Turning my house into a platformer game

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > Turning my house into a platformer game

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vanisher

Everything is on the top shelves so people have to jump to get stuff

# ? Oct 17, 2019 21:51

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 29, 2024 00:13

vanisher

Those coins on my nightstand were already there before this but I think kinda work with what I'm going for

# ? Oct 17, 2019 21:56

vanisher

Just now realizing I dont really own a lot of chests

# ? Oct 17, 2019 21:57

google THIS

After days of digging I've concluded that it is impractical if not outright impossible to make an actual bottomless pit so I'm settling for lava. Anyone know where I can get some really, and I mean REALLY strong in-floor heating cable?

# ? Oct 17, 2019 22:14

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

google THIS posted:

After days of digging I've concluded that it is impractical if not outright impossible to make an actual bottomless pit so I'm settling for lava. Anyone know where I can get some really, and I mean REALLY strong in-floor heating cable?

I always wanted to play a game of "the floor is lava lamp" while tripping balls

# ? Oct 17, 2019 22:21

Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

As a wise sage once said, the floor is lava.

You think those are kids running around? That's just my bros that touched the floor and shrunk to half their size.

# ? Oct 17, 2019 23:31

Finger Prince

Removing large sections of staircase so you have to stand right at the very edge of the one stair if you want to make it to the next. Also there are deadly spikes on the floor where missing sections of stair are.

# ? Oct 17, 2019 23:32

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

I put furniture dollies in the hallway so I could run and jump on them to get to the next power up (it's in the kitchen. the power up is a hotpocket)

# ? Oct 17, 2019 23:40

vanisher

Locked the door to the guest bedroom and threw the key in the pool. Should make a neat water level.

# ? Oct 17, 2019 23:51

Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

Filling my house with a large number of pressure plates, two-state switches, wild animals, and conveyor belts to make a working calculator.

# ? Oct 18, 2019 00:06

vanisher

"Hey, so I heard you're looking for a mushroom guy. I can get my hands on some for you"

Okay I need like three guys to walk in a straight line in my hallway.

"Hold on is this about drugs or something else"

# ? Oct 18, 2019 00:28

Goons Are Gifts

"Hey man, I just went downstairs and I think your pet turtles broke out and are now everywhere!"

"No, that's just the underground level."

# ? Oct 18, 2019 00:33

alnilam

vanisher posted:

"Hey, so I heard you're looking for a mushroom guy. I can get my hands on some for you"

Okay I need like three guys to walk in a straight line in my hallway.

"Hold on is this about drugs or something else"

_{ty manifisto}

# ? Oct 18, 2019 00:45

Macnult

you squished ALL of our portobellos??

# ? Oct 18, 2019 00:45

alnilam

My house is like mario 3 in that if you squat over a white porcelain block for a while you can get something from behind

_{ty manifisto}

# ? Oct 18, 2019 00:46

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

why yes I do store all my valuable possessions in identical clay pots

# ? Oct 18, 2019 01:09

google THIS

I got tired of all the doors in my house not opening when I shot them with my handgun, so I finally acquired the missile launcher and it turns out they're all missile doors. No good powerups behind them though, just a bunch of broken and burnt poo poo covered in wood splinters.

# ? Oct 18, 2019 03:22

vanisher

My girlfriend couldnt beat the spider boss so she called me in to help

# ? Oct 18, 2019 03:40

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

i tried to make the big jump from the roof to the shed, where there's supposed to be magical garden shears

that's how I found out u only get 1 life :ghost:

# ? Oct 18, 2019 03:56

google THIS

Having to wiggle back and forth at the foot of the stairs for five seconds before I finally start climbing them.

# ? Oct 18, 2019 03:56

vanisher

google THIS posted:

Having to wiggle back and forth at the foot of the stairs for five seconds before I finally start climbing them.

# ? Oct 18, 2019 03:59

vanisher

Letting a goose go loose in my house live on twitch

# ? Oct 18, 2019 04:01

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

as I lunge through the bush level with gusto and ease; my wife looks on, appreciating my enthusiasm

# ? Oct 18, 2019 04:14

magic cactus: We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.

google THIS posted:

Having to wiggle back and forth at the foot of the stairs for five seconds before I finally start climbing them.

timing my wiggles exactly right so that I glitch right up the staircase and into the attic, avoiding the dreaded bathroom level.

Thanks to Saoshyant for the amazing spring '23 sig!

# ? Oct 18, 2019 04:48

FutonForensic

obnoxiously telling my party guests that my bushes are the same as the clouds for the millionth time & and that my second house in Florida is actually called "doki doki house" in japanese

# ? Oct 18, 2019 05:59

vanisher

House Maker 2 - where you get to make the house, your way!

# ? Oct 18, 2019 06:25

Escape From Noise

Hiring a large goon to kidnap my wife and lock her in a tower.

# ? Oct 18, 2019 09:05

Escape From Noise

I hid a tanuki costume in a box. I put it on and start twerking in an attempt to fly.

# ? Oct 18, 2019 09:09

nut

arguing with my wife over who has to take out the garbage because we both hate running the loop de loop

# ? Oct 18, 2019 10:53

nut

*voice from the secret attic* the wumpa fruit rotted again

# ? Oct 18, 2019 10:58

Heather Papps: hello friend

i turned my house into a platformer but when i left for work i could only keep going in one direction.

i'll miss my wife and children, but i have to keep moving right.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!