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Last week, on 1KYOB...
Notes to players The Big Dick Nick Number (BDN) has now been renamed to the God drat It Not Again What Are You Doing NFC How Could You Let This Happen So Many Times Number, or GDI for short. This is in line with 1KYOB tradition of recognizing (however regretfully) the current Super Bowl champions in the naming of the MNF number.  A terrible sight to behold... Make sure you use GDI instead of BDN in your entries. Entry formatting rules will be strictly applied. Entries should be formatted as per the below: DEN - Peyton Manning - Passing Yards MIN - Adrian Peterson - Rushing Yards DET - Calvin Johnson - Receiving Yards GDI#: PHI - Carson Wentz - Passing Yards (this is your GDI number) If I find a problem with any entries I'll reply with the entry quoted and what was wrong with it. Entries can be corrected either by editing the original post before any players in the entry start their game, or by replying with an updated entry. If you edit the entry in-place, reply to the thread to let me know. Any entries with invalid formatting that haven't been corrected before the first player listed starts their game will have all regular players replaced with Meat Starlord and the GDI# replaced with Sandwich Montoya, all with random team and yardage types. May the Levenshtein distance be ever in your favour... Scores and Standings Final scores from last week and overall standings so far are below. pre:Player Total Yards Ranking Points Bonus Total Points Notes -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Deceptive 995 1 29 0 29 Grittybeard 950 2 28 0 28 Bjork Bjowlob 938 3 27 0 27 OxySnake 933 4 26 0 26 the mean lunch lady 907 5 25 0 25 Satisfaction Guaranteed 904 6 24 0 24 Chichevache 894 7 23 0 23 Benne 892 8 22 0 22 fishing with the fam 890 9 21 0 21 bobjr 872 10 20 0 20 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Arnold Layne 858 11 19 0 19 BlindSite 853 12 18 0 18 von Metternich 850 13 17 0 17 Strobe 840 14 16 0 16 Acebuckeye13 833 15 15 0 15 Play 763 16 14 0 14 Leperflesh 739 17 13 0 13 Elephanthead 667 18 12 0 12 a new study bible! 641 19 11 0 11 totally losing my mime 605 20 10 0 10 Shadow225 479 21 9 0 9 seiferguy 1026 22 8 0 8 Tiny Tubesteak Tom 1033 23 7 0 7 WaffleZombie 1062 24 6 0 6 Blowjob Overtime 1081 25 5 0 5 No Butt Stuff 1089 26 4 0 4 korrandark 1092 27 3 0 3 Nystral 1149 28 2 0 2 Okibi 1221 29 1 0 1 pre:Player Overall Rank | Wk1 ---------------------------------------------- Deceptive 29 1 | 29 Grittybeard 28 2 | 28 Bjork Bjowlob 27 3 | 27 OxySnake 26 4 | 26 the mean lunch lady 25 5 | 25 Satisfaction Guaranteed 24 6 | 24 Chichevache 23 7 | 23 Benne 22 8 | 22 fishing with the fam 21 9 | 21 bobjr 20 10 | 20 Arnold Layne 19 11 | 19 BlindSite 18 12 | 18 von Metternich 17 13 | 17 Strobe 16 14 | 16 Acebuckeye13 15 15 | 15 Play 14 16 | 14 Leperflesh 13 17 | 13 Elephanthead 12 18 | 12 a new study bible! 11 19 | 11 totally losing my mime 10 20 | 10 Shadow225 9 21 | 9 seiferguy 8 22 | 8 Tiny Tubesteak Tom 7 23 | 7 WaffleZombie 6 24 | 6 Blowjob Overtime 5 25 | 5 No Butt Stuff 4 26 | 4 korrandark 3 27 | 3 -----Cutoff for Playoffs---------------------- Nystral 2 28 | 2 Okibi 1 29 | 1 Thurs: TB @ CAR Sun Early: ARI @ BAL DAL @ WAS IND @ TEN SEA @ PIT BUF @ NYG SF @ CIN LAC @ DET MIN @ GB JAX @ HOU NE @ MIA Sun Late: KC @ OAK NO @ LAR CHI @ DEN Sun Night: PHI @ ATL Mon: CLE @ NYJ ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do I play 1000 Yards or Bust? See this thread! Tokens! Tokens are back again this year. What's a token you ask? Good question: Because 1KYOB is inherently a game about selecting offensive players, tokens were originally created to celebrate the superlative defenders of the NFL as well as introduce another strategic element to the game. The tokens apply to your GDI Number player and only your GDI Number player, but you can't cheat and edit them in if you're heading into Monday about to bust: if you haven't declared you're using a token before the first player on your list starts, you're SOL. Each token can only be used once per season unless otherwise noted. To play a token please copy and paste the image as well as the name of the token after your GDI Number. This year there are seven tokens, split into three different categories - Normal, Supplement, and Special. You can only use a max of one token per week from each category. NORMAL TOKENS THE MACK TOKEN  A running back's worst nightmare is to make a cut towards an inviting gap only to see Khalil Mack suddenly appear, arms wide in welcome embrace. Particularly so when Mack has crossed half the country and a whole conference to unexpectedly crush this naive NFC North rusher twice a season. You may play the Mack Token when your GDI Number is a Running Back. If your GDI Number would bust your score, this token will zero out their score! Can only be used once per season unless refreshed or in certain circumstances, see later. THE HAYWARD TOKEN  Casey Hayward is one of the premier CBs in the league, and after he has assimilated the life force of the rest of the Chargers' defense a la Jet Li in The One he will become unstoppable. You may play the Hayward Token when your GDI Number is a Wide Receiver or a Tight End. If your GDI Number would bust your score, this token will zero out their score! Can only be used once per season unless refreshed or in certain circumstances, see later. THE GHOST OF SAN DIEGO PAST TOKEN  Prior to his untimely death, Joey Bosa terrorized offensive lines and QBs coming off the edge. Becoming phantasmal can only improve his game, turning him from 'difficult to block' to 'impossible to handle unless you know five kids and a dog with a van'. You may play the Ghost of San Diego Past Token when your GDI Number is a Quarterback. If your GDI Number