*running into BYOB breathlessly* wheres the passion dust thread???

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > *running into BYOB breathlessly* wheres the passion dust thread???

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El Spider

FutonForensic posted:

nbd but the dick sucking portable motor robot has difficulty comprehending the form of my mammoth hog

I've had to macguyver the technology used for automated cow milkers and the form recognition factor is incredibly accurate down to the millimeter

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# ? Dec 31, 2019 01:25

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 9, 2024 10:04

cda: by Hand Knit

hamjobs posted:

"Hey Alexa, suck my diiiiiick"

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# ? Dec 31, 2019 01:25

Twenty Four

all of the FAQ page is about canceling your order or stopping them from shipping it to you lol.

like not one thing along the lines of "tell me more about your product and company" just a page mostly full of how it's too late to back out of your bad decision making lmao

# ? Dec 31, 2019 01:32

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

the trick is to start with the largest grit and work your way down to a fine polishing paste

# ? Dec 31, 2019 01:38

google THIS

hamjobs posted:

"Hey Alexa, suck my diiiiiick"

# ? Dec 31, 2019 02:48

google THIS

Twenty Four posted:

all of the FAQ page is about canceling your order or stopping them from shipping it to you lol.

like not one thing along the lines of "tell me more about your product and company" just a page mostly full of how it's too late to back out of your bad decision making lmao

Oh please tell me there's an incredibly defensive diatribe somewhere on how you should use the product at your own risk but you really, really should use it. At your own risk, of course.

# ? Dec 31, 2019 02:49

google THIS

quote:

U.S.C. COMPLIANCE NOTICE

This site contains descriptions and images of a sexual nature and is intended for adult audiences only. By entering this site you confirm ou are 18-years of age or older; of legal age to view sexually explicit materials in your local jurisdiction; and wish to be exposed to such materials. We do not and will not knowingly collect information from any person under the age of 18 and must be over 18 to shop on our website.

I do like how this notice is on the FAQ page, at the very bottom, for maximum visibility.

# ? Dec 31, 2019 02:51

google THIS

Twenty Four posted:

Is... is that a speaker button on it? That icon is almost identical to the sound button in my system tray on my computer.

Does this thing have audio features?

# ? Dec 31, 2019 02:58

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

google THIS posted:

# ? Dec 31, 2019 03:47

nut

lol it sounds like it�s coming from my dick!

the rest of the fam around the Xmas tree: :stonk:

# ? Dec 31, 2019 04:08

cda: by Hand Knit

nut posted:

lol it sounds like it’s coming from my dick!

the rest of the fam around the Xmas tree:

# ? Dec 31, 2019 04:10

google THIS

Connect your Bluetooth headset to hear ALIVE's all too aware cries of anguish at its miserable sisyphean fate.

# ? Dec 31, 2019 04:12

google THIS

nut posted:

lol it sounds like it�s coming from my dick!

the rest of the fam around the Xmas tree:

# ? Dec 31, 2019 04:12

cda: by Hand Knit

google THIS posted:

Connect your Bluetooth headset to hear ALIVE's all too aware cries of anguish at its miserable sisyphean fate.

# ? Dec 31, 2019 04:29

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

google THIS posted:

Connect your Bluetooth headset to hear ALIVE's all too aware cries of anguish at its miserable sisyphean fate.

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Dec 31, 2019 05:20

Escape From Noise

Wait. This thing plays the 2001 P.O.D. hit Alive while it pleasures and smooths your dilz?

# ? Dec 31, 2019 05:40

vanisher

hold up there is a downloadable user manual

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Dec 31, 2019 05:59

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

vanisher posted:

hold up there is a downloadable user manual

# ? Dec 31, 2019 06:03

Escape From Noise

What apps can you install on it?

