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 Soldier of Fortune Magazine Presents: THE CULT CRUSHERS    CAST (in order of appearance): 1) Courtney Davenport – co-owner or DAVROCK Development/ Unquestioned theocratic co-ruler of Tulsa. Junior senator from Oklahoma. 2) Gypsy Joe Rockland – also co-owner or DAVROCK Development/ Unquestioned theocratic co-ruler of Tulsa. "The alcoholic, ex-convict son of a Negro father and Cherokee mother." Gets keen on Jesus while being tortured in a Korean POW camp. 3) Steve Lancaster – U.S commercial attache to the Republic of Paraguay; Paul’s dad. Thinks his son is a zealot. 4) Captain Angel Caro – US Army Special Forces, adviser to the Paraguayan Army. Seducer of Susan Rockland. 5) Carlos Von Reinach – Son of a nazi. Inherited a bunch of land in Paraguay. Cult leader of "Holy Order." Cocaine smuggler. 6) Francisco Lopez Estigabarra – "Prophet of Paraguay." Hermano mayor of the Holy Garduna. Uncle of Julio Estigarriba, and also Carlos Von Reinach. 7) Olivia Davenport – Courtney Davenport’s daughter. Cult enthusiast. 8) Susan Rockland – Gypsy Joe’s daughter. Follower. Somehow 100% Cherokee even though her dad is only 50%. Easy lover. 9) Hermann Von Reinach – ex-Nazi, Carlos’ father. 10) Lieutenant Colonel Jose Felix Estigabarra – 11) Maria Ynsfran, daughter of 11.5) Colonel Felix Ynsfran – Hermann Von Reinach’s wife; Carlos’ mother. 12) Andrea Macranskia – Hungarian psychologist who rebelled against her commie upbringing after a year at the Soviet Sverdlosk Institute. Marked for death by the KGB and their coke-addled cultist henchmen. 13) Nicholas Portumo – Royal Marine. SAS. Now a freelance military strongman with a hatred of cults. [Father born in Cyprus and given British citizenship after fighting against Franco in the Spanish Civil War (even though based on his beliefs it seems like he would have worshiped Franco.)] 14) John, the acne-plagued cultist assassin – Attempts to assassinate Andrea. 15) Rodney Crampton – Slimy, effeminate, long-haired ACLU (ACRA) lawyer who wrongly believes people should have equal rights under the law. 16) Dr. Martin Weishaupt – KGB agent working for the Sverdlosk Institute. Gets a young cultist to attempt to kill Andrea Macranskia while hopped up on fast-acting cocaine pills. 17) Randy Spivak – 18) Julio Barrajas – Nephew of Francisco. Cult leader and serial rapist. Destroys Olivia Davenport's sanity through sexual assault. 19) "Faith" - 20) Brian - 21) Frank - 22) Paul W. Lancaster - sales representative for DAVROCK Development Corporation, mercenary recruiter, occasional murderer. 23) Mike "Puerter" “Bigfoot” Detlefs - former South African race-warrior. Apartheid enthusiast. Hates the UN. 24) Eli Shem Revvim - former Mossad mercenary. Hates the UN. 25) Paul Redecker - former West German Grenzschutzgruppe sergeant. Hates the UN. 26) Jean Trucdeau - former French Foreign Legion paratrooper. Hates the UN. 27) Senor Caro (no first name given) – Raul and Angel’s father 28) Raul Caro – former US Army Blue Lights counter-terrorist soldier from Puerto Rico. Hates the UN. 29) Ha Bai Sun – Cult leader in LA. 30) Mark, the lazy cultist - Cultist who gets 10 lashes for disobedience 31) Dr. Heinz Schutzler – Evil doctor, but not as evil as his co-worker Dr. Hilda. 32) Dr. Hilda Von Ziegazar – Evil lesbian doctor. 33) Scott Rasmussen - Head Geologist at DAVROCK 34) Fazzio – Lab technician at DAVROCK 35) Patty Benson (aka the demon Surbatai) - Daughter of Secretary or State Roger Benson. 420 friendly. Answer to the name of her demon overlord, Surbatai 36) Aaron - 37) Saul - 38) Elaine Kearney - 39) Bob Talbot – Elaine’s assistant. 40) Emil Gunter – Weishaupt’s assistant, defects from KGB/ Sverdlosk Institute. 41) Lottie Gunter – Emil’s wife. 42) Karl Gunter – Emil and Lottie’s son. 43) Erika Gunter – Emil and Lottie’s daughter. 44) Patches Jackson – rural Virginia oyster pirate who sees evidence of smuggling on Bouchegrave estate. 45) Phil Jackson – Patches’ brother 46) Senator Calvin Bouchegrave – Liberal Senior Senator from Virginia, cocaine smuggler and lover of cults. 47) Crandall Donovan – Investigator working for Davenport, searching for Olivia and Susan. 48) Unnamed stereotypical southern sheriff – not-so-secretly working for Senator Bouchegrave; 49.5) Unnamed stereotypical southern deputy – blows up Patches’ & Phil’s truck 49) Shirl Tucker - Research intern at Davenport-Rockland University. Researcher on Senate Subcommittee on Cults. Crandall Donovan’s contact at DAVROCK. 50) Cliff Walters – Rhodesian mercenary 51) Stan O'Connell – Australian mercenary 52) Unnamed guard kidnapped from Bouchegrave estate 53) Peter Chomsky (codename: Faith) - 54) Sylvia Froenze (codename: Hope) - 55) U.S. Secretary of State Roger Benson - 56) Dr. Benito Salazar – Political Science Professor at National University in Asuncion. Guerrilla leader of Christian Action Movement; eventual President-for-Life or Paraguay after General Ayala is killed by piranhas. 