would bust your score, this token will convert your QB entry to use Rushing instead of Passing yards, as the QB can think of nothing but fleeing for his life. If you are already using Rushing yards for your QB entry, this token will zero out their score as the QB remains rooted to the spot in fear. Can only be used once per season unless refreshed or in certain circumstances, see later. SUPPLEMENT TOKENS THE MERCURIAL GENIUS TOKEN  Note: see the bottom of this post for clarifications on this token. Marcus Peters is an extremely talented CB who is prone to, uh, 'shifts' in mood that can affect his performance. One week he will smother a #1 wideout so thoroughly that the receiver forgets his own name, the next he's launching flags into the crowd and himself out of the stadium. You may play the Mercurial Genius token alongside any of the above Normal tokens - it cannot be played by itself. The Normal token acts normally, and if you need it to avoid busting (or if you bust regardless), it will be consumed. However if you do not need the token to avoid busting, the Mercurial Genius token will return the Normal token back to you to be used again in a following week (i.e. it will refresh the token). The Mercurial Genius token itself can be played any number of times during the season, unless... ...your GDI Number blows up and exceeds the relevant yardage limit (Rushing: 100, Receiving: 100, Passing: 400). Then the Genius will get himself ejected for the rest of the season and your GDI Number will have a record game! Specifically, their yardage total will be set to the relevant all-time single-game record below: Rushing: 296 yards (Adrian Peterson, Vikings vs San Diego, 2007) Receiving: 336 yards (Willie 'Flipper' Anderson, Rams vs Saints, 1989) Passing: 554 yards (Norm van Brocklin, Rams vs NY Yanks, 1951) If this happens and you still don't bust (what kind of strange list are you running?!?) then the Normal token will still be returned. The Mercurial Genius token is always consumed after the Genius is ejected. SPECIAL TOKENS THE MONSTER COJONES TOKEN  A reminder of the most balls-out playcall I've seen in a Superbowl, and - as a Jets fan - a delightful way for the Patriots to be humbled on the biggest stage in American football. I'd like to take this opportunity to bring up that the Patriots also tried a similar play in the same game, showing us that sometimes it is ok to count out Touchdown Tom. If you declare the Monster Cojones token during a given week, it gets you 50 bonus points for a top 10 score and 100 bonus points for the best score of the week, but if you finish outside the top 10 you get zero, so you better catch that pass! In addition, you can use the Monster Cojones token as much as you want if you keep getting the bonus, but if you use the Monster Cojones token and fail to make the top 10, you can't use it again for the entire rest of the season unless you hit a perfect thousand. Not for the faint at heart! Have fun! Maybe it's time to hang em up, buddy Players who've used a Cojones and failed to make the top 10  pre:No-one yet Players who've had their Genius ejected  pre:No-one yet I'll try to collate any token clarifications I make during each thread in this area. Clarification 1: The Genius Token The Genius token will return the Normal token if you don't need the Normal token to avoid busting. If you do need it (or bust anyway) the Normal token is consumed and not returned. The Genius token itself is always returned unless it gets ejected ie your GDI number exceeds the yardage limit. For example: Pre-Monday yardage total: 920 If Brate goes for 70: no bust, both Hayward and Genius tokens returned If Brate goes for 100: Hayward token activated, Brate yardage becomes zero, Hayward token not returned, Genius token returned If Brate goes for 120: Genius ejected, Brate yardage becomes 336, total yardage 1256, bust, Hayward token not returned, Genius token not returned Pre-Monday yardage total: 600 Brate goes for 70: no bust or ejection, both tokens returned Brate goes for 120: Genius ejected, Brate yardage becomes 336, total yardage 936, no bust, Hayward token returned, Genius token not returned Clarification 2: Tiebreakers Ties are broken as follows:
Clarification 3: Using the same player more than once You can use the same player more than once but you cannot use the same combination of player and yardage type more than once. So - to use Nick Foles as an example - you can list Nick Foles three times in one entry (for Passing, Rushing and Receiving yards) but you cannot list Nick Foles - Passing more than once. If you use a player more than once they have to be listed on separate lines for each yardage type you want to use: pre:PHI - Nick Foles - Passing Yards PHI - Nick Foles - Rushing Yards Bjork Bjowlob fucked around with this message at 18:15 on Sep 12, 2019 |
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Sep 12, 2019 07:42
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 12:19 |
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After calling for more token action, I have to put my money where my mouth is: HOU - Deshaun Watson - Passing yards BUF - Josh Allen - Passing yards LAC - Philip Rivers - Passing yards GDI#: CLE - Nick Chubb - Rushing yards
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Sep 15, 2019 09:24
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HereticMIND posted:Too late to jump in? If no, then my entries are below. If yes, ignore this post. Not too late to jump in - however your GDI number needs to be someone who is playing on MNF (e.g. either from the Jets or the Browns this week). Since it's your first offence I'll change your GDI to Sandwich Montoya from the Jets with Receiving as the yardage. Future entries will be discarded if they don't have a valid GDI number.
