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The cashier spoke to Robert. "There's a two-for-one on lemons. If you go get another lemon, you get that lemon as a free lemon"
But I'm already checking out, panicked Robert, and I only came to the store to get one lemon.
Later, as Robert switched on his turn signal and made a responsible shoulder check, Robert reflected, It could have been worse. Unbidden, the time lemons were buy two get one intruded on his mind. He gripped the steering wheel more tightly.
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Nov 14, 2019 16:02
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May 16, 2024 08:17
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When you first meet Robert you wonder why he doesn't go by "Rob" or "Bobby," but within ten minutes you're like, "I get it."
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Nov 15, 2019 00:20
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Robert dreams of having the opportunity to ask, "Do you have stairs in your house?"
One day, he overhears someone casually mentioning Something Awful Dot Com in conversation.
From that day forward, he dreams of having the opportunity to ask, "Do you have stairs in your house?" and actually doing it.
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Nov 15, 2019 16:30
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Robert wonders if it's really a good idea to tell his parents he has a girlfriend so they'll stop worrying about him so much. Then he takes one more look at the extra chips in his basket, smiles, and hits Send.
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Nov 17, 2019 01:41
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Robert dutifully waits in line at the DMV, on his actual birthday, to renew his car registration. He told himself he was going to renew online and save the hassle this year but he kept putting it off. This is no less than he deserves, he thinks to himself. This is his penance.
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Nov 18, 2019 03:34
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May 16, 2024 08:17
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Robert tries to feel better about himself by imaging his life as a quirky existential dramedy film, but it puts him right to sleep.
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Nov 18, 2019 15:50
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Nov 14, 2019 16:02
