetting and proof of residency. This is where you get a 194 Schedule F for licensing groups of people into parties. I swear, this castle bureaucracy...  Yeah, hi. I'm here to hire some adventurers. Well, you've come to the right place. Let me gather up our available applicants. *shuffles papers* Here you go. *read* Well? Ha ha, no, seriously. Where's the real resumes? Oh dear. You must be new.Whereas earlier Dragon Warrior installments were (more or less) a one man operation, you need a full party of four this time around. You also get a bench via Luisa's, although we won't be making much use of that for now. Unfortunately, while it's easy enough for us to make characters, poor Erika is stuck with going through the candidates one by one. So, Robin. It says here you're a soldier? Yar. What? What was that? Er. I mean, aye matey. ...okay. So, what would you say your strengths are? Lootin', pillagin', and talkin' to me parrot. ... I'm not a pirate in disguise, if that's what ye be thinkin'. Of course not. Why would I? Tee hee! No. awwww So, Shanna. What would do as a party member? Heal things. That's it? Yup. Well, sometimes hit things. But mostly heal things. Hmm. You're not hitting and healing the same things, right? No. Why would you even ask that? Because you're the most sane person I've talked to all day. You're hired. Qwo Poo, Master of the Fist of Ursa Major, King of Strikes. Sure. Sure, you are. You doubt me? Noooooooo. Completely not sarcastic at all here. WOOOOOOOOO AT AT AT AT AT KYAAAAAAH. ...did you just poke my nose? You're already dead. You just don't know it yet.  ... ... ... ... Get the gently caress out of here before I throw you out. And you are...? Xiowix. Good lord. How do you even spell that? Very carefully. 'kay, well. Do you do anything other than dad jokes? Burn things what need burnin'. Sounds good to me. Welcome aboard. Tee hee! Oh my gods you're the same jester woman in a padded outfit Like you're one to talk! So, you're Nina. Yes. What's your motivation? Why do you think you'd be a good fit for our party? To be honest, the question's irrelevant to me. The will of the proletariat rises when people of all stripes and backgrounds come together. Any four could rise up and throw off the feudal-captalist machine that oppresses this entire land. Why not yours? So, what I'm hearing is, you'll work for free. I don't think that's quite— Besides, you're the only meatshield left on the list that isn't a complete loon, so you're hired anyway. All right, everyone's been properly introduced. You all know your roles, right? Seize the means of monster slaying? Let you do all the heavy lifting? Keep you three from killing yourselves or each other? ...I've made a terrible mistake.Next Time: False Starts, False Ends
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Jun 10, 2019 05:39
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Excellent. Can't wait to see what madness you spin.
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Jun 10, 2019 06:12
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I still got it.  Apologies for the screenshot quality, I’m still knocking the rust off. Black bars should go away next update.
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Jun 10, 2019 06:40
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Chokes McGee posted:I still got it. You really do. Though, why not hire a pirate, as long as he pulls his weight?. DeTosh fucked around with this message at 09:35 on Jun 10, 2019 |
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Jun 10, 2019 09:32
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Chokes McGee posted:I still got it. They're artistic. Next update should be in letterbox and black and white.
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Jun 10, 2019 09:58
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 oh neat Nina got picked!   excited for more Chokes LP
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Jun 10, 2019 11:26
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DeTosh posted:You really do. You never know, we might need a soldier later
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Jun 10, 2019 15:00
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RIP Smerd. He's probably passed out in a ditch somewhere, and missed party recruitment day. But I'm looking forward to the ensuing madness. Let's see how many towns Erika burns down for getting her gender wrong.
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Jun 10, 2019 16:13
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DeTosh posted:Though, why not hire a pirate, as long as he pulls his weight?. Because a pirate would probably stab us in the back and try to take over, and we can't be having any mutiny on this
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Jun 10, 2019 19:38
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