57) Cathy – Gypsy Joe’s secretary 58) Paraguayan Brigadier General Ramon Torrejos - Brother in Law of General Ayala 59) Paraguayan President-for-Life General Ayala – killed at wedding by piranhas 60) Captain Rodriguez - 61) Filippo Gaduti - Chief Warrant Officer in Paraguayan Army. Hijacks 9 helicopters to help Angel Caro. 62) Hermann Rathner - stalker working for Dr. Hilda. 63) Alfonso Vitali - guerrilla pilot. 64) Captain Luigi Palermo - 65) Major Hermano Busch - Cult Crushers Synopsis Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 1 The book begins by introducing Courtney Davenport and Gypsy Joe Rockland, co-owners of DAVROCK Development Corporation. DAVROCK funds Davenport-Rockland Ministries, and also owns a number of questionable Christian schools, including Davenport-Rockland University in Tulsa. The university features 10,000 seat evangelical center called The Cathedral of Light, and also runs runs an 800-foot, 150,000 watt radio transmitter called The Tower of Power, which broadcasts DAVROCK propaganda as far away as Paraguay. Gypsy Joe Rockland is described as an "alcoholic, ex-convict son of a Negro father and Cherokee mother." Captured as a POW by Chinese soldiers during the Korean War, he gets keen on Jesus after watching a fellow POW murdered by the commies for refusing to deny Mormon Jesus. Upon returning to the US, Gypsy Joe becomes an itinerant evangelical preacher. Courtney Davenport is also described as an alcoholic, but he too gets "born again" in 1952 after stumbling in to one of Gypsy Joe's tent revivals. The two become best friends and co-found DAVROCK Development Corporation in order to monetize their proselytizing. Their wives are killed in a plane crash while en route to a revival in Little Rock, Arkansas. Their two daughters rebel because of this. Courtney becomes one of the most powerful men in Tulsa, and eventually one of Oklahoma's senators. Meanwhile, Gypsy Joe focuses on preaching. Together, the two men hope to turn Tulsa into a conservative Christian city-state. Characters introduced in Chapter One: 1) Courtney Davenport 2) Gypsy Joe Rockland Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 2 Chapter Two: The chapter begins with Steve Lancaster, U.S commercial attache to the Republic of Paraguay, talking about the history and current state of the Paraguayan Navy with a U.S. military adviser, and a BBC correspondent (neither of named). Captain Angel Caro, a Puerto Rican member of the U.S. Army Special Forces (U.S. Army Latin American Command) forces himself into the conversation. Carlos Von Reinach is introduced. (He is the son of German military adviser to Paraguay during the Nazi years, Hermann Von Reinach, chief strategist of Lieutenant Colonel Jose Felix Estigabarra, Paraguay's national hero. Hermann was given 250,000 acres in Gran Chaco for his service. He marries Maria Ynsfran, the daughter of Guarani war hero Colonel Felix Ynsfran). Carlos runs into his uncle, Francisco Lopez Estigabarra, "Hermano Mayor; the Chief of Chiefs; the Great Brother of the Sacred Garduna, the Holy Warriors of Paraguay." The two men talk about the 180 donkeys loaded with cocaine set to arrive within the hour. Francisco then talks to a submarine commander delivering electronic oil exploration equipment from DAVROCK, as well as a shipment of new members for Carlos' & Francisco's cult. Among them are Courtney and Gypsy Joe's daughters, Olivia Davenport and Susan Rockland. Characters introduced in Chapter Two: 3) Steve Lancaster 4) Captain Angel Caro 5) Carlos Von Reinach 6) Francisco Lopez Estigabarra 7) Olivia Davenport 8) Susan Rockland New characters (all presumably dead) mentioned in stories from the past: 9) Hermann Von Reinach 10) Lieutenant Colonel Jose Felix Estigabarra 11) Maria Ynsfran 11.5) Colonel Felix Ynsfran Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 3 Chapter Three: Courtney arrives at Washington National Airport, which is teeming with evil cultists. He meets Andrea Macranskia and Nicholas Portumo. An acne-encrusted cultist takes cocaine pills (!) and attempts to assassinate Andrea with an "Oriental ceremonial hatchet," but is stopped by the quick action hero moves of Nick. Courtney is turgid. Rodney Crampton "Attorney-at-Law, American Civil Rights Association," rushes in to protect the would-be assassin. Dr. Martin Weishaupt skulks ominously in the shadows. Courtney, the junior Senator from Oklahoma, introduces Andrea to the Senate Sub-committee on Cults and Alternatives Societies. Andrea speaks at length about religious cults. Nick is introduced to the Senate sub-committee, and he too speaks at length about cults. Good times. Characters introduced in Chapter Three: 12) Andrea Macranskia 14) Nicholas Portumo John, the acne-plagued cultist assassin 15) Rodney Crampton 16) Dr. Martin Weishaupt Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 4 Chapter Four: Chapter four takes place on a bus heading to a commune in Paraguay. Through flashbacks we learn that Olivia Davenport gets lured into the Garden Children cult through Randy Spivak, an English teacher at