|
Week One has come and gone for our precocious teams. After 60 minutes of gameplay it's safe to say we have a clear picture of how the season is going to end up. I've established the run with the numbers and fed them through a scantron machine designed to weed out the weak takes and this is what I've come up with for the 2019 season. These aren't assumptions. This thread is for exact outcomes based on the purest forms of football science. - Tom Brady wins his 7th ring and gives his eldest son mononucleosis - The Steelers lose their first six games. The Pittsburgh Bureau of Police soon find a missing evidence locker labelled "B. R. Sex Crimes" - Cleveland Browns posters' sense of irony/self-deprecation becomes self aware and is eventually hired as the head coach halfway through the season - The Cincinnati Bengals continue their tradition of being a National Football team
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2019 16:27
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 6, 2024 07:27 |
|
|
I hope TJ Hockenson enjoys life post football after he retires in his prime because he cant stand playing in Detriot
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2019 16:31
|
|
|
Miami disbands, team relocates to Bismarck
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2019 16:49
|
|
|
Bruce "The QB Whisperer" Arians cannot even help Jameis "The Walking Turnover" Winston.Tiny Tubesteak Tom posted:Miami disbands, team relocates to Bismarck Hell yeah, I'd buy season tickets.
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2019 17:14
|
|
|
Every player in the NFL will hold out to be on the Patriots, and Robert Kraft (he of the day spa rimjob) will convince Donald Trump to institute martial law and push through a law expanding the Patriots roster to 1,000. The NFL season will be scrimmages between different Patriots squads, and they will play against themselves in the Super Bowl, winning the next 20 straight until society collapses and the Bill Belichik and his Patriots army become the new de facto rulers of the broken, postapocalyptic united states
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2019 19:08
|
|
|
Play posted:Every player in the NFL will hold out to be on the Patriots, and Robert Kraft (he of the day spa rimjob) will convince Donald Trump to institute martial law and push through a law expanding the Patriots roster to 1,000. The NFL season will be scrimmages between different Patriots squads, and they will play against themselves in the Super Bowl, winning the next 20 straight until society collapses and the Bill Belichik and his Patriots army become the new de facto rulers of the broken, postapocalyptic united states
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2019 19:21
|
|
|
The Lions continue to be cutting edge leaders in the field of losing innovation, helpfully putting to rest any questions as to their competence as a team in the NFL
|
|
#
?
Sep 10, 2019 16:10
|
|
|
Seattle bamboozles everyone with their obfuscation run establishment rhetoric and Wilson puts up a Brees-esque record passing season.
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2019 23:01
|
|
|
Marcus mariota is listed as questionable with a hamstring injury.
|
|
#
?
Sep 13, 2019 01:01
|
|
|
Mitch is doo doo rear end
|
|
#
?
Sep 13, 2019 03:04
|
|
|
Deshaun Watson will absolutely miss multiple games due to injury.
|
|
#
?
Sep 13, 2019 03:39
|
|
|
is Mitch Trubisky an NFL-Caliber QB no
|
|
#
?
Sep 13, 2019 03:52
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 6, 2024 07:27 |
|
|
Bill Belichick will indeed keep getting away with it.
|
|
#
?
Sep 13, 2019 19:29
|
|
