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I'm currently being assessed for ASD (probably a couple more sessions left) and I'm curious about how others think about time and the future and how that relates to enjoying routine and not liking changes of plans. Before a psych started asking me a bunch of questions about my life, I wouldn't have said that I require routine or a schedule particularly. It's not something out of the list of autistic traits that I've particularly identified with. While thinking about it more though I realised I am actually pretty bad at dealing with sudden changes to my near future. This has always felt logical though because I'm basically always thinking about the future and visualising events that I know will happen in the near future, and if I can't clearly picture how I think something will go then I get very nervous. It was most obvious to me before I got my first tattoo - everything I read about the process was basically that it's super dependent on the person how it feels and how much it hurts and where hurts more than other places, and how it heals... so I basically felt like there was a huge blank zone in my mind's eye for the afternoon of the appointment and that really freaked me out. It was fine in the end though and now I kinda like the process because the healing goes through very defined, predictable stages that I'm familiar with now. Anyway that means I don't deal well with sudden changes of plans because I've been imagining one future so clearly and all of a sudden I have to readjust to the new change of plans. Does that sound familiar to anyone else? Do those of you who prefer routine prefer it for a different reason?
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Jan 31, 2021 17:08
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| # ¿ May 21, 2024 10:53 |
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I mean what do you want? If you want a diagnosis, then you have to do that through a professional. Otherwise you do whatever anyone else does to achieve the thing you want and it doesn't matter whether you're autistic or not, it's just a label that gets applied to certain personal characteristics. It's not like there's medication or something.
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Jul 15, 2021 05:09
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I don't know I'd say incompetent given that there's a huge continuum of people and ability and personality, but I think on average neurotypicals are worse at seeking out and retaining large amounts of specific information about a topic.
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Aug 5, 2021 15:15
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Falconier111 posted:I mean, obviously and unfortunately. Some level of generalization is necessary in order to function, but it’s impossible to tell when your generalizations have major issues and attaching value judgments like “better” is asking for trouble. Oh that's a really interesting way of putting it! It would explain why I'm good at my job which involves keeping in mind a massive interconnected web of information, but just simply awful at names even when I'm trying as hard as I can to memorize one.
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Aug 8, 2021 01:07
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The images thing is called aphantasia! I'm not sure if it's linked to autism specifically but non-autistic people can definitely have it. I don't have it but I'm still real bad at faces, I think not bad enough for it to be true face-blindness but it's kind of embarrassing how many times I have to meet a person before I can recognise them reliably, and then it goes away again if it's been too long in between.
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Oct 24, 2021 12:23
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Klaaz posted:I don't have problems recognizing faces as long I see then in the context I expect them to see. Meeting people outside the space I am used to meet them can cause some distress and confusion to say the least. Yepp, as someone in a relatively small city with a job that involves a lot of direct client contact, I am always worried I'm going to run into a client out in the wild and just absolutely not recognise them.
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Oct 25, 2021 14:31
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Does he like looking at stuff? When I was a kid I could have stared at one of those little oil bubble maze moving things for hours... let's be honest I probably still would now. poo poo, I'm gonna go buy one now! I'm an adult I can do what I like! ETA: This site looks like it's full of the good poo poo Organza Quiz fucked around with this message at 01:58 on Nov 27, 2021 |
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Nov 27, 2021 01:54
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Yes that is very relatable. I saw a thread on twitter once that pointed out that feeling compelled to point out double meanings is also an autistic trait and that was mega-relatable. I think it's common for us to be wired to notice ambiguity in language and feel weird about it, but for some of us that manifests in compulsive punning!
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Nov 30, 2021 15:47
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Interestingly I think there has now been research showing that autistic people aren't inherently more likely to be trans than the general population, we are just more likely to both realise it and do something about it due to being less influenced by the people around us. Don't know how they'd test for something like that but it seemed true to me so it must be right!
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Dec 4, 2021 02:20
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Hm yeah I'm also just not sure. I think I'd like the first sketch more if it ended on him getting obsessed with coming up with a crime that's easy and quick enough to get in prison but doesn't involve hurting anyone, but then it would be hard to have as good a punchline. I think it just tips it over the edge into not great to have him not care about hurting people if it gets him what he wants, I don't think that's helpful representation. But it is also very funny as a punchline! I like the taliban one more. ITT autistic people overly seriously overanalyse a funny joke ETA okay this one is pretty great https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=m5ROoNT7-ZI Organza Quiz fucked around with this message at 01:20 on Dec 16, 2021 |
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Dec 16, 2021 01:16
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I thought "I can't see you I can only hear you" was silly until I thought it through and realised if I was in the same situation I would definitely notice that and can't guarantee that I wouldn't say it.
