|
personally when confronted with a mysterious black disk held in a demon's mouth, i would remove that portion of wall with my bulldozer. likewise, the collapsing ceiling trap would be trivial to escape from using just the bucket on my bulldozer. "im sorry, acerack" i would mutter "i keep loving up your traps with my rad-rear end bulldozer." it has never been explored in game, but i believe we can take it as writ, that gelatenous cubes cannot defeat a bulldozer. personally i would love to have a room full of gelatenous cubes, and i am running over them with my bulldozer, tokyo drifting around the room on the slickness of the no-longer-cubes. i would continually shout "woo!" while doing this. |
#
¿
Jan 2, 2020 15:29
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 12, 2024 08:00 |
|
|
plowing through that one portion where it's four small square rooms connected by doors that open contrary to the placement of their knobs (one swings upwards, the other swings downward, so on) i would demolish those with my bulldozer and find myself standing in Acerack's lair. A jeweled skull sits on the throne atop a raised dias, and with a twinkle from a single eye, he disintegrates my rad-rear end bulldozer, leaving me armed with nothing but a Huge Sword of Litchfuckery.
crimes |
|
#
¿
Jan 2, 2020 20:41
|
|
|
three halflings just plowing through wave after wave of kobolds with a souped up Ventrac Sidewalk Snow Eliminator just caked in gore. their suicide run suddenly wildly successful beyond any of their imaginings, the sudden prospect of having to live after unleashing a Genocide Machine upon an army of chittering fools galls them, their conscience grows heavier with each meaty THUNK as mithril blades tear through rat-eaten leather studs. The mouth of the cave looms before them ever taller, a glowing mouth leading to what, judgement? praise, for having transformed a culture into soup? which could possibly be worse? crimes |
|
#
¿
Jan 2, 2020 21:44
|
|
|
swallowed by a Deere Dragon, busting open its stomach with my Portable Crane
crimes |
|
#
¿
Jan 3, 2020 00:36
|
|
|
IT IS DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS AND MY CHARACTER IS: A FORKLIFT OPERATOR. My class? OSHA. My race? Hooligans Local 420. I am nudest while wearing PPE and a mesh hi-viz vest. I am Tokyo Drifting a pallet of roofing tiles into tier 2 of an unsecured 5 tier stack. Even as a bystander, I am riding dirty. Tomb of Horrors? Amazon Warehouse. Spot the differences, goblins, skeletons animated by fell magicks, Jeff Bezos just a bejeweled skull who will never stop grinning. I am making William Tell Overture sounds with my mouth, charging at an army of kobolds. I am rounding the corner with forks raised, two dripping shishkabobs of experience points. I have gained all the levels. I am mastering new feats. I am expanding my forklift proficiencies and practicing Stunts in my downtime. Watch me open this can of beer. Watch me do on two wheels what fools cannot do on four. Watch me make sport of mastery, as I crush every combat beneath my Neverflat tires. I am tooting my little beep-beep at intersections. I am activating my flashers while under load. I am refraining from using hand-held electronic devices while in transit and always check my blind spots. I am carrying the team's loot on a secured, plastic-wrapped pallet. I am extending my forks to bridge a spike pit. I am holding aloft our halfing archer, that they might have a better vantage point from which to rain a volley of death. I am a stretcher for a slain champion of Gruumsh, felled by an intransigent golem. There is a sheet tied from my forks in a crude semblence of a stretcher. I am tooting my solemn, funerary beep-beep. I am making dirge noises with my mouth as the half orc is laid to rest beneath a pile of murdered horses. I am tearing up my OSHA 40 hour card. There is only rage, now, rage and a forklift. I am forklifting apart the walls of the Tomb of Horrors. I am pulling down the devil's mouth that surrounds Acerack's portable hole. I am erecting caution tape around that hungry void, that none should fall prey to the stupidest of all possible deaths. I am forklifting down doors. I am forklifting mimics and treasure chests alike. I beep my toot-toot in rage. Goblins flee. Hobgoblins flee. Bugbears are destroyed, ground to a stubborn pulp by my engine of destruction, the steely extension of my will upon the world, my will to forklift, and to be forklifted in return. Acerack sits upon a throne upon a dias, in a room accessible only through sorcery or forklifting. It is laughing, it's eye sockets two huge glittering gems, it's sharp teeth pointed crystals. "Charge, mortal!" It shrieks "Charge, if you dare!" And I do, so I do, and I am the winner, by the power and glory of Gygax, forever and ever, Amen. crimes |
|
#
¿
Jan 3, 2020 02:00
|
|
|
me and four totally ripped dudes shirtless, jackhammering into the Tarrasque's reflective shell, rendering it vulnerable to ray and beam-type spells.
crimes |
|
#
¿
Jan 3, 2020 16:58
|
|
|
GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:
can we collaborate on like a short 2 page comic where this image, or something like it, is the culmination of a joke about "bull rush"? crimes |
|
#
¿
Jan 5, 2020 05:36
|
|
|
also personal thanks to everyone contributing art to this thread, it's glorious and y'all are helping me through a real dark period.
crimes |
|
#
¿
Jan 5, 2020 05:36
|
|
|
a bunch of Sword Coast Rangers interrogating a necromancer who doesn't have immigration papers for the corpses he animated.
crimes |
|
#
¿
Jan 5, 2020 06:26
|
|
|
party buffs up before a big fight by drinking a potion which clads them in glowing ephemeral hard hats, face masks, and kneepads.
crimes |
|
#
¿
Jan 8, 2020 16:03
|
|
|
workplace pranks: imbuing a heavy load with Mass Raise Dead, dropping it from a tall height on top of a load of unsuspecting acapella singers. they'll die, but not for long. crimes |
|
#
¿
Jan 8, 2020 16:04
|
|
|
me playing a ranger, offering a handful of lugnuts to a curious baby backhoe, rolling nat 20s on my Handle Animal skill like a foreman. cda posted:welcome back ty crimes |
|
#
¿
Jan 8, 2020 17:12
|
|
|
using a gem of true seeing to differentiate a vase from a reliquary, as the latter can only be handled by a member of the Tomb Raiders Union, local 36DD.
crimes |
|
#
¿
Jan 8, 2020 17:30
|
|
|
the OSHA thread is the best thread in GBS. they provided me hard numbers for calculating what kind of effort it would take to physically demolish a tomb. PHIZ KALIFA posted:Thanks to Devor for providing approximate numbers for this one. I recalculated volumes after realizing that 1) I am bad at math and 2) stoned. It would take one team 45 days to level the site to grade, then 267 to excavate the additional 20 yards down. crimes |
|
#
¿
Jan 8, 2020 20:53
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 12, 2024 08:00 |
|
|
alright now that we know it would take marginally less than a year for an actual bulldozer squad to demolish the tomb can we goldmine this thread?
crimes |
|
#
¿
Jan 9, 2020 21:24
|
|