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IF FOR SOME REASON YOU KNOW THE PLOT OF NEOPETS: THE DARKEST FAERIE, DON'T SPOIL poo poo. THANK YOU. What is this game? Neopets: The Darkest Faerie is a 2005 game of the ever-nebulous action-adventure genre based on the Neopets franchise. What's Neopets? That's a pretty big question, but essentially Neopets is a site that started around the turn of the century, jumping on the virtual pet craze started by the likes of Pokemon and Tamagotchi, and basically involved keeping your little fellas full of food while exploring the various themed areas of Neopia to try and find items and playing minigames to fill your wallet with Neopoints, the currency used to buy anything and everything (before real money currency became a thing, of course). It was a massive timesuck, and my time with it basically ended when I realized that almost anything worth having was indescribably expensive, because player-based economies are a hell of a thing. So where does the game tie in? Rather than try and do a whole monster-raising thing, the folks who made this game decided to take inspiration from one of the many regions of Neopia, specifically the medieval-themed land of Meridell. Thus, what we have on our hands is a hacky, slashy adventure that can best be described as "Neopets but medieval tho". Almost all of the Neopets that appear are kinda-sorta-furries, which is to say that they're all bipedal. Why play this game? Back in 2005 I seem to recall renting this game, though I don't remember very much from it. When I got my capture card in 2017 I decided to satisfy a nagging curiosity and ordered it off Amazon. I swiftly realized that 2005's Voreskin had some incredibly low standards. It's kind of a trainwreck, and I want to see just how bad it gets while taking as many innocent goons along with me for the ride as I can. Fortunately I'm not alone, having managed to already drag two nerds into this. Doctor Brainhole is a good friend who can best be described as a lover of game design, and Admiral Dickfuck is a hollering gay miasma who can best be described as my boyfriend. Join us as we delve into what can best be described as a shitshow. Didn't you try to do this before? I did. I don't wanna talk about it. RULES Spoilers are punishable by probe. Reminiscing about Neopets is encouraged. Videos                 
Scaly Haylie fucked around with this message at 03:50 on Feb 7, 2022 |
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Jun 8, 2019 20:40
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Scaly Haylie fucked around with this message at 03:50 on Feb 7, 2022 |
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Jun 8, 2019 20:40
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I talked poo poo about the water, but I want to be clear that the water in LEGO The Incredibles is way worse. Even great games have disgusting water sometimes.
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Jun 8, 2019 20:45
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They put Link in a fursuit so now his grunts sound a slight bit weird.
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Jun 8, 2019 21:25
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Man this new season of Telltale's "The Wolf Among Us" sure looks bad 
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Jun 8, 2019 22:52
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FinalGamer posted:Man this new season of Telltale's "The Wolf Among Us" sure looks bad Hubert will remember that.
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Jun 9, 2019 01:12
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Man, I haven't thought about Neopets in ages. I managed to snag a Jetsam once. That was cool.
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Jun 9, 2019 01:13
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My first Neopet was a Shoyru, which in retrospect I think I like because they resemble Mew. I also had the t-rex looking Neopet because my cousins, who introduced me to the site, informed me that they could eat literally anything. That sounded useful.
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Jun 9, 2019 01:19
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Lizard Wizard posted:I also had the t-rex looking Neopet because my cousins, who introduced me to the site, informed me that they could eat literally anything. That sounded useful. I don't remember there being puzzle-solving elements incorporated into exploring Neopia, but I'm sure it would have been if there were.
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Jun 9, 2019 01:31
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I went for a... Gelert...? Lupa? for my first Neopet. I was in that stage of life where I really liked wolves.
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Jun 9, 2019 01:41
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Ibblebibble posted:I went for a... Gelert...? Lupa? for my first Neopet. I was in that stage of life where I really liked wolves. Have I got a game for you!!!!
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Jun 9, 2019 01:51
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Lizard Wizard posted:Have I got a game for you!!!! Oh boyo. I never did hang out in the medieval area much IIRC. The games I preferred were in the prehistoric place. Fun fact about my Jetsam, which is one of the shark dudes. They were a limited "only available on this day of the year" pets, so I got one of my friends to log on to my account and get one as it was a school day. He named it something really dumb, like "Garbage".
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Jun 9, 2019 03:48
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Lizard Wizard posted:My first Neopet was a Shoyru, which in retrospect I think I like because they resemble Mew. Didn't getting a Shoyru mean you had to spend actual money on the game?  or am I thinking one of the other ones
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Jun 9, 2019 03:50
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I wasn't old enough for Neopets when it came around. The big internet multiplayer game that I was into was Poptropica.
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Jun 9, 2019 06:06
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Oh dang I wasted a lot of time on Neopets as a preteen/actual teen. I had a Christmas Zafara that I loved the hell out of 
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Jun 9, 2019 06:44
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What started out as being blindly curious to how much a Christmas Paintbrush costs has devolved into me remaking my Neopets account, red shoyru and all. Alongside this LP I'm going to be visiting the site each day and- ...never mind, it's broken. Scaly Haylie fucked around with this message at 22:57 on Jun 9, 2019 |
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Jun 9, 2019 22:55
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The best thing about Neopets was the big stupid huge plot events. I vaguely remember the uuuh... underwater one with the mermaid sisters where one got visions of good things happening and the other got visions of bad things happening, so the stupid mermaids banished the sister who got 'bad' visions, because how could knowing when bad things are going to happen EVER be helpful?? Like iirc you couldn't prevent the thing she saw from happening, but you could have at least like, planned for the aftermath. EDIT: Fun fact Neopets was owned by the Church of Scientology for a while.
