nut posted:

Whoria Discordia posted:

"More weight!" I scream. The witchfinder frowns disapprovingly and gestures for the men to add another blanket. I lay prone beneath, dwarfed by the growing pile of blankets. The crowd watches with a mix of pity, fear, and awe. They had expected me to give up after the third, yet I have held my peace for five more hence. As the final blanket is added I let out an anguished groan. The judges lean in, anticipating my confession.

With the last of my strength I wheeze "more... weight..." before drifting off to dreamland. I am the coziest I have ever been.

The people of Salem jeer and boo, fed up with my poo poo.