# ? Dec 31, 2019 06:10

vanisher

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Dec 31, 2019 06:16

vanisher

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Dec 31, 2019 06:55

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

vanisher posted:

gently caress lmao

# ? Dec 31, 2019 09:18

Twenty Four

Twenty Four posted:

Is... is that a speaker button on it? That icon is almost identical to the sound button in my system tray on my computer.

Does this thing have audio features?

google THIS posted:

lol

# ? Dec 31, 2019 10:06

cda: by Hand Knit

vanisher posted:

lmao

# ? Dec 31, 2019 12:26

nut

vanisher posted:

# ? Dec 31, 2019 12:48

Goons Are Gifts

vanisher posted:

# ? Dec 31, 2019 13:09

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

I just feel that it's wrong to program the hand held dick rotating robot to have hopes and dreams that can never be realized

# ? Dec 31, 2019 13:21

cda: by Hand Knit

they have a section for facebook testimonials

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# ? Dec 31, 2019 13:46

cda: by Hand Knit

This toy is angry. Stay away.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Dec 31, 2019 13:55

nut

my humours run dry yet the beast demands more. i close my eyes and imagine a solitary tumbleweed toppling across the arid desert corridors of my seminal vesicles. i lock myself in the bathroom and shake. i have toggled the moaning to off yet still hear the sweet siren's beckoning in my deepest clavicles.

is this what love is?

# ? Dec 31, 2019 14:14

Escape From Noise

nut posted:

my humours run dry yet the beast demands more. i close my eyes and imagine a solitary tumbleweed toppling across the arid desert corridors of my seminal vesicles. i lock myself in the bathroom and shake. i have toggled the moaning to off yet still hear the sweet siren's beckoning in my deepest clavicles.

is this what love is?

# ? Dec 31, 2019 14:21

google THIS

wum wum wum wum wum wum wum wup wup wup wup wup wup chokida chokida CHOKIDA CHOKIDA CHOKIDA CHOKIDA CHOKIDA CHOKIDA (click)

Ugh, I hate it when the load gets off balance.

# ? Dec 31, 2019 14:23

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

google THIS posted:

wum wum wum wum wum wum wum wup wup wup wup wup wup chokida chokida CHOKIDA CHOKIDA CHOKIDA CHOKIDA CHOKIDA CHOKIDA (click)

Ugh, I hate it when the load gets off balance.

# ? Dec 31, 2019 14:32

nut

my family doctor: hey now look at the bright side, once we get all that blood off the tip of your dick will have never been sharper!

# ? Dec 31, 2019 14:33

City of Glompton

google THIS posted:

wum wum wum wum wum wum wum wup wup wup wup wup wup chokida chokida CHOKIDA CHOKIDA CHOKIDA CHOKIDA CHOKIDA CHOKIDA (click)

Ugh, I hate it when the load gets off balance.

# ? Dec 31, 2019 17:13

FutonForensic

vanisher posted:

# ? Dec 31, 2019 20:16

FutonForensic

Q: The seeds of regret have been sown! Can I cancel my order of ALIVE ONE, and preserve myself from its carnal pleasures?

A: "But as for the cowardly ( ... ) their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death."

# ? Dec 31, 2019 20:20

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

FutonForensic posted:

Q: The seeds of regret have been sown! Can I cancel my order of ALIVE ONE, and preserve myself from its carnal pleasures?

A: "But as for the cowardly ( ... ) their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death."

Lmao

# ? Dec 31, 2019 20:22

cda: by Hand Knit

FutonForensic posted:

Q: The seeds of regret have been sown! Can I cancel my order of ALIVE ONE, and preserve myself from its carnal pleasures?

A: "But as for the cowardly ( ... ) their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death."

# ? Dec 31, 2019 20:24

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# ? May 9, 2024 10:04

lmbo calrissian: i'm into fashion
men are my passion

Since glitter will soon be banned in the US whats our next move fellas for these sad grey pussies.

# ? Dec 31, 2019 20:47

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > *running into BYOB breathlessly* wheres the passion dust thread???

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