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Jun 10, 2019 01:40
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Ah, this takes me back to my childhood. I loved the site for so long until A: I started to just grow out of it, and B: Inflation got (even) worse and exceeded my desire to earn neopoints purely through games.
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Jun 10, 2019 01:43
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The game the two Lupes (wolves, I had to google to make sure that was the right spelling and now I'm all nostalgic) were playing was referencing a big event in Neopets near the very beginning of its existence where some poor bastard bat dude got corrupted and in turn corrupted a bunch of his subjects then levitated his kingdom above Meridell. A Lupe from the future - which is extremely confusing because as you said in the video, Meridell is still a bass-ackwards country in the modern Neopia gets catapulted "back" to fight, leaving behind his Aisha(?) sister, who looks like the little blue cat child in the start of the video who eventually follows him alongside a ragtag group of her friends. I think it led to a pet colour called Darigan? Or Carrigan? I was't there for it so it's a blur. And the person who asked about Pay to Win pets, the Lutari were released at the same time as a phone tie-in that Neopets did. You could get a contract and you'd get special rewards based on the Space Faerie, who was a Faerie based on space, but you also had the chance to get a Lutari. They were the rarest pets and probably still are, alongside Jetsam, Cybunny, Draik, Poogle, Krawk, Hissi, Tonu, Koi, Kiko and Chomby (I did google these names because lol it's been well over a decade since I played). I used to hear about kids drat near spending real money to get one of those pets.
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Jun 10, 2019 23:44
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Man, I used to love Neopets. I feel like the pay to win stuff wasn't quite so bad back when I was playing, but I also admit to the game eating a lot of my time on a day to day basis (which is probably why I eventually gave it up) and most of my favorites weren't exceptionally rare. I do remember paintbrushes always being a jerk to get though. Will follow this with interest, no matter how far down the dumb rabbit hole (or should that be Cybunny) it goes.
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Jun 11, 2019 01:26
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I'm really surprised they haven't made more games like this really, given how big of a thing Neopets were/are.
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Jun 11, 2019 07:29
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Lightning in a bottle. Nobody fully understands how or why it became so popular, including (or especially) the people that own it; any future attempts to repeat the magic would only be doomed, especially in today's ad-flooded, microtransaction-riddled hellscape.
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Jun 11, 2019 16:20
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Malachite_Dragon posted:Lightning in a bottle. Nobody fully understands how or why it became so popular, including (or especially) the people that own it; any future attempts to repeat the magic would only be doomed, especially in today's ad-flooded, microtransaction-riddled hellscape. The latter part is kind of why. I mean, if you tried to do it today it would look really transparently like the cash grab it is no matter what you do. When it started, neopets had at least actual interest in the critters themselves and an interesting world that promised stuff to find. There's also the matter of the games: back then internet flash games and the like really were both new and huge and the arcade was part of the attraction as you couldn't find that variety anywhere else. Now when you've got Steam and Facebook Arcade, it'd be hard to make it a draw again.
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Jun 11, 2019 16:27
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There have been several popular alternatives to Neopets, all of which one of my siblings bought into at some point. Webkinz, Animal Jam, and so on. Most of them had more going on than Neopets though.
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Jun 11, 2019 17:56
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Jun 11, 2019 19:00
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Korean Boomhauer posted:I'm really surprised they haven't made more games like this really, given how big of a thing Neopets were/are. Turns out there were a few! One of them is Luxor, another was Puzzle Quest, and another still is some kinda hack-and-slash affair for the PSP that I'm assuming is actually the closest to being worth playing, given the competition.
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Jun 12, 2019 03:43
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Can't believe Tor was the real Keyblade master all along from all those sick moves he taught Riku.
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Jun 12, 2019 17:37
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Even 10+ years later, I still know too much about Neopets and its lore, and this LP has exasperated that.
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Jun 12, 2019 18:01
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Lizard Wizard posted:What started out as being blindly curious to how much a Christmas Paintbrush costs has devolved into me remaking my Neopets account, red shoyru and all. Alongside this LP I'm going to be visiting the site each day and- It's not broken, you have to enable flash player to see the maps. Yes, they still haven't updated the site fully.
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Jun 12, 2019 20:04
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 I regret enabling flash. Scaly Haylie fucked around with this message at 20:29 on Jun 12, 2019 |
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Jun 12, 2019 20:09
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Lizard Wizard posted:
You'll eat your sandy omelette and you'll like it.
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Jun 12, 2019 20:57
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That ain't sand.
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Jun 12, 2019 21:06
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Lizard Wizard posted:That ain't sand. Who puts sugar on an omelette???
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Jun 12, 2019 22:10
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Chronische posted:Who puts sugar on an omelette??? I think that's marshmallow if I'm remembering right. Neopets had a lot of weird food items like that.
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Jun 13, 2019 01:43
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Oh god the memories are slowly trickling back 
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Jun 13, 2019 01:51
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friendly reminder that you haven't fed your neopets in over 10+ years
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Jun 13, 2019 03:04
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Simsmagic posted:friendly reminder that you haven't fed your neopets in over 10+ years do they die if they're dead i probably can't fix that, but if they're not dead then they're probably doing fine that's how it works right
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Jun 13, 2019 07:48
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GamesAreSupernice posted:do they die They just cry.
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Jun 13, 2019 20:04
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Jun 16, 2019 21:31
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| # ? May 8, 2024 10:00 |
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"Paying off his debt to society, Trump the Highwayman!"
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Jun 17, 2019 14:46
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