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Sep 16, 2019 20:39
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Monday night! Who else is willing to watch the slow-moving freeway pile-up that is the Jets take on the Browns on what must be the premier prime-time matchup of the season?pre:Baker Mayfield - Passing | Yards Remaining -------------------------------------------------- Satisfaction Guaranteed | 223 von Metternich | 255 bobjr | 276 totally losing my mime | 305 Acebuckeye13 | 343 Tiny Tubesteak Tom | 346 Shadow225 | 347 No Butt Stuff | 359 Leperflesh | 468 OxySnake | 483 Elephanthead | 727 Chichevache | 742 David Njoku - Receiving | Yards Remaining -------------------------------------------------- Arnold Layne | 453 Jarvis Landry - Receiving | Yards Remaining -------------------------------------------------- Grittybeard | -22 BlindSite | 79 Le'Veon Bell - Rushing | Yards Remaining -------------------------------------------------- Nystral | 255 Nick Chubb - Rushing | Yards Remaining -------------------------------------------------- Play | -110 korrandark | 77 Bjork Bjowlob | 295 Blowjob Overtime | 320 a new study bible! | 453 Okibi | 546 Odell Beckham JR. - Receiving | Yards Remaining -------------------------------------------------- Deceptive | 206 Strobe | 378 Odell Beckham Jr - Receiving | Yards Remaining -------------------------------------------------- seiferguy | 143 fishing with the fam | 159 Sandwich Montoya - Receiving | Yards Remaining -------------------------------------------------- HereticMIND | 377 Trevor Siemian - Passing | Yards Remaining -------------------------------------------------- the mean lunch lady | 357 Trevor Siemien - Passing | Yards Remaining -------------------------------------------------- WaffleZombie | 439
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Sep 16, 2019 20:46
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Good lord the Jets stink. Results for the week:pre:Player Total Yards Ranking Points Bonus Total Points Notes -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- korrandark 985 1 29 0 29 Acebuckeye13 982 2 28 0 28 Tiny Tubesteak Tom 979 3 27 0 27 Shadow225 978 4 26 0 26 No Butt Stuff 966 5 25 0 25 Deceptive 955 6 24 0 24 BlindSite 953 7 23 0 23 Leperflesh 857 8 22 0 22 OxySnake 842 9 21 0 21 Nystral 813 10 20 0 20 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Strobe 783 11 19 0 19 Bjork Bjowlob 767 12 18 0 18 Blowjob Overtime 742 13 17 0 17 the mean lunch lady 646 14 16 0 16 HereticMIND 623 15 15 0 15 a new study bible! 609 16 14 0 14 Elephanthead 598 17 13 0 13 Chichevache 583 18 12 0 12 WaffleZombie 564 19 11 0 11 Arnold Layne 547 20 10 0 10 Okibi 516 21 9 0 9 fishing with the fam 1002 22 8 0 8 seiferguy 1018 23 7 0 7 totally losing my mime 1020 24 6 0 6 bobjr 1049 25 5 0 5 Grittybeard 1054 26 4 0 4 von Metternich 1070 27 3 0 3 Satisfaction Guaranteed 1102 28 2 0 2 Play 1110 29 1 0 1 Activated Mack token
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Sep 17, 2019 21:10
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Strobe posted:Are Odell Beckham Jr and Odell Beckham Jr. two different people according to the scrpit? What's the 'correct' way to indicate a suffix on a player's name? The summary script uses the name as given in the entry, rather than the name of the player that the entry name maps to using fuzzy string matching. So Odell Beckham Jr and Odell Beckham JR. will show as different players in the MNF summary but for the purposes of figuring out yardage will map to the same player. I'll probably fix that in the next week. No Butt Stuff posted:lol. which one is wrong? Trevor Siemian is the correct spelling but both names will map to the same player, similar to the above case. fishing with the fam posted:GOD DAMMIT ODELL! So close! 1KYOB with the heartbreak early in the season
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Sep 17, 2019 21:15
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Nystral posted:Who did Sandwich Montoya map too? This handsome gentleman:  who unsurprisingly gained 0 receiving yards (but at least wasn't a shitshow of a kicker)
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Sep 19, 2019 20:31
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 12:19 |
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HereticMIND posted:So when's the next thread going up? Right now!
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Sep 19, 2019 21:00
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