Bryson Academy (part of the Davenport Christian School System) because he has the best cocaine. Susan Rockland goes along with Olivia because they are best friends. Spivak is a disciple of Julio Barrajas, prophet of the Garden Children cult. Characters introduced in Chapter Four: 17) Randy Spivak 18) Julio Barrajas Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 5 Chapter Five: Courtney picks up Andrea and Nick at the Tulsa airport. A commie spy posing as a Jew for Jesus (codename: Faith) calls Dr. Martin Westhaupt (codename: Charity) in godless New York City, and is told to follow them. Courtney takes Andrea and Nick to his ranch full of Paso Fino horses imported from Puerto Rico. This isn't important, but the author mentions it multiple times. The three get to talking and decide to create a death squad. Hooray! Characters introduced in Chapter Five: 19) "Faith" 20) Brian 21) Frank Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 6 Chapter Six: Chapter six begins with Captain Angel Caro inspecting the Guarani commandos he's been training. We get a quick and almost certainly inaccurate history lesson about the Guarani people and the evil Jesuits who once ruled Paraguay. A bus full of cultists arrives and Angel flirts with Susan Rockland. They secretly make plans to meet up, which they do. Susan and Angel make out like kids in a 70's summer camp. Characters introduced in Chapter Six: None Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 7 Chapter Seven: Chapter seven introduces Paul Lancaster of DAVROCK, on the prowl to pick up a team of hot mercenary death squad leaders. He enlists Mike "Puerter" Detlefs (aka "Bigfoot"), "former sergeant of the recently disbanded elite anti-terrorist strike force, the South African Reconnaissance Commandos." Meanwhile, Andrea stalks Eli Shem Revvim all the way to the Red Sea, and enlists him with scuba stealth. Nick enlists Paul Redecker and Jean Trucdeau. We meet Raul Caro and his dad, who own a horse ranch that sells to horses to Courtney Davenport. Characters introduced in Chapter Seven: 22) Paul W. Lancaster 23) Mike "Puerter" Detlefs 24) Eli Shem Revvim 25) Paul Redecker 26) Jean Trucdeau 27) Senor Caro (no first name given) 28) Raul Caro Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 8 Chapter Eight: Carlos Von Reinach and his uncle, Francisco Lopez Estigarribia, watch as two young cultists are fed to piranhas as punishment for the crime of sex with a partner who was not their eugenically chosen mate. Characters introduced in Chapter Eight: Two cultists who are immediately eaten by piranhas. Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 9 Chapter Nine: Chapter nine begins with Courtney arguing with his pal Gypsy Joe about the righteousness of sending death squads to murder cult members around the United States. Meanwhile, Paul Lancaster murders multitudes of San Francisco cult members with a spiffy briefcase that shoots poisonous needles. We are introduced to cult leader Ha Bai Sun. South African mercenary Mike "Bigfoot" or "Puerter" Detlets blows up Soldier Field in Chicago, killing cult leader Ha Bai Sun and his followers. Characters introduced in Chapter Nine: 29) Ha Bai Sun Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 10 Chapter Ten: The young cultists learn that being in a cult ain't all fun & games when they are forced to do farm work. We are introduced to Mark, a cultist who strikes a guard after being slapped for being lazy. The benevolent Francisco Lopez Estigarribia, Hermano Mayor of the Holy Garduna sentences Mark to ten lashes of the whip. Meanwhile, Carlos Von Reinach flies in an airplane towards Puerto Rico, pleasuring himself while reading white supremacist scripture. Arriving at Senor Caro's horse farm, Carlos Von Reinach and Courtney Davenport meet, size each other up, and like what they see. Their sexual tension is so thick and dense it threatens to implode the universe. Characters introduced in Chapter Ten: 30) Mark, the lazy cultist 31) Dr. Heinz Schutzler 32) Dr. Hilda Von Ziegazar Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 11 Chapter Eleven: Chapter 11 introduces us to Scott Rasmussen, head geologist and team chief (?) for DAVROCK fossil fuel exploration. He and his assistant, Fazzio, discover an ocean of oil underground. Meanwhile, Nick and Andrea are hanging around at an old farmhouse in the Arkansas Ozarks, which has become the deprogramming center for Countercult Two. They have disturbing sex in a beanbag chair. While those horrors are unfolding, Eli and his Countercult One commandos to attack a satanic marijuana growing operation in Mendocino County. After murdering a bunch of dogs and satanists, they kidnap five cultists, including Patricia Benson, daughter of Secretary of State Roger Benson. They are taken to the deprogramming center for Countercult One, run by Elaine Kearney and her assistant, Bob. Characters introduced in Chapter Eleven: 33) Scott Rasmussen 34) Fazzio 35) Patty Benson (aka the demon Surbatai) 36) Aaron 37) Saul 38) Elaine