OK, so I've got some problems with our universe.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > OK, so I've got some problems with our universe.

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

There are a bunch of universes, right? For instance, if ghosts are real, how come we live in the universe where ghosts are real, but Ghostbusters are fictional? Who you gonna call? loving nobody, that's who. How come we live in a universe where soap can get dirty and moisturizer dries out? That should be impossible! How come our universe has James Bond-type villains and yet no James Bond? Nobody will save us from Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos when they eventually control the weather and hold the world for ransom.

# ? Jun 11, 2019 00:28

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# ? May 5, 2024 14:53

Thunder Moose: S.J.C.

And what the heck is up with Canadians?

Politely hording maple syrup, dolling it out at a premium to the rest of us peasants...

# ? Jun 11, 2019 01:19

lol but: body is a dinosaur

entropy is hosed because all my efforts are ultimately in vain and also the house will simply not stay tidy by diktat of the fukken laws of physics it is some bullshit

# ? Jun 11, 2019 01:22

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

how come in this universe the packaged hot dogs come in one amount and the buns in a totally different amount?

# ? Jun 11, 2019 01:22

lol but: body is a dinosaur

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

how come in this universe the packaged hot dogs come in one amount and the buns in a totally different amount?

if you are not double dogging then it is not the universe that is loving up

# ? Jun 11, 2019 01:23

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

lol but posted:

if you are not double dogging then it is not the universe that is loving up

I'll double dog yer nan, m8! also, one package of hot dogs is a perfectly reasonable amount of hot dogs

# ? Jun 11, 2019 01:28

lol but: body is a dinosaur

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

I'll double dog yer nan, m8! also, one package of hot dogs is a perfectly reasonable amount of hot dogs

i am not saying it is not i am saying two dogs one bun is the correct ratio

# ? Jun 11, 2019 01:31

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

lol but posted:

i am not saying it is not i am saying two dogs one bun is the correct ratio

that's still not even close to the correct number of buns to hot dogs.

# ? Jun 11, 2019 01:39

lol but: body is a dinosaur

what about tearing off a half bun and fully ensconcing yer double dog? i have not run the numbers

# ? Jun 11, 2019 01:42

Manifisto

we live in a universe with celery. think about it: celery. ugh. celery salt is good, but only because it involves the death of large amounts of celery.

# ? Jun 11, 2019 01:44

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

There are a bunch of universes, right? For instance, if ghosts are real, how come we live in the universe where ghosts are real, but Ghostbusters are fictional? Who you gonna call? loving nobody, that's who�you, and me?![3]

There is also an argument to be made that Ghostbusters is, in fact, the story of a real person being killed, after being taken outside of his universe. However, the argument is largely flawed, as was the "ghost" argument of the first movie.

The "Ghost" argument holds

The first Ghostbusters film has been criticized, in the comment section of the popular video games YouTube channel: It's the Ghostbusters who take an ordinary, ordinary man and put him on a super-intelligent alien robot to fight it out in outer space, or what ever it's you call it. It does go on about this man going through a series of physical and psychological experiences and what do the real events and events in the movie do to him? That's how he ended up at the bottom of the ocean.

This argument is false, as was the argument that the film was actually about someone (Kesha) who had become a ghost by turning into one in order to fight him off. That's ridiculous, because you can't just take the real (or real-looking) person and turn

# ? Jun 11, 2019 01:56

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Manifisto posted:

we live in a universe with celery. think about it: celery. ugh. celery salt is good, but only because it involves the death of large amounts of celery.

celery is pretty good. maybe you're what wrong with the universe

# ? Jun 11, 2019 01:56

Macnult

pretty upset that i don�t exist in the universe where my dryer gives me extra socks

# ? Jun 11, 2019 02:08

Macnult

[listening to harsh noise]
man it sucks to be born in the wrong universe

# ? Jun 11, 2019 02:09

joke_explainer

why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? Some alternate universe is harmonious with these terms