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Dec 16, 2021 04:27
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Cast_No_Shadow posted:It seems a bit like a philosophical question. When I sought an assessment my psych asked me if I was sure I wanted to go through a long expensive assessment process or we could just talk about my specific issues and deal with them on their own terms, without it mattering if it fit in the "autism" diagnosis box or not. To her the main advantage to getting diagnosed was being able to access nationalised disability support, which In my case I don't need and wouldn't qualify for. For me, the main factor was wanting to know for sure if I could identify as autistic or not - like was I actually right that the collection of traits I'd noticed about myself fit that description or was I just "eccentric"? It was a weird process, I kept comparing it to my identity as a queer person and what it would be like if I had to go through an interview process first with an expert to ID that way (which I guess is not far off what some trans people have to go through anyway to access medical care, but at least that's not an identity thing).
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Dec 28, 2021 17:45
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Powered Descent posted:This reminds me of a quote I ran across many years ago, from the novelization of Red Dwarf: Ohhh that is really insightful. I'm definitely the first type and that's a very useful way to think about the other type of person I think.
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Dec 29, 2021 03:17
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Yes, everyone masks to some extent, but autistic people have to work harder to look "normal" for whatever social situation they're in than neurotypical people to, and it takes a specifically heavy toll. Or I guess they just don't ever learn to do it and burst out with inappropriate poo poo all the time.
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Jan 24, 2022 06:01
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Dr.D-O posted:How do y'all afford to get diagnosed as adults? How do you feel being diagnosed affected how people view you? I waited until I had a good job and didn't mind spending the money on it. The therapist I found had a conversation with me first where she explained that we don't actually need to go down the diagnosis route if I didn't want to, she could just help me with whatever my issues actually are without needing to put a formal label on it. That might be something to explore if you don't feel the need to be assessed and would rather spend the money on actual therapy rather than hours of being interrogated about your childhood (it was not a process I enjoyed). You also don't have to tell anyone about it if you do get diagnosed, you can choose who to share it with.
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Jan 27, 2022 13:04
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That's a really awful thing to have happened to you, no one should be treated like that and that person should not be in that kind of position. Having said that, getting a formal diagnosis or not doesn't change the likelihood of that happening again, because it is still something that only you will know and which you can choose to disclose or not disclose to whoever. You will still be the exact same person so if they're going to have a problem with you they will whether you have a diagnosis or not.
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Jan 27, 2022 15:20
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Better question: i have a new coworker who reminds me of me when I was younger and I'm 99% sure she's also autistic. There isn't really a good way I can bring it up though right? She's pretty young and I guess I want to make sure she knows and also she might feel better if she knows she has someone she can talk to about this stuff in the work context who Gets It. But I don't think there's a reasonable way to go hey so you're autistic right?
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Feb 9, 2022 11:38
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Poil posted:When they tell you to do x but then get angry when you didn't also do y despite them not telling you to. For example asking to vacuum the carpet in a short corridor and then asking why the floor wasn't also vacuumed when they clearly specified "carpet" instead of saying the corridor if they wanted the whole thing vacuumed. Lolllll I had so many arguments with my mother about that growing up "Unpack the dishwasher please" "Ok" [Later] "why didn't you pack the dishwasher after you unpacked it??"
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Feb 10, 2022 03:19
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Wtf who doesn't tell their kid and important fact like that about them. I thought I was probably autistic ever since I was a teenager, I just related to a lot of autistic traits. I think the one that really tipped it over for me was learning that sensitivity to textures could be part of it. I just waited until I had a stable well-paying job to get diagnosed because it's expensive and I didn't need it to get access to support because I didn't really need much support.
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Feb 11, 2022 05:52
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I went through the process in my early 30s just because I'd always suspected but wanted to know for sure, and I was finally in a position where I had the money and the mental energy to get around to doing it. There were a lot of questions about what I was like as a child because they want to know traits you've always had, even if you've learned to mask them as an adult.