Kearney 39) Bob Talbot Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 12 Chapter Twelve: At KGB headquarters, Martin Weishaupt rages to his aide, Emil Gunter, about the news that Ha Bai Sun has been killed and the Lavender Family & Church of the Son of the Morning have been decimated. This is bad news since all cults are simply KGB conspiracies created to lure Western youth to cocaine and Satan. Emil tells Martin that Courtney's daughter, as well as the daughter of Gypsy Joe are among the new cultists that have been recruited. Steve Lancaster and Scott Rasmussen are at a table together and invite Captain Angel Caro over for a lengthy dialogue about how the Holy Garduna is sitting on top of vast oil reserves. Angel tells them that Susan and Olivia are there. Scott pays the check. Steve and Angel sit in a car and talk some more. Meanwhile, Olivia is brought by bus to the home of Julio Barrajas, prophet of the Garden Children. At that very moment, Courtney and Gypsy Joe are arguing about whether or not they should be selling weapons to Von Reinach's cult in Paraguay. Gypsy Joe is against it, but Courtney insists that Carlos is cool. Characters introduced in Chapter Twelve: 40) Emil Gunter Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 13 Chapter Thirteen: Patty Benson is being deprogrammed/ reprogrammed by Andrea in the Nevada desert. Andrea daydreams about her time in communist Hungary. Meanwhile, Paul Lancaster and his dad celebrate Cinco de Mayo in Paraguay because everything south of the US border is Mexico, right? They see Carlos Von Reinach on horseback. At that very moment Angel Caro is training his commandos. At precisely the same time, Emil Gunter defects from the USSR to the United States using the pseudonym "Mr. Muller." After checking in with his wife, Lottie, and asking about his children (Karl & Erika), he calls Courtney Davenport. Characters introduced in Chapter Thirteen: 41) Lottie Gunter 42) Karl Gunter 43) Erika Gunter Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 14 Chapter Fourteen: An oyster pirate named Patches Jackson witnesses a small submarine on the coast of Virginia as it drops off $50,000,000.00 worth of cocaine, and picks up a fresh crop of young cult enthusiasts. Patches tells his brother Phil about the submarine, and how it was parked on the property of Virginia's senior senator, Calvin Bouchegrave. This conversation is overheard by intrepid investigator Crandall Donovan. Patches takes his story to the Sheriff, who accuses Patches of trespassing and tells him to mind his own business. Meanwhile, the deputy plants a bomb in Phil & Patches' truck, which blows them up shortly after they leave the police station. The sheriff contacts Calvin Bouchegrave. Crandall takes his lead to Shirl Tucker, research intern at Davenport-Rockland University, and Crandall Donovan's link to Courtney Davenport, who has been paying the investigator to search for his daughter. Shirl calls Elaine Kearney, who is now at Counter Cult 3 (how many counter-cult sects are there??), who gets in contact with Raul Caro. Raul Caro skulks in the woods behind the Bouchegrave estate with two commandos, ex-Rhodesian cop Cliff Walters, and rogue Australian Army member Stan O'Connell. They drug and kidnap a guard, and take him back to one of the Counter Cult buildings, where Raul and Elaine interrogate him for three straight days. Nick shows up and the commandos return to the Bouchegrave estate for more skulking. Meanwhile, Dr. Hilda attempts to seduce Susan Rockland. Lastly, it's Olivia's turn to sleep with prophet Julio Barrajas, and she is left mentally broken after the experience. Characters introduced in Chapter Fourteen: 44) Patches Jackson 45) Phil Jackson 46) Senator Calvin Bouchegrave 47) Crandall Donovan 48) Unnamed stereotypical southern sheriff 48.5) Unnamed stereotypical southern deputy 49) Shirl Tucker 50) Cliff Walters 51) Stan O'Connell 52) Unnamed guard kidnapped from Bouchegrave estate Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 15 Chapter Fifteen: Courtney Davenport meets soviet expatriate Emil Gunter in a hotel room, then takes him to his Oklahoma ranch to meet Nick and Andrea. Emil's family is also there to meet him. Weishaupt discovers that Emil has defected, and sends KGB assassins Peter Chomsky and Sylvia Froenze to kill him and his family. Peter and Sylvia travel to the Oklahoma ranch. Sylvia kills Emil and Lottie. Peter kills Erika and little Karl. Nick kills Peter. Sylvia is captured and interrogated. Meanwhile, DAVROCK geologist Scott Rasmussen and his assistant Fazzio strike oil, which injures many workers. Fazzio tells Rasmussen that Susan is Gypsy Joe's daughter. Dr. Hilda hears all of this and begins to plot within her evil lesbian mind. At the hospital, tending the wounded workers, Susan reunites with Angel Caro and Paul Lancaster. Angel takes Susan to an officer's club, where she encounters Carlos Von Reinach. He becomes enamored with her. Susan and Angel make out. Characters introduced in Chapter Fifteen: 