# ? Jun 11, 2019 02:12

joke_explainer

In an alternate universe, airline food has no deal

# ? Jun 11, 2019 02:13

Manifisto

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

celery is pretty good. maybe you're what wrong with the universe

holy loving poo poo people byob has been infiltrated by Big Celery

we all knew this day would come no matter how fervently we prayed, but still

# ? Jun 11, 2019 02:15

google THIS

(somewhere, on a forum in a universe where poor can be cured by sunlight and Fruit Stripe Gum lasts a full 24 hours)

Guys, I really wanna live in a universe where stepping on a Lego hurts like hell

# ? Jun 11, 2019 02:19

Manifisto

joke_explainer posted:

In an alternate universe, airline food has no deal

# ? Jun 11, 2019 02:24

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

"Day two in the alternate universe: cars are parked all along the parkway and driving at ridiculous speeds in driveways. This is impractical as it is dangerous and I miss home very much

# ? Jun 11, 2019 03:17

xcheopis

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

how come in this universe the packaged hot dogs come in one amount and the buns in a totally different amount?

Well...

# ? Jun 11, 2019 03:36

curse: heck

this universe is one of many simulations and at some point they uploaded the wrong data to the wrong servers and said gently caress it i'm not fixing that
they won't even give me the admin password

# ? Jun 11, 2019 09:57

take the moon: by sebmojo

Thunder Moose posted:

And what the heck is up with Canadians?

Politely hording maple syrup, dolling it out at a premium to the rest of us peasants...

we also drink wack brews

# ? Jun 11, 2019 15:06

take the moon: by sebmojo

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

"Day two in the alternate universe: cars are parked all along the parkway and driving at ridiculous speeds in driveways. This is impractical as it is dangerous and I miss home very much

haha

# ? Jun 11, 2019 15:07

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

I wanna talk about speed limits for a moment.

Specifically, the speed of light. I mean, why is the universe so picky about how fast we can go? If we get close to the speed of light, space and time dilate, like the universe is saying "no! you can't do that! It's too fast!"

I guess what I'm saying is gently caress the speed police.

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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# ? Jun 11, 2019 16:00

Goons Are Gifts

While I agree that the speed police is too strict there, I want to point out that if they would let us go faster, light wouldn't have a problem when it comes too close to a black hole. This gives them an unfair advantage and I want every photon here to sign my petition to change this barbaric industry.

# ? Jun 11, 2019 16:14

Goons Are Gifts

Also, what's the deal with atoms? I know, they want to be apart from each other, but jesus, fusing together to accomplish something without reaching 300 million Kelvin shouldn't be off limits. The star union exploits this to have a monopoly on nuclear fusion and this is unacceptable.

# ? Jun 11, 2019 16:15

Stoner Sloth

curse posted:

this universe

We're sorry to hear that you're experiencing difficulties with the universe, have you tried turning it off and on again sir/madam?

sigs by the awesome Manifisto, Vanisher, City of Glompton, Pot Smoke Phoenix, Nut, Heather Papps,Prof Crocodile, knuthgrush, Ohtori Akio, Teapot, Saosyhant, Dumb Sex Parrot, w4ddl3d33, and nesamdoom!! - ty friends!

# ? Jun 11, 2019 16:30

Farecoal: There he go

Trigonometry would be much easier if π equaled 3 exactly, I've contacted the developers about this issue but haven't heard back

# ? Jun 11, 2019 16:43

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Making clothing out of the fabric of space-time and dimension hopping through black holes of my own conjuring

# ? Jun 11, 2019 20:13

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Splatmaster posted:

Making clothing out of the fabric of space-time and dimension hopping through black holes of my own conjuring

measurable areas devoid of matter is the new black

# ? Jun 11, 2019 22:25

Thekittymancer

I can't take the universe seriously when loving Belgium exists. why hast the universe placed such a scourge upon us such as Belgium, what have we done to deserve it.

gently caress you belgium and gently caress the belsh.

# ? Jul 12, 2019 23:04