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ripping the wall off the side of the local tavern, i ask the barkeep if hes heard any rumors. he glares at me and points to the "no bulldozers" sign. i sigh and leave empty handed, wishing id put more points into charisma. |
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Jan 6, 2020 22:42
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 23:07 |
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ursula k. le guin's the tombs of atuan, except every character is operating a bulldozer
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Jan 6, 2020 23:28
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there are whispers of a great warrior living in the town who may aid you on your quest. what, pray tell, is the great warrior's name? Mike Mulligan. Let's ride. |
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Jan 7, 2020 00:03
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Manifisto posted:ursula k. le guin's the tombs of atuan, except every character is operating a bulldozer lmao |
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Jan 7, 2020 02:58
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DM: "The Berserker's axe cleaves deeply into the fire elemental lord's chest, and with one final fiery shriek the bright red glow of its eyes dims to embers and then extinguishes forever. The Dwarven capital city is saved from certain immolation!" Human Oracle: "I search the corpse for items." DM: "It's a pile of incredibly hot ash and cinders that repels you with painful heat." Human Oracle: "I cast Protection from Energy: Fire on myself and then search the corpse for items." DM: *annoyed* *rolls dice* . . . "OK, you find - are you writing this down? It's not my job to keep track of this for you so pick up your pencil . . . OK, you find a platinum ring with a large emerald inset into it, a chain mail shirt that feels unnaturally light and strong, ten red gemstones of varying size, and . . . *rolls dice* . . . 40 liters of refined diesel fuel in two jerry cans." Human Oracle: "Oh thank Sarenrae, I thought my 'dozer was gonna be stuck in this stupid cave forever! I cast Detect Magic and look at the loot." DM: "The ring, the chain shirt, and the jerry cans full of diesel are all emitting a magical aura." |
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Jan 7, 2020 09:36
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Brute Squad posted:there are whispers of a great warrior living in the town who may aid you on your quest.
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Jan 7, 2020 09:38
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Brute Squad posted:there are whispers of a great warrior living in the town who may aid you on your quest.
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Jan 7, 2020 13:46
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Mentat Radnor posted:DM: "The Berserker's axe cleaves deeply into the fire elemental lord's chest, and with one final fiery shriek the bright red glow of its eyes dims to embers and then extinguishes forever. The Dwarven capital city is saved from certain immolation!" cursed diesel of + 3 global warming
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Jan 7, 2020 13:47
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Mentat Radnor posted:DM: "The Berserker's axe cleaves deeply into the fire elemental lord's chest, and with one final fiery shriek the bright red glow of its eyes dims to embers and then extinguishes forever. The Dwarven capital city is saved from certain immolation!" Stoner Sloth posted:cursed diesel of + 3 global warming
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Jan 7, 2020 15:01
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Stoner Sloth posted:cursed diesel of + 3 global warming |
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Jan 8, 2020 03:02
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Refusing healing from the cleric so that I can claim workman's comp. |
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Jan 8, 2020 07:16
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party buffs up before a big fight by drinking a potion which clads them in glowing ephemeral hard hats, face masks, and kneepads.
crimes |
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Jan 8, 2020 16:03
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workplace pranks: imbuing a heavy load with Mass Raise Dead, dropping it from a tall height on top of a load of unsuspecting acapella singers. they'll die, but not for long. crimes |
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Jan 8, 2020 16:04
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The kobold lunges desperately at your dozer! It's a critical hit! His tiny dagger pierces the hydraulic supply line, causing a pinhole leak, filling the air with a toxic cloud of hydraulic fluid mist! The caustic mist burns your eyes, make a saving throw for constitution! |
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Jan 8, 2020 17:02
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:party buffs up before a big fight by drinking a potion which clads them in glowing ephemeral hard hats, face masks, and kneepads. welcome back |
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Jan 8, 2020 17:05
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Finger Prince posted:The kobold lunges desperately at your dozer! 1 *winces* I'd like to use my last luck of the day to reroll that oh, WHAT... another 1, okay so how boned am I?
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Jan 8, 2020 17:05
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me playing a ranger, offering a handful of lugnuts to a curious baby backhoe, rolling nat 20s on my Handle Animal skill like a foreman. cda posted:welcome back ty crimes |
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Jan 8, 2020 17:12
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A forest of hostile treants surrounds my dozer, thinking they’ve finally stopped me. I toss my cigar on the ground, and turn to the rest of the party, grinning wickedly “Time to get out the feller-buncher and make a little lumber”
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Jan 8, 2020 17:27
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using a gem of true seeing to differentiate a vase from a reliquary, as the latter can only be handled by a member of the Tomb Raiders Union, local 36DD.
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Jan 8, 2020 17:30
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Waiting on the Thieves Guild guys to get off their 4th legally mandated coffee break of the morning and finish disabling this damned pit trap. Dragons are easy, Thieves Guild shop stewards are CR 22 and immune to all diplomacy checks and charm spells.
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Jan 8, 2020 17:46
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pixaal posted:1 *winces* Take 1d10 damage! The burning pain in your eyes is excruciating. Luckily there is some castor oil in the first aid kit in the dozer, unluckily, you are temporarily blind so fumbling around for relief causes you to be Stunned for the next round. Also your dozer has lost all hydraulic pressure and cannot attack until you can isolate the leak. It can still move. |
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Jan 8, 2020 18:00
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the OSHA thread is the best thread in GBS. they provided me hard numbers for calculating what kind of effort it would take to physically demolish a tomb. PHIZ KALIFA posted:Thanks to Devor for providing approximate numbers for this one. I recalculated volumes after realizing that 1) I am bad at math and 2) stoned. It would take one team 45 days to level the site to grade, then 267 to excavate the additional 20 yards down. crimes |
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Jan 8, 2020 20:53
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Okay so we need to go digging for radioactive to make nuclear bulldozers or something? I would like to try and craft a geiger counter
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Jan 8, 2020 20:58
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the ceiling mimic gets a surprise attack, but they roll at a disadvantage due to the bobcat's cage. never leave the cage. |
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Jan 8, 2020 21:01
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:the OSHA thread is the best thread in GBS. they provided me hard numbers for calculating what kind of effort it would take to physically demolish a tomb. i love this thread so much. it has brought me much joy and i really, really, REALLY want to play this campaign
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Jan 8, 2020 21:16
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owlhawk911 posted:i love this thread so much. it has brought me much joy and i really, really, REALLY want to play this campaign we are playing right now! 
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Jan 8, 2020 21:22
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:the OSHA thread is the best thread in GBS. they provided me hard numbers for calculating what kind of effort it would take to physically demolish a tomb. That is hilarious. |
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Jan 8, 2020 22:04
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 23:07 |
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alright now that we know it would take marginally less than a year for an actual bulldozer squad to demolish the tomb can we goldmine this thread?
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Jan 9, 2020 21:24
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