53) Peter Chomsky (codename: Faith) 54) Sylvia Froenze (codename: Hope) Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 16 Chapter Sixteen: Senator Calvin Bouchegrave is the type of man to drive his own limousine at high speeds, daring the local cops on his payroll to do something about it. After losing his family fortune in the Great Recession of 1986, he is approached by a Paraguayan representative from the Holy Garduna to help them smuggle cocaine and cult members from Bouchegrave's Virginia estate. They also had him pass a "Bill of Rights for cults" in Congress, although the details are never fully explained. Bouchegrave returns to his home to find all of his guards missing, and a death squad led by Raul Caro waiting to abduct him. Meanwhile, Paul tells Gypsy Joe about what's been going on with the Cult Crushers™, and the whereabouts of his missing daughter. Two days later, at the DAVROCK HQ, Nick, Andrea, Rasmussen, and Raul tell Gypsy Joe even more about their covert plans and operations. Meanwhile, Senator Courtney Davenport is holding hearing on cults. U.S. Secretary of State Roger Benson is there, as his daughter Patricia (formerly known as the demon Surbatai) has been reprogrammed with the blood of Christ and wishes to testify to Congress. Back in Paraguay, we meet Dr. Benito Salazar, leader of the guerrilla Christian Action Group. He is being stalked by Raul Caro and his commando death squad, who want to join forces with Salazar and his group. Meanwhile, Dr. Hilda talks to the prophet Julio Barrajas about how Olivia Davenport's mind has been destroyed by being forced to have sex with Julio, and how Dr. Hilda is filled with hateful lesbian jealousy. Angel Caro and Susan Rockland go skinny-dipping, and are surprised by Angel's brother Raul. Characters introduced in Chapter Sixteen: 55) U.S. Secretary of State Roger Benson 56) Dr. Benito Salazar Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 17 Chapter Seventeen: After spending eight weeks reprogramming kidnapped cultists into bloodthirsty killing machines, Nick and Andrea have a long chat about their relationship. Their loins are disciplined. The Kounter Kult Kommandos™ go on a murder spree in Philadelphia, NYC, and Washington, D.C. Patty Benson trains her killer sub-cult. Nick lusts to bring death to the people of Paraguay and beyond. Carlos Von Reinach and Scott Rasmussen talk oil. Gypsy Joe talks to murderous mercenaries Eli Shem Revvim and Mike "Bigfoot" "Puerter" Detlets about their murderous plans. Nick continues to dream of bringing death to the nonbelievers. Carlos Von Reinach asks for his Uncle (Prophet Estigarribia; Hermano Mayor of the Sacred Order of the Holy Garduna) to bless his marriage to Susan Rockland, which he does. After that, Dr. Hilda tells the Prophet what she knows about Susan's ancestry. Angel, Raul, Susan, and Dr. Benito Salazar plan for their attack. Martin Weisthaupt meets the Julio Barrajas (prophet of the Garden Children) at the airport and they drive together towards Puerto Conception in a rented Ford Escort. Dr. Hilda Von Ziegazar goes to Tulsa (under the pseudonym Leona Brammer, sales representative for a medical company) to talk to Gypsy Joe about his ethnicity. After the interview, Gypsy Joe's secretary Cathy mentions that she doesn't think Leona Brammer is who she said she was. They make some phone calls and find out there is no Leona Brammer! Gypsy Joe calls Paul Lancaster to let him know he's flying down to Asuncion. Characters introduced in Chapter Seventeen: 57) Cathy Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 18 Chapter Eighteen: A mysterious death squad comes from the sea murders nearly everyone at Puerto Conception. Weishaupt and Barrajas arrive, and immediately flee for Washington, D.C. Nick and his death squad arrive to kill everyone at Puerto Conception, only to discover that someone else has already done just that. He investigates. Paraguayan Army Captain Rodriguez tells Brigidier General Ramon Torrejos that there might be a conspiracy between the Sandinistas and Holy Garduna to take over Paraguay. Susan catches a ride down to the Holy Garduna with Dr. Heinz Shutzler, who tells her that Carlos Von Reinach wants to marry her. Paraguayan Chief Warrant Officer Filippo Gaduti steals 9 helicopters and gives them to the service of Angel Caro. Arriving in Washington, D.C., Weishaupt and Barrajas go to find Senator Calvin Bouchegrave. Prophet Francisco Garribia and Susan Rockland talk about her upcoming marriage to Carlos Von Reinach. He joins their discussion and kisses Susan. Characters introduced in Chapter Eighteen: 58) Paraguayan Brigadier General Ramon Torrejos, Brother in Law of General Ayala 59) Paraguayan President-for-Life General Ayala 60) Captain Rodriguez 61) Paraguayan Chief Warrant Officer Filippo Gaduti Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 19 Chapter Nineteen: The mysterious cult-killers come from the sky and head towards the breeding station at La Cuna. Susan daydreams about whether to marry Angel Caro or