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Apr 27, 2022 01:15
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Yeah that's pretty much why I didn't do the parent questionnaire bit when I did my assessment, I was concerned it wouldn't be accurate to what I remembered of my experience. My psych didn't have a problem with that though and it wasn't necessary for my assessment. Kinda sucks if it is for yours - can you substitute in another relative or someone else who's known you for a long time?
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May 26, 2022 11:31
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Cast_No_Shadow posted:Whoops meant to post this in the ant thread I watched a documentary with my partner last night about bees and I spent the entire time comparing the bees to ants and generally spouting ant facts from the ant thread, so honestly that thread is also autistic culture.
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Jun 1, 2022 01:34
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Papa Was A Video Toaster posted:WTF is level 3? Can I take another level in autism? Can I multiclass? Are there different coloured belts? Current classifications for autism are 1-3 based on support needs, where 1 is very little support required and 3 is a very high amount of support required. At least that's how my psych explained it to me, might not be used as much in the US?
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Jun 11, 2022 02:53
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Pththya-lyi posted:I'm not usually a put-poo poo-in-my-mouth kind of person, but I am a rip-stuff-into-tiny pieces -- mostly leaves and woodchips -- and a play-with-jewelry kind of person. Eventually I found knitting and that is a good stim for me. Also I learned to flap again after discovering the neurodiversity movement and it owns bones (try it sometime!) And of course I'm a typical phone-addicted Millennial. But it's hard, finding the right sensory diet. My husband tried to get me to use worry beads years ago, but they were just too bulky and awkward to carry around. I know a lot of people use silicone chewy necklaces to satisfy their urge to bite, but YMMV. I feel like I had a pretty good handle on my autistic characteristics when I went through the diagnosis process given I'd suspected I was autistic for like 15 years before I did, but I still remember being asked if I liked tearing things into tiny pieces and going OH. If I can recommend a craft needle felting is actually pretty good for tearing stuff up motion because you're often pulling bits of wool off bigger bits and also using a tearing motion to mix up the directions of the fibres before you start felting. Less related but talking about stims I've got a ton of use out of my fidget rings at work. They're just little discreet silver rings with stuff on them that can be fiddled with constantly without having to grab a pen or some ribbon or bluetac or whatever (not that I don't do those things too just not in front of clients lol).
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Jun 12, 2022 01:36
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I don't think I have trouble feeling/describing emotions but it's kind of hard to explain what that's like? But like if I think "what am I feeling right now" I can come up with an answer. You seem to be talking about reaction to emotion to a certain extent, which is a different thing that I definitely don't do like a normal person, but I could explain what I was feeling if asked. I do have trouble articulating certain kinds of big feelings, but I do have the words to do it I just can't make myself say the words out loud, so that's also a different thing.
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Jul 13, 2022 02:59
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The keyword for that is the double empathy theory! It was a really useful thing for me to be able to frame it like that from the start - autistic people are not bad at communicating, we just have what is essentially a cultural difference with non-autistic people.
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Jul 13, 2022 11:58
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All you need to say is "thanks!" really. Or maybe like, "Thanks, that's very nice of you." Ideally with a nice smile to show that you're happy they said something nice to you. You don't need to also compliment them or explain things or deflect. If there's an obvious return compliment to give them then sure no harm in doing that, but yeah in your example it would have been obvious that you were just trying to come up with something to say in return, which just emphasises the fact that you weren't able to compliment them on the same thing.
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Jul 15, 2022 07:16
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Cast_No_Shadow posted:Say thanks. Oooohh this is much too advanced a move for me. Also I'm really lucky I have an understanding partner because we have literally had a conversation about "Yes I enjoy it when you compliment me, even if I don't really react it's just because I don't know the Correct reaction to it, but I like it and you can keep doing it" which let me tell you really takes the pressure off.
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Jul 15, 2022 09:51
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Dance Officer posted:How do others here experience being in love with someone, and how often does it happen to you? I'm in ~love for the first time~ now. I have very low motivation to date or be in a relationship and I'm incredibly picky as a result (dating has to compete with how good my life is generally and how little free time I feel I have) so I mostly hadn't bothered until now, was really considering myself somewhere close to aromantic. Took me a year to suggest a date to my partner even though I knew he liked me because I was so in my own head about it (although that was more an ugh I'm mostly only into girls do I want to date a guy thing). Anyway I realised it was going a good direction when I didn't resent spending more and more of my free time on this guy and in fact wanted to do that, and the feeling that can be described as "love" is so big it's like a physical sensation in my chest. I was worried I'd have trouble identifying it but no it was pretty easy in the end to be like ah yes this must be it. Now actually saying it out loud, that's a different story, but I'm getting better at saying it in text at least.
