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The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > weirdest possible shit your ex did
 
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PHIZ KALIFA

#mood
- grew a salvadore dali mustache and instead of speaking just twisted the stache into cursive words. which i had to read thru an app, that i programmed myself, on account of im millenial
- wanted anal except in my armpit? somehow?
- i spent a few months wandering inside one dude who turned out to just be the Forest Temple from Ocarina of Time: Master Quest.
- for a while i lived with a widower in the house he shared with his recently departed wife, his whole thing was that i had to make him dress up in his wife's clothes and we could only make love in absolute silence, in candlelight.
- enjoyed chutney

* # ¿ Aug 9, 2019 04:40
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# ¿ May 18, 2024 05:09
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PHIZ KALIFA

#mood

magic cactus posted:

had a portal to the underworld between her legs.

get this Our Bodies Ourselves poo poo out of here, every woman GOT A HUGE BOOTY you just gotta ignore it.

crimes

* # ¿ Aug 9, 2019 05:33
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PHIZ KALIFA

#mood

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

Me and my ex watching The One starring Jet Li. It is the scene where evil Jet Li is about to be executed for killing countless other Jet Li (the plural for Jet Li is Jet Li not Jet Lis). In the scene a tall model lady walks in and releases a small mouse from a compartment in one of her heels, the mouse then wanders up to the glass and you can hear the music rising in tension, a guard reaches towards the mouse and the woman activated a red thing on her ring, the mouse explodes and you hear OOOOH WA AH AH AH it's Down With the Sickness by Disturbed synced up to the mouse exploding and Jet Li is freed and starts beating people up.

This is one of the best scenes in all of film history rivaling the thumbs up in Terminator 2 or Eddie Murphy farting several times in The Nutty Professor.

But my ex she turn to me and say "That was so dumb."

Goons needless to say my hands turned white from how hard I was clenching my fists in anger I had to do everything in my power to restrain my anger and not open up my hate and let it flow into me and get down with the sickness by telling her off!!

I was single within two minutes since I was having trouble dealing with these changes when she opened up the demon within me. Unbelievable

holy loving shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

crimes

* # ¿ Aug 9, 2019 15:21
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PHIZ KALIFA

#mood
-was a perfect tauroid of irridescent wings

just couldnt live up to that.

crimes

* # ¿ Aug 9, 2019 15:38
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PHIZ KALIFA

#mood

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

Married some other guy. Now I'm just his wife's boyfriend.

p-p-pleased to m-m-meet you!

crimes

* # ¿ Aug 9, 2019 16:52
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# ¿ May 18, 2024 05:09
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PHIZ KALIFA

#mood
instead of a manic pixie dream girl she reacted calmly and rationally to all of the awful awful poo poo i put her through. and dumped me, unceremoniously, into a dumpster.

crimes

* # ¿ Aug 9, 2019 17:46
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > weirdest possible shit your ex did