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While I am upset those men stole my car and killed my dog, neither of those crimes is worth spilling blood over.
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Jul 25, 2019 06:51
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Leaving a voicemail with my therapist and sitting down for a big bowl of Cheddar GoblinTM macaroni and cheese
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Jul 25, 2019 06:53
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Ah this alien spaceship seems to be rolling towards me, I will simply run perpendicular to its path
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Jul 25, 2019 13:39
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I think it would be best if we went our separate ways but out of respect I will try on those sunglasses
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Jul 25, 2019 17:00
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Even though I was unaware that woman is a trans woman when I kissed her, it's not really a big deal at all to me.
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Jul 25, 2019 18:22
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*deals with a breakup in a healthy manner*
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Jul 25, 2019 18:22
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i get that you're just delivering news as you were told but dude at least apologize for all those drat king skulls you dropped everywhere
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Jul 25, 2019 22:37
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Literally shaeking, whispering "this is Sparta" as the Persian envoy rides away
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Jul 25, 2019 22:44
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After watching a man's abdomen open like a giant pair of jaws and bite another man's arms off, then watching his head disgorge from the neck, grow legs and eye stalks, and scuttle away: you gotta be fuckin kidding
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Jul 26, 2019 03:28
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shaking my head, counting to ten, and calmly asking about the box one more time
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Jul 26, 2019 03:50
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Macnult posted:shaking my head, counting to ten, and calmly asking about the box one more time lol
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Jul 26, 2019 04:36
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"what do you mean everyone?" "everyone"
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Jul 26, 2019 06:19
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I'm from Buenos Aires and I say the circumstances of this supposed attack are very suspicious Google Loose Credits!
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Jul 26, 2019 23:19
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You being my father makes a lot of sense, actually
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Jul 29, 2019 01:42
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r/legaladvice · 16h · u/mbrew16 · Weird conditions specified in uncle's will; legal options?
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Jul 30, 2019 18:11
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Where we're going, do we need eyes to see? Maybe not. Would I prefer to keep my eyes anyway? Almost definitely so.
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Jul 31, 2019 00:19
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Jenny Agutter posted:After watching a man's abdomen open like a giant pair of jaws and bite another man's arms off, then watching his head disgorge from the neck, grow legs and eye stalks, and scuttle away: you gotta be fuckin kidding "Hey, guys, what's up with Vance's head over there? I know, right?"
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Jul 31, 2019 10:27
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I walk into a Whammyburger two minutes after they stopped serving breakfast and try to order breakfast.
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Aug 31, 2019 21:43
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Ah well at least it's not 8 sisters belittling my masculinity
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Sep 1, 2019 02:22
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casually swimming to shore after the ship i'm on capsizes during it's maiden journey
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Sep 1, 2019 02:22
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Attempting to explain my trip to mars is for two weeks.
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Sep 1, 2019 07:40
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What do you mean "our friendly bartender"?
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Sep 1, 2019 12:15
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I know all my friends who are also probably the closest thing I had to a loving family were all betrayed by our leader in exchange for godlike power and both myself and the woman I love have both been branded and are now constantly hunted by evil spirits and monsters, but I probably should take the time to process my grief and help her recover from the trauma instead of setting off to get revenge.
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Sep 2, 2019 03:50
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Jenny Agutter posted:While I am upset those men stole my car and killed my dog, neither of those crimes is worth spilling blood over. Incorrect.
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Sep 5, 2019 14:44
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I sigh deeply and then I say in a very monotone way, "Lisa you're tearing me apart".
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Sep 6, 2019 00:44
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I find out life is a simulation, I just ignore all these weird mall goth people that keep telling me I am The One. Why would I give up my dental insurance and 401k?
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Nov 7, 2019 07:46
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Oh, you don't want to put on my sunglasses? That's cool, see you at the gym tomorrow!
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Nov 7, 2019 12:55
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A 7 ft tall dude in a robe tried to take that ring my uncle keeps talking to. I should just let him know that all he needs to do is ask politely, it's just a ring after all.
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Nov 11, 2019 19:28
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"Would you please step away from her, your highness?"
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Nov 21, 2019 10:51
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lol
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Apr 25, 2023 16:21
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i would simply close the lament configuration the same way i opened it. cenobite? ceno-bye bye
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Apr 25, 2023 16:22
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all i have to do is win this chess game to vanquish death? simple. mate in three.
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Apr 25, 2023 16:26
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Lung cancer, doc? Okay, can we talk about what treatment options are covered by my health insurance?
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Apr 25, 2023 16:33
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i respect that we have grown apart as people and i'll simply file for a divorce in the morning. i wish you well....nicole, this current outburst is beneath both of us
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Apr 25, 2023 16:34
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Fungah! posted:i would simply close the lament configuration the same way i opened it. cenobite? ceno-bye bye
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Apr 25, 2023 21:49
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I'm angry that you just said you killed my girlfriend, but we've nearly got the Infinity Gauntlet off your hand so I'll wait a minute before reacting
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Apr 26, 2023 12:48
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Castle Dracula is dangerous you say? A vampire you say?! Thank you for the warning friend, I'll head back home immediately.
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Apr 26, 2023 13:35
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*walking behind the Winkie's on Sunset Blvd. and the horrifying man controlling my dreams slides into view* Uh, hello, it's daytime? You're not scary if the sun's out. Begone
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Apr 27, 2023 01:00
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Fungah! posted:i would simply close the lament configuration the same way i opened it. cenobite? ceno-bye bye
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Apr 27, 2023 15:57
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Just scoffing and rolling my eyes when Biff calls me chicken.
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Apr 27, 2023 16:19
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