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Jul 17, 2022 01:16
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Yeah I think the belated "oh wait oops I should have done the outward expression thing instead of just internally thinking a thing" is just like general autism. Executive dysfunction is knowing that you want to do the thing and you should do the thing but just not being able to make yourself do the thing.
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Jul 19, 2022 04:35
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Yeah I'd be very surprised if the autistics are more likely to be trans thing is anything more than autistic people are more likely to not absorb the societal gender roles being forced on them and therefore more likely to recognise dysphoria and do something about it.
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Jul 23, 2022 02:19
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Learning that food texture stuff was a common autism thing back in the day was the thing that really sealed the "oh I'm probably autistic" deal. In my case I can deal with most solid food textures fine (I love mushrooms!) but thick cheesy sauces I can't handle at all. I have taught myself to tolerate creamy sauces because they taste so good but the food has to be very hot for it to work. I have no idea why heat helps. I also sleep on a silk or satin pillowcase because they're the only fabrics smooth enough to not feel super rough against my face. That was a fun one growing up, the way I tried to communicate it was to say my pillow wasn't soft enough, and that worked about as well as you can imagine.
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Aug 1, 2022 02:31
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Quorum posted:I also have fewer texture sensitivities with food than a lot of other folks (my siblings got most of that), but God forbid someone try to mix fruity and savory. Fruity glazes on meat, or apple on a sandwich, or mango salsa can gently caress right off. I've even tasted all of those and they're not bad, they're just wrong! Pizza toppings must consist of: tomato sauce, cheese and mushrooms. Anything else is Incorrect, even if the added ingredients are foods I normally enjoy.
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Aug 1, 2022 04:52
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The real diagnostic test is whether you get annoyed at the questions being badly worded/too open to interpretation!
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Aug 12, 2022 09:05
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One of the things that really made everything fall into place for me was a twitter thread pointing out that constantly noticing puns and double meanings was an autism thing, it's the same brainthing as taking everything too literally except you aren't literally taking it too literally, your brain is just catching on the other meanings even if you do know intellectually which one is the one that they meant in the situation.
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Aug 12, 2022 09:24
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broken pixel posted:I used to answer honestly, but I learned that you shouldn't do that. I wish there was a better way to say to friends/people I like well enough, "How are you? No, like, for real. Like, without the filter." I think the way to do that is to ask them a more specific question, like "how has work been" or "did you have a busy weekend" or something. Advanced move: keep track of what they told you last time about things going on in their life and then ask them about those things later.
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Aug 29, 2022 11:07
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Needle felting has been my ultimate solution to "I like crafting things into existence but following patterns is hard." It has repetitive stabbing motions and tearing motions and very pleasing noises and nice soft textures and you can make whatever you like without having to follow anything.
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Aug 31, 2022 05:22
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Cold things are allowed to touch and hot things are allowed to touch but it's bad if they touch each other because then the cold things become warm and the hot things become colder.
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Aug 31, 2022 13:49
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cinnamon rollout posted:My apologies if I came across like "what are the secret autism foods he will eat", I know there isn't a specific set of food rules for autism. Insight from others, even a little, helps me see things I might not have seen otherwise though. Honestly for this one I'm not sure we can help - I can't explain my food preferences as a set of consistent rules even now and my brain loving loves making rulesets for things. I just tell people these days not to even try to learn the rules, just check individual foods/cuisines. You might just have to try things out and try to keep track. I guess the only hint I can give is that when I've taught myself to tolerate textures I can't stand its been by finding things that are very delicious but have that texture. Like I hate thick sauce textures but can tolerate cream-based sauce if it's very hot. But that's been something I've done by choice as an adult to increase my food options, I don't think a child would go for it.
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Sep 1, 2022 13:31
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| # ¿ May 21, 2024 10:53 |
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RPATDO_LAMD posted:Yeah that's why I said "autistic trait" and "autistic symptom" and not "trait" vs "symptom". Because the words are not synonyms in general... only when you are talking about a (medical) condition that can actually be described as having symptoms. Disease/medical condition and disorder are different things. Autism is a disorder because it involves people acting in ways that society does not handle very well, which might cause those people to have problems in life. It's not a disease or a medical issue.
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Sep 2, 2022 15:16
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