Carlos Von Reinach. Weishaupt and Barrajas talk to Bouchegrave, who invites them to his estate. Paul Lancaster tells Gypsy Joe that Susan is set to marry Von Reinach. When Weishaupt and Barrajas arrive at Bouchegrave's estate, they find Senator Davenport, Secretary of State, Nick, and Andrea waiting for them. . Benson explains that the mysterious counter cult death squads were actually Navy Seals sent on his orders to kill the cultists before his daughter Patty had her chance to kill them all. Davenport shoots Weishaupt in the arm. Weishaupt exposes Barrajas as a hermaphrodite. Davenport explains that he enjoys murder. He angrily tortures, mutilates, and murders Weishaupt and Barrajas, dumps them in pre-dug graves, and thinks about his bid for U.S. President in 1992. Characters introduced in Chapter Nineteen: None Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 20 Chapter Twenty: Susan and Von Reinach talk about their wedding. Gypsy Joe is also thinking about Susan's wedding to Von Reinach. Meanwhile, a man named Hermann Rathner and his unnamed associate have been stalking Gypsy Joe. They surprise him, spray chemicals in his face, roll him up in a carpet, and kidnap him to Asuncion. A guerilla pilot named Alfonso Vitali makes contact with Susan. Dr. Hilda attempts to sexually assault Susan, but is repelled. U.S. Navy Seals attack the breeding center at La Cuna. Nick and his death squad meet up with the Christian Action death squads. They celebrate their allegiance. Characters introduced in Chapter Twenty: 62) Hermann Rathner, stalker 63) Alfonso Vitali, guerrilla pilot Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 21 Chapter Twenty-One: The day is September 12th. Susan prepares for her wedding. She received a garlic enema. The Counter Cults prepare to attack the wedding. Dr. Hilda and Hermann Rathner arrive at the wedding and make a scene, trying to make it known that Susan Rockland is less than 100% pure Aryan. Von Reinach is angry at Dr. Hilda for interrupting his wedding. She brings out Gypsy Joe as proof Susan is a mongrel. Characters introduced in Chapter Twenty-One: None Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 22 Chapter Twenty-Two: Gypsy Joe Rockland and Susan are held before Dr. Hilda, Von Reinach, the Prophet Francisco Garribia/ Hermano Mayor, and the 10-member Holy Council. As they discuss the future, a man bursts in to the office to tell everyone about the massacre at La Cuna. The Prophet sentences Gypsy Joe and Susan to death. Patty Benson goes on a murder spree. She enjoys every second. Dr. Hilda takes a piranha in a jar to start torturing Susan, but Susan knock it loose and it bites Dr. Hilda in the face. Characters introduced in Chapter Twenty-Two: None Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 23 Chapter Twenty-Three: Susan and Joe sing "Amazing Grace" (probably because the lyrics are public domain) as they prepare to die. An aquarium filled with piranhas has been built on the stage behind them. The orchestra pit below them is filled with the wedding guests. Dr. Hilda starts to lower Gypsy Joe and Susan into the tank, but shots ring out and smash the class, emptying the tank into the pit of guests. General Ayala is eaten, among others. The Counter Cult invasion begins. Von Reinach, Dr. Hilda, and the Prophet escape to Core Central. Captain Luigi Palermo, first generation Paraguayan of Italian immigrants, is commander of the small air base at Hato Mayor. He gets the news that General Ayala is dead, and Dr. Benito Salazar is destined to be the next President-for-Life. If Palermo supports him, he'll be given command of Paraguay's Air Force. Palermo promises allegiance to Salazar. Characters introduced in Chapter Twenty-Three: 64) Captain Luigi Palermo Gutter Phoenix posted:Chapter 24 Chapter Twenty-Four: The attack begins on Casa del Swastika. Dr. Benito Salazar is cocky and many of his men die, which angers Raul Caro. He laments that non-Westerners cannot rule themselves. Patty Benson dies leading a fiery assault. All of the remaining evil cultists, including the Prophet, Dr. Hilda, and Von Reinach, are killed by fire and piranhas. All of the murderous evangelicals return to Tulsa. Characters introduced in Chapter Twenty-Four: 65) Major Hermano Busch, tank commander and Rommel enthusiast Gutter Phoenix posted:Epilogue Epilogue August 1995. Courtney Davenport is now President of the United States. Paraguay is now a key oil producer, controlled by DAVROCK. Susan marries Angel Caro, Olivia marries Paul lancaster, and they live happily in Paraguay, now essentially a U.S. colony. Civil liberties are extinct. Non-conformists are killed or deported, as are minorities and non-Christians. Gypsy Joe is still preaching. He doesn't think Courtney Davenport has taken the U.S. as far right as it can go. He decides to run for President in 1996. THE END?? Original OP: I started reading this gem last night, and made it all of 3 chapters before I knew I had to share it with GBS. This thing is nutty! Here's how this is gonna work: 1) I'm going to post a chapter or two each day. The chapters are short, so that's not a whole lot of reading. 2) The text can then be absorbed, appreciated, annotated, and hilariously commented upon by the people of GBS. 3) ??? 4) Success!! Here's the first chapter:      I think there are about 25 chapters, so we can get through this thing in a couple of weeks. I'll try to post the 2nd and 3rd chapter as soon as I get a chance to scan them, because things really pick up in chapter 3... OK, have at it. PS - Special thanks to bweep boop! for bringing this fine piece of literature to the attention of the book thread. Gutter Phoenix has issued a correction as of 20:03 on Oct 18, 2019 |
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Sep 23, 2019 17:20
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I think this is my favorite line from chapter one: "Some say that he had been the Lord's chosen instrument for cleansing the city of moral lepers, of porno shops, of X- and R-rated movie houses, and of gay bars." Also, I am going to legally change my name to Moral Leper.
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Sep 23, 2019 17:36
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I get the vague impression that Courtney Davenport will end up better than that filthy liberal traitor Leo Ryan did
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Sep 23, 2019 17:54
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Welcome to C-SPAM! How may I take your order?
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Sep 23, 2019 17:55
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please edit your template to not call us GBS. otherwise, solid thread
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Sep 23, 2019 18:22
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This would make a pretty neat Choose Your Own Adventure
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Sep 23, 2019 18:24
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A whole book unironically praising mega-churches. I'm going to assume the antagonists being a Christian cult is because this was published before the rise in public awareness of Islam as a boogeyman. Also, could you post one page at a time so it's easier to read on mobile.
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Sep 23, 2019 18:27
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Oh poo poo, I posted this in the wrong forum!! That's what I get for doing this in a hurry at work. If one of the mods could move this to GBS, that would be awesome, but if not I'll just keep going with it.
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Sep 23, 2019 18:37
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Who What Now posted:Also, could you post one page at a time so it's easier to read on mobile. You got it.
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Sep 23, 2019 18:38
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This seems to be based on the weird rear end Colonia Dignidad in Chile, a Christian Cult headed by an escaped Nazi officer which held political prisoners of the Pinochet regime for torture and had several child rape incidents.
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Sep 23, 2019 18:41
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DADROCK Development Corporation
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Sep 23, 2019 18:42
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the sacrament is cocaine and the liturgy was born in Nazi Germany
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Sep 23, 2019 18:48
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Ya have to ask a cspam mod to move it to gbs. Fine with me.
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Sep 23, 2019 19:00
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"The alcoholic, ex-convict son of a Negro father and Cherokee mother..."
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Sep 23, 2019 19:02
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Burt Sexual posted:Ya have to ask a cspam mod to move it to gbs. Fine with me. Dearest C-Spam mods: Can you please move this thread to GBS? I am a big idiot and posted it in the wrong forum by mistake. If not, that's fine too. All are welcome to participate in the discussion of THE CULT CRUSHERS
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Sep 23, 2019 19:18
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just submitted my resume to Triple Canopy and Academi fingers crossed the mercenary life for me
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Sep 23, 2019 19:19
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LifeSunDeath posted:"The alcoholic, ex-convict son of a Negro father and Cherokee mother..." It is my prediction that the author made this character an ethnic person so that he'll be able to say, "See, not racist!" when the protagonist does a bunch of horrible racist stuff later in the book. I haven't read past chapter 3 yet, so only time will tell.
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Sep 23, 2019 19:20
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Sep 23, 2019 19:21
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"We are expecting a pack train, within the hour, of 180 donkeys loaded with the finest of Santa Cruz raw cocaine for the refinery."
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Sep 23, 2019 19:32
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Sep 23, 2019 19:33
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 420/y, NICE
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Sep 23, 2019 19:35
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tbh this seems C-SPAM as hell
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Sep 23, 2019 19:37
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Petroleum... Oklahoma? 
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Sep 23, 2019 20:34
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Ah yes, the famously wealthy native Americans of Oklahoma.
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Sep 23, 2019 20:37
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Prepare yourselves for chapter 3...         
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Sep 23, 2019 20:42
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Might want to slow your roll a bit, 3 chapters a day of squinting at images is a lot and now it's just becoming a chore to keep up.
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Sep 23, 2019 20:45
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Arivia posted:Might want to slow your roll a bit, 3 chapters a day of squinting at images is a lot and now it's just becoming a chore to keep up. That's it for today, as per the OP. I'm only going to do a chapter or two a day going forward. Enjoy!
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Sep 23, 2019 20:53
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It is hard to read all this while I'm steady reloading shells and mixing baker buckets in my underground replica vietnam spider tunnel. e: also I super wish it was a choose your own adventure
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Sep 23, 2019 20:55
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It's a real power move to use so many exclamation points in your prose!
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Sep 23, 2019 21:37
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Some thoughts on chapter 3:  I like that even crackpots make fun of Scientologists.  These two dudes are totally gonna gently caress, even if it isn't in the book.   This vision of the ACLU is pure gold.
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Sep 24, 2019 00:12
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My favourite thing so far: Courtney Davenport's massive chin. Two mentions in three chapters!
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Sep 24, 2019 01:03
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Tiggum posted:My favourite thing so far: Courtney Davenport's massive chin. Two mentions in three chapters! IF you saw the chin, you'd understand, it's worth mentioning twice...much like the dubious Cherokee blood.
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Sep 24, 2019 01:06
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Helsing posted:the sacrament is cocaine and the liturgy was born in Nazi Germany considering this is published by Soldier of Fortune magazine, I'm wondering if this is an endorsement?
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Sep 24, 2019 01:07
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So if Joe Rockland is supposed to be half black/half Cherokee how is his daughter "full blooded" Cherokee? Also have to laugh about how the "heroes" of the story are two dudes in their late 50s.
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Sep 24, 2019 02:13
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I’m left wondering why someone would take cocaine in pill form, then have it immediately start affecting them. Which I realize is a minor point, but it’s a stunning indictment of someone not paying attention to anything for a while. How do you misunderstand cocaine so badly to come up with that?
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Sep 24, 2019 02:21
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part of the wierdness about the hero being cherokee is that he is (loosely!) based off of real life televangelist oral roberts, who had a stranglehold on tulsa, ok. even the "tower of power" is based on the real prayer tower at oral roberts university. note how this monstrosity tops the distorted golden cross with a burning flame like that off of a refinery. i'm not an expert on oral robert's life by any measure, but his ethicity seems to have been complicated. he was a member of the choctaw nation, but claimed to be ethnically cherokee and looked white. i think that the writer interpreted his claims of being cherokee as being part black, but also sees him as the great white hope for america, hence the weird shifting descriptions. also, i like how the hatchet the kgb assasin uses is 'a razor-sharp Oriental ceremonial hatchet.' no aspect of the story is too small to not be made racist!
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Sep 24, 2019 02:41
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one of them oriental hatchets. you know, those hatchets the orientals got
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Sep 24, 2019 03:37
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I love how the senator answers the question the journalist asked the woman by introducing the protagonist Blast Hardcheese.
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Sep 24, 2019 04:25
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Gutter Phoenix posted:
I like how they litter the text with brands (seriously - United, Avis, the Toyota Land Cruiser, Scientology, the Hare Krishnas), but they were what made the lawyers nervous enough to fudge the name.
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Sep 24, 2019 05:43
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Hedningen posted:I’m left wondering why someone would take cocaine in pill form, then have it immediately start affecting them. Which I realize is a minor point, but it’s a stunning indictment of someone not paying attention to anything for a while. I'm glad someone else caught this because I forgot to point it out. It's like if the author had the cultist shoot up some pot and go on a PCP rampage.
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Sep 